[FIN] Fatherless (Hamaniya & Avahk)

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The grey adolescent was sitting in the sun, staring out towards the border, cerulean eyes distant. He was still in uttter shock over what had happened. He remembered that his father had left sometime in the night, and had barely acknowledged hearing the white lion tell them to stay there and get some sleep.

The next thing he knew, it was bright morning and his father still hadn't returned. It was at that point that someone, he couldn't remember who, had come by and explained quietly, but firmly, that their father had been escorted to the border and banished from the pride for his overly vocal views.

Avahk didn't even know what to feel about any of it. All the adolescent knew was that he wanted to strike out at something - anything! - and find someone or something to blame.  

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His name. Someone was calling his name. Someone female, and not yet fully mature. The most likely culprit was one of his sisters...

Seemingly disaparate pieces of information finally clicked together and Avahk was able to fit a name to the voice.

"Hamaniya," he responded in dull acknowledgement. His every syllable and movement was limp and uninspired as he continued to stare straight ahead without even bothering to turn towards his sister. His sister whom he could never, not even for a moment, fool himself into thinking was his father. The grey lion had never been as disappointed about having no brothers as he was at this moment.  

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"Sure," he answered as dully as before, voice low and flat. "I'm alive, I'm here." Unspoken were the words "what do you want from me?" Avahk didn't even know if he wanted a sibling here or not right now, he was just so...empty.

Had he driven their father to this? His idolizing of Lord Fuu? Or had this been something that was just a part of the white lion even before they were here? He didn't know. Would probably never know for certain.

But that couldn't keep the guilt from welling up inside of him.  

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"I don't know." The sentence was torn unwillingly from his throat, a response that Hamaniya merited by their shared blood and upbringing, that no one outside of the four of them could ever earn. The question was, in not so many words, one of the thoughts he'd been agonizing over for hours now.

Overnight, his life had been turned upside down. Avahk had always been confident before that even if he didn't have all the answers, he could find them with time, or effort, or both. Now...now he wasn't sure of anything anymore. Not even what he'd once thought he'd known.  

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The boy didn't turn to look at his sister, not even when he felt the heat of her gaze upon him. He was so lost in his inner turmoil that even hearing and responding to her words was like reaching across a vast gulf.

But he heard her moving, as if she was about to leave.

"...wait," he called. Then paused, as if trying to put his thoughts in order.

"Do you...miss him?"  

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At least he wasn't the only one Avahk mused, feeling his own eyes burn even as he listened to Hamaniya's sobbing grow further away. It didn't help him figure out what to do now. But it did make him feel a little better.

Though he was glad she wasn't around to see the tears overflowing and dripping down his face.