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When she finally did manage to return to her room, Freya looked like she'd just fought a war. Her face was pale and lined with tears, her hair was out of it's braid and sticking out at all ends, and her entire body was shaking. She barely made it to the dorm before opening the door, and stopping there.

She touched the half open door, and a bittersweet laugh left her lips. It was followed by a sob, and then silence.

She closed the door behind her, but couldn't be bothered to lock it. The moment the door was closed, Freya fell face down onto the floor like a log, and remained there.

She wished her kind could die. She welcomed the blissful peace of death. No aching, broken heart. She wished, and wished, and wished.

But in the end she just lay there, and lived.

"AAAAACHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

Freya convulsed like a dying fish as she tried to sit up and see the intruder, her heartbeat rising to a mile a minute in surprise. Both of her hands were in front of her face in karate chop style when she finally started to realize it was just her sister, and she sagged back down to the floor and fell in a lump.

"HEL!" She cried out in surprise. "Whatcyeh doings-"

She literally couldn't finish her sentence. The mere moment the shock had worn off, she was back to feeling the only thing that she could feel right now. All emcompassing heart-rending pain. So instead of talking, she just put her hands over her face and started crying. She couldn't even control herself. It was as if her body said she had to cry, right that very second.

Freya all but jumped into Hel's arms, curling up into them for sheer desperate need. She wrapped her arms around her sister's waist, and buried her face into Hel's shoulder. It was hard to breathe. She just kept sucking in a breath, and sobbing it out again. She shook in Hel's arms, still unable to control herself in any manner.

It felt like forever before she finally calmed down enough to breathe normally, but she couldn't stop shaking. But there was a warmth spreading over her body. It wasn't comfortable, and it wasn't welcome. Her blood was boiling, overheating, and she swooned.

"Unnngghh." The ghoul pulled one hand away to rub her head. It was swimming with pain. She couldn't open her eyes, they hurt too much. Besides, she never wanted to see the world again.

But even then, Hel's presence gave her something to hold onto. And she let out a few more tears, for a different reason. Her sister was there for her, when she needed her most.

"Is over." Freya sobbed out quietly. "Is all over. Is all over."

When Hel cupped her face, Freya slit her eyes open, blinking the tears out of the way to look at the ghoul. She was all dark, and it reminded her of Herryk. It made her shut her eyes closed again, and she buried her face into her sisters neck.

But the presence was welcome. She needed her sister right now, and she needed the comfort and healing touch that came along with someone who loved so indiscriminately. She sniffed, and soaked in as much as she could, until a cracked voice squeaked something out.

"Hel." Freya whispered with a quiet but remarkably focused voice. "Gets the eyescream."

Freya stayed in the exact spot on the floor Hel had left her in when her sister got up to get the eyescream. Her body kept shivering uncontrollably, as if she was cold. But all she felt was numb. She sat there, staring at her rug mournfully, until a tub of eyescream was placed in her line of vision. Her hand reached out for the spoon, and there was no hesitance. No roils of nausea at the idea of eating so much fat. There was no room in her heart for her disease ridden mental disorders. There was only the aching, jagged hole Herryk had left when he ripped himself away.

She put a mouthful of eyescream in her mouth, and brushed the tears that just kept coming away.

"Nothings about this is for anyones best." Freya's hoarse voice whispered. "He is brokens. I am brokens. And now we're just more brokens." She took another spoonful, and ate it immediately. Her eyes lifted up to look at her sister, and her brow furrowed deep. "I don't even knows who he is anymore, Hel. He didn't even wants teh touch me."

The spoon clattered down on the eyescream, and the bubbles of nausea finally made their appearance.

"Maybe.." Oh, no. Not this. Anything but this, anything but now. "Maybe he just thinks I'm fat."

Freya's a** clenched, and she picked up the spoon.

"Then what did happens, crumpet? Is this all my faults for not comings to him when he didn't comes teh me?" Just hearing it out loud sounded so stupid. "How could we have gone from.. just.." Her face flushed as she remembered it all, and she stabbed the eyescream with her spoon angrily, and put a giant spoonful in her mouth.

"Is just stupid. If I could understands it, this wouldn't be so hard. If I could understands why this happens, then maybe I could feels like I'm not still his."

But she did feel that way, and she hated it. She stabbed the eyescream again.

The statement stung. When did Hel become the one with all the answers? Freya stopped shoveling eyescream down her throat just to look at her sister critically. It was unnerving her, but she couldn't be unhappy about it.. because she needed it so desperately. Everything she said was right, and rational, and Freya was the opposite of rational right now.

She smirked faintly, and leaned in, kissing her sister's cheek.

Then she poked at the eyescream again, and thought hard about what her sister was trying to tell her, bit by bit. An unfortunate moment of weakness popped up, when she thought about whether it was right or wrong for her to say ‘I am hurting, please stand by my side'. She had wanted that so bad. She had wanted him by her side, forcing her to see the truth, just like Hel and Kettil had. That was where she always thought Herryk was going to be. But the first time she needed him - truly needed him, he wasn't there.

And someone else was.

Freya's eyebrows furrowed, trying not to think about that. But even as she sat there eating eyescream, she realized it felt like something was missing in the scene. As though she expected herself to be here, hurting, and she expected two people to sandwich her in determination.

And for the first time in as long as she could recall, someone was missing.

"Where's Kettil?" She regretted asking it as soon as she said it, because it wasn't the time, or the place - but he was her best friend, and he was.. he was just always there at the right time.

So she worried.

But she backtracked, so as not to look like a harlot about it.

"He's usually here this time of days, did yeh shoos him off when yeh saws my room?" She asked, casually taking another bite of eyescream.

She didn't know why Hel was taking so long to answer, but when that damn smile crept up her face, Freya's answering frown grew deeper, and deeper.

"Yeh stops that right now, young lady. I'm serious. Not the times nor the place, I'm just worried. I'M SERIOUS. He's usually heres and yehr not answerings whether yeh saw him or not and that makes me worry - I'M SERIOUS STOP THAT."

She flung eyescream at Hel's face.