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 Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 2:09 pm
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Maji ||
He had hoped, badly, that his new family would fill the gaping hole in his heart. Perhaps the birth of a new family would somehow ease the constant ache of having never seen his first litter.... did he have sons? Daughters? How many did he sire? Did they have his eyes? Their mother's beautiful smile? These questions chewed at an aching sore spot in the pit of his chest without relenting and often during the lonely hours of the night. However, with the new life came an all too sudden death.
Their mother had been a beautiful lioness. Pale as the moon with hints of a dusty brown. She had been a hungry, frightened thing along the border of their territory. So much like Ciyari had been... she was small in stature and thin in frame. He had slipped out of the territory in the dark of night when the mists were at their thickest to meet with her, bring her half of his share from the day's kill, and speak with her.
While he hadn't felt...quite so strongly towards her as he had Ciyari, there was a small ember of effection towards the lioness that had grown over the passing weeks. She came to find comfort against his side and within weeks, he frame had filled out and her coat had taken on a healthy shine. Soon her belly had rounded out and the lioness had the happy glow of an expecting mother about her. She was hesitant to join a pride but that night, she had agreed to cross into the lands to bear her children in the land that wold be their home.
Maji pressed his chin to his chest and slowly shut his eyes. They hadn't been far from the border when she'd gone into laber... it had been too soon, too sudden. It had hurt her, torn her, and in the end, it had cost her everything. The cubs were small, helpless...and already without their mother. He'd never known his...and they would never know theirs. Perhaps it was the god's idea of a joke. A cruel one...
Thank the gods for the seers though. The oracles that spoke the language of the soul. Durian and his lady companion, along with his companion, Kisulisuli, and another oracle named Mavar had come just in time to help the new father get his offspring to safety. While it had taken some convining, little Tifu had agreed to be the cubs' wetnurse until Maji was able to care for them himself.
She was exhausted...and terrified from the visions that the physical contect had provoked. It was a sacrifice on her part and Maji couldn't be more remorseful. Tifu had excused herself alongside Suli and the others had departed to their own affairs. Maji sat in his den with the small, fragile bodies of his sons curled inbetween his paws. They were impossibly small, each of them sleeping with the warm comfort of a full belly and their father's warmth.
Pitsiark ||
Everything had happened so suddenly and so fast. Pitsiark was even more sure now that she did not want the burden that the orcales carried with them. She'd had never known if it wasn't for Durian and the other orcales visions. The lioness had seen so much death in her short life but nothing was more heart breaking than seeing how the cubs were now for ever denied their mother.
Pitsiark lingered in the cave. She was not ready to depart with the others just yet. The cubs them selves were so small. So helpless. The female could only stare with a heavy heart. What was she to say? She was sorry? That would be completely pointless. Of course everyone was sorry for what had happened but there was nothing anyone could do to actually bring that lioness back.
Pitsiark didn't even know her name. She'd be another ghost in the mists. Another sad memory. They'd not been here so long and already sadness was upon them.
"...."
Words seemed to have escaped her.
Maji ||
Maji took solstice in the quiet company of his fellow pride member. He'd learned names and faces but he'd not spoken to many. There was a hesitation about him when it came to females. The wounds inflicted over a lifetime at the paws of the fair gender had left its mark. It took time, and while he was hesitant he was never outright unfriendly or defensive. Many of the new Magi were females and while he was kindly enough and served as a good mentor, there was always a distance kept safely between himself and his students.
His expression tightened as a tiny paw stretched out and rested against his leg. He saw more of himself in the little ones than the lioness... perhaps that was the hardest thing of all.
"...they...they're so small. I never knew....cubs were so small."
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 9:18 pm
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Pitsiark ||
The female dipped her head a bit a little uncertain if she should say anything or just turn. Cubs were small. She wasn't sure what else to say. Was he speaking just because she was there?
"They are. Small." Her head remained down and her ears pinned a little back. She stayed put even though her gut was telling her to pack on out of the cave. She stayed put and watched.
Maji ||
It was an obvious observation for certain but it was all he could think to say... they were so small, so fragile, so delicate and helpless. How could they depend on him for survival? He was so sure that he wanted a family and so sure that he could learn to be a father...but he never expected to learn alone. He realized, with a sinking feeling in the pit of his gut, that he hadn't truly loved the lioness that he'd laid with that night... he liked her, he cared for her, and he did admire her... but he didn't love her. He realized that perhaps the feelings he had were those he held for Ciyari, his love for the notion of love, and the desire for a family. He had taken a life... indirect as it was, for his own selfish ambitions for his own life. She might have been alive... if not for him.
He couldn't regret it... even though one life had left the world, there were many new ones... if they could survive this dangerous stage. He curled his paw protectively around the young cub that had started to weakly crawl out of the protective circle of his paws. Choking on a lump in his throat he slowly lowered his head, his eyes shut.
"Pitsiark... it is getting very late. Perhaps you should get to your den. It feels like rain tonight..." He said quietly, sadly. The poor lioness.. she didn't seem comfortable at all. "...thank you for your assistance. I will... need some time before I can return to your lessons."
Pitsiark ||
Relief. Maji had given her that. She was free to go now and she would gladly. However she couldn't help feel a little ashamed at her self for being so relieved. She felt like a heartless monster for just wanting to turn tail and catch up with the others.
"I understand," Was all she could say in a hushed voice. What else was there to say? Shortly after she turned tail and left Maji to his new family. Her heart was completely heavy and completely shamed. Every step she got further from Maji was quicker than the last.
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Posted: Sun Sep 23, 2012 9:26 pm
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