[Q] SHIVA: red maple tiger (crit)

[Stereochrome]

xxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxx
► SHIVA
red maple ::::: tiger  

[Stereochrome]

USER

► Name:
Gabriel Ross

► Age:
53

► Magic Affinity:
Fire: Offensive
Gabriel is partial to large and showy fireballs. Or perhaps a handful of little ones, to singe the boots of people who aren’t paying attention to him. He has little patience for any more delicate magic, and if his powers have any potential for anything of the sort, he has never bothered to explore the possibility.

► Appearance:
Gabriel is an imposing man, this shoulder-length dark hair and neatly-trimmed stubble steadily turning gray despite the fact that he’s not aging as fast as a normal man would. Perhaps fate knows it’s a better look for him - it gives him the air of authority he depends on. He’s not the tallest nor the bulkiest of men, after all, hardly better than average in those respects - but he has a way of making crowds clear in his path. He walks with his head held high and his arms folded behind his back, while his cold gray eyes pointedly focus on on whomever might get in his way. His face is chiselled - clear and sharp once, but somewhat more weathered today. Worry lines caused by decades of scowling mark his brow and the corners of his eyes, while his hands have begun to grow calloused and rough.

► Personality:
Gabriel Ross is not the friendliest man in Mistwick. Stern is probably the most polite word one could use - but harsh might be more honest. He’s a strict perfectionist and unforgivingly judgemental of everyone around him, regardless of whether they value his judgement or not. Everything and everyone is studied carefully under the gaze of his steely eyes - stretched out, measured length and width, stringently tested and pinned with a rank and a score. Score well, and a thin-lipped smile might turn at the corners of his lips the next time he sees you. Fail to do so, and... well, you’ll earn yourself a snarling, scathing critique the likes of which can give some grown men nightmares.

There’s hardly a soft edge to Gabriel, but if you must hand out compliments, the man is stunningly dedicated and ultimately forgiving. He’s given most of his life to his work - he believes in it, in action as well as in principle. Gabriel is firmly guided by his convictions, and stubbornly loyal to those he sees as his allies.

His forgiveness might be harder to pin down, and it’s no exaggeration to say he might actively hide it. It may be sufficient to say only this: if he had no respect for someone, and no hope that they would ever improve and prove him wrong another day - he wouldn’t even bother with his harsh criticisms.

► History:
Gabriel was born in the time shortly after the Sundering - a strange time, to say the least. But his father was a practical man, and instead of concerning himself with the historical events of the time he simply took advantage of the influx of refugees to grow his small business into a veritable mercantile powerhouse. Gabriel and his younger brothers grew up comfortable, wealthy and educated, and for the first years of their lives it seemed as if they might all simply follow in their father’s footsteps.

But Gabriel, perhaps to his own surprise as much as his family’s, began to show some magical aptitude. So while his brothers continued their education with their father, Gabriel was sent the the Citadel - and decided that he must therefore be somehow better. He was the oldest, after all. And the cleverest. So who was to say he wasn’t better than all of the other students in the Citadel, too? Gabriel began to take charge even then, leading his little group of followers and shunning the students he thought to be less talented. He did, however, develop an odd tendency to sometimes pick out one such straggler to take under his wing. He’d become fond of the warm feeling of pride he felt when they started to do better at whatever it is they had been so pathetic at before, knowing that it was his insistence that had pushed them to improve.

Gabriel was a little perplexed, however, when he was not the first in his year to receive a Guardian. Nor was he the second, or the third, or the twelfth. In fact, it was not until a few years after he finished school that he was granted a Guardian - the day coinciding with his admission into the town guard. Perhaps it was mere happenstance, but Gabriel saw it as providence, a message that he had chosen his path correctly. From that day on, he would not waver.  

[Stereochrome]

GUARDIAN

► Name:
Shiva

► Magic Affinity:
Earth: Scattering
Shiva has the ability to burst into a flurry of leaves before returning to his original form a few seconds later. If he is moving, the leaves follow the general path of his momentum: this allows him to accomplish physical feats otherwise impossible, like particularly high falls, long leaps or charges through obstructions. And on some days he just feels like being a heap of leaves for a little while.

► Essence/Animal:
Red Maple / Tiger

► Appearance:
stage one :: bright red fur and leaf markings instead of/along with stripes? he could also have some tree-like elements, like bark textures.
stage two & on :: distinctly masculine, but more lean than burly. preferably dark-skinned

► Personality:
Like any good hunter, Shiva is endlessly patient.

He’s been around for a long while now, and like the predator his form is based on he still traverses the city on all four paws. Together with Gabriel, they make an undeniably imposing pair - Shiva's flank at just the right height for Gabriel to rest his hand on as they walk side by side. But while Gabriel is rarely seen without Shiva, Shiva can sometimes be spotted on his own. Not needing sleep, he takes the time alone to stalk the streets of Mistwick and contemplate the passage of things. He sees the other guardians around him take on their humanoid forms and go on missions, but quietly returns to curl up at the food of Gabriel's bed.

Little has happened in the last thirty years to lull him out of the endless cyclical pattern of his hours - early mornings, hectic days and quiet evenings by the fire (unless some emergency demands Gabriel's presence in the heart of a conflict). Like a very big and lazy cat, Shiva rolls onto his side and watches the steam rise up from Gabriel’s teacup, his tail flicking behind him like he hasn’t a care in the world. What’s the rush, after all?

But every good hunter is always ready to jump at an opportunity, and deep inside Shiva is wound up with excitement at this proposition. Change is on the horizon - Gabriel may be in for a surprise, but Shiva can almost smell it. Old things will pass and new things will come. He yearns to fight a real battle, instead of the mundane tasks of crowd control, discipline and criminal-hunting his User is always elbows deep in. Bloodthisty is probably not the right word for it, although it’s hard to say if he could control himself in a fight (he's been known to cause some serious injuries to troublemakers he was just supposed to 'restrain'). He’s eager to show his strength and learn of his weaknesses, and tends to have a chillingly lackadaisical attitude towards the destruction of things, people, and Gabriel's collection of painted vases.

All in all, Shiva keeps his claws sharp and his teeth sharper, and you would be gravely mistaken if you assumed that this cat was getting too soft to hunt.  

[Stereochrome]

DETAILS

► ESSENCE
Red Maple
The red maple, as it's name would suggest, is best known for the brilliant color of it's leaves in the fall season. In the brief stretch of autumn, maples stand boldly scarlet, almost bright enough to warm you in the chilling air.

It's a hardy tree that can adapt to all manner of conditions. Find one in an open field and it's roots and branches will spread out to fill up all the available space. Find another in a crowded forest, and you will find it's trunk growing tall, straight and free of branches until much higher up. The live through droughts and floods without a care, and after their grand show in the fall they are one of the first trees to flower in the spring.

When Gabriel's father first became prominent and wealthy enough to buy a large house, the family moved into a grand but long-abandoned home, a remnant of some old aristocracy. Gabriel's most striking memory of that day was walking through the dusty halls and stepping out into the courtyard, where a huge maple tree had grown unchecked for years. It was october - the sky overhead was blocked out with red leaves, and the ground equally carpeted underneath.

For years he grew up around the tree - it was visible from any room that faced out into the courtyard. He found it rather striking in any season, but inevitably his favorite was always the fall. Never having been fond of cold weather, he felt that the red foliage warmed him better than the largest of bonfires.

It was fall again when he was granted a Guardian. He didn't spend any time thinking about his essence - nor did he waste his time picking out the one perfect leaf. He simply gathered an armful of the leaves on the ground and tossed them all into the pool, watching them flutter and ripple in the breeze.






► ANIMAL
Tiger
One of the largest predators, tigers have characteristic coloring and a rather impressive set of teeth. They live and hunt in a variety of different climates and terrains, from snowy mountain slopes to shady jungles and sun-baked grasslands. Their prey consists of large animals - some even larger than the tigers themselves. Their hunts are generally ambushes, an art of using their massive weight, claws and teeth to take down an animal in short order. Tigers can reach impressive speeds in a burst, but lack stamina.

Tigers are solitary but social animals - they spend most of their time alone, but may congregate when conditions are suitable. They are believed to be responsible for more human deaths than any other wild mammal, and cultures in areas inhabited by tigers often fear, worship or revere the animals.















► NAME
Shiva
(I know the name doesn't have so much relevance given that the setting isn't really connected to any sort of indian mythology, but there were a few things that inspired me so I thought I would note them.)

Shiva is a god of ambiguity and paradox, whose attributes include opposing themes. The most notable are his dual roles as Destroyer and Benefactor. I saw the connection the the red maple here, because the maple is most striking and beautiful in a moment of the death and destruction of it's leaves.

Shiva is sometimes depicted as resting on or wearing the skin of a tiger, which is where I obviously saw the connection to the animal aspect of the Guardian. I also connected the destruction/creation attributes of the deity to the Guardian's power of bursting into leaves and re-forming into a tiger.
 

[knife effect]

ＭＯＤ　ＣＲＩＴ

Hi Stereochrome, Pisto here to give a friendly staff crit! While I'm trying my best to
be moderate, I would encourage you to take my critique entirely to heart. It's important to
me as a staff member that your quest can be at the apex of its potential, especially since
you've worked so hard on it! Okay! Without further ado--


✥　✥　✥　✥

USER
ＭＡＧＩＣＡＬ　ＡＦＦＩＮＩＴＹ
Gabriel's magical affinity is fine. If you're interested in how you could potentially evolve his abilties as his plot progresses, there's a post here that could be helpful for that!

ＡＰＰＥＡＲＡＮＣＥ
Gabriel's appearance seems fine to me also! I also have to commend you for choosing to go with an older User, since those are rare and more challenging to write.

ＰＥＲＳＯＮＡＬＩＴＹ
Gabriel's personality reads like a lot of surfacework. Is there a reason that he's unfriendly/stern/harsh? What motivates his perfectionism and what inspires his drive? He's a man of 53, so I'm sure that he's experienced something (be it emotive or eventful) that source these traits of his, since he doesn't feel as defined as he could be. It doesn't make sense to me that someone who's an adamant critic is simultaneously capable of being ultimately forgiving. His unfriendliness makes it hard for me to see how he'd have open opportunities in befriending other characters, which conflicts with his loyalty trait. There's a lot of convoluted issues that are in here. From what I'm getting so far, Gabriel is simply someone who thinks himself as "Holier Than Thou", and as much as I want to, I can't really see anything beyond that. First and foremost, I suggest streamlining out this section more before you go into details in how Gabriel approaches forgiveness. Additionally, providing background explaining why he acts a certain way would help synthesize his personality traits with each other and help potential avoid conflicts. Another good way to think about how you'd manipulate his personality is by studying the class system. Which one would Gabriel be more likely to belong in, and how would his personality traits mesh were he faced with conflicts that these classes could present? Remember, a character that can interact in the universe is one that we feel has a really good grasp of the universe. Still, I would suggest getting rid of the contracting traits as your first priority.

ＨＩＳＴＯＲＹ
Gabriel's history is perhaps where a lot of your merit rests. I like his family background a lot, and the transition that he has from home life to Citadel life is very smooth. Once he enters the Citadel, however, is where all the problems start popping up. Again, the issues with his history stem from the issues in his personality section. How did he gain a little group of followers? He doesn't seem to be the charismatic type and seems to hold a lot of prejudice. I feel like if you fixed his personality section and history section, this portion would make more sense. Additionally, telling us that Gabriel's proficient in magic isn't quite enough; we'd like to know in what ways he excelled and how that helped develop him into someone worthy of a Guardian. I am quite frankly just as confused as Gabriel is on the subject of how he was not the first in his year to receive a Guardian. I'm assuming this is only difficult to see because of the problems in the personality section, so hopefully when you get that straightened out in tangent to the history section, things will be much smoother. A fix up would be really good!

✥　✥　✥　✥

GUARDIAN
ＭＡＧＩＣＡＬ　ＡＦＦＩＮＩＴＹ
I'm not quite sure if this magical affinity could work. Signo's concept of Earth Magic is much more "grounded" than the one you have envisioned, so I suggest asking about it in-thread to be sure. However, there's a post here that explains more about how the physics of Earth magic works if you feel like scrapping this concept entirely would help you out!

ＥＳＳＥＮＣＥ
WOW RED MAPLE TIGER this is mad cute. It's also completely acceptible.

ＰＥＲＳＯＮＡＬＩＴＹ
Shiva far outdoes Gabriel, and while I'm really digging what you have so far of him, I think it's important for you to think about how Shiva behaves outside of "tigerness". A lot of Signo questers are having this issue, since it's one that we haven't really addressed so far. Eventually, Shiva's going to evolve into a more humanoid form, and as an animal, he should already be capable of emotive feelings that aren't in the predatory sphere. What kind of character is Gabriel aside from being a tiger Guardian? What are his aspirations? Fears? Secrets? Tendencies?