Not all wounds were physically open for the world to poke at and reopen, and yet, at times, they still seemed as if they were. Physically he was tired. Mentally he was weak and broken. Emotionally, he was lost to himself and those around him. He did not know, nor believe, he could ever live out his father’s last wish. To be king, that was something meant for someone he was born and raised to be so. That was a title meant for his brother, whom was no longer physically fit to take the place as ruler, so the title fell upon him like a rock from the sky.
He didn’t want it though. He never wanted it. Prince, yes that was something he could deal with. Look pretty, act proper at important events, answer a few questions when they came along and that was it as far as he was concerned. He had a title, had power, but most importantly he had his freedom. Ali had all the time in the world to mingle within the pride, to go out on raids and hang out with the guards. He was free to come and go as he pleased because he had nothing holding him back, but now things were changing must too fast, and all he wanted to do was run from it all.
Snorting, Ali turned his gaze towards the moon that lit the sky as if it had all the answers he was searching for.
“I am no better than a child screaming for a toy that was taken from him, but how could I possibly accept something I never wanted, ever. They say I must be a man and step up, but what do they know? Well, probably more than I do, but that is beside the point. And now I just sound like an idiot. An idiot can’t be King, right? And yet so many become one anyway…”
Flopping on to his side, Ali angrily blew some of his bangs away from his eyes. What was he to do now? The male knew very well that even though Ardavan was putting up with his childish antics he would eventually grow tired of them and start doing whatever he could to chain him down, even if it meant literally chaining him down…
Every game of cat and mouse does come to an end at some point. No longer would Ali be able to hide out in the caves or the desert. No longer could he waste his time flirting with the lionesses or wrestling around with the bandits and guards. It would be nothing but lectures, meetings and lessons on how to be “Kingly”. Yep, the best entertainment comes from sitting on his a** and listening to people complains about this and that as they wait to hear what he’s going to do about their problems. Like he had any real idea about what he’s supposed to do. If someone can’t handle living amongst thieves and handling their own issues then that’s their own problem, not his.
A cold wind swept through causing some of the sand to fly and shift. Ali closed his eyes as he waited for the wind to pass
“I suppose it is time for me to grow up. It’s time for me to stop thinking about myself all the time, and start thinking about the better good. Though,” he scuffed and shook his head “That is something that is easier said than done. If father saw me right now he could probably slap me in disappointment and tell me to man up.”
Memories of his father came flooding back to the young male. All the stories he would tell about how their pride came to be, tales of great kings that ruled among other territories. All those times he would talk of great expectations he held for both of his boys. …The look of disappointment he held when he realized most of those expectations would never see the light of day.
They may have failed the first time around, while their father still walked among them, but that did not mean redemption was not an option. That did not mean Ali could never be the King the pride deserved. If he kept running, if he kept dodging what life wished to hand him then what would become of them? Would some other mad with power swoop in to take the title of King? Would this other rule their pride in to the ground as they turned angry gazes upon him for failing them?
No, he would never allow such a thing to happen. He could not allow such a thing to happen. One way or another, with time, he would change his ways and step up. Ali knew well enough that those whom supported him would never allow him to fail. They would never allow him to go through this transition alone, so what was there to be afraid of? Why keep running away from something other than the fact that he himself was being selfish and clinging to fears of his own failure?
His father had faith in him before his passing. His brother obviously had at least a small amount of faith too, wherever that was hiding. So that just meant he needed to find his own faith.
Plus, who said he couldn’t take a break every now and again to mingle with the others and have a little fun? It would just have to wait until his long list of duties were done, which could take forever thanks to his short attention span and sometimes childish ways. Eh, he could just get Ardavan to take care of everything. After all, that’s what Maliks were for, right? Right.
Yeah, everything would be alright, in time.
He may never live up to his father, or what he brother could have been, but that would be alright. As long as he didn’t set the pride on fire he could do well enough.
