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[Q] Terry Hyatt // Erebus Page of Saturn [crits?]

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Natsuko-neko

Unstoppable OTP

PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 8:18 pm


Notes to self:
Won Erebus 12/15 in gold custom
Changed Styx to Erebus 12/15


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 8:19 pm


User Image
Name: Terry Blair Hyatt

Nickname: Ter

Age: 20

Birthday: Dec. 27th

Sign: Capricorn

Gemstone:  Tanzanite

Blood Type: O

Fav. Food: Cajun chicken

Hated Food: Oranges (though it's really any citrus as he is mildly allergic)

School: Destiny City University
He is working to get a degree in game programming.

Hobbies:

Video games - He is a bit addicted to video games. His Father started it when he was younger by taking him to arcades and it has slowly grown with him ever since. A good portion of his time spent in his apartment is playing games on either his ps3 or on his desktop, his favorite types being RPG's. He does play a few online games but the only big MMO he played is DCU: Online, and he has a few friends to play multiplayer games with him.

Game programming - While yes he is planning on going into the gaming industry as a career, it started as a hobby. He usually sets aside Sat. and Sun. nights to play around with little, simple games he has created over time and slowly add more complexity to them.

Skating - Terry's mother introduced him to roller skating when he was six and then ice skating when he was ten. She set up a habit to go to roller rinks or ice rinks once a week or once every two weeks as a way to keep him active. While his roller skates changed to roller blades by the age of twelve, not much else has changed. He skates to school from his apartment and goes to rinks on Sundays.

Virtues:

Resourceful -- He tends to stay calm and collected in most situations. Terry is able to think on his feet and come up with solutions to problems he runs into. His sharp eye and quick wit mean he can catch things that not everyone see right away and peice them together quickly. Very few things disrupt his calm state where to him time seems to slow down a bit if he's solving a puzzle, though of course he knows it's all in his head. Terry can double as a MacGyver when the situation calls for it. The most notable exception to his quick mind and easy problem solving is when he is extremely surprised or when his physical/emotional boundaries are being pushed at unwantedly.

Upholds Oaths -- Terry takes his promises very seriously. He was raised with the motto of "To brake an oath is to brake trust." and it is obvious he took it to heart. If he makes a promise of any kind then he will keep it to the letter. He has learned that some situations are out of his control though and if something gets in his way for keeping a promise then he will make it up to the person as promptly as possible.

He also makes sure to think over the promise before he agrees to it as it wouldn't do to make a promise the conflicted with another, with a known time issue, or if it went against his morals.


Flaws:

Holds himself back from others -- Terry distances himself from most people both emotionally and physically. Emotionally he doesn't let very many in, holds back on letting others know his thoughts that are personal and feelings that aren't vague. Physically he has an aversion to touch and goes out of his way to keep a personal space bubble and to not let others within said space. In both ways there are exceptions such as close family and very, very close friends but it is hard to work your way into said categories as if it looks like you are pushing, Terry will actively start to drive the person away.

Gets lost in the job -- He has an issue with tearing himself away from what ever he is doing, also with distancing himself. This leads to nights with very little sleep since he stayed up late doing one thing or another. He also tends take it very personally if anyone interrupts him while he is busy, whether it is something important like with school work or if it is something only for pleasure such as games.

He will however leave himself reminders if there is a time sensitive promise that he needs to address.


PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Dark purple eyes, slightly narrowed

Hair: Short dark brown hair, has a dark purple streak that hangs down the right side of his face.

Face: Oval face, normal ears, slightly tanned skin.

Clothes: Long sleeved purple and gray striped shirt, blue jeans, dark gray sneakers.

Natsuko-neko

Unstoppable OTP


Natsuko-neko

Unstoppable OTP

PostPosted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 8:21 pm


User Image
Knight Title: Erebus Page

Challenge: "Protection is my oath."

Uniform:

Top -- Black vest with purple buttons, light purple trims and the planetary sign on Saturn on the top left in light purple. White long sleeved shirt underneath it.
Bottoms -- Black pants with light purple swirls that climb his legs.
Gloves -- Purple fingerless gloves
Belt -- Slim white belt
Shoes -- 3/4 length half black, half white boots with light purple laces.
Shoulders -- Just the shirt/vest
Accessories -- A small binocular charm and a small oar charm hanging from a chain on his belt.

Weapon
Page~
A small, thin boat oar made of dark colored wood.

Squire~
Larger boat oar, still wood but more sturdy with silver metal swirls that act as a reinforcement.
- Magic: Erebus dips his oar to the ground and taps it. It causes a purple ripple effect going out in a 5 ft. radius. When someone, friend or foe, touches the ripples they feel like their energy is being drained slowly, as if their very life was draining. As soon as they stop touching the ripples the person is fine again with no lasting effects. The total amount of time her can use his magic for is 30 seconds.

Knight~
Full sized boat oar made of dark silver metal with purple swirls on it and a Saturn symbol charm hanging from just under the oar head.
- Magic: Upgrade to his previous magic where the radius is now 10 ft. and it has a minor lasting effect. The longer someone touches the ripples, the longer they feel drained when they stop. For every two seconds touching they feel drained for one after but only if he is still channeling his magic after they move away as when he stops all effects stop. The total amount of time he can use his magic is boosted to 40 seconds.

Summon
Takes on the appearance of a large Cŵn Annwn with the normal white body and red tipped ears only it has a purple tipped tail.
~ The summon has boosted speed that it uses to rapidly bite opponents for as long as it is out. Provided the target can avoid the summon getting close enough to bite, they can avoid it though.
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 3:45 pm


Family


Notes for later.

Father: Nathan Michel Hyatt, age 43, construction manager

Mother: Julie Ann Hyatt, formally Lake, age 42, former pro ice skater

Natsuko-neko

Unstoppable OTP



Noir Songbird

Crew

Dramatic Senshi

18,325 Points
  • OTP 200
  • Hero 100
  • Magical Girl 50
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 3:56 pm



Hey Natsuko, congrats on winning your boy!

Unfortunately Styx is already taken as a Knight name (specifically as a Negaverse officer's past life identity), so you'll have to pick a different wonder :C

If you'd like to stick with the Greek underworld theme, some possibilities are Phlegethon, the River of Fire, or Erebus, which besides being a primoridial deity of night is also a region of the Greek underworld where the dead pass immediately after dying (sometimes simply a general name for the parts of Hades outside the pit of Tartarus).

Other underworlds are also possible, of course - here's a list by which mythology they're from!
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 6:26 pm


Die Fluegel der Freiheit


Thanks ouo

I don't mind changing him to Erebus. Do I need to change his magic to reflect the change as well?

Natsuko-neko

Unstoppable OTP



Noir Songbird

Crew

Dramatic Senshi

18,325 Points
  • OTP 200
  • Hero 100
  • Magical Girl 50
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 6:42 pm


Natsuko-neko

I hadn't actually looked at the magic, haha - but there doesn't have to be a direct tie between magic and Knight name/Wonder, magic just has to fit the planet themes! So if your magic/weapon was originally inspired by Styx, it's okay to keep it unless you want to change it :3
PostPosted: Sun Dec 15, 2013 6:53 pm


Die Fluegel der Freiheit


Alright, thank you ^u^ Everything has been changed to Erebus now.

Natsuko-neko

Unstoppable OTP



Noir Songbird

Crew

Dramatic Senshi

18,325 Points
  • OTP 200
  • Hero 100
  • Magical Girl 50
PostPosted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 10:34 am


Natsuko-neko


Hey Natsuko I am back and this time with official crit!

ON THE CIVILIAN SIDE:

For his gaming-related hobbies, does Terry ever game socially? Play MMOs with friends or have people over for multiplayer stuff or anything like that?

I'd like a little more elaboration on his "Resourceful" virtue - how does him being calm and collected help him solve things? Is it a clearheaded sort of thing? Is he good at noticing things around him that would be useful, but that other people might miss? Things like that!

On his "Holds himself back from others" flaw, I think you have a typo - you say he doesn't let "very any in," I think you mean "very many?" Not a big deal, but thought I'd point it out!

ON THE POWERED SIDE:

Erebus's weapon looks good; however, the way his Knight amgic is worded is a little confusing to me. Given the "extra time" they feel drained, would that continue after he stops channeling his magic? I.e. he channels for ten seconds and the person is inside the ripples the entire time, would they then feel drained for five seconds after he stops? If so, that unfortunately doesn't work - all magic effects end when channeling stops.

Also, Summons generally have a different power from the Knight. The idea is for them to provide something extra, and since Erebus's weapon and magic are both defense/status-based, his summon could have a more offense-oriented ability if you wanted!

Quote me once you've made changes and I will be back~
PostPosted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 3:33 pm


Die Fluegel der Freiheit


ouo Thanks for taking the time <3

He does play some online games and has a few friends who he plays multiplayers with from time to time.

It does help him stay clearheaded and notice things quicker. Hopefully the rewrite makes things sound better put together <3

Yes I did mean that, thanks for pointing it out <3

~*~

Ah, sorry I made it a bit confusing, it had been late when I wrote up his magic. I didn't mean to imply it lasts after he stops channeling, just only if they get out of the ripples while he is still channeling. Like if he just started and they were on them for 4 seconds then they would feel drained for two more seconds when they got away so long as he was still channeling his magic.

Thanks, I wasn't sure how to make it more offense oriented at first ouo Does that sound better?

Thank you for the crit <3

Natsuko-neko

Unstoppable OTP



Noir Songbird

Crew

Dramatic Senshi

18,325 Points
  • OTP 200
  • Hero 100
  • Magical Girl 50
PostPosted: Mon Jan 06, 2014 8:00 pm


Natsuko-neko


It all looks good to me! Have a trial stamp~

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A GM will be by soon with either further crit or a full stamp<3
PostPosted: Tue Jan 07, 2014 4:05 pm


Natsuko-neko


Hey, Natsuko! Congratulations on winning Erebus! His profile looks great (and so does he!) so I'm going to drop off a stamp! Have fun playing him!

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Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon

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