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 Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 12:45 pm
“The weather needs to hurry up and cool off. This is gross,” Paris complained, lifting one of his hands to fan at himself as he and Chris ambled down the side-walk lining a strip of boutiques.
He shouldn’t have been surprised by the heat or the humidity, considering it was only the beginning of September and the weather was unlikely to cool that quickly (especially when he wanted it to, it always seemed to do the exact opposite), but today somehow seemed even more unpleasant than usual, probably because he was also in the midst of shopping for a gift for someone he had not gifted anything to in a long time—his mother.
They could have gone to the indoor mall, of course, but he’d been there enough recently, and Chris had always seemed to enjoy the fancier, outdoor strips better than a mall that was too often crowded with obnoxious high school kids. Paris liked to assume it was mainly due to the rowdy behavior often exhibited by the malls other patrons that kept Chris from enjoying it as fully, but he had a tiny suspicion that Chris preferred these shops and boutiques because many of them were… well, a bit more high class.
“This is what I get for wearing jeans today,” Paris continued, glancing at a few of the stores they passed as he tried to get back to the actual reason of them being there that day. “God, I don’t even know what to get. What are you supposed to get your mom who's recently moved back after being away for eight years when she’s about to have another baby that you sort of feel jealous of?”
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 5:38 pm
"I don't mind it," Chris said off handedly, amused by the whining that was coming from his boyfriend. Of all the things Paris could complain about in his life, he doubted the weather was very high on the list of things that distress him. It was more of a nuisance than anything, and it wasn't as if they could do anything to change the weather. "Maybe you should add 'check the high and low of the day' in to your schedule," he teased lightly, lifting a hand to ruffle Paris's freshly cut bangs. "That was a joke," he added, just in case Paris took it more personally than it had been intended.
He knew Paris was doing his best with keeping to a set schedule, or at least an approximate one. If this was something that could help him find balance in a rather chaotic life, then he wasn't going to complain or say anything to discourage him... The occasional teasing, however...
"Get her something for the baby...?" he suggested with a shrug, lifting the fruit smoothie in his other hand to his lips to take a sip. He'd bought for himself and Paris to share. That way Paris had his hands free to browse. And Chris wasn't that thirsty to begin with.
"You could always go with a gift card... Or jewelry. Your mom likes jewelry, right? Candles?" Okay, so he didn't really know what girls liked, but at least he was trying...?
"Don't be jealous," he continued with a small sigh, although still relatively amused. "Unless you're afraid the baby will be cuter then..." He grinned as he trailed off. It was just a joke!
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Posted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 9:14 pm
“Babies smell,” Paris grumbled in reply. He didn’t know if this was true or not since he didn’t make it a point to be around babies all that often, but anyone who sat around in a diaper full of s**t had to smell terrible. “And they puke everywhere,” he added, and then paused, thought for a moment, and smirked, “Although I guess I’m not all that different, so maybe you’re right.”
He lifted up one of his arms to fake taking a whiff. The puking comment went without any sort of explanation, but then he didn’t think he needed to provide one.
If Chris was allowed to joke, then Paris allowed to crack jokes about himself right back.
He did, however, quickly show his boyfriend a look of remorse. He knew the puking jokes never went over very well, nor could he really blame people for being uncomfortable when he poked a bit of fun and a rather serious problem, but as he was moving passed all that to the best of his abilities, he didn’t see why he shouldn’t be able to treat it the same way he’d treat almost anything else. It was his problem to joke about. It wasn’t as if he was going around making fun of anyone else.
But that wasn’t the point of this outing, or even the point of the conversation, so he let it go without further comment, snagging the smoothie from Chris to take a large sip through the straw.
“I don’t have a clue what mom likes, honestly,” he admitted, getting back to the original topic. “She’s either at work, at the gym, ranting at the news on the TV, or watching reruns of old shows. I don’t want to get anything for the baby. That brat already has enough junk and it’s not even born yet. I figure Mom could use a few presents, too, but hell if I know what she’d like. A giftcard doesn’t seem all that thoughtful, and a candle is just… sort of meaningless, I guess. I mean, it’s just a candle.”
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 4:21 am
They don't smell," he nearly laughed, a grin still on his face. Well, they smelled when they had a dirty diaper of course, but other than that, they usually smelled like baby powder. Not that he was a great advocate to babies... He had a good number of cousins, and Peter was eight years younger than he was, so he remembered when there had been diapers and all that nonsense at the house... But other than that, his experience with babies was at a minimum.
Chris's teasing grin quickly faded when Paris joked about himself, meeting his look of remorse with one of his own, mixed with some distress and concern. Paris making himself sick was not something he would like to go through again. As long as they could keep him from getting too stressed, there was no need for his boyfriend to feel the desire to purge himself of all the horrible things going on in his life through expelling everything in his stomach.
Allowing the drink to be taken from him, Chris placed his now freed hand into the pocket of his shorts. "Let's just pick a store and look inside, okay?" he suggested, done with teasing for a little while. Yes, Paris could make fun of himself since he was being teased, but Chris preferred it not be about serious issues. Maybe he was just being too uptight about the whole thing, but he couldn't help it if he was wary when Paris had already put himself in the hospital because of it.
"My mom's easy to buy for... Okay, maybe not that easy, but she's always doing something new, so it's not too difficult to grab a box of paintbrushes or other crafts for her. Sometimes she just likes things to decorate the house or cookbooks," he explained, hoping that would give Paris a little more motivation.
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:22 am
“You,” Paris accused, “are not helping.”
He didn’t sound angry or even particularly annoyed, but he was already beginning to get a bit flustered and they hadn’t even really done much shopping yet, just roamed down the sidewalk looking at a few stores here and there but only going into a couple when something struck Paris’s fancy. He remained notably empty-handed—apart from the smoothie—and the longer he remained outside in the sticky heat without any clue as to what he wanted to get, the more frazzled he became with the entire idea.
He supposed it wasn’t such a shock that he was currently at a loss. He hadn’t been very close to his mother since before she’d left, and then he’d been too young to think of getting her something more than a childishly drawn picture or some other craft he’d made in art class. There were times when he thought his presence should be enough; she should feel lucky he’d even let her so far back into his life after she’d been gone for so long—though he would admit even when she’d been absent she hadn’t been completely absent. There’d been phone calls and birthday cards and gifts of money and visits at certain times of the year. It simply hadn’t been like the first ten years of his life.
And then, of course, there were other times when he thought he should try to be a better son—a thought that always had him thinking about his father and all the things he regretted about that situation.
Paris didn’t want something similar to happen with his mother, too.
“Fine, let’s just look at jewelry or something,” he finally decided, catching site of a store off to his right and grabbing on to Chris’s arm to steer him in that direction. “She can’t say I didn’t try.”
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 5:15 pm
Chris held himself back from grinning once more. There was something unexplainably comforting about being in Paris's presence that kept him calm and light hearted, despite the various disagreements and tense moments they might share. The nonchalant comment about Paris making himself sick had already passed and with the tug at his arm, he willingly allowed himself to be pulled off to the nearest jewelry store in the long line of boutique-like shops.
"How can you say I'm not helping?" he returned to the topic even though it had already passed, still amused by his boyfriend's flustered complaints. "I'm here, aren't I? We could have just ordered something online," he shrugged, but he didn't think Paris would like that as much as being able to actually see what he was getting. Paris seemed to be much more of the hands-on kind of person, needing to feel and touch and see for himself. Anything else seemed just... too passive.
There was a small jewelry store less than half a block away and across the street. The windows featured various necklaces and bracelets draped over silk cloths and pillows for their exhibition. All in locked, glass boxes, of course... but it still made a statement.
"What about earrings? What's her birthstone?" he wondered casually as they crossed the threshold and into the shop. A little bell announced their arrival and a couple of the employees looked up to see who had entered. There was one working on some kind of finance work with another customer, and another was behind the counter, apparently doing something important on the computer. Chris ignored them and took his turn to lead Paris to the glass, reaching out to take the smoothie away from him. "She doesn't seem like the bracelet type... I don't know, have you seen her with bracelets? Maybe you should get her a necklace...."
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 5:43 pm
Paris rolled his eyes and huffed a bit as they made their way into the store, trying not to feel immediately uncomfortable by the new environment.
It wasn’t that he didn’t like jewelry. It was alright, as accessories went. He had quite a few pieces that he wore often, and he liked it very much when Chris bought earrings and necklaces for him—he paired the necklace Chris had bought him for his birthday with every outfit imaginable—but Paris rarely ever went out of his way to go look at jewelry on his own. He didn’t even pay much attention to it with other people around unless they happened to point out something nice to him. It just didn’t attract his attention the way other things did.
He didn’t know where to start. The glass cases spoke of value and the sparkling gemstones screamed money. He couldn’t decide what his mother would wear, or if she’d even like it, or if he should just immediately back out of the store and find something less daunting.
“I’ve only ever seen her wear one necklace,” he said. For some reason, probably because of their surroundings, Paris felt the need to keep his voice low, and his muttering came out as half a whisper. He neglected to mention that the necklace in question was little more than a thin chain supporting his mother’s wedding ring and the fifth anniversary sapphire ring she’d always worn in place of the engagement ring that never was.
“I don’t know what her birthstone is,” he continued, doing his best not to start thinking about his father. “What’s it for May? Diamond? No, isn’t that April? Maybe it’s an emerald…”
He looked through the glass cases closest to them, scanning over the bracelets and the necklaces and trying to find something that might suit his mother. The truth was he had absolutely no idea. He’d always been terrible at figuring out what sort of gifts to buy for other people; shopping for his mother was ten times more difficult than anyone else. Frazzled, he moved along the line of cases to quickly search for the perfect something he doubted actually existed, something that might cause his brain to light up with a sudden “ah ha!” only to find himself unintentionally making the transition from necklaces to rings.
And that was when things got awkward.
“Can I help you?” one of the chipper sales ladies asked.
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:03 pm
"I think it's emerald..." he agreed, although he would admit that he really had no idea. Emerald just sounded right... For all he knew it could be a ruby or sapphire. He wasn't really into things like that, after all. The chipper sales lady interrupted his thoughts though, as he peered into the cases.
"Just looking for now, I think," he said with a small smile and glance in the woman's direction. Chris then glanced over to his boyfriend beside him and took a moment to appraise Paris's demeanor. It was obvious that he felt out of place. Maybe not to the typical passerby, but he'd known Paris for the good chunk of two years. It was easy to pick up on his emotions by just the expression on his face and the brightness of his eyes. Right now, he was uncomfortable and seemed to be struggling with something that bothered him. What that was... Chris could only guess. While they were close, it was still sometimes difficult to get Paris to talk to him about how he felt... But that was okay, because he had a therapist to work that out with him.
"An engagement ring, perhaps?" the lady pushed, and Chris nearly choked on the large sip of drink he'd just taken.
He loved Paris, of course! But getting engaged?? That was a little too much too fast! Not that this lady knew their relationship at all! She was just trying to make a sale, or something... And it wasn't as though Paris hadn't been hanging onto his arm, and Chris had been eyeing him concernedly. He just... hadn't expected the suggestion.
Chris coughed from unintentionally inhaling the liquid, turning away from both Paris and the concerned woman at the counter so he could hack and wheeze and wipe the tears from his eyes. The others in the store were now glancing warily in his direction, probably wondering if they should leave him be or if they should ask if he needed anything. He'd prefer to be ignored and for them to allow him to keep his embarrassment to himself, thanks.
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:21 pm
Paris was experiencing a similar problem.
He didn’t choke, or cough, or flinch at the question, but instead immediately froze and stood rooted to the spot, staring at the sales lady as if she’d asked one of the strangest questions he’d ever heard in his life.
And it was strange, because no one should ask that about he or Chris.
Ever.
“I… I’m sorry, what…?” he asked, suddenly feeling terribly confused and wondering if he’d heard her right. Maybe it was a joke? It didn’t sound like a joke, but it could be that she just failed at humor. There was absolutely no way she’d seriously just asked what he thought she’d asked, because that was just… stupid and illogical… and really, really, really awkward with Chris standing right there nearly asphyxiating from a strawberry-banana smoothie.
“Umm…”
He looked between the sales lady and the case full of rings. Dozens and dozens of sparkling rings—gold and silver and platinum, but above all… diamonds. They twinkled at him almost as if they were mocking him, laughing at his discomfort and forcing him to remember why they and everything they represented should be a loud and immediate “no”—because people should just not get married. Not him, not anyone. It spoke disaster for a relationship like nothing else did.
“We have a nice collection if you’d like to take a look,” the sales lady offered. “Have you thought about your budget?”
“I… umm… a budget?”
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:36 pm
No no, don't worry about him. He was just dying.
Chris coughed a few more times before he felt like he was able to control himself, waving off another salesman who finally spoke up to offer him some water. He didn't need water. He needed to be able to disappear completely. He and Paris were way too young.
Besides, he was pretty sure Paris abhorred the idea of marriage.
"N-no budget," he coughed again, lifting a hand this time to emphasize that he was okay, even if he really wasn't.
"Oh, splendid!" the woman practically cheered, misinterpreting his stutter as meaning that money was no object. Not that it was, but that wasn't the point! "You would look stunning in a platinum band. Over in this case we have some lovely options," she insisted, using her lifted hand to magically usher them over to the next set of rings.
What the hell was going on right now?? Chris tried to object, but he ended up coughing again.
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Posted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:51 pm
This time Paris did flinch, because the sound of Chris’s voice was like a shock to his system, and there was no way Chris could possibly be agreeing to this whole awkward charade, because that was just abnormally stupid even for Chris!
“Christopher,” he hissed, though he had yet to take his eyes off of the sales lady and her cases of fine jewelry. The whisper sounded somewhat desperate. Anyone who knew him well—as Chris most certainly did—would be able to hear the frantic “save me” hidden not too far beneath it.
Against his better judgment, against everything inside that was telling him to run screaming and flee the store in a dramatic display, Paris found himself allowing the sales lady to usher him closer. It was terrible. She crooked her finger, all evil and conniving, and his feet unintentionally shuffled forward, bringing him closer to the glass displays. He swallowed thickly and tried to control himself, but it was not to be. He stood very still and very straight and felt a bit like the clichéd deer caught in the headlights.
It became apparent to him very quickly that this young woman probably noticed their awkwardness and discomfort and had decided to ignore it for the sake of attempting to make a sale. The fact that she immediately went to the platinum clued him in a bit more. Of course she’d go to the most expensive option when Chris went and opened his big mouth and made it seem like the price didn’t matter, and if that wasn’t what he’d meant, if he’d meant to say they weren’t really looking at the moment—which they weren’t, for ******** sake—then the sales lady either didn’t realize the meaning or chose to overlook it.
Jewelers were ******** evil money-sucking bastards as far as Paris was concerned.
“Is there any particular style you like?” she asked, all sweet and overwhelmingly helpful, pointing to a particular ring as she said, “The princess cut is very popular.”
“I… I don’t… really like princess cut…” Paris mumbled.
“Round? Cushion? Those are fairly popular as well,” she said, pointing to each in turn.
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:09 am
Chris stared at Paris in his subtle call for help, shocked that he would think that he'd agree to this at all! They had only recently gotten back together! There was no way their relationship had developed to that point.
"We're not getting engaged," he finally forced out so the lady would hopefully back off and let Paris have some breathing room. Still coughing lightly, he moved over to stand by his boyfriend in support, ready to pull him away from the case if he looked like he needed to be rescued further.
"Oh," the lady responded, looking between Chris and Paris, and then back at Chris in an almost judging manner, but not enough to be unprofessional. It was... just the right amount of accusation in her eyes to have Chris flush lightly in embarrassment. "I apologize. I assumed you were together."
"We are!" he quickly corrected her, nearly sputtering again as the gulp of smoothie sloshed sickeningly in his lungs... Okay, it wasn't that dramatically horrible, but he had just inhaled liquid. "We are together... Just... not looking for an engagement ring..."
"Yet...?" the lady pushed, the look she gave him almost certainly asking if he was planning on breaking up with Paris or something crazy like that.
"I- what? No! I... we hadn't... talked..." It wasn't that he didn't think they were compatible! Just... Paris was still a teenager! Or something lame like that.
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:35 am
And it just got more and more uncomfortable from there.
The way the sales lady was looking at Chris… it wasn’t outright mean, but Paris could sense some level of disappointment or dissatisfaction—whether it was because she thought she wasn’t going to be able to make a sale after all, or if she couldn’t understand why Chris hadn’t even thought of proposing when they were clearly together and in a jewelry store ostensibly looking at rings was not something Paris was currently able to decipher. All he knew what that the entire encounter was giving him a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.
He didn’t know what to say.
What was he supposed to say? His first instinct was to deny everything, answer all of her comments with a rebuttal and get the visit back on track, but then he was also very conscious of not upsetting Chris. It was bad enough that this sort of conversation had to happen when they’d only been back together for about a month and a half. The only reason they’d even taken a break was because Chris had been unsure and uncomfortable and just didn’t get it.
Now that he did… to have this pushed on them? Paris finally forced himself to glance at Chris out of the corner of his eye and make sure they weren’t about to have another relationship crisis on their hands. Luckily that didn’t seem to be the case—yet. If anything, Paris was more uncomfortable about it than Chris. At least his boyfriend actually had the wherewithal to make corrections. Paris just...
He didn’t want to say “yes” to the idea because he didn’t think there was any way marriage could or should ever be in the picture, but then he didn’t want to say “no” in case… in case… well, he didn’t really know what Chris thought about it, and his parents had a much more stable relationship than Paris’s, so… maybe Chris didn’t think of it as such a bad thing.
“Well, there’s no harm in looking,” the sales lady smiled broadly and continued, sensing Paris’s hesitation and probably getting the wrong idea from it. “Just so you’ll have an idea in your head when the time comes, hmm? So what do you think of the round or the cushion cut?”
“Umm…” Paris shook his head. He tried to focus on what he should be saying rather than what his brain actually decided on doing, but his eyes drifted back down to the case regardless. “I don’t… I mean… not really. They’re too… umm… sparkly… I guess. Kind of… kind of tacky.”
“Oh, well if that’s the case…” she continued, sliding over to another display and bringing his attention to the rings inside of it. “You might like an emerald cut diamond. They’re really stunning. Not as fiery as the round cut, so you’re not going to get that incredible sparkle, but if you’ll look at the long lines… you’ll have broader flashes of light. Very dramatic. It gives the diamond a more elegant and sophisticated look.”
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 9:41 am
The look Paris gave him had Chris hesitating for a few moments. He couldn't understand the concern in his eyes, or whether or not this woman was upsetting Paris, or if Paris was more wary about his reaction.
After all, Paris hadn't said anything to... rebuke the offer to look at rings. Oh God, what if Paris actually did want to get married?? They were way too young, for one, and their lives were kind of occupied with school and a war. But Paris kept going on with the woman as she pointed out various cuts.
"Paris, can I talk to you??" he finally forced out, eyeing the woman as she attempted to pull a ring out for Paris to see. So much for shopping for his mother!! Of course, he had been his suggestion to look at jewelry.
Chris reached out to take hold of Paris's arm, pulling him away from the counter and ask in a hoarse whisper. "Do you want a ring??" He felt his stomach churn uncomfortably and he suddenly wished he'd inhaled a lot more of the smoothie so he would still be hacking away instead of having this conversation. Paris was hesitating and seemed too out of it to really... know what he was doing...
But what if he did? What if he was totally expecting a ring?? Chris felt another flutter of something akin to panic in his stomach as he shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other, the sales lady standing and waiting with the same bright smile.
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 11:24 am
Unprepared for the sudden forced motion, Paris stumbled as Chris grabbed onto his arm and pulled him away.
At first he was relieved, assuming Chris meant to take him out of the store entirely and pretend this whole fiasco had never even happened, push it away until such a time that they could reexamine it and laugh over it as an amusing misunderstanding sometime in the future. Then, when that turned out not to be the case, the queasy feeling in the pit of Paris’s stomach returned with a vengeance.
“W-What…?” he asked weakly, staring at Chris in surprise before tearing his eyes away to nervously glance around the store instead, whispering harshly, “You can’t just ask me something like that!”
How was he supposed to answer? What did Chris want? Should they have talked about this before? Should they be talking about it now?
Paris didn’t have a clue. His brain had never really provided him with thoughts of marriage. He tended to shy away from those sorts of conversations no matter who was having them. None of it could ever end well, and with how things had been going between them since… well, practically since they’d met, he didn’t think that was something they should even be aiming for any time soon. Sure, he wanted to be with Chris, preferably for a very, very long time, but… but…
But he didn’t know how to say any of that without potentially hurting Chris’s feelings or causing him to think Paris expected something he truly didn’t.
“Do you want me to have a ring?” he said instead. Let Chris deal with the pressure of the question, because Paris was much too busy freaking out. “Do you want a ring?”
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