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 Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 5:54 pm
There are a lot of people who believe that there are just certain things that can never be forgiven. It can be easy to believe this when you have a lot of anger and pain towards the thing that was done against you, and perhaps even more anger towards the person who did it.
Do any of you believe the same thing? If so, what makes you believe that? Or if not, what are your reasons?
For me, I believe that if someone hurt me very badly (perhaps even in an unforgivable way according to other people), after a while, I would try to come to a place of forgiveness. As a child of God, I'm commanded to, and I want to. Of course, I'm only human; I don't doubt I would suffer, feel hurt and even angry at one point after being offended (I use the word "offend" with the connotation of anything verbal, emotional, or physical that would hurt someone). That's natural.
But I think there needs to come a time where I need to move forward with life and let go of those negative feelings. It could take a lifetime of forgiveness to move on, but I'd do it, if not for myself or even the one who hurt me, then for God. Most of all for God in either situation.
May God and His Son bless you.
-Candie
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 9:03 pm
 I forgive everyone. But you have got to let me fester and be mad for awhile. I forgave my my ex even though he cheated on me, out a gun in my face, and did a lot of messed up things. We don't talk but I'm not mad or holding it against him anymore. But when I am po'ed you have got to give me space, let me be mad and stuff just leave me alone so I don't say something I don't mean. The Bible says it in black and white (sometimes red depending on what Bible it is) forgive EVERYONE, leave the judging up to God. No loopholes out of that one. So it's alright to be mad as long as you don't act out on anger and be sure to forgive after awhile.
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 9:18 pm
I think I understand the - not everything can be forgiven. During my nine years of being buillied I went through some pretty rough time with people. I was being stepped on by people, hurt by them, why did they deserve forgiveness?
Then, I learned a story from one of my bullies. A young boy named Cody, both parents divorced and he lived with his grandparents. I felt horrible... I knew I couldn't forget what he did to me, and of course I wouldn't be able to put my faith in him, but I still forgave him for all he did.
In the bible is say to love your neighbor, and forgive people of their sins as God has forgiven your Sin. But has God forgotten that we sinned? That we turned our backs on him? No... and no where in the bible does it say "Forgive and Forget." It just says "Forgive and Love."
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 4:22 am
I've ended up in two separate (and unrelated) heinously abusive situations in my life. I harboured a lot of fear and hate and anger towards the people who hurt me for many years, but eventually, I found that I was able to forgive them. Not because they deserved my forgiveness, whether or not they did was irrelevant, but because I needed to forgive them before I could fully begin to heal and move on with my life. For a while, I did need to be angry at them. I needed to hate them. It was part of the process of coming to terms with what had happened to me, and part of learning to not blame and hate myself over what had happened. But eventually, I realised that hanging onto that hate and anger was just one last way that these horrible men had a hold over me, and to fully move on, I needed to forgive them. I didn't need to tell them (one of them is either dead or in locked up and I'd have no idea how to go about finding him anyway), but internally, I needed to let go of the anger and forgive them. The hate and anger served its purpose in its time, but that time had passed and now it only served to poison me and to keep me tethered to the past and the crimes that had been committed against me.
It was very liberating. Hate is a heavy burden to carry in your heart, and when I was finally able to let go of it, I felt as if an enormous weight had been lifted from me. I also feel that I didn't truly start to accept what had happened to me and really begin to heal from it until I found it in myself to forgive.
A lot of abuse survivors will never forgive their abusers, and that's okay. I can't hold it against them. Everyone is different and everyone heals differently. But for me at least, forgiveness was a key part of my recovery, which is still ongoing, and I know it's likely I'll never heal completely, but I'm so glad to no longer be carrying that hate and anger around with me.
There's an excellent documentary on the subject of forgiveness called Forgiving Dr. Mengele, about a Holocaust survivor who was one of "Mengele's twins." She and her twin sister both survived, though her sister suffered permanent kidney damage from the "experiments" that were performed on them at Auschwitz. I found it very inspirational and highly recommend it to everyone, really, but especially to those who have survived atrocities committed against them.
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 5:36 pm
I agree with Mr. G. Forgiveness is partially for the victim and partially for the victimizer. Sometimes, there are people who hurt us, and maybe they want our forgiveness but they never see us again and then can never ask. Maybe they don't care either way if we forgive. But no matter where they stand, if we are wronged it's best to forigive just so that we can move on with our lives.
I've harbored a lot of anger towards people who wronged me. Sometimes they didn't care how I felt, either. I learned that forgiveness isn't an immediate or even one time thing. Sometimes, I think about those moments or those people and the anger comes back, and I have to forgive them again.
There have been times when I've hurt people. I've looked back at my behavior in retrospect and realize I could have been more caring, more respectful, or less presumptuous. And those people, I have never seen again to apologize. I don't even know if they've forgiven me or if they're still harboring resentment towards me.
As a Christian I would pray that I don't hold anything against someone that God doesn't hold against them, and pray the same for myself. Since I've been transgressor and transgressed, I know how sucky both of those positions feel.
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 5:53 pm
There is a difference between forgiving and trusting somebody. You can forgive somebody yet no longer want to be around that person because you no longer trust them.
Anyway didn't Jesus say to forgive 70 x 7?
ps. ((no he is not literally talking about 490 times or even the fact that it is a big number! The number 7 at that time meant completeness so yeah that's what it really means. probably common knowledge but I felt like saying it anyway.)))
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 3:53 am
Forgiveness is more for yourself than the person you're forgiving. And even if the offender doesn't deserve it, or isn't even repentant, you should still forgive like the Lord says you should. You can't commit a sin in a world where God sees and judges everything you do and get off completely scott free. Even if it looks like someone never received proper punishment one of two things will happen. Either this person who is probably not saved will pay for it in eternity, or they can accept Jesus and repent. But I think everyone pays for their sins in some way even if we don't make the connection. But regardless it's a sin itself to refuse to forgive. Or else how can you teach someone else about Christ's forgiveness? I believe that even murder can be forgiven by Christ if the perpetrator repents wholeheartedly. And God may be understanding if you need time to forgive someone for what they may have done to you.
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Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:51 pm
My hope is, in you Lord... "Romans 5:3-5"
There is no way anyone can sin against me in an unforgivable way or my sin against them.
All sin is forgivable if we only learn to forgive as God forgives.
Forgiveness is never for the other person, it is for yourself. If you harbor unforgiveness in your heart, you are bound by those chains, not the offender. We, as children of the most high, are called to first accept the forgiveness that has been given to us by the work of the cross, then forgive others for their wrongs against us, and then ask others to forgive us for our sins against them.
It took me a long time to learn how to forgive the man who molested me as a child, but I did it, and now I can free pray for that person and wish the best for their life. I am working on that with my ex husband. I harbor a lot of anger and resentment toward him and that hurts me, not him, and not only that, it hurts my daughter when I am unable to show Jesus' love toward him.
...I won't be shaken by drought or storm "Psalm 62:6"
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