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Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 5:36 am
Name: Hafwen Goodall
Nickname: None
Age: 15
Birthday: 5th August
Sign: Leo
Gemstone: Peridot
Blood Type: B+
Fav. Food: Freshly baked chocolate chip cookies
Hated Food: Bitter gourd
School: Crystal Academy
Hobbies: Soccer A natural on the field as if she has wings attached to her feet, Hafwen enjoys most of the track and field sports but soccer is her favourite of them all for the adrenaline rush it gives her whenever she plays in a match. She currently plays as a striker for one of the local club teams in Destiny City and intends to continue pursuing the sport at the professional level in the future. On top of the training sessions she attends 2-3 times a week, she can often be found practising on her own at the school field or the park on her free days.
Photography/Foodie Hafwen is a sucker for good food and enjoys taking pictures of everything food related. She has a habit of carrying her digital camera with her everywhere and can often times be seen snapping pictures of her surroundings in addition to everything that she and her friends have tried together. It is with great joy and a sense of accomplishment that Hafwen compiles her digital albums on a weekly basis to show where she had been as well as the things she had done so that she can look back upon them with fond memories in the future. She will also upload and share some of these pictures on her blog.
Blogging An avid blogger, no topic is taboo to Hafwen when it comes to posting her thoughts on pertinent issues featured on the news and sharing bits and pieces of her life on her blog which she has been doing on a weekly basis since the age of 10. She goes by the username 'Clowey' and has a small circle of online friends whose blogs she will follow regularly and with whom she usually chats with on weekends over instant messenger programs. Hafwen is very secretive about her blogging and intends to keep her real life and online identity as 2 separate entities entirely, careful to refrain from mentioning names and posting pictures of herself or her friends so as to avoid potential trouble as well as to maintain anonymity over the internet. She does not participate in social networking sites, even if her close friends attempt to persuade her to reconsider.
Virtues: Ambitious Whatever Hafwen sets out to do, she aims high and to be the best that she can ever be. It is this determination to succeed that gives her the drive to put in that extra amount of effort and go the extra mile that sets her apart from others, making her a role model in school who excels in most of her academics and sports. She is generally good with track and field activities on top of subjects such as Geography, History, Biology and Chemistry, but is absolutely hopeless when it comes to Mathematics, Economics and Art. Hafwen's ambitiousness is only limited to her own goals though. She will support her friends and assist them in any way necessary so that they could attain their own goals, but she will not push them the way she does to herself.
Loyal When Hafwen makes a friend, one is literally stuck to her for life. She will make time for them, stand up against those who speak poorly of them and even lend them a listening ear or shoulder to cry on whenever they're down. She may have many friends but it is only the ones whom she feels closer to and can confide in that will receive her undivided attention 24/7. She will still drop down everything and try to make time for her other friends, but she will only do so for an hour or two before making up an excuse so that she can go back to what she had been working on previously.
Confident With Hafwen, there is no such thing as uncertainty or getting cold feet when it comes to making decisions. Whatever she does, it is always with a huge ounce of faith and self-assurance that whatever she is doing is correct or the best and nothing that others say will cause her to change her mind once it is made. When it comes to making decisions in similar situations in which she had made mistakes in the past, this is where Hafwen's confidence will falter in direct proportion to the number of mistakes/failures and self doubt will begin to set in to affect her decision making ability.
Flaws: Hypocritical A growing teen who's still finding her way about the world, Hafwen craves acceptance the most from all of her friends (mostly her classmates with the only exception to this being her soccer teammates) and she will go to great length to ensure that she gets it. Even to the point of pretending to be someone whom she isn't or liking something that she actually doesn't just so that she can meet others' expectations and subsequently be accepted. She can be persuaded to do girly things so as to fit in with her girlier friends and she doesn't pretend to know everything or make up information lest it backfires and she gets labelled as a liar. Instead, Hafwen prefers to give non-commital or neutral answers to unfamiliar topics and then look them up on the internet so that she can contribute to the conversation actively the next time a similar topic is brought up.
Bossy When working as a team during a soccer match, Hafwen will usually slip into the role of the leader with ease and give her all as she drives the entire team towards their goals much in the same way that she drives herself usually. She has the utmost confidence in her own abilities and those of her teammates, and she expects people to place their faith and trust in her while following her instructions. Anyone who insists on doing things their own way without a valid reason will result in either said person being dropped from the team or Hafwen quitting entirely.
Hafwen has no issues with letting others be the leader, especially if the role was assigned by a figure of authority like the coach, and following their instructions but she expects the leader to be open to hearing out the opinions of others since they will be working together as a team. Similarly, she claims to be open to discussions about her plans when she is the leader but one can imagine how ineffective a discussion it can turn out to be with her resistant to change nature (see the next flaw below). There have been moments when people have found her enthusiasm and instructions overbearing which may result in them refusing to follow her instructions and the team to, in the worst case scenario, break down. When a team breaks down or rebels, Hafwen tends to take it in her stride as one of the expected outcomes due to her bossy side. She will not bend her will regardless though since she still firmly believes that whatever she is doing is right and for everyone's benefit at the end of the day.
Resistant to Change Hafwen hates having her plans changed, especially when it concerns something that she has already decided on or formulated an impression of. When something has occurred to disrupt her plans, she has a tendency to sulk on her own in a corner while her mind tries to work a way around it so that she can still carry out what she had originally planned for eventually. For someone with a dynamic mindset that needs to constantly adapt to the ever changing circumstances in sport competitions, deep down Hafwen is a person who is resistant to change even when she has been presented with valid reasons and evidences that it will be in her best interest to seriously reconsider something. She has a tendency to be more receptive towards change when it comes to trying out new things related to her hobbies (food, soccer techniques), especially if the recommendation had come from her father or a close friend.
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION (Here's a general reference of how she looks like as a character in another shop: Here~
Eyes: Azure blue, large, round and brimming with innocence whenever she so desires in order to coax people to get her whatever she wants
Hair: Cerulean blue mid-back length hair with natural curly ringlets that Hafwen usually leaves untied with her fringe swept to the left like this. When she plays soccer, she will tie her hair up in a simple ponytail which will look something like this
Face: Heart-shaped with a few freckles on her cheeks. It is not uncommon to see her sporting burnt cheeks and nose for most part of the year as a result of the amount of time she spends under the sun.
Clothes: Hafwen does not believe in keeping up with fashion trends unlike most of her peers, preferring to go for simple smart casual to casual attire such as T-shirts, polo shirts, jeans and pants. She has the occasional dress in her wardrobe and can dress up in a feminine manner should she put her mind into it though these occasions are few and far in between. (Attire Reference: Sports hoodie and shorts and brown boots. Colour of the hoodie and shorts will be up to the artist. ^^)
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Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 5:39 am
Knight Title: Dallol, Page of Uranus
Challenge: Got soup?
Uniform: Top -- This with flowing sleeves like this Bottoms -- Light flowy pants like this Gloves -- None Belt -- No belt at the page stage, will eventually have a belt like this by the knight stage Shoes -- This (including the criss cross bandage-like 'socks' around her calves) Shoulders -- None Accessories -- Head scarf with the Uranus symbol at one corner covering her head like this, this necklace Weapon -- A silver ladle
Page -- Just a ladle that can be used for serving soup
Squire -- A silver arabic coffee pot. Upon channeling her magic, golden orange sand will appear in the pot following which a gust of wind will carry the sand to a targeted ally's hands and feet. So long as she continues channeling her magic, the individual will start to feel warm and light, thereby granting his/her actions a boost in speed. This ability can be channeled either in brief bursts or in one shot until all the sand has ran out (maximum total duration of 30 seconds).
Knight -- A slightly larger and more elaborately designed arabic coffee pot with the symbol of Uranus on its lid. When Dallol begins channeling her magic, golden orange and pale green sand will appear in the pot and be carried to their intended target much in the same way as that when she was a squire. The golden orange sand will grant a speed boost whereas the pale green sand will make the individual feel more confident of his/her ability, thereby causing him/her to strike their enemies with greater power. This ability can be channeled either in brief bursts or in one shot until all the sand has ran out (maximum total duration of 1 minute).
Primary Colour: Tan to light brown Secondary Colour: White Accents: Up to the artist
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Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 6:25 am
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Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 7:34 pm
Before I get started, I just wanted to apologize profusely for this taking so long. RL swallowed me up in December and I can't tell you how sorry I am that your crit got swallowed up with me.
I'm truly very very sorry x infinity. I know that doesn't make up for the delay in your crit, but I hope you'll accept my apology and I hope that I haven't set you back too far.
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Civilian
Hobbies I think all three of her hobbies are fantastic. They make her a well-rounded character with a wide-array of things she can do both alone and with other people. A+!
Virtues Ambitious- It's great that Hafwen aims high and does everything she can to reach her goals, but it's unrealstic to say that she is good at everything. Unless she has zero social life what-so-ever, she can't possibly be amazing at all academics and all sports. I'd like you to be a lot more specific about what she's good at, because she can't be the best at all of the things.
Everything else looks good!
Flaws Pretentious- I think the flaw as-written is good, but I think it needs to be renamed. To be pretentious means to be stuck up/snobby/holier than thou, which is not at all what I'm getting from what you wrote. I really like the flaw as you've written it, but it comes off more as if she does anything possible to fit in and be liked, which results in her being 'fake'.
Everything else is fine~
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Powered Form!
Outfit: I'm not very good at knight outfits, but I think it looks okay. You'll probably need to have Uranus symbols added to it in random places! Weapon: I like the progression! Attacks: Look good to me<3
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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 6:11 am
*squishes* <3 Aww... it's really okie Sy. RL happens to everyone so it's perfectly alright and there's no need to apologize at all. It's good to have you back though! ^^ ~~~ Thanks a lot for the crit! I had a lot of fun creating Hafwen and I'm really looking forward to seeing what lies ahead of her here. I've added the subjects she's generally good at and totally hopeless in for the Ambitious trait and changed the naming of the Pretentious trait to Hypocritical. I hope that these changes are able to address the things that require tweaking. ^^ I'm not really particular with how her knight outfit should look, so I'm perfectly willing to work with the artist (Guine in this case) on having more Uranus symbols on her outfit if what she has at present is insufficient. =3 If there's any other aspect that needs to be worked on, please feel free to let me know! =)
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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 10:41 am
Looks good, my love<3 Again, I can't apologize enough but here is your trial stamp! I'll get a mod in here for you asap!
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Posted: Fri Jan 11, 2013 11:47 pm
No amount of apology will ever be enough since it isn't really needed in the first place. ;3 Thanks again for the crit Sy! <333
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Posted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 8:21 am
Uniform looks great and so does her personality. heart It's so nice to have another ambitious sports lover.
It's pretty neat that you found a way to use both speed and bravery in her powers too.
ACCEPTED, have tons of fun with her!
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