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 Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 3:52 am
 It had been a few weeks since Jazi had met Taabika. Just as planned, the leopard had helped her regain some of her lost condition and made sure no one got close enough to scare her, in his attempt to both help and show her that not all strangers – males, in particular – were a threat to the dark lioness. Not according to plan, however, was the fact that Jazi was suddenly realizing just how much he’d become accustomed to the lioness’ presence. It made him surprisingly happy to see how beautiful she had become, the little signs of trust she gave him and just how she’d started to blossom within this relationship.
He was high up in a tree, blue eyes examining their surroundings and she was below. His gaze fell to Taabika who he watched for a few moments in silence. He’d never felt lonely before but even now he could that he would miss her terribly when she left. Solitary existences were common when it came to leopards but Jazi was certain that Taabika’s soft voice, unobtrusive presence and the sense of closeness and purpose that came with helping the lioness were things we did not wish to forget. And yet, for all the trust that they seemed to share, she was still cautious with him and made sure to avoid any kind of physical contact between them. And Jazi was starting to realize why that hurt so much.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 3:38 pm
At this very moment, she could feel his eyes upon her. The sensation was familiar and very nearly welcome now. It meant she wasn't alone. She no longer flinched from the sensation, because he had proven himself ten times over. He never attempted to touch her, taking her words seriously. As yet she hadn't told him why she refused to be touched. How did one explain such a nonsensical thing to a friend who was true and gentle as he? She had avoided the subject, truth be told. He was patient, though, and had not pressed her.
No, instead he had hunted for her for a time, and then assisted her in hunting, so that they now took turns. Neither of them ever tackled anything very big, for she was delicate for a lioness, and leopards were small to begin with. Thus it was smaller game they hunted, but it was enough. She wondered idly, squinting in the newly risen sun's beams, if they should choose a place to go, or whether they should remain wanderers, going hither and yon as mood struck them. For though she had not voiced it, she saw only a future of remaining close to the one person she could trust in the world. Why would she want to leave him?
"Which direction will we go today?" she asked quietly. She no longer whispered or stuttered, but she rarely raised her voice at all. In fact, had he not been used to her soft voice, he might have missed what she said entirely, being up high above as he was.
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Posted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 4:16 am
Jazi had always remained close to the area where he’d met Taabika, the only place he’d ever known and where he remained close to some of his family member who still lived in those lands. To leave so suddenly on such an unexpected journey with someone he barely knew had been an uncharacteristic decision but he’d made the dark lioness his priority from the moment he’d met her and, quite honestly, he couldn’t really imagine not having this newfound purpose in his life.
As he was watching her, it was easy to notice her soft words but even if he’d been looking the other way, the leopard was so attuned to the quiet sound of her voice that Jazi believed he’d be able to hear every word she uttered in the middle of a storm.
“Anywhere we want.” He said with a smile, standing up slowly and stretching before making his way down the trunk of the tree. As usual, he maintained a precise distance from the dark lioness when he hit the ground. This distance had slowly grown smaller with time but the leopard was very strict when it came to not crossing an invisible line that he’d now accepted at an unconscious level. “Perhaps against the wind? It’s good for hunting.”
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Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:16 am
That suited her just fine, and for once she left her cowl laid back. Instead of hiding herself, she tilted her head up into the breeze, closing her eyes and savoring the sensation. It was amazing how the wind could caress her, and the grass beneath her paws could tickle her, all without pain. This reminded her that she hadn't yet told him about that, and she lowered her head to tip her head his direction thoughtfully as they began to head into the wind.
He hadn't asked her yet why she refused to be touched. No, he'd simply accepted it wordlessly and moved on, treating it as a given. She ruminatively ran her tongue along her sharp teeth. He was a good friend, found in a time of need. It didn't matter a bit to her that he wasn't a lion, her "own kind". He was kind alright, kind of heart, and that was all that mattered to her. As such a good friend, he deserved an explanation of what he'd endured thus far.
But how to go about it? She returned her gaze ahead, mulling. Often they talked as they traveled, though usually only casual things that only revealed more about the surface of who they were. Perhaps it was time to change that. She swallowed, suddenly nervous as she had not been in a while. She tried to muffle her worries of rejection and scorn, and began speaking slowly, quiet as always. "Jazi, would you like to know why I d-d-don't want t-to be t-t-touched?" Her anxiety level was skyrocketing, but the kept a grip, acknowledging to herself that it was the issue that was making her heart race, not the possible danger from her friend. He would never hurt her, physically or emotionally. This she was certain of.
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Posted: Wed Sep 26, 2012 3:49 pm
Jazi almost recoiled at the meek question, taken aback by the suddenness of it all. Did he want to know? Well, yes and no. While he had never asked, the leopard had imagined terrible things in his mind and he did not wish to make them any more vivid than they already were especially if reality turned out to be worse that whatever his mind had conjured. But a part of him did want to know and he would not be a coward and ignore an offer that had probably not been given easily.
“You can tell me. I would like to know.” He said after brief silence, deciding there was only one possible course of action in this case. “But you don’t have to.” He added softly, hoping she would know that he was not going to pressure into saying more than she was ready.
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 2:19 pm
She swallowed hard, eyes searching for somewhere to rest that could hold her attention and distract her from this truth. It wasn't the sharing she was afraid of, after all. She knew better, now. Once she hadn't, but by now he had proven himself above and beyond anyone she'd met who wasn't related to her. In fact, he probably would and had done better than her own siblings, who hadn't been quite so careful all the time. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to slow down her speech, to minimize the stuttering, and to face this head on.
"If... some...one....... touches..... me....," she began, forcibly relaxing her muscles and trying to focus on the sway of her steps, the wind in her fur, the gleam of sunlight on some distant waterhole. "I-I.... don't.... know..... why....," she took a breath, then took the plunge, "b-but... that..... t-touch..... h-hurts.... me." The last word was said almost as a squeak, and she ducked her head, much as she used to, as if preparing for a blow. She didn't stay that way, though, instead jerking her head side to side as if shaking off whatever held her down, then sliding him a meek and worried side-ways look, waiting for his reaction.
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Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2012 11:02 am
Well, Jazi had expected many things. A tragic story of abuse had been his best bet – he suspected one might still come eventually – but he hadn’t expected… that. It sounded like a something out of a fantasy tale or perhaps a curse from one of those winged lions that Jazi had never met. If he hadn’t known Taabika for a while now and come to trust her opinion on most things, he would’ve thought himself the target of a very strange joke.
“Always? With anyone? Even family?” He was a rational creature. If he couldn’t bring himself to mistrust the lioness, his mind sought other venues to bring him back to comfortable ground. To his credit, apart from a rather confused expression, Jazi was reacting pretty well to this odd revelation. “Did you ever meet one of those… God guys that lions talk about?”
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Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 11:26 am
She gulped and nodded in tiny, jerky movements. "Always. Except...," she paused, took a breath, and went on slowly again. "Except... for... my.... mother." There, that wasn't so hard, was it? Of course it was! She cleared her throat and stared straight ahead, still braced for this sharing session. She spoke again, a soft murmur, almost as if talking to herself, though clearly it was meant for Jazi's ears. "I have always thought it was because she was a my mother. Something about a mother-child bond that even this could not break."
She shot him an anxious look. What would he think? Surely he wouldn't think she was making it up? She momentarily considered having him touch her, just to show him she was being truthful, but swiftly dismissed the idea. First, she hated to think of how it would make him feel if she made him touch her, and saw how it pained her. It didn't seem very good for their friendship. And second, if he didn't already believe her, he could always think she was faking her reaction as well. Not to mention the fact that it would hurt! No, he'd just have to take her at her word.
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Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 11:48 am
“Perhaps… you were cursed and were too young to remember it…” Jazi offered slowly, trying to think of other possibilities but not really finding anything. There was, of course, the possibility that she was making the whole thing up but Jazi had spent enough time with Taabika to push that idea aside in a second. The thought of touching didn't even cross his mind. “I’ve never really heard of anything like that before.”
A sudden thought worried him. What if it really was a curse? What if there was no way they could ever fix it. What if what she needed was not time and loving care but a quest of sorts in order to find a God capable of lifting the curse?
“Do you think… it’s been getting better with time?” he asked tentatively, his chest tightening.
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Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 12:04 pm
Cursed? She remembered then that he'd asked about "god guys", whatever that meant. She shook her head, answering that question finally. "I don't know what a god guy is, and I don't know if I was cursed or not." She continued pacing beside him, deep in thought. "None of my other siblings were like me. But...," she trailed off and looked away from him, her tension level rising. "M-m-my... f-family....," she fought with what she was trying to say, "w-wasn't r-r-r-right." She suddenly burned with the shame of it. She gulped, her steps quickening, but shortening, like she was skittering forward instead of simply walking.
"I... n-never quite u-u-nd-derstood," she continued, but stopped to shy sideways from a sudden sound, as if expecting a monster to leap out. One didn't, of course, and she gritted her teeth to finish the rest. "My... family.... wasn't.... right. My mother... didn't love my father.... but loved.... s-s-someone else." She didn't really want to get into the specifics. It had always felt wrong to her, though. The family situation had felt like bones poking under skin at the wrong places, all awkward and lumpy in ways that were never meant to function. "S-so m-m-maybe... n-noone n-noticed... if I was c-c-cursed." Somehow it just didn't seem right, though. She couldn't imagine her mother allowing such a thing. She'd have told her!
Finally she shook her head, scattering tears she hadn't known she had shed. "N-no, I don't th-think I'm cursed. I th-th-think I'm j-just... b-b-broken." More tears followed, grief and anger tightened her throat, choking off any sound she might have made, be it words or sobs. She finally gave up the walking, her hindquarters collapsing to the ground, her head hanging as if with shame, as her tears watered the ground.
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Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 12:51 pm
“I’ve heard some lions talk about giants with wings that have incredible powers. They curse mortals when they’re angry, apparently.” Taabika seemed quite certain that she’d never met anyone like that though he supposed she could’ve been too young to remember.
“You are not broken!” He took a few steps closer to the dark lioness but made no motion to touch her. His voice had suddenly risen in volume which was unusual in the quiet leopard. He allowed the information she provided from her family to sink in. “There are broken families everywhere. My parents didn’t love each other and split me and my siblings between the two of them before separating. It doesn’t mean anything on you.”
“You’re fine. Maybe you’d be happier if you didn’t have that thing but… you’re fine just the way you are.” He didn’t think he was making much sense now but he was speaking a bit more passionately, impulsively, almost without thinking. His rational mind was disturbed and unable to help him maintain his typical composure.
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Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 1:32 pm
At Jazi's vehement assertion, Taabika leaned backwards with wide eyes. He never raised his voice! However, as a testament to the trust they'd built up, she did not flinch or cower from him in fear at his outburst. Instead, she merely stared at him in shock. It was astonishing as it was to have him speak so strongly, but to do so in defense of her, to her? Noone had ever done such a thing before. She was floored, and thus listened mutely to his own story.
For some reason, it did comfort her to learn that this quiet, gentle, patient individual had not had a perfect family to grow up in. She still privately felt that her own was much stranger, but that was a moot detail. Warmth crept through her as she listened, and heard him declare his opinion on the matter. She considered it in silence for a moment, eyes still on him. Was she fine? Truly? She wasn't so sure about that, but she finally gave him a faint, wavering smile. "I'm fine as long as I'm with you," she said very softly. "Thank you." It was rewardingly heartening to have someone believe in you, even if you didn't believe in yourself.
Perhaps... just perhaps.... she reall would be fine, if she could just stay with Jazi.
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Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2012 1:46 pm
Jazi gulped slowly, his features returning to his normal composed appearance as if he’d somehow managed to control himself. It said a lot that she hadn’t flinched after his impetuous move.
“Then I’ll stay with you.” He said quietly, stepping back to their usual comfortable distance.
“For as long as you’ll have me.” He added quietly, walking away slowly and hoping they would continue on their way. Together. - FIN -
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