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The footsteps gave him something to concentrate on, if nothing else. A small helpful background noise to distract him from what was no longer there. Tenya's stone slab was held tightly in his hand from within his pocket.

Ami's first few words were not met with much reaction. His eyes were still downcast, his thoughts his own. ".......I don't like talking." Even if he did, he didn't know how to do anything beyond inner analyze. He was always so used to keeping everything to himself. Even before Tenya, his thoughts remained his own. With her now gone, no inner voice to share his worries with another.. How did he translate that into spoken words? He wasn't so sure it would help. He didn't even know where to begin. How did this even make him feel other than empty and lost.

Those were his private worries. His own. To share such raw and sensitive things with anyone was uncomfortable and alien. He kept to his mantra; deal with it, and move forward. Leave what was past behind. Or at least try. For now.. he needed to grieve his own way. That usually involved holing himself up all alone somewhere.

He didn't need anyone... He was fine by himself.

Otto's eyes fell on Ami as she spoke up again. He was slightly annoyed she chose to talk anyway. Slightly. There was some understanding and sympathy with what she spoke of. He'd been in that Hell too, after all. He didn't know she'd lost her weapon at all, let alone when it had happened.

And there was what he had to look forward to. He'd already trained a lot before Tenya died. To think he had to step it up some more was enough to put him in a foul mood. What was he even fighting for anymore? The only thing that kept him going now was knowing the Horsemen still existed.

"Never damn well said it was the end." Otto sassed back with a glare. "Just cause I ain't preachin' bout hope ain't mean I given up."

He huffed, holding his arms as if there was a chill he couldn't shake off. "Just cause I don't b***h about my feelings aloud makes me some kinda quitter? I never liked talkin' and that ain't changed."

The teen seemed riled up, his face turning a slight shade of red. He continued walking, making it easier to hide the shaking. "Pissin' n' moanin won't bring Tenya back.. After the dust settles I'll figure somethin' out.. the fight ain't over."

"Whatever.." Otto mumbled, keeping his arms crossed as he walked. His pace slowed as she seemed to stop, then turning around to face her.

"If you don't want me givin' up then set an example or sumthin." Otto mumbled, narrowing his gaze at her sulking form. "See? Yer givin' up again." Did he give a s**t about her? Kind of but no. Maybe a little. A teeny tiny bit. Maybe.

"So what? Gunna stand out here and cry cause you think ******** up?"

Tenya was still not there. No nagging to play nice with the girls. Yeah.. he could be as mean as he wanted now, right?

"S'whatever, girly. I ain't got time for you neither then. I don't keep quitters as friends."

Otto sneered, watching the girl as she had her outburst. For the first while he seemed irritated at most. So what he was making someone angry? He used to do it all the time. Before Deus he didn't care if he hurt someone's feelings.
Somewhere along the way that got harder to do. Seeing people hurt because of him hurt more than it used to. Where in the past he could walk away without so much as a tinge of guilt, he now felt compelled to stay and see it resolved.

Something that stabbed at him was her theory. He often disliked it when they hit the nail on the head like that. That was exactly why he was the way he was. He didn't know how to deal with people, so he shoved them all away when he could.

"Says the dumbass chic tryin' to get rid of me now." He snapped back, his nose scrunched up as he scowled. "So what? Yer right. Everyone leaves in the end, right? So why ********' bother?"

Was that sarcasm?

"I like being alone, and keepin' people away comes easier than keepin 'm close." His head drifted down some. "I'll get rid'of whoever I want." Bix and Ceres flashed in his mind again. Even Caelius's horrifying death pierced his mind. Tenya's scream. Getting close meant pain to the heart. So why was it worth it? Why was it sought after?

"We have it right anyway.. bein' alone is smarter.. We're all gunna die anyway. One way or another. I just want it to be worth it in the end.."

NO.

Otto's flinched at Ami's sudden passionate outburst. His body language clearly defensive, his eyes seeming to show more semblance of something other than cold reality.

He hadn't been thinking of others when he'd said those things. Ami was right. He wasn't used to it, was all. Having so many people genuinely care about him. If he closed himself off, it would hurt them. And for one reason or another, he did give a s**t about them. Deep down he cared a lot what they felt about him, thought about him and did for him. His troubles after the Horsemen's lair had truly shown him who was there for him, even long afterward.

Otto's posture slackened, his tense shoulders sagging ever slightly, white knuckles returned to a more natural pink. "..Sorry." He murmured softly, his eyes averting from the tear stained cheeks of the girl in front of him. "I'm.. sorry. I didn't mean that.."

His foot scuffed against the ground as he fidgeted.

"But I gotta say.. if there are so many people who like me.. then I can't be the only one you got.."

Someone who died? That could be damn near anyone. So many bodies in so little time, really.

Still, Ami's sad smile managed to even tug at Otto's heartstrings. He walked along with her again at her urging. He'd keep her company, for a time. He still wanted to be alone. Or that's what he thought, anyway.

".. whatever. I'll deal with it." He mumbled back to her. The southern boy shifted his shoulders as he shoved his hands into his pockets. His fingers traced the edges of the stone tablet buried within, a sadness and emptiness worming back into his thoughts.

Tenya.

Nothing.

He kind of wanted to cry still. But he wouldn't. It was a rare thing for Otto to break down in front of others. The last he'd done it was the result of an illusion the insanity dealt upon him. Dakota, Eva, Wilson and others had been witness to that. This though, was different. Not madness that tugged but grief. Grief for a loss. He'd not had someone he loved die in a very long time.

He let out a long breath, as if he'd just realized he'd been holding it.

"Rain check. Dakota still owes me a drum set." Otto 'joked' back. "Then I'll give yeah yer 3am wake up call all over again." He didn't even try to smirk or be any sort of playful. Drums did sound like a great way to vent right about now. But he'd not had his set since... since...

He couldn't remember anymore.

"Yeah.." He murmured back, his hand grazing the door handle. His head turned down slightly to the hand on his arm. No. If he dragged on any longer he really would break down in front of her. Was that so bad though? Crying and getting comfort back? Clerise, Eva and Candace had all accepted some semblance of weakness, and while at times awkward, it felt good. Though he had a sneaking suspicion girls just saw him as a little kid throwing tantrums. That just made him want to man up and tell Ami to shove off. Because that was a whole other can of worms that played on his insecurities.

Otto's eyes shut, and he gently rested his forehead against the door. He could deny all he wanted, brag that he could move on and look to the future. But the pain of the past and present was glaring and immediate.

Wall breaking.

His eyes squeezed shut even tighter still. His head shook. He couldn't hold his hurt in much longer, as the strength to deny his pain became weaker.