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 Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 7:02 pm
After leaving Candace's room, Gale had walked numbly back to his own house, feeling as though all of his limbs were made of lead. It was early; he had not wanted to linger, could not stay for long. Every breath he took hurt, as though he were drowning from the inside out, and there was no way for his head to break the surface of the churning black waters.
The little yellow building was deserted when he go there, which wasn't surprising. Most of the people who had taken up residence with him were either in different places now, especially after the fact that the place had been destroyed too many times to count now.
He thought of going straight up to sleep, and sleep for the next thousand years until the truth of what had just happened was reversed and when he woke Bix was still alive and so was Ceres and Jinhai was back where he was supposed to be.
The silence inside of his head was unbearable - and so was the house.
Gale stopped on the front steps, feeling his throat tighten. He remembered walking across this doorway, remembered Bix shouting "Surprise!" at him, helping him to carry boxes across the threshold, asking if there were any snacks to be had, throwing a bag of chips at Before's head. He remembered the slap on the back, the genuine expression of congratulations at his promotion, the wide smile, the cheeky comments.
He remembered everything when he wanted to remember nothing.
Slowly he drew his hand away from the handle and swallowed hard, feeling as though something heavy were pressing down on his shoulders, an enormous black cloud of grief and pain that would never go away. He sank down to his knees, losing the strength to stand, and lifted his arms, pressing his fists against the closed door, his teeth gritted together in an effort to keep the tears at bay.
He did not want to be here anymore.
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 8:34 pm
Eva couldn't remember the last time had ever been this exhausted. Physically, every muscle in her body seemed to ache, especially the ones in her legs from all the running around she had done during that battle. And mentally...
She had left shortly after Gale had safely been brought to Candace's room. Her plan had been to return to her own room and pass out for a few hours, but no matter what she tried, she had been unable to fall asleep. It wasn't as if her mind was in a turmoil over what had happened either--on the contrary, it had been completely blank, devoid of any real thoughts or emotions, even as she lay on her side and clutched Chara's tablet to her chest.
And so, Eva had spent the next few hours staring emptily at the wall, exhausted but unable to to sleep. She rose only when the first rays of light began to peek in from her window deciding to head to the cafeteria before dropping by to check up on Gale.
It took her a bit of effort to shove away the fact that the first thing she usually did upon waking up was get ready to train with Chara.
When it became clear that the blond had probably head back to his own house, she had hesitated for a minute before deciding to go and see him. Perhaps he just wanted to be alone right now, but Eva couldn't shake the desire to see him right now, if only so that she could see him for a second to see how he was doing.
The plastic bag in her hand swung back and forth as she made her way down the path to Gale's house, her other arm still wrapped around the tablet that she couldn't bear to let out of her sight. As she got closer, she noticed a familiar figure collapsed in front of a door. Quickening her pace, she made her way over to where the boy was, hesitating for a second before dropping to her knees beside him. Carefully setting Chara's tablet in her lap, she reached over to pull him into a hug.
After holding him for a good while, she drew back slightly, just far enough so that she could motion towards the plastic bag that she had been carrying with her. "Have you eaten yet? It's just stuff from the cafeteria really, but..."
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2012 10:57 pm
He wanted Jinhai back. He wanted to be able to hear the dragon's voice in his head, listen to the words of comfort that he would undoubtedly offer, the soft reassurances and the lighthearted teasing to make him feel better.
But there was nothing. Nothing but a stifling, oppressive silence that stretched throughout the corners of his mind, engulfing his thoughts and turning everything into a suffocating blackness that threatened to consume him. The silence made it easier for thoughts of Bix to come back, and right now Gale could not quite handle thinking of Bix.
Thinking of Bix hurt too much.
He did not know how long he stayed there, fists pressed against the door of his house before he felt a hand on his shoulder. Gale had not even heard the footsteps, and at first he flinched, jerking his hand away automatically until he realized who it was.
"...Eva - " he started to say, but she had already wrapped her arms around him, and Gale leaned into the hug, his eyes glittering, trying not to let the tears fall again. He felt as though he had been crying for decades, for centuries.
She pulled away, and Gale exhaled slowly, eyes flickering towards the bag she had with her. Truth be told, he hadn't even thought about food in the past twenty four hours at least, most likely longer, and he was not sure if he was hungry or nauseated or both.
"...not yet," he admitted quietly, his voice hoarse. "I haven't...haven't...had time."
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 12:40 pm
They knew. They always knew coming into this that people would die, that during every mission, there was always the possibility that they would lose friends, loved ones, or their own lives. However, simple acknowledgement was never enough—even though they knew and, in some cases, expected loss, accepting it was a whole different matter.
Especially when the one lost was a best friend.
She reached out, first to gently brush any stray strands of hair out of the boy’s face, and then to hook her hand beneath one of his arms. Gathering the tablet and the bag in her other hand, Eva carefully began to stand up, trying to pull Gale up to his feet with her. ”I haven’t eaten yet either,” She admitted quietly, the corners of her lips tilting upwards in a weak smile, "Want to eat together? I brought some sandwiches."
While Eva had genuinely just come by to check up on Gale, she now realized that her sudden desire for company was probably a contributing factor to her visit. It felt lonely without having Chara sharing her mindspace with her, and even if only few a few minutes or an hour, a part of the girl was desperate to cling onto any chance of spending time with a friend that she could.
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2012 9:09 am
They knew, and yet knowing had not been the same thing as seeing. Knowing had not been the same thing as reality, as feeling, as watching the ones you loved being torn away from you in the blink of an eye.
And accepting it was an entirely different story altogether.
Eva's hand felt gentle on his face, and Gale closed his eyes briefly, just letting the world around him dissolve until there was nothing else other than two of them. His feelings for Eva may have been one thing, but right now he was not even thinking about. His only thoughts were that there was someone here who still cared about him enough to stay with him.
He let her pull him to his feet, but he didn't let go of her hand just yet. "I...can try to eat," said Gale quietly as he reached for his keys and unlocked the front door with fumbling gestures, his fingers shaking. He finally got the key into the lock and pushed open the door.
After a moment's hesitation, he stepped over the threshold and into the house, pulling Eva with him.
"...how, um..." he swallowed hard, trying to get the words out, but they sounded awkward and uncertain to him. "...how are you..doing?"
A stupid question, but he did not want to talk of Bix.
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Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 9:00 pm
If there was a worst time for anyone to be alone, now was probably it. She was happy to keep her fingers curled around his, simultaneously trying to reassure Gale that he was not alone while reassuring herself that she wasn't alone either. Although the girl did not like to consider herself as a clingy person, it always warmed her heart when she knew that someone was nearby who cared.
She gave his hand a light squeeze when she noticed him shaking, but said nothing, docilely following him into the house. It had been quite a while since she had last visited. There was the time where she had to camp out here after her room had been destroyed, and before then, it was the house party where--
--...
Thinking back on it, those happy times seemed like decades ago. Turning to look at the blond, she lifted her brows at his question, but let out a quiet laugh. "I'm...tired," She answered truthfully, certain that the exhaustion probably showed on her face, "I couldn't get to sleep at all, so..."
Trailing off, she shook her head, leaning her head to the side and gently resting it against his for a moment. "Did you manage to snatch a few hours, at least?"
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Posted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 4:50 pm
He stood there momentarily, letting Eva rest her head against his and let the silence fill the air around them. Eva was one of the few people who he didn't have to look up to see, considering she was about a half an inch shorter than he was, and she was comfortable. She was real, she was normal, she was still here.
"I slept maybe one or two hours," said Gale, and gestured towards the couch, where she could sit down. He curled up beside her, drawing his legs up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, chin resting on his knees as he stared out at the mostly empty living room. He hadn't gotten around to decorating much; Bix and Molly had been the ones to suggest doing something more with the place, and now he was not quite sure he could bring himself to do it.
He exhaled slowly, closing his eyes briefly. Then he turned his head to the side to look at Eva.
"Eva, I just..." he trailed off, swallowed, and started again.
"I just want to let you know...that I'm really happy...that you - that you're not..."
He couldn't finish the sentence, his eyes stinging.
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 11:21 am
Only an hour or two, hmm? She couldn't say that she was surprised--frankly, she didn't think anyone would have gotten a full night's sleep--but she was relieved to hear that Gale had gotten some rest at least, however brief. When he motioned to the couch, she moved to sit down, offering the boy a small smile as he curled up beside her.
Setting Chara down on the edge of the couch, Eva began to sift through the plastic bag that she had brought, pulling out sandwiches, apples, juice, and cookies. It wasn’t anything fancy—for all she knew, Gale probably had better food here in his house—but at the very least, it was a fairly balanced meal. As she turned to hand Gale one of the sandwiches, she was stopped by his voice.
She regarded him with both curiosity and concern as he stumbled over his words, but her expression slowly began to soften as she realized what it was he was trying to tell her. Putting the food between them on the couch, she leaned over and wrapped her arms around his shoulders again, giving him a firm but gentle squeeze.
”I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, Gale.” There was too much she had to do, and too many people to protect—if only for them, Eva would continue to cling on to this hellhole no matter what happened. That was why she had listened to Caelius up until now, after all.
Drawing back, she picked up one of the sandwiches again and held It out of him, the corners of her lips quirking upwards in a crooked smile. ”Now please eat so that I can sleep knowing you’re getting some nutrition in you.”
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Posted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 2:46 pm
As he felt Eva's arms wrap gently around him, he couldn't help but give a small, shuddering gasp, a half strangled sob of pain. Everything seemed to be converging all at once, and he couldn't move, couldn't think, couldn't breathe, his hands slowly curling into fists on the couch, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay.
"I mean it," he said, and grit his teeth together, closing his eyes. "I lost...I don't have Leslie. Not anymore. And now I've lost Bix."
Leaning back so that he could look at her, Gale pressed his lips together, the blackness swelling inside of his heart. "I love you," he said quietly. "And I don't mean...that way - well, I do, but I mean...not like that. You're important to me, regardless. I don't want to face losing another that's important to me. I can't."
He shook his head, looking down at the floor, but then a rustling noise caught his attention, and he saw the sandwich Eva was offering him, and raised his eyes, his cheeks reddening slightly. But then his shoulders relaxed, some of the tension in them easing, and silently he took the sandwich, unwrapping it slowly and taking a bite.
Thankfully, it did not make him nauseated, as he had thought it would, and after a moment of chewing, he said softly,
"Thanks, Eva."
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:29 pm
She held him for a while, her head set on his shoulder as she listened to him speak. Eva didn't always know what to say, but one thing she was good at was providing a listening ear and a constant, comforting presence. When he drew back slightly, she turned to look at him, her expression soft until a small, faint smile curled on her lips. Leaning forward, she pressed her lips against his cheek in a chaste kiss.
"I'm here, Gale. I'm here, and if I can help it, I will be here for a long time to come." Perhaps living out one's life at Deus Ex was not the ideal, but at least being here meant that they were alive--it really was hell sometimes, but they were still here, breathing, eating, living, and as long as she still had people she cared about here, Eva was continue to fight for her life.
"Just promise me...promise me that you won't go anywhere either."
She managed to utter those words quietly before turning her attention to the sandwiches, unwrapping her own with a little rustle. She hadn't even realized how hungry she was until she took the first bite. It wasn't a gourmet meal to be sure, but considering how she hadn't eaten anything for ages...
Her blue eyes flickered towards Gale then, and she smiled, leaning over to bump her shoulder lightly against his. "Anytime, Gale." And she really meant it.
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:53 pm
His cheeks flushed a little at the kiss, but less so than they normally would have. He was not quite as easily embarrassed as he would have been, perhaps because this was the first time he felt as though he were truly capable of loving Eva and moving on from her at the same time. Perhaps now, he would be able to provide for her without the unnecessary stress of his feelings.
"Good," said Gale softly, and turned his head, returning her kiss with one of his own, very light and gentle against her cheek. He turned away rather quickly, eyes flickering, but then leaned his head against hers momentarily and it felt comfortable. Normal.
Something sane in a world filled with chaos and confusion.
"I won't go anywhere either," he said, and gave her a look, his expression softening. "I promised...Bix..." His voice broke only a little this time. "That I would...stop being so serious all the time. That I'd live my life the way it should be lived."
He took another bite of the sandwich and looked around the little house. He had once been so proud of this house. Working so long and so hard for it had made him feel as though all of his efforts had finally paid off. But now, as he looked at it, it was almost a little sad, quiet, uncertain.
"Eva," he said. "Would you maybe...help me redecorate this place?"
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 10:48 pm
Although it may have not been of the romantic variety, there was no doubt in Eva's mind that she did love Gale. There were plenty of people who she cared about at Deus Ex--plenty of people who she would cry over and mourn if they were to die--but Gale was among the select few whose deaths would truly break her. Sometimes, especially after a particularly terrible mission, Eva would wonder if things would have just been easier had she forced herself to keep her distance from everyone from the beginning.
But then she would always realize what a terribly lonely life that would have been.
She smiled at Gale's reassurance, the exhaustion that had been on her face giving way to a gentle peacefulness. She took another bite of her sandwich while listening to him, her gaze flickering to fall on him after she swallowed. "I know that you promised Bix, but...make sure to promise that to yourself as well. Living life as it should be lived...that's something that you should be striving for for yourself, right?" There was a pause, and then she quietly added, "For both of you."
She reached over then to set a juice box on the boy's lap, momentarily putting her sandwich down so that she could poke her straw through her own box and take a sip. She paused to turn and look at Gale, furrowing her brows inquisitively at his request.
"...Redecorate?" She echoed, tilting her head. There was a short pause as she swept her gaze over their surroundings, and then she simply nodded, turning back to offer him a small smile. "Of course. You know that I'm always willing to give you a hand."
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Posted: Fri Nov 02, 2012 8:36 am
For the first time since the death of Bix, Gale felt...comfortable. His chest still hurt, and his head and his heart, and sometimes if he stopped to think about it long enough (more than a few seconds, usually) he felt as though he were drowning. But Eva was here, and she was real and she was alive and she was not going anywhere.
His gaze flickered towards her, chewing absently before he swallowed, giving her what might have passed for a smile, the smallest upturning of his lips as he said, "Maybe. I'm not usually good at doing anything for myself, though. Or rather, I'm not good at keeping promises made to myself."
He remembered his promise to Leslie and how that had shattered already.
Picking up the juice box, Gale eyed it a little skeptically, but then pulled it towards him, sticking the straw in and taking a sip. It tasted like sugar and water, but not too bad, and for a few moments they ate in silence.
"Yeah," he said, and glanced around the house, noting Eva's slightly surprised expression. "You know, I...I worked really hard for this house. I fought for it, I rebuilt it from the ground up - twice. I made sure that I was the first of my division to be promoted to full hunter. I worked as hard as I could to prove myself, that I wasn't just a kid, that I could do it just as well as everyone else has.
"But I haven't done much with it. It's just...plain. It's simple, and I like simple, but I need to start taking better care of it."
He tilted his head back, staring absently up at the ceiling.
"Maybe that way I'll be able to take care of myself as well."
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Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2012 9:30 am
She chewed on her juice box straw, head tilted as she eyed him thoughtfully for a few seconds. Then, smiling, she reached out to pat his knee. "If it helps, doing things for yourself to stay safe, happy, and sleeping at night will help me sleep at night." And indeed, seeing Gale much more relaxed than he had been yesterday brought a sense of comfort to Eva as well. Maybe she'd be able to get some sleep soon after all.
...If she could prevent herself from giving up and passing out here first, that was.
She smiled as Gale spoke, turning to survey her surroundings once again. He was right--he had done a hell of a lot of work and had put in a lot of dedication to get to where he was, and she was proud of him for his accomplishments. Age be damned, he had proven himself a lot of capable than a lot of people who were older.
And this house...he must have been pretty proud of it. "I can't say that I'm great at interior design," The girl laughed, her lips spread into a grin, "But I'm definitely willing to help, especially if it encourages you to think of yourself every now and then." She finished off her sandwich and then sighed, though she was still smiling. That fatigue was really starting to get to her now, but being relaxed and not alone was a nice feeling.
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Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 8:09 pm
It was not easy. It would never be easy, but at least, for right now, it was getting easier to understand that. Gale looked over at Eva, and his expression was soft, something akin to gratitude in his eyes as he leaned against her, putting his head on her shoulder.
"Good," he said, closing his eyes briefly, feeling the weariness of everything sinking into his bones, into his thoughts, into anything and everything. Sitting here was comfortable; it was warm and real and quiet and it was not a distraction, but a necessity, something he could rely on to stay constant.
Bix was gone, but Eva was not. There were others that cared about him, others that he cared about. The world felt like it had ended, but it had not, not really.
The world was still moving. Gale yawned, curling his knees up to his chest, and rubbing at his eyes.
"It's a plan, then."
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