It was dark inside. It was clean and straight without even a dish in the sink. His comic shelves were organized alphabetically and by publishing company. Novels, bestiaries and artbooks were set aside on their own and a sparse assembly of action figures guarded the collection.
It smelled vaguely of men's deodorant and the shower, stronger when you got close to the bathroom and bedroom. The only things out of place were a pair of girl's flip flops flung onto the floor and a few hair rubber bands with black hairs sticking out of them which hung off of a door knob. The only signs of life besides his own.
On Bix's anally organized desk, in his sparsely decorated living room, a note sits with a pen haphazardly tossed beside it. It sits in front of a photo of his family, a photobooth strip of him and Molly pinned into the wood, and an empty bag of cheetos with orange thumb smudges over the edges of the paper.
Quote:
I feel really stupid and maybe this is morbid, but when you spend a lot of time by yourself, things like this happen.
My name is Ferdinand Wilkins Jr. but here at Deus I go by Bix. I'm 22 years old and I recently got promoted to be an official Sun Division hunter.
Whoever is reading this probably already knows that, since I'm going to leave this note on my desk, but I figured the formality is necessary. Some recent events got me thinking about mortality and what I'm leaving behind besides a dorm room full of comic books. Someone cared enough at some point, a relative of mine, to write a letter as well. Someone with an F initial.. someone that wanted to pass a message along. I may have only been given a sliver of the letter but it gave me the idea to write my own. So now I decided that before every mission, given enough warning, that I will write a letter. If I live.. it'll get trashed. If I die.. well that's my legacy. Lame.. yeah probably. Morbid? Well what about our job isn't morbid? The letter will probably always change but.. maybe it'll help me to put everything into perspective.
So thank you, F, whoever you were. You could have been my dad. You could have been my granddad. I really don't know. From what you sent me, what small sliver was given to me, you seemed like a stand up guy and if you were any kind of leader than you must have been a good hunter.
It's getting nearer to Halloween and that means things get worse. Things get crazy and screwed up and we don't even get to wear costumes and eat candy. Ya know.. I wish they would have told me that before I signed up. I wish just one more time I could've dressed up (Maybe like green arrow? Hawkeye?) and maybe Ceres would go with me in some sexy lady hero costume. Or maybe Gale would finally dress like Gimli... HA! That'll be the day.
So it's close to Halloween and every mission gets more serious and every text is a dire one, a rush. So I'm on my way to meet up for briefing. I didn't go to Halloween's festival this year but this has to have something to do with it. I wonder if everyone is alright? All I have here are my friends. Material things mean nothing. As a hunter all I can rely on are those around me. I know I have said I would give my life for them, and I've jumped in front of fire and practically died for them in the past, so whoever is reading this please pass along my messages and I hope, truly hope, that they didn't bite the dust with me.
Gale - Lighten up. Don't rage. Don't ruin your youth with broodiness and anger. You're an amazing man.. yeah a man. You've got resolve and discipline and strength that a lot of us don't have. I could have never made the choice to come here at your age. You have promise. Also.. use your british accent to get some chicks already. JEEZUS. Please keep my LotR books. And figures. Take care of them.
Before - Don't stop being you. You're my bro forever. I know sometimes it's hard to keep on a smile but please protect people for me. Tori and Ceres and Tika and even Boss. The girls need a rock to lean on, even if they don't act like it. I know you can do it. You're stronger than you think.
Ariane - I feel like we've gotten a little closer recently but you were one of my first friends, even if you scared me. Keep on butt grabbing. Get yourself a good man. No woman is an island. Let someone in. Oh and Mina says some dirty things to Kintama... but I'm totally not writing that down.
I don't want to write an exposition to every single person in Deus but these guys are my first friends. Betas forever. I'll never forget the ties we made so long ago, ages it seemed, and I'm glad we made it all this way together.
Ceres gets her own section. I wouldn't even be writing this if it weren't for her. She encouraged me to pursue things I'd given up on, to look more into mysteries I was too lazy to work on. Even if I haven't bothered pursuing it yet, she forced me to take another look at things.
Ceres, I hope I'm not dead. Cause if I'm not that means I'll eventually tell you how I feel. Eventually. I'd hate for you to find out like this and I think you'd be soooo pissed to read it in a letter. The truth is that I'm a coward. I'm afraid to ruin our friendship and I'm afraid you don't think of me like that.
You're amazing. You're beautiful. You're the moon to my sun. You're my best friend. You were just the cool tough chick.. and then you were the girl I wanted to hang around all the time.. and then you turned into the girl I needed for sanity, who made me worry and pace when you went on a mission and were late getting back. I haven't even told you yet and so I won't use a word like love. I'm not even sure how much I believe in love after coming to this place, but maybe eventually I'll at least admit a crush to you and see where it goes.
It's a good thing I'm positive I'll come back alive.. because then you won't read my stupid gushy admittance. I feel stupid even writing this now. I don't even know how to end it so umm.. you can have all my comic books.
PLEASE DON'T GIVE OUT MY s**t until you are positive I'm dead. Seriously. I'm crazy OCD about my stuff. Plus people are always disappearing and showing back up again. Do not touch a single Dorito until you find a body.
BURY ME NEXT TO MY BRAID.
Oh and remember.. I'm a midwestern kid given a magic weapon to fight monsters.. that's some crazy s**t right there. Maybe death is only the beginning? It was for all of us at some point.
Duty Calls.
LOL Doody.
My name is Ferdinand Wilkins Jr. but here at Deus I go by Bix. I'm 22 years old and I recently got promoted to be an official Sun Division hunter.
Whoever is reading this probably already knows that, since I'm going to leave this note on my desk, but I figured the formality is necessary. Some recent events got me thinking about mortality and what I'm leaving behind besides a dorm room full of comic books. Someone cared enough at some point, a relative of mine, to write a letter as well. Someone with an F initial.. someone that wanted to pass a message along. I may have only been given a sliver of the letter but it gave me the idea to write my own. So now I decided that before every mission, given enough warning, that I will write a letter. If I live.. it'll get trashed. If I die.. well that's my legacy. Lame.. yeah probably. Morbid? Well what about our job isn't morbid? The letter will probably always change but.. maybe it'll help me to put everything into perspective.
So thank you, F, whoever you were. You could have been my dad. You could have been my granddad. I really don't know. From what you sent me, what small sliver was given to me, you seemed like a stand up guy and if you were any kind of leader than you must have been a good hunter.
It's getting nearer to Halloween and that means things get worse. Things get crazy and screwed up and we don't even get to wear costumes and eat candy. Ya know.. I wish they would have told me that before I signed up. I wish just one more time I could've dressed up (Maybe like green arrow? Hawkeye?) and maybe Ceres would go with me in some sexy lady hero costume. Or maybe Gale would finally dress like Gimli... HA! That'll be the day.
So it's close to Halloween and every mission gets more serious and every text is a dire one, a rush. So I'm on my way to meet up for briefing. I didn't go to Halloween's festival this year but this has to have something to do with it. I wonder if everyone is alright? All I have here are my friends. Material things mean nothing. As a hunter all I can rely on are those around me. I know I have said I would give my life for them, and I've jumped in front of fire and practically died for them in the past, so whoever is reading this please pass along my messages and I hope, truly hope, that they didn't bite the dust with me.
Gale - Lighten up. Don't rage. Don't ruin your youth with broodiness and anger. You're an amazing man.. yeah a man. You've got resolve and discipline and strength that a lot of us don't have. I could have never made the choice to come here at your age. You have promise. Also.. use your british accent to get some chicks already. JEEZUS. Please keep my LotR books. And figures. Take care of them.
Before - Don't stop being you. You're my bro forever. I know sometimes it's hard to keep on a smile but please protect people for me. Tori and Ceres and Tika and even Boss. The girls need a rock to lean on, even if they don't act like it. I know you can do it. You're stronger than you think.
Ariane - I feel like we've gotten a little closer recently but you were one of my first friends, even if you scared me. Keep on butt grabbing. Get yourself a good man. No woman is an island. Let someone in. Oh and Mina says some dirty things to Kintama... but I'm totally not writing that down.
I don't want to write an exposition to every single person in Deus but these guys are my first friends. Betas forever. I'll never forget the ties we made so long ago, ages it seemed, and I'm glad we made it all this way together.
Ceres gets her own section. I wouldn't even be writing this if it weren't for her. She encouraged me to pursue things I'd given up on, to look more into mysteries I was too lazy to work on. Even if I haven't bothered pursuing it yet, she forced me to take another look at things.
Ceres, I hope I'm not dead. Cause if I'm not that means I'll eventually tell you how I feel. Eventually. I'd hate for you to find out like this and I think you'd be soooo pissed to read it in a letter. The truth is that I'm a coward. I'm afraid to ruin our friendship and I'm afraid you don't think of me like that.
You're amazing. You're beautiful. You're the moon to my sun. You're my best friend. You were just the cool tough chick.. and then you were the girl I wanted to hang around all the time.. and then you turned into the girl I needed for sanity, who made me worry and pace when you went on a mission and were late getting back. I haven't even told you yet and so I won't use a word like love. I'm not even sure how much I believe in love after coming to this place, but maybe eventually I'll at least admit a crush to you and see where it goes.
It's a good thing I'm positive I'll come back alive.. because then you won't read my stupid gushy admittance. I feel stupid even writing this now. I don't even know how to end it so umm.. you can have all my comic books.
PLEASE DON'T GIVE OUT MY s**t until you are positive I'm dead. Seriously. I'm crazy OCD about my stuff. Plus people are always disappearing and showing back up again. Do not touch a single Dorito until you find a body.
BURY ME NEXT TO MY BRAID.
Oh and remember.. I'm a midwestern kid given a magic weapon to fight monsters.. that's some crazy s**t right there. Maybe death is only the beginning? It was for all of us at some point.
Duty Calls.
LOL Doody.
The note wasn't signed but the were the obvious impression of a pen tip where he'd sat and thought if there was more to write. His final words were hastily scribbled and there were several wadded up versions in the trash can below.
