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 Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 2:51 am
Ariane had walked Jude to his room, stopping in front of the door. She would have brought him to her room instead, but her room wasn't exactly hers alone; she had been too lazy to rebuild hers ever since it got destroyed a second time... Damn that dragon insanity thing.
Actually, damn insanity.
"So," She stared at the doorknob, and then up at her fellow Death hunter as she withdrew her arm from his shoulder, "Bix is dead. And that girl... Ceres?" She shifted the weapons tablet from under one arm to another, almost expecting Kintama to say something to her. Call her ghouly again... The part of her mind that he used to "occupy" felt strangely quiet.
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 3:00 am
He didn't even go to turn the knob yet his face was still hidden away from the world by his cowl, the knuckles of his hand had turned white from gripping his tablet so hard that he was almost certain it would crumble in his grasp if he held any tighter but he couldn't bring himself to let go.
Ariane's voice startled him out of his brooding moment and his head tilted toward her, "Mmm, yes," he said softly his brow furrowing a bit, unseen thanks to the cowl.
"...There anything we could have done to save them, anything at all?" He asked softly. Should have defended Ceres, too? Should he have run to save Bix? Suddenly after all was said and done there was guilt inside his heart.
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 3:10 am
"We defended Ceres, but..." Ariane sighed, looking away; they were reprimanded by Caelius, and although what he said made sense, she couldn't bring herself to believe in his point of view of what being a hunter meant. Sure, she was sure that everyone on the island - including Caelius himself - had given up something to be here, but there should be no shame in doing what seemed morally right... Right?
If Kintama was still around, he would probably be laughing at her for thinking "morally".
"And we tried the vial of liquid... But there wasn't anything we could do to bring them back," She continued quietly, "I don't think we'll ever know..."
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 3:16 am
His expression became thoughtful for a moment as he finally pushed back the hood. He'd been crying a little so apparently that is why he was hiding in his cowl, "No we won't. So, we should just make our peace and move on," he said softly though he didn't sound too convinced, he moved the tablet about to tuck it under his arm so he could open the door to his room finally so they could go in.
"...Ariane, you going to be okay?" He asked quietly, he seemed more worried for her through all this she seemed to be dealing well but not as well as she could have been.
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 3:53 am
In any other situation, Ariane would probably have made fun of Jude for crying, but this... Was not the time for such things.
"That's easier said than done though," She replied with another sigh, her grip on the weapons tablet tightening slightly. His question caused her to pause, going completely silent for a while before she eventually nodded, sounding more determined than confident as she replied, "I will be... Eventually. That's how these things are, right?"
She had gone through the stages of grief before, after all... And she came out fine.
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 10:59 pm
It was probably a good thing that Ariane hadn't teased him right then over the tears he'd spilt over everything that had happened.
After he opened the door he wandered through wiping his hand over his face, he absentmindedly laid Yom's tablet upon the foot of his bed with just a gentle pat at the surface before he turned toward Ariane so he could answer her, "I guess so...We are pretty much like soldiers and pawns, we just go in because we have 'orders' to do so," he said quietly. It was hard to make himself think that he was worth more than a pawn or a life to throw away for a greater purpose, or even worse that he meant less than that...
"I don't want to believe it." He said finally.
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 1:54 am
"I go in because I believe that we're fighting for something... You know, like saving the world or something like that," Ariane replied, sighing softly as she followed Jude into the room, putting Kintama's tablet down beside Yom's, "To be honest, I'm starting to wonder what they something is..."
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:00 am
Jude gave a soft 'mmm' in response as he moved to sit down on the edge of his bed a little further up from the tablets and he just slouched there resting his arms over his knees as he stared down at the ground before he suddenly just reached up and undid the cowl and threw it over at his closet with no gentleness to the action at all.
He hated this. He hated losing people.
"Feel so damned useless." He muttered softly, "I went...into this to protect someone and to try to do something with my life..."
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:32 am
"I think most of us did," Ariane muttered, sitting down beside Jude, looking at the ground instead of at him, "I don't think that most people would just up and leave their life, unless there's something better they're after... I just feel like we lost track of what we're really fighting for after a while. It became almost like a routine sometimes..."
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:37 am
He nodded a little in agreement. Jude closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands and just kept them there for a while trying to figure out what to say or do now.
It felt like they had this conversation before but it was different - the circumstances were different.
"What would you want to fight for? What would make it worthwhile for you to not give up?" He asked after he removed his hands from his face.
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:43 am
"I don't know," Ariane admitted with a light shrug, going quiet as she mused over the question; the initial reason she came here was to escape her insignificant, boring life... However, while being a hunter wasn't boring, being a trainee was pretty insignificant; even a full-fledged hunter - like Bix, although he was only recently promoted - couldn't do anything to stop his own death, or the death of a comrade.
"Maybe I need to work for that promotion," She sighed, "Maybe things will get clearer then... And you, Judy?"
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:47 am
"Maybe. Maybe I should do the same," he shrugged a little bit feeling at a loss.
He shifted his shoulders uneasily as he shrugged off his coat now discarding it off onto the floor before he just lay back on his bed, his eyes now staring at the ceiling, "I mostly joined because I was running away. I didn't even have plans for college so I would have been just as much a drifter out there as I am here. At least this way I don't get into drugs or something, I guess. Not really a good motivator to keep fighting..."
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:51 am
"Do you regret coming here?" Ariane asked, turning to look at Jude, "Do you regret agreeing to take the test to become a hunter?"
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:55 am
He actually had to think about that as he glanced at Ariane and stared back up at the ceiling then eventually he shook his head, "No. I don't regret it. That means I would regret meeting you," he said simply. "I wouldn't have met people like Bix or Jerry...It's a mixed blessing I guess, but I don't regret it..."
"I'm...happy because I am not as ...alone as I used to be but lost because I don't know what the hell I am doing anymore," he explained himself a bit more clearly.
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 3:05 am
"Hey, I don't regret meeting you either," Ariane chuckled, lightly punching Jude on his arm, "Or the other people that I've met so far." Met. Not really grow close to, because it was almost an instinct to keep people at a certain distance, except for a selected few.
"I guess we're all just running around, trying to protect something that is too big for us to protect," She continued, "Although... When we formed that little defensive ring around Ceres, we managed to build up enough defense to stop people coming in. I suppose that's commendable enough, even though according to Caelius, we weren't doing it for a good cause."
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