Mood Music - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxIbIkycXwU
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“Everything is going to be alright,” Nuru believed it with all his heart. It wasn’t just that he wanted to, but he had to. Faith was all he seemed to have to go on anymore.
He was happy now, at least. Zar was back and for the first time since he met the boil – he was smiling. A real, genuine, ‘nothing can ever go wrong now’ smile that just made him feel… safe. Secure. They were going to be together forever now. Nothing was going to change that ever again. This was the promise and it filled the dog boil’s heart.
He was smiling too. Zar was sleeping now and for once it did not seem the slightest bit fitful. He was at peace and Nuru could not help but watch it happen. It was an unforeseen miracle and in some ways he should be grateful. If not for the hunters, Zar would be running around right now screaming about being late in finishing one thing or another. Chaotic and strange in ways that frightened the barghest down to his very core.
He leaned over and pushed Zar’s bangs back with the palm of his hand and pressed his lips to the demon’s forehead, a good night kiss before he joined him in deep restful slumber. That chaos was behind them now.
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Days came and went, where once was hope sadness slowly seeped in. Promises were not kept, they turned into little lies along the way somehow.
Nuru peered over at Zar from his spot on the bed. The demon was busy toiling away at his paperwork again. Still, Nuru’s heart skipped a beat every time the demon suddenly froze and turned to… smile slightly as he offered a fresh piece of bat jerky as apology. He said he wouldn’t do this anymore. But it still needed to be done; for that, he was very sorry indeed.
Nuru was sorry too, sorry in a way that he expected Zar to be and do things that were inherently not Zar. At least they still had each other and that alone was of great comfort. The demon still had a smile and it was still just for him; even if he was seeing it less and less.
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The broken promises kept coming. At one point it almost seemed every day was a new broken promise; just piling on more and more.
Nuru couldn’t understand why he was banished to the floor again. Zar complained that it was something about cleaning the bed being too much hassle; what little sense that even made. Still, he sprawled out on the cold wood more comfortably and heaved a sigh. It was Zar’s room and he wanted to be here, to be close. It was worth every bit of having a sore side later.
He watched without a breath of complaint from his spot as Zar obsessively filed and refiled the same mountain of paperwork as if he was certain no matter where he’d put them; he’d be unable to find any of it later. If he could not find them later then… well, apparently heads would roll.
Nuru quietly hoped this head Zar was constantly referring to was not his own.
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Fright night was just a few days away. Nuru saw the decorations, the posters, and heard the excited whispers among students. He wanted to be excited. He wanted so bad to be.
But really, he wasn’t and he was starting to realize he may never be again.
The last few days Zar was starting to act even worse; unpredictable even. There was no pause, no break at all. When he wasn’t working, he was cleaning almost obsessively. He started talking to himself; little mutters he didn’t seem at all aware of. They didn’t make any sense at all. It was like he began talking in his sleep but was wide awake, or looked wide awake anyway. Maybe he was sleep walking and talking at the same time? It made sense in a way, he stopped sleeping after all.
Nuru stared longingly at the deep gouges in the closed and locked door. Not even scratching at the door seemed to get the attention the barghest so craved anymore. He frowned down at the black tendrils of soot that poured freely from his injured paws; his claws had been worn down well past the nubs.
It dawned on him then that nothing was ever going to be alright. He was stupid to ever think otherwise.
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The festivities had come and gone. Nuru spent them buried in a pile of garbage, comforters, and self loathing. His boilfriend was broken again and just like always… there was simply nothing he could do to help him. Zar eventually did that on his own without help.
All he could do was wait - which is all well and good except for the fact waiting like this made him both physically and mentally ill. He had the strange feeling if he didn’t move and do something soon he too might share the same fate. Unlike Zar, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to come out of such a state of mind once entering it.
He shoved the comforters off him, causing cans and other debris to come clattering to the floor. As terrible as he felt right now, he couldn’t let it consume his every moment. It wasn’t good for him.
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Life was sometimes hard for Nuru to understand; like why Zar was ever taken from him in the first place and why he was better after the return only to… He tried to not get hung up on such things; questioning where answers weren’t available. No one ever won at that game. Especially not Nuru; all he ever got out of it was a sore head.
He squinted up at the sky as he padded through the gardens. He was in search of distractions, any distraction at all. Preferably a distraction that is living.
