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[Q] Margaret Richards / Eden, Page of Cosmos [crits!]

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Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles

PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 7:47 pm


Name: Margaret Richards

Nickname: Mags

Age: 27

Birthday: 01/26

Sign: Aquarius

Gemstone:  Amethyst

Blood Type: AB

Fav. Food: Pumpkin Spice Latte

Hated Food: Anything with vinegar.

Job: Works as a receptionist at a fertility clinic.

Hobbies: 

Zumba - Mags signed up with a coworker a few years back, and though her friend stopped going, she persisted. She finds it very fun and exciting as well as good exercise. Her day to day is mostly filled with work and play, and she really enjoys the break it offers and the opportunity to set goals for herself that she might actually achieve. In fact, it's probably one of the few parts of her life that she has kept to with any kind of 'regularity'; classes usually end up being the anchor point of her week. The rotating instructors and the constant influx of new people are just enough to keep her stimulated.

Critter Keeper - Margaret has always loved animals, but never really had the motivation required to get a degree in veterinary medicine. No, she barely managed her associate's in business! But her tiny one bedroom apartment hasn't been a great stage for her to indulge in collecting new furry friends, so she decided to pay a visit to a local cat rescue. It was love at first sight. She shows up a few times durning the week - never on a schedule, as the volunteer coordinators have all but given up on that - to play with, feed, and help clean litter boxes. The rescue is run out of someone's home, so they don't really mind; although sometimes they do wish she'd call in advance.

Hitting the Town - Short attention span plus no long term goals equals what? If you ask Mags, it's party. She is always keen on learning the 'next best thing', and where better than the college bars that she once very nearly called home? She has begun to finally admit to herself that she's getting a little old for them, but sometimes you've go with what you know. She's spent many a night out socializing on the town - and many mornings hung over and miserable at work. Her coworkers all tease her - after all, when is she going to grow up and start making more long term attachments? Mags doesn't have an answer, and frankly she feels more at home in the company of the co-eds who frequent her old haunts than in her coworkers that are her own age.

Virtues:

Sassy Socialite -- Margaret sometimes wonders if she was born to be a receptionist. She is friendly, open, and loves talking to people - wether they be friends or complete strangers. If she's interested in what you have to say she is perfectly polite and attentive. Group activities are a favorite of hers; she's been known to hit up singles' mingles and blind-date dinners all over town. She likes meeting new people and seeing new things - variety is the spice of life, after all! She's liable to strike up a conversation with just about anyone - the clerk in the grocery store, the teller at the bank, even the bouncer in her favorite clubs. Mags has no qualms about status or social standing - as long as you're interesting.

Changes are Charming - Adaptable is Margaret's middle name! Well, actually it's Ann, but who's counting? Mags adjusts easily to sudden change - an asset when you're the receptionist at a busy health clinic for women. She doesn't mind coming in on odd days, working strange hours or completely rearranging schedules for patient's charts. In fact, she finds change exciting. She doesn't mind modifying her daily routine; even to the point of moving to a new apartment when their office went downtown. She won't fret or worry or stress about it; she'll just get right to work on making it work, no matter what new conditions or challenges she has to face.

Don't Lose Your Head - Mags is a very level-headed young lady. It takes a lot to cause her upset - maybe it's something she learned from zumba classes, or her time as a sister in a very demanding sorority, or when she was one of the captains of the varsity cheerleaders in her high school- you get the idea. Drama and gossip, while juicy and head turning, won't make her bat an eye. She's very self-composed and sensible; able to keep calm under duress. If a problem comes up, she moves on to how to solve it, instead of panicking. After all, if she can fix it, she can move on to something more fun.


Flaws:

You Bore Me - Mags, unfortunately, has a problem with her attention span. She means well, really, but once she loses interest in something it's pretty much over. Sorority? She left. Cheerleading squad? Quit after her third year. Once she's done everything she feels there is to be done in something, she's pretty much over it. She has this problem in social situations too - while she adores meeting NEW people, her crowd of friends is often an ambiguous and changing thing. Once she thinks she has you all figured out, she just CAN'T summon the energy to call. Sorry, she'll be washing her hair. For the rest of the week. This also tends to apply to long term projects. She barely earned her associates, and fortunately works at a job that changes day to day; same with her volunteer work. She has trouble imagining anything past the here and now, and requires constant stimulation.

I'll Get it Later - Procrastination is an art. Part of the reason Mags is often unpredictable is simply because she isn't doing what she should be. After all, later is forever, right? If she loses interest in something, it gets put off. Endlessly. Forever. This can include anything - hobbies, people, assignments. It even affects her work attitude - while she shows up every day, she is often late, and has trouble turning in paperwork on time without a little administrative nudge. It's part irresponsibility, and part forgetfulness. Once she loses interest in something it often ends up being 'out of sight, out of mind'! Oh, I'm sorry, you needed that patient's charts this morning? I totally flaked!

Flip Flops Are Not Just Footwear - Mags interests and opinions are like the seasons, forever changing. One second she is like the sun, beaming down on you warmly, and the next - a cool winter's evening. In the age of computers it's so easy to feed her multi-track, simulation-craving mentality, and she's never really had to curb or control herself. Her habits, with a few exceptions, change with the seasons. When she's into something, she is all over it- but when she's over something, it is SO over. Mags has never been in love, has never set any life goals- she's basically a boat without a rudder, skipping along on a choppy sea. Change is probably the only thing constant about her, and her interests reflect that - clubbing is a new adventure every night; the shelter's cats come and go and so her interactions and duties change - even with zumba, people leave and join the class on a regular basis. Her coworkers often wonder if the wild child in Mags is ever going to settle down, or if she's always going to be a prima donna force of nature.


PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

CIVVIE REF BOARD


Eyes: Green, lidded/half-closed looking.

Hair: Long, straight, and red. Mags hair falls about waist length, and she usually wears it all down or with just the top parts pulled back- no bangs.

Face: Creamy skin with a slightly pink flush, very pale. No freckles to speak of or any other beauty marks.

Clothes: Scrubs are fine, even the receptionists wear them! Holiday themed scrubs would also be fun (for whatever season you're drawing in, heh.)
PostPosted: Fri Oct 12, 2012 7:49 pm


Knight Title: Eden, Page of Cosmos (if Eden is not allowable may I substitute for Paradise (same idea, more generic name I guess XD))

Eden/paradise is a garden of legend, said to be found in the east (where the sun rises each day). Bathed in the golden light of its star, it is a place of plenty; a beautiful natural landscape that embodies gentleness, peace, and a utopian ideal. As cosmos deals with rebirth and stars, a lot of her magic/powers are themed after the life-giving abilities of the sun.

Challenge:  Want for nothing.

Uniform:
UNIFORM INSPIRATION BOARD (disregard colors)
HERP LP just linked me Shaz's knight so ummm I might throw up a diff ref board haha AND HERE IT IS:
REF BOARD REDUX

Top A flowing, lacy dress. Plain for page stage - very plain, empire waist with see-through lace cap sleeves over a strapless sweetheart neckline. It'd be amazing if you could make the skirt sort of fade to be partially transparent, but keep the sparkly/lacy/otherworldiness (ADJECTIVES!)
Gloves not for page
Belt nope! I want it to be really wispy/etherial looking so if it hugs the hips a little that's fine, but no belt unless you think a rope-type sash would help it 'flow' MAYBE - see second ref board for belt ideas?
Shoes not sure, hmm. CC, I guess, although ballet flats or sandals would probably work best
Shoulders just the lace cap sleeves please!
Accessories besides the symbol for cosmos - CC! Flowers in the hair and slight golden accents (maybe instead of jewelry, gold lace or something very light/subtle)

Weapon
Eden's weapon is very loosely based on both the idea of the horn of plenty, and the series of tapestries titled 'The Hunt of the Unicorn'. The horn and huntsman are often used in lieu of Gabriel making his revelation to Mary; is a symbol of good tidings.

Golden Whistle - a very simple gold pipe whistle that hangs on a chain from her neck. If she blows on it, it plays a surprisingly pure, bright note.

Small Horn - Her weapon evolves into a small (size of her forearm) simple horn that hangs from a chain over her shoulder. Eden can now channel her magic through the horn, and it's sound causes order-side characters within 5 feet of the squire to feel rejuvenated; similar to the feeling of stepping out into sunshine after being in a cold room. It doesn't heal anything physically; it's more of a spiritual restoration - a soothing or calming effect, with its exact influence decided by the affected player. Can be used for 30 seconds total; the effect lingers for a short time after Eden ceases playing.

Hunting Horn - Eden's weapon is now an ornate, curved hunting horn, and its innate restorative magic has improved. When she sounds it's call, she can channel her magic into the horn to heal physically, namely minor injuries. Shallow scrapes and bruises of those within 5 feet of the call may disappear, and she can accelerate the healing of slightly more serious wounds (but cannot completely restore them). An additional 20 seconds is added to her magic pool.

Colors: A pink lilac (like the flower) would be great for a primary ACCENT color if that's allowable (I can't find the color swatch for cosmos, haha) with, if possible, antique white overall? Almost wedding dress-y; I know white is supposed to be a secondary color and I didn't know how much leeway we were allowed with shades of white.

Basically @ colors, as warm and sunny as you can go with Cosmos' colors, I guess! So gold accents to match her weapon would be great smile Tarnished gold would be seriously cool but idk if you can go that dark with it~

Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles


Sunshine Alouette

Eternal Senshi

PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 11:34 am


Alright, Rav, let’s get this started! <3

THE CIVILIAN

Overall, you’ve got a very solid personality concept here! Mags seems like a very fun character, and certainly interesting to play with her changing interests and hobbies! Her virtues and flaws balance one another out nicely, and her hobbies fit well and should offer plenty of potential for interactions with other characters!

THE KNIGHT

First and foremost, her uniform! Shaz does already have a page with an outfit similar to your first set of refs, but with both sets of refs I think you’ve got plenty for our artists to work with there to create something that works for Cosmos with those themes in mind. As it turns out, we don’t yet have a color swatch for Cosmos, but you can look at our existed Cosmos pages for a better idea of what colors you can expect: Bimini, Naica, and Hvergelmir—so blues, purples, gold, and white!

Now for her magic! The key thing to remember about knight magic is that it’s a bit different from senshi magic, in that senshi have a certain amount of times their attack can be used in battle, while knights have a pool of magic they draw from for a total amount of time (depending on the type of attack, 30 seconds seems to be about average for squire stage). They can use this magic for however long or however often they like, just as long as they don’t exceed the total amount of time allowable! You can read more about their magic in this post in the Stamper’s Guide!

Other than that, Eden’s magic looks good. Five feet is a good distance, and the sunny, rejuvenating/healing effect of her magic certainly fits thematically with Cosmos, though keep in mind that Bimini’s magic also has a restorative effect. As you have Eden’s magic written right now, it’s not exactly the same, as hers seems more spiritual and later physically heals in a minor capacity, whereas Bimini’s boosts energy and dulls pain, but they are similar enough for me to ask for a little more clarification! What do you mean by a “spiritual restoration?” Is this strength, energy, confidence? Or something else?

Provided there’s enough of a difference between the two, all that needs changing is switching out how many times her magic can be used for a total amount of time her magic can be used before her pool runs out!

And that’s it! You can quote me once you’re done and I’ll look at this again ASAP! <3
PostPosted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 10:34 pm


Sunshine Alouette


OK! I think I fixed it - I didn't know if physical healing would be appropriate for Squire-level magic, hence the spiritual effect instead. I left it like that because I wasn't really sure on it still XD; Although I did elaborate some.

Any advice in that regard would be greatly appreciated! Sorry, I'm terrible at doing attacks, haha.

Thank you for your time by the way heart

Edit: HAHA oh man awkward ok I realized as I was going through this forum out of boredom there was already a Cosmos knight with two of Mag's hobbies, so I went ahead and made very slight changes to them so as to further differentiate there. Sorry, that was completely unintentional and I apologize if I offended anyone.

Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles


Sunshine Alouette

Eternal Senshi

PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 7:07 pm


Attacks are looking good!

I just want to make sure of one more thing in her knight stage magic and things should be good to go! Knight magic can definitely be confusing some times, so I just want to make sure we’re both on the same page before I give this a trial stamp! At the moment it seems you have her knight stage magic lasting a total of 20 seconds.

In her knight stage, she will be able to use both her squire stage magic as well as her new knight ability (healing, in this case). Her total magic pool will also increase with the addition of that new spell. A twenty second increase to her magic pool from squire stage to knight stage is perfectly acceptable, but I want to make sure that’s what you meant in your description! That would put her total magic pool at 50 seconds, and she could use either attack (squire stage attack or knight stage attack) in her knight stage for any amount of time within those 50 seconds. So she could use her squire attack for ten seconds, then her knight attack for 10, then back to her squire attack for a further 15, and so on so forth. As long as she wouldn’t be exceeding those 50 seconds, she could use either attack (or switch back and forth between the two), for however long (or however many times) its necessary for her to do so in battle!

So go ahead and tweak that last sentence in her knight stage magic, from “She can sustain its effect for a grand total of 20 seconds” to something like “another 20 seconds is added to her magic pool,” and you should be good!

Ravvlet
PostPosted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 9:33 pm


Sunshine Alouette


Okie dokie, it should be good now! biggrin

Ravvlet

Hygienic Waffles


Sunshine Alouette

Eternal Senshi

PostPosted: Sun Oct 21, 2012 8:25 am


Ravvlet


Yup! Everything looks good now, so it's ready for a trial stamp! 8D

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 22, 2012 6:41 am


As Sunny mentioned the colors lean hard towards white, gold, purple, and blue. So it's going to need to lean more towards the purple side of lilacs then pink. Just an FYI/warning.

Here is Cosmos/Nova so you can see their colors.
http://shimoyo.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d2sbhm8
http://i909.photobucket.com/albums/ac299/Natsubebe/KOY1U.gif

In anycase this quest looks good. You're ACCEPTED!

Iris_virus

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