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 Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 7:22 pm
It had taken him an inordinate amount of time to return from the human world, half because Ren was moving at a much slower pace than he was used to and half because he wasn't even sure he had wanted to return.
It was difficult to walk. The two men had put up a much stronger fight than he had expected, fingernails gouging into his arms, their wiry legs kicking out. One had had a pocketknife - nothing more than a flimsy piece of metal in between two weak pieces of plastic - but despite the blade being hardly an inch long, it had still hurt when it had sliced across his skin, and Ren had had a time trying to get it away from the man.
In the end, he had used his talons. At first they had been extended merely for intimidation purposes, but when the men refused to give up, he had had no choice.
His hands were covered in blood, but who's blood was it?
Ren staggered through the forest, stopping every few moments to take some time to rest, his breathing shallow and irregular. He did not want to go back to his dorm - there was a chance that LW would be there, or Jove, and he could not take the chance of running into either of them. They would ask questions, questions he could not (or was it would not) answer.
His heart beat, slow and rhythmic, inside of his chest. Wings lifted then fell dully against his back, a few of the feathers askew, and closed his eyes briefly, taking a sharp breath before continuing on.
He finally made it to the school grounds again, and by that time he felt as though his legs were made of mud and he was sinking lower and lower into the ground. There was a place he knew, just up ahead, however - a small, secluded place, enshrouded by large trees and thick brush, tucked against a corner of the school that no one knew of save a few people. He could go there - it would be safe there.
It was overgrown when he got there. He had not tended to it in quite some time, and there were weeds and odd looking plants helter skelter over the grass-strewn dirt. Ren, however, made no attempt at taking a closer look. He felt drained and weak, and as soon as he was out of sight of the rest of the campus he dropped down to the ground, his face against the grass beside the little garden, half hidden behind a tall line of bushes.
His wings curled protectively around his body, as though shielding him.
From what, he wasn't even sure anymore.
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Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 8:45 pm
There had been such a long amount of time between the witch's last visit to the little secret garden she had shared and now that it felt as though it had never happened. When the witch sat up in her bed and remembered that little patch of dirt with all its vegetables and flowers and greenery, she almost mistook it for a long forgotten dream. But when she really thought about it, Belladonna was sure it was still there. It had to be! Little plots of land like that didn't grow up overnight, nor did they fully disappear in merely a year. So though it was strange how she had so suddenly thought of the garden, the strangeness did not halt her actions. With an odd sense of haste she dressed for gardening (a more subdued spring dress, surely the last time it would see daylight this year), snatched up a basket full of gloves and shovels and little packets of seeds and donned a pair of boots that could stand to meet with some dirt. And even though it felt strange to run with no real reason, Belladonna still fled down the stairs and kept up a light jog across the campus. When she finally reached the garden, it looked at once better and worse than normal. Better, because at least the whole of it had been overgrown and not just her little section. But worse because overgrowth where there once had been organization always looked off. With a strange sigh Belladonna put a hand on her hip as she surveyed the little plot, a smile twisted on her mouth. It would be hard work, but good work. Fun work that-- A glint of gold caught her eye, something strange and not in line with the garden. Curiosity pushed her forward easily and it wasn't until Belladonna saw feet that connected to pants that were legs that she dropped the basket. Silently she rushed around the garden to its back, pink eyes wide as she stared down at the fallen golden bird. Only it wasn't a bird, but something far more precious. A strange little shriek escaped her mouth as Belladonna dropped down to her knees, her hands awkwardly hovering over crooked feathers. "Ren?! Ren, oh Hecate, please be ok!" The last part was more hushed, more to herself. Finally a hand chanced the encounter and Belladonna brushed some hair off his face, hoping to see if he were unconscious or merely just fallen. Normally this would have been funny, the witch having found her dear gryphon lounging around in the grass. Normally Belladonna would have laughed and flopped down next to him, would have cherished a fun moment of actual relaxation. But she saw the blood on his hands, splattered on various parts of his clothing. She saw the way his feathers looked beaten, the utterly broken way he had fallen... It crushed Belladonna's heart to look upon him, but it hurt far worse to know that something had told her to come. Some little spark of intuition had sprung up, had coaxed her into this.
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Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 9:12 pm
He heard her voice as though from far away, as though she were speaking from a great distance that warped and curled the words into things he could not understand. The pain in Ren's head, which had started off as a dull sort of ache earlier that morning upon awakening, had now exploded into a haze of mind-numbing searing that made it difficult for him to want to keep his eyes open.
Who's calling my name?
It wasn't LW, that much he could tell at once - though the vividly scarlet hair that swam in front of his vision as he forced his eyes to open again bore a remarkable resemblance to his ghoulfriend's - sans the feathers that he had once woven into LW's locks. No, the hair was not the shewolf's, but it was certainly not unfamiliar to Ren, who recognized the speaker after a few seconds of groggy blinking.
"Bells," Ren muttered, and felt cool fingertips against his brow, the witch beside him pushing some of his rain-soaked hair away from his face. It was not raining in Amityville, for which he was eternally grateful, but it had been storming when he had left the human world, and his clothes were soaked, sticking unpleasantly and itchily to his body.
He attempted to push himself up, gave a wince, and immediately laid back down, wings curling protectively against his back, tail flicking up once in a feeble gesture before it too flopped back down onto the grass.
He could still taste the coppery tang of blood on his tongue.
"Bells. What are you...doing here?"
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AyeAvast rolled 5 4-sided dice:
4, 4, 2, 2, 2
Total: 14 (5-20)
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Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 9:50 pm
"I don't know..." The witch choked out, trying far too hard not to cry. Already tears had welled in her eyes, threatened to be made real and spill over, but Belladonna bit down on her lip and shook her head. A weird clutch had formed over her heart, over her entire chest. It made it hard to breath, made it uncomfortable to move because there were so many things that could be wrong. Had it been Hunters, had it been another student? Had it been something else altogether or had it been something the witch knew about, even though it was supposed to be somewhat secret? The failed attempt to sit up deeply upset the witch, enough that she let out a tiny little noise of fear. "Hold still, don't move. You're hurt! Heca--" The word was clipped short by the realization that she could help. Frantic hands left the boil and instead her hands went palm up, a bit of glowing pink forming in the little dip of her collected skin. The pink became substantial, became a deck of cards that Belladonna immediately threw out from her. Like so many good little soldiers they snapped into a circle around her, floating complacently as she reached out toward one. Without even looking the witch tossed the card above her head, where it burst into a glittering full moon. For one long moment she held her breath, eyebrows drawn down in concentration. Then finally, after what felt an entire age, the moon grew brighter and shone a ray down. It wasn't much, not nearly enough to heal all of Ren's wounds, but Belladonna felt the clutch lessen on her heart. After another few seconds of shining its light down, the moon finally eclipsed itself and faded. In near disbelief that that had actually worked, the witch summoned her cards back to her palm. With a quick swipe they were gone, back to their secret place and a tentative hand was placed on Ren. "Feeling a little better now?" She tried, softly, in case her healing had not been enough. Not sure what else to do, Belladonna brushed more of his hair back, anything to try and be of further help. Her mouth was pulled tight in attempt to hold back the words of concern and worry, but it wasn't enough. "What happened? Who did this to you?" Perhaps it was wrong to suddenly push when he had been hurt, when things could have gone much worse had she not been here... But this was not the first person she cared for who'd returned to her with blood on their hands. Not that Ren necessarily returned to her, nor had the other. Instead Belladonna took a deep breath and held it, along with a steady gaze on Ren's face while she waited. Kurotomato Hey! She healed him for +10 HP! Whoo hoo!
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 2:06 pm
His wings fluttered weakly, and Ren made to rise once more, but Belladonna's insistent voice, the tears glistening in her eyes made him stop and lay back down. He was almost to the point where he was past caring now, past understanding, even, but something about seeing the witch's face got to him. Besides LW, Belladonna was most likely his closest female friend. He had known her since he had started school, and he loved her like a sister.
He could not make her cry.
Ren lay on the ground, out of energy, and let Belladonna do her work, his eyes focused somewhere on a point above her head. It hurt to move, but a part of him, a part that wasn't physical, hurt to look at her. There was a warm, glowing feeling somewhere around his back and side, and he closed his eyes, exhaling slowly.
After a few moments she was finished, and some of the pain had dissipated into nothing more than a dull ache. Belladonna's hand was hesitant on his shoulder, and Ren opened his eyes again, his gaze moving somewhere, anywhere besides her face.
"Yeah, thanks," he said quietly, and pushed himself up, wincing a little. His wings felt heavy and leaden against his back, and his stomach was settled into an awful, dead feeling of numbness that prickled at his thoughts and mind.
"Sorry," said Ren, with a horribly calm voice, in spite of the fact that his hands were doused scarlet, and looking at the stains on his fingers was making him feel nauseated and weak all over again. "Just, ah...a bad maneuver on my part, is all. I didn't, uh...think things through as much as I should have."
Her fingers felt cool and gentle on his face as she moved his hair, and a pang of regret and hated came swishing in abruptly, the nausea rising. He couldn't do this to her, not now, not after what he had just done.
"I'll be fine," said Ren, and he forced a smile. "Really, it was just a little mishap.
"Won't happen again."
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 7:14 pm
Even though her magic had worked, even though she had for the first time successfully healed someone other than herself, Belladonna still felt incredibly helpless. Pain still registered on his face, blood still caked his clothing and hands and the feathers on his wings looked all out of place. And the fact that he wouldn't look the witch in the eyes made him look horrifyingly guilty. For whatever reason, that made everything infinitely worse. "I don't think I und--" But she cut the words off as Ren sat up, both hands darting backwards before both shot back forward to help steady him. Not sure what else to do, the witch let one hand clutch at his arm, in case he decided falling back onto the ground was a good idea. Not that she'd be able to catch him, but she'd certainly try. All his disjointed words, his vagueness and confusion did not ease the witch's worry. Instead it reminded her all too fully of secrets and made her feel all the more useless. "Ren, I don't... Understand, what happened?" What could have possibly happened to cause her bright and cheerful gryphon to plummet so deeply? Never before had she seen him like this, not so fallen and broken. Eyebrows furrowed in worried concentration and the witch let her gaze drift downward in her frustration. Why did all the men she cared about continually insist on giving her half-truths? Why did they feel it necessary to-- Pink eyes flickered for a moment, unsure and quickly refocused. For a moment more the witch stared at Ren's neck, leaning forward just the tiniest bit. Uncertainty rose up for one brief second before her hand reached forward and pulled back his collar. To see that mark staring back at her, all curled and red, was akin to receiving a slap from the gryphon himself. "Not you too..." Belladonna managed as she drew her hand away quickly. The tears from before once again threatened her and to keep herself from doing something terrible, the witch let the hand that had been so close to the mark drop to her lap, where it clenched against itself painfully. "Is this because of your... Your mark? Are you so hurt and broken because... Because of this cause?" The witch managed in a strained, clipped voice. It wasn't fair to get angry about this, not to her and certainly not to Ren. With a deep breath and closed eyes, Belladonna concentrated on shifting her anger to anything else... "And please..." The voice that spoke was too fragile for her liking, so she took another quick breath, but struggled to look him in the eye. "Do not bother lying... I know about..." The clenched hand momentarily unclenched to vaguely gesture at the swirled mark on Ren's neck.
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 7:26 pm
He hated this. The look of concern on her face, the way her fingers trembled, the acrid stench of blood and rainwater still thick in the air, the way his hands were stained scarlet, the way his body felt weak, the way he knew what he was doing wasn't right, not really.
I need this.
"I'm fine," he said again, and this time he forced a smile, for Belladonna's sake, as if to reassure her that what he was saying was not a blatant lie. He was at least sitting up now, resting on his knees, still trying to figure out if he could stand without a great deal of effort.
"Really, I'm - "
But her eyes had suddenly gone wide with shock, and before he could stop her, Belladonna's fingers had reached out, tugging at his collar, pulling it down to see the all-too-obvious sigil on his neck, starkly visible against his dark, freckled skin.
"Not you too."
The color drained from Ren's face. He fought to keep himself calm, to remind himself over again that what he was doing was necessary for him, that he needed it, that the tears sparkling in Belladonna's eyes weren't because of him.
"I - " he started to say, and his voice was hoarse. Ren swallowed tightly, his hand on his knee, his shoulders stiffening. "Bells, I..."
There was no point in lying. Something in Ren's face closed off, his expression shifting, his posture rigid, as though he were defending himself against some unknown force. His wings fluttered anxiously and settled again, tail curling around one of his legs.
"I have to, Bells," he said, and his voice was low, almost urgent. "Bells, you've gotta understand, I have to."
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 8:35 pm
Too many things were happening at once. Too much was suddenly at stake. What had happened to the carefree day? What had happened to any of them? When had it become that the witch existed in a nearly constant state of anger and hurt? A ragged breath was drawn, something that was dangerously close to a sob. It would be absolutely ridiculous to cry now, over this when she had cried so often about that mark. If she were to cry now, it would feel hollow from having been executed so many times before. Pale fingers began to shake as the witch realized what exactly it was that Ren had most likely been doing. Why he was stained with blood and looked so haggard. Obviously his encounter had not gone so smoothly, it must have been harder for him. And it suddenly became so stark and clear that her precious, happy grpyhon had done something beyond himself, something bad enough that he had carefully broken himself into small little pieces and she had found him spreading the pieces out, ready to mourn what he had once known of himself. Perhaps it was the defensive posture he took, the way he seemed to pull just the slightest bit away from the witch. Honestly it could have been any number of things all wrapped up into one horrible little ball. But whatever it was made the witch slap her hands against the ground. "No." She told him, her voice low and strangely hollow sounding. With a push she was up on her feet, teetering backwards a few steps as she attempted to right herself. Hands shook with too many emotions and she couldn't find her footing. "You don't have to do anything! You don't have to be part of this cause! Good Hecate, what has she done to all of you?" The last part was mostly said to herself, both hands wildly flailing in the air. For a long moment Belladonna stood there, one fist pressed to her forehead. No matter how she looked at it, the witch just could not understand. What had possibly happened to everyone she cared about that they found it necessary to sacrifice their decency, their ideals and their goodness for this jackdamned cause?
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Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 7:05 pm
He didn't like the sound of that breath, like she was drawing in a sob, like she was drawing in breath to let out again with a pain stricken feel. He could hear the tremor as she inhaled, see out of the corner of his eye the fingers that trembled uncontrollably as she drew physically back from him, just as he had done to her.
"No."
Belladonna's voice was weaker, but at the same time her hands had slapped against the ground so hard that it startled Ren, and he jerked backwards, eyes widening. She was standing now, unsteadily as though if she swayed she would tumble over.
And then her voice was stronger, and she was almost yelling at him, Ren lifted his hands, pressing curled fingers to either side of his face, his ears flattening back against his rain soaked hair, his knees drawing up in an almost defensive position. His wings gave a flap, a few feathers drifting off, and his tail curled around his leg, and he suddenly hated everything, the way his fingers were shaking, the way his chest clenched tight, the way she was looking at him with tear filled eyes, the way she cared -
"You don't understand," he whispered. "No, no, no, no - "
He didn't remember getting to his feet, but then he was, and his legs felt weak, hardly supporting his body, and he took a step backwards, unable to bear the expression Belladonna wore on her face.
"I have no choice!" Ren shouted, and there was a plea to his voice, galling him. "You don't understand, I have to - there's no other way - "
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Posted: Thu Sep 27, 2012 8:50 pm
For one quick moment the witch whirled around, eyebrows drawn down in anger and opened her mouth to actually shout at him. To scream that this was stupid, that he'd given his entire being up to something he didn't understand because Medea didn't see Ren, she just saw a mass of soldiers willing to do her bidding. To yell at him that'd already traded so much already, already lost whatever it was he'd been trying to reclaim because this cause lowered him to slaughtering innocents. To raise her voice to impolite levels and be angry because why wouldn't he tell her? Why would he lie to her? And just as the first note of derision left her mouth the witch snapped it shut with the realization it wasn't Ren she was angry at. While it would have been easy to just dump all of this onto the gryphon, he hadn't lied to her, he hadn't meant to hurt her. An angry sigh left the witch then, mostly because she had almost gotten angry at the wrong person. It wasn't even that she was still angry at Mort for this all too familiar scene so much as that she was just angry at this whole jackdamned cause. What was supposed to be noble had been so thoroughly cheapened and no one say that but her. The quick, little 'no's made the anger fade from the witch and when he stood, backing away, Belladonna felt guilty for her anger. But she refused to stand there and watch him hurt like this, absolutely refused to keep looking at that face so full of pain. Quick steps brought her closer and softly, in case he balked at the motion, the witch wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face into his chest. It had been a long time since she'd hugged Ren quite in this manner and it felt so comforting that she was able to let go of all the unresolved feelings she'd had toward this exact scenario and Mort. "There is always another way. And if you can't find it, you make it." She told him, her words muffled by fabric. With a sigh she kept her face down, because it was easier, if a bit cowardly, to not look at him for a few moments. "What do you need? What can I do to help?"
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Posted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 9:17 am
He hadn't lied to her - he didn't have a choice, there was no other choice. There was only one path and he had to go down it or lose right where he stood. His fingers lifted, touched the mark on his neck, and his skin tingled, almost as though it were burning - a brand, like a pig marked for slaughter.
Ren saw Belladonna open her mouth, an angry sound escaping her lips, but then she shut it and she seemed to wilt, the fury seeping out of her. Her footsteps were soft on the ground, but the arms that wrapped around his middle were strong and firm, and her face pressed into his chest, her long scarlet hair falling around her shoulders like a red curtain.
He froze where he stood, his shoulders tensing, his mouth opening and closing like a gaping fish needing water. Belladonna's affection for him, the way she had always been one of his closest friends - after what he had just said, the pain she had just caused him - she was still willing to stay beside him, even hug him, in spite of the fact that he was covered in human blood - and his own - and rainwater that made his hair stick to his neck unpleasantly.
All of the fight went out of him. Ren's wings gave a weak flutter and he lifted his arms, wrapped them around Belladonna's shoulders and hugged her back, his face in her hair. She felt so small - how had she gotten this small?
"I don't have a way to make," he said bleakly, his words barely audible. "What I have is not enough for what I need."
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Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 11:10 pm
It took a long while before Ren felt it safe, or at least acceptable, to return Belladonna's hug, but when he finally wrapped his arms around her she relaxed against him. There was still some pain to work through, still some anguish that she would do her best to extract, in whatever way she could. It felt nearly monumental to even attempt, but Belladonna only shook her head against Ren's chest. This was not the first time she'd found someone covered in blood and entrenched in their own despair. It would take time, and a concentrated effort, but the witch was a stubborn thing, and only turned her face so that her temple pressed against him. "You do have a way. You just cannot see it yet." Finally the witch heaved a sigh before she pulled back, rocking back onto her heels so she could peer up at the gryphon. "That is the funny thing about friends. They give you what you need when you do not have enough for yourself."An odd look crossed her face, one that wanted to smile and let him know that things were going to be alright. That this too would pass. But instead the witch only took a step back before she grabbed one of his hands and pulled. It was meant for him to follow as she toddled over to a nearby tree, sure to pull him along with her. Once under the shade she gestured for him to sit, to once more lower himself to the ground so that standing would not be such a burden. Belladonna was quick to follow, sure to adequately poof out her skirts before she tilted her head to one side. "Would it be better to talk, or would you like to rest for a bit more? I can try to heal you some more. I haven't ever gotten it to work before, so maybe this would be a good time to practice."It was a small offer, hardly anything compared to the pain Ren surely felt. But it was still something. Belladonna was still here, ready to do whatever she could to help him. That was mostly evident in the way she smiled at him lightly, cautious of his pain, but with a tender hand on his shoulder, a light brush of fingertips against his arm. Anything to help.
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 7:33 pm
His life, once so great, once so filled with joy and a pleasure of having LW, of having Jove, Tybalt, even Gabrian and Alessa, long gone now, felt as though it were spinning out of control, slipping out of his fingers, dissipating into nothingness. Things were never as easy as they seemed, nor were they always going to turn out the way he wanted them to, no matter how hard he tried.
He would never be strong enough.
Belladonna felt so small in his arms, but familiar and warm and Ren stood there for a moment, letting himself surrender to the moment, this single moment in time where nothing had to be done and he did not have to explain himself to anyone. Her voice washed over him like a warm wave, and he closed his eyes briefly, inhaling slowly.
But he could not stay like this for long. He loved her, and he appreciated her kindness more than he could say right now - but she was wrong. He did not have a way out, only a way further in.
She pulled back and he looked down at her petite form, the stubborn expression on her face that indicated she was not about to give up on him, not anytime soon. Ren had seen that expression many times, and somehow, strangely, it comforted him. He let her pull him over to the tree and then sank down gratefully to the ground beside her and leaned his head back against it. He had not realized just how tired standing made him until he was no longer doing it, and now he did not quite feel up to moving just yet.
"Bells," he said quietly, and turned his head to look at her, opening his eyes. There was something dark in him, something he himself could not understand - a sense of loss, of bitter despair that sank deep into his heart.
"Don't tell LW. Or Jove. Please."
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