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 Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 10:49 pm
Hi guys, new girl to the guild here. Call me Alice. ^_^
I recently moved from a small, unknown town in the foresty mountains of Oregon to Seattle, WA. I moved in with my boyfriend, and uhm.
Well.
I have uh. I have no friends of my own. I made friends with a few of his good pals, but they're all guys. I have no friends that are girls, and it's awkward. None of his friends seem to have friends that are girls either, so I'm stuck.
What do I do guys? How does one make friends? DX
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 12:57 am
Hi Alice ^_^ Welcome to the guild! I believe it's easier to make friends if you show that you are comfortable with yourself and around other people. You could try starting a conversation with someone who looks like she has the same interests as you. Maybe say something like, "Cool shoes, I have a similar pair and they are my favorite!" Smiling and eye contact helps as well.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 12:59 am
Spicy Camel Hi Alice ^_^ Welcome to the guild! I believe it's easier to make friends if you show that you are comfortable with yourself and around other people. You could try starting a conversation with someone who looks like she has the same interests as you. Maybe say something like, "Cool shoes, I have a similar pair and they are my favorite!" Smiling and eye contact helps as well. I think my problem might be that I'm a wee bit shy to do that. It's odd, and I've done such a thing before I moved, but the people always thank me and just move on. So I feel like it's not something people usually associate with trying to make friends?
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 1:00 am
Have you had the chance to talk to your boyfriend about this possibly?
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 1:09 am
Con Dolore -reborn- Spicy Camel Hi Alice ^_^ Welcome to the guild! I believe it's easier to make friends if you show that you are comfortable with yourself and around other people. You could try starting a conversation with someone who looks like she has the same interests as you. Maybe say something like, "Cool shoes, I have a similar pair and they are my favorite!" Smiling and eye contact helps as well. I think my problem might be that I'm a wee bit shy to do that. It's odd, and I've done such a thing before I moved, but the people always thank me and just move on. So I feel like it's not something people usually associate with trying to make friends? I totally see what you mean :/ Perhaps the reason why they act nonchalant may be because they think that they might never see you again? In that case, you could try joining a club which exposes you to the same group of people. For example, my big brother goes every Friday to a card shop to play Magic with other people. And I agree with exother, your boyfriend may be able to offer advice or at least comfort :]
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 1:11 am
exother Have you had the chance to talk to your boyfriend about this possibly? I have, actually. He says "Well, you'll make friends at college." I can't physically go to college here until Spring term next year. =/
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 1:16 am
Spicy Camel Con Dolore -reborn- Spicy Camel Hi Alice ^_^ Welcome to the guild! I believe it's easier to make friends if you show that you are comfortable with yourself and around other people. You could try starting a conversation with someone who looks like she has the same interests as you. Maybe say something like, "Cool shoes, I have a similar pair and they are my favorite!" Smiling and eye contact helps as well. I think my problem might be that I'm a wee bit shy to do that. It's odd, and I've done such a thing before I moved, but the people always thank me and just move on. So I feel like it's not something people usually associate with trying to make friends? I totally see what you mean :/ Perhaps the reason why they act nonchalant may be because they think that they might never see you again? In that case, you could try joining a club which exposes you to the same group of people. For example, my big brother goes every Friday to a card shop to play Magic with other people. And I agree with exother, your boyfriend may be able to offer advice or at least comfort :] I'd totally join a club if it was free, but I'm not a trading card person, nor athletic. I think that's kind of my problem, is that I'm just used to making friends via school, and have never had to make friends outside of school, or the internet. I don't have a clue as to what to do, and am often too shy to talk to people I don't know unless work calls for it. Also, I just replied to exother. My boyfriend doesn't seem to care too much, and asks why I can't just be content with his friends. And then says I'll make my own later. =/
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 1:52 am
Con Dolore -reborn- exother Have you had the chance to talk to your boyfriend about this possibly? I have, actually. He says "Well, you'll make friends at college." I can't physically go to college here until Spring term next year. =/
But anyway, you've started off well! Don't stop with complements but maybe extend them like 'I really like the way your hair is styled. Did you get that done in town? It's soo good!'. Use the novelty that you're new to the area as an advantage. People don't mind! And when you've built up a rapport, invite people over for lunch or afternoon tea. It could even be the lady the runs say the Milkbar down the street. Having lunch with her she may have a niece or aunt or sister that could be your age? You never know.
What also helps too is becoming a regular at say a cafe for example. You don't have to spend a crazy amount of money, just go in at the same time every couple of days and order the one coffee or snake. People are more observant than you may realize.
I hope that helps and remember. You're starting off on zero, you've got nothing to lose and everything to gain!
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Irako of the Desert Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 3:10 pm
It can be hard to make friends in a new place. Do you have any hobbies that you can take with you places? Like crocheting or knitting or drawing? I've made friends that way. I'll take a crochet project somewhere and work on it, then when people walk by and look at what I'm doing, I'd say hello and smile at them. I've done the same with my sketchbook too, and then when people ask me what I'm drawing, I show them. Taking pets for walks is also a conversation-starter, especially if they're something other than a dog. You can teach a cat to go with you on walks, though if your cat is neurotically shy, I wouldn't recommend it. It works better with cats that are pretty friendly with strangers.
Your boyfriend may not realize that having female friends are as important to you as having male friends are to him. He might also not have tried imagining being in your position, where he only knows your friends and has none of his own.
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 3:27 pm
Hey! I’m talking! cat_scream
i lug my sketchbook around a lot, it brings attention. i've actually gotten a few business cards out of it as well~
scary part is that people are telling me that i'll make thousands if i get famous on my drawings, and i need to improve...
._________.
my foreshortening and stuff like that suck, but i'm good at proportions
i'm going to shut up now
Ok, I’m done. Go back to your babble
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 3:32 pm
Con Dolore -reborn- Hi guys, new girl to the guild here. Call me Alice. ^_^ I recently moved from a small, unknown town in the foresty mountains of Oregon to Seattle, WA. I moved in with my boyfriend, and uhm. Well. I have uh. I have no friends of my own. I made friends with a few of his good pals, but they're all guys. I have no friends that are girls, and it's awkward. None of his friends seem to have friends that are girls either, so I'm stuck. What do I do guys? How does one make friends? DX
Ah, I have the same problem you do I guess. I always have trouble making friends. But I later noticed that I can just make them by being honest and just by being...yourself really. You don't need a mask to hide your real being, just go ahead and be yourself. If somebody agrees with your real being, congratulations, you found a friend. If someone doesn't agree with you, then you've found a rival. :/
But other than that, welcome to the guild! Hope you like it here! smile
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 8:16 pm
Irako of the Desert It can be hard to make friends in a new place. Do you have any hobbies that you can take with you places? Like crocheting or knitting or drawing? I've made friends that way. I'll take a crochet project somewhere and work on it, then when people walk by and look at what I'm doing, I'd say hello and smile at them. I've done the same with my sketchbook too, and then when people ask me what I'm drawing, I show them. Taking pets for walks is also a conversation-starter, especially if they're something other than a dog. You can teach a cat to go with you on walks, though if your cat is neurotically shy, I wouldn't recommend it. It works better with cats that are pretty friendly with strangers.
Your boyfriend may not realize that having female friends are as important to you as having male friends are to him. He might also not have tried imagining being in your position, where he only knows your friends and has none of his own. I like Irako's idea 3nodding While you're taking your hobby to another place, it also gives you the opportunity to explore and clear your mind. You're in a new town so you'll have lots of things to discover. You mentioned that you are starting college in the Spring. It might seem like a long ways from now, but hang in there! Off topic: Wow, now I'm curious to see your drawings eek
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 8:24 pm
Spicy Camel Irako of the Desert It can be hard to make friends in a new place. Do you have any hobbies that you can take with you places? Like crocheting or knitting or drawing? I've made friends that way. I'll take a crochet project somewhere and work on it, then when people walk by and look at what I'm doing, I'd say hello and smile at them. I've done the same with my sketchbook too, and then when people ask me what I'm drawing, I show them. Taking pets for walks is also a conversation-starter, especially if they're something other than a dog. You can teach a cat to go with you on walks, though if your cat is neurotically shy, I wouldn't recommend it. It works better with cats that are pretty friendly with strangers.
Your boyfriend may not realize that having female friends are as important to you as having male friends are to him. He might also not have tried imagining being in your position, where he only knows your friends and has none of his own. I like Irako's idea 3nodding While you're taking your hobby to another place, it also gives you the opportunity to explore and clear your mind. You're in a new town so you'll have lots of things to discover. You mentioned that you are starting college in the Spring. It might seem like a long ways from now, but hang in there! Off topic: Wow, now I'm curious to see your drawings eek Hey! I’m talking! cat_scream
kitalphahart.deviantart.com
Ok, I’m done. Go back to your babble
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