Welcome to Gaia! ::

Because no one is perfect and I could use some help because I'm tired of man made band-aid fixes like meds and other worldly things.

I have been in a ton of terrible relationships in the past that dealed with physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.

I live in fear.
I'm not as bad as I was but I do hate to be by myself for long periods of time because I get afraid and jumpy even thought I know that everything is ok.
I get really clingy and I freak out over the littlest thing because I'm so afraid of messing up or causing a bunch of trouble and drama.
I know this probably sounds pretty petty. D:
I know that no one else can fix me only God can but how do I even start?
Like I don't even know how to ask God to help me work through the issues.
Granted they are no where near as bad as what I was but I am just tired of being insecure you know. =/

Can anyone give me scriptures for me to look over?
Pray for me?
Give any advice?

I'm a survivor of a laundry list of abuse myself, so I can empathise with that.

Is there a counsellor or therapist or priest or pastor that you could talk to, both to aid you in overcoming the abuse you've suffered and to give you some spiritual guidance? If not that, is there anyone in your life that you can be totally honest and open with? Of course it's important to be able to lean on God, but it's also okay to lean on people too sometimes. Often it's your fellow man who puts you on the right track to improving your relationship with God.

There's really no right or wrong way to approach God on issues like this. When you're alone, just talk to Him a if He was sitting right there next to you. You can even say something like, "Hey God, I'm not really sure how to talk to you about this, but I'm having some trouble, and here's why. I could really use some help." If talking out loud like that makes you feel like a crazy person, you could write it down. Just like you were writing a letter.

Always remember that God loves you and is on your side. I know you know that, but it never hurts to remind yourself of that, especially in times of extreme distress. Sometimes just taking a deep breath and telling yourself that God loves you unconditionally, and is always rooting for you can be really helpful.

If you do need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open, and I'm always more than happy to lend a sympathetic ear if you need it, and offer whatever advice and perspective I can. As I mentioned before, I survived a horribly abusive relationship myself, so I really do know how hard it is to deal with the aftermath of such an awful experience. It's perfectly understandable that you're insecure after going through something like that, because insecurity is what abusers prey on, and they keep feeding those insecurities in every way they can. They try to make you feel like you're worthless or broken and will chip away at your self-worth until there's nothing left. It takes time to heal from that and rebuild what they tore down, unfortunately.

Cut yourself some slack. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone messes up. It's part of being human. If you don't ever risk making a mistake...well, that doesn't leave you with very much to do at all, and even less to gain. Ask yourself, realistically, what's the worst that would really happen if you messed up or made a mistake? Odds are, the fear of messing up is probably a lot worse than any actual fallout your mistakes may cause.

I'll definitely keep you in my prayers, and again, please don't hesitate to PM me if you ever want someone to talk to. Don't feel like you'd be burdening me or causing me any trouble. Again, I'm more than happy to help in any way I can.

God bless. heart