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[Regular] Despondency (Shalott/Navi)

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 11:52 am


Shalott was feeling blue and sort of aimless. She went on patrols still but she'd avoid a fight at all costs even going so far as to avoid chaos signatures that did not feel like youma. Youma she felt free to beat to hell and they bore the brunt of this rash of anger and impotence. Talking didn't help. Fighting didn't help. She had a goal but it was so overwhelming she wasn't sure how to accomplish it.

Such were her thoughts as she sat on a bench in some tree lined place looking at the night sky. She wasn't really happy as a knight or with her side that perpetuated a pointless war. She didn't understand why. Neither side could be wholly wrong and neither wholly right. Whatever happened to agreeing to disagree? It was called compromise and maybe if less children were fighting and more adults they could find it.

But alas, that was not how things were.

She was content to be alone with her thoughts, nestled against herself in the night air. It was turning colder now and soon it would be chilly. The school year started and the classes kind of ran together in a jumble of bad acting, trying to remember names, and establishing rules. It was hectic but a kind of hectic she could get behind. That was what kids should be doing, how they should behave. The knight in her couldn't help but wonder how many participants in the fight were in her classes, in her school. Had she met them and didn't know?

Christ! She was getting paranoid. Paranoid and depressed. What a time for that to happen! "Shake it off." she told herself. "Get the ******** over it."
PostPosted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 1:18 pm


The tree lined place the squire had picked to rest in just so happened to be the park Navi and her fellow teammates considered their home territory, though since she was on the outskirts, the senshi currently patrolling within didn't notice her right away. Not until Navi was making her way back towards one of the mirrors installed throughout the park.

She paused when she picked up on the power signature, turning automatically in that direction despite being too far away to see anything though the dark and the trees. It wasn't senshi she felt, but it was Order, and unless there was another faction under the White Moon that could only be one thing. "Knight."

It was one thing for Navi to go out looking for the knights, but to stumble upon one in her own territory was something else entirely. She didn't like it, not one little bit, so when she slide from the shadows between two trees near the squire the expression she wore was less then friendly or inviting. The girl didn't like knights, considered them useless on top of the personal vendetta she carried for them. It took quite a lot of self control to face the woman on the bench calmly instead of attacking her while she least expected it.

"Get the ******** over what?" The woman had been talking to herself, and Navi had caught the tail of it as she'd neared. Now she was admittedly curious, though that didn't significantly improve her disposition. She still looked angry, and as she shifted her weight to rest primarily on one hip she crossed her arms beneath the swell of her chest.

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Beejoux


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ZaiaFantasy

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 12:27 am


The voice shook Shalott out of her thoughts about 10 seconds too late to realize that a chaos signature was practically on top of her. Not only was she depressed but she was also getting sloppy and that was a damn good way to get herself hurt or killed. But the chaos agent didn't seem to be in the mood to fight, or not yet, so she didn't immediately get hostile.

"It's nothing. We all have things to get over."

Great! She was swearing in front of a teen on top of it! So much for talking to herself. Shalott's eyes traveled to the girl. A senshi? She'd had little interaction with the dark mirror court besides fumbling through a fight with Virtus who didn't seem like he had a mean bone in his body and that unfortunate incident with Remarque. But she didn't immediately know the girl for the Mirror Court. She knew sometimes regular senshi went back too. Carnelian taught her that.

"I would say you should be careful being out by yourself at night but look where I am." She laughed a little. "I'm Shalott." And she was desperately hoping to avoid fighting. Let them both have a pass for the night. She didn't think her nerves could take it.

Beejoux
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 2:58 pm


The teen snorted, pale lips tugging into a mix of sneer and smirk. "That's an understatement." Personal baggage was something Navi seemed to have in abundance, and she just kept on collecting more as time went by.

The squire kept her place on the bench, and that was enough to keep Navi where she stood. So far the woman hadn't offered her any violence or excuse to attack, and while it didn't take much to incite the ginger haired girl, she was trying not be the stereotype Order liked to believe of her and her teammates. So far she was doing.. Ok. She'd at least not attacked anyone without some form of provocation.

It wasn't easy though. She didn't know anything about the woman before her except that she was a knight, and that, sadly, was enough to have Navi dislike her.

"I think I can take of myself pretty well," she offered in retort, doing a fair job of keeping her attitude under check. "Survived thus far at least." Her lips pressed together at the introduction. "I'm Navi." Shalott hadn't expanded on her title, so Navi didn't either.

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Beejoux


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 12:30 pm


Baggage was something, just now, that Shalott knew a crap ton about. She had no interest in aggression or hostility at the moment. Or, really, anytime lately. Instead she was more focused on self loathing and abject despair. It was all very weak for someone who spent their lives being so damned strong.

Kind of ironic in its own way.

"I'm sure you can. Necessity being what it is. I'm sure you're very capable. Still, some of the things that go bump in the night don't care much for capability."

Surviving was somewhat of a sliding scale. On a long enough timeline everyone fell no matter how well prepared they were. For a teenager like Navi to be facing something like that made her shake her head. It was not fair, none of it.

"It's nice to meet you Navi. I assume we're on opposite sides of this little turf war but let's pretend for now that we can get along like civilized people. I'm not in the mood for a fight tonight. It's too pretty outside for that. How often do you just stop and look at the stars?"

To prove her point her gaze lifted to the inky heavens dotted with small white specks billions of lightyears from their own miserable planet.

Beejoux
PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 9:08 am


It was really hard for Navi to accept what the woman was saying as genuine, and not some mocking condescension, but she managed. Some how. "Thank you for that." It didn't sound all together grateful, but at least she was holding onto neutrality.

Which was, all things considered, surprisingly easy in this instance. Shalott looked so thoroughly dejected that Navi was having a hard time holding onto her malice, and after a moment or two she settled for stubborn dislike and crossed her arms. She wasn't doing anything instigating, she wasn't speaking foolishness, nothing. Not a damn thing the Senshi could use for fuel to start a brawl.

It was a little irritating, but since she'd never had anything close to a reasonable conversation with a Knight, her curiosity was subtly pricked, and she thought to herself, why not?

"You're correct in your assumption," she admitted, taking a seat beside the squire, but not too close. "And more then you'd think." She was talking about star gazing, and she too tipped her head back to give the sky a quick look. It was pretty out. "So what's got you so.." She fished around for a word before finally settling on one. "Despondent."

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Beejoux


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 24, 2012 12:00 pm


Neutrality was all Shalott asked. Hell, she could be as hostile as she wanted to be as long as it didn't come to more than words. The knight expected that from the enemy...or who was supposed to be the enemy. She was somewhat heartened, though, as the girl came to sit beside her and the emerald haired woman smiled genuinely for the first time that night.

Then she asked her question.

"Ah, well, that's a bit more complicated of an answer. Nothing in this war is easy, it seems, and the relations between sides is just the least of that."

Shalott had seen enough of the Bond movies to know not to give away all of her thoughts and feelings to the enemy or everything would come tumbling down. Well, that and it just seemed too terribly personal to share with just anyone. She had a hard enough time talking to her own husband about it. Revealing that kind of weakness to just anyone would be a bad idea all around.

"Sufficed to say I'm feeling pressure in a lot of areas of my life just now. I'm sure it's not an uncommon thing among our kind. You feel one way about a member of the opposite side and despite all evidence that says their wrong you just don't know. You want to believe but with everyone else telling you not to can you really?"

She was careful to say our kind and not my kind as she wasn't making distinctions between factions just now. A powered life was a powered life and if you fought in the war you felt this kind of a strain.

Beejoux
PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 9:16 am


Although her ears were trained on the squire seated beside her, Navi's gaze was still directed up at the stars. She'd slouched a bit on the bech so her head could rest on the back of it, and as the seconds ticked by peacefully she found herself relaxing, albeit slowly. After a moment she folded her hands on her stomach, listening intently to what the other woman had to say.

There was a quiet, almost amused snort in agreement, and the DMC rolled her eyes to the side to eye the Squire briefly. If anyone knew how complicated cross faction relationships could be, it was Navi. Not that she was in any hurry to share any details about that, and certainly not with this Shalott.

Still, she could relate. "It's certainly not easy." A thoughtful frown slid along her lips. She was in the Squire's shoes, but not really. She didn't think her friends among the white senshi were right or wrong, merely mislead and needing a little help to find their way. And certainly they had to have conflicting feels where she and her ideals were concerned.

There were also the countless others among the side of order that insisted she was evil, and yet, nine times out of ten, it was them that threw the first punch, not her. Where she desired to talk, all they wanted to was to beat the chaos out of her. So who was truly evil?

Frowning further, Navi returned her gaze upward to the stars. "You believe what your heart tells you." That's how she operated.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 10:51 am


"It's been wrong and, well, bruised in its time. I'm not sure it's the best source to trust right now."

It was her heart that was the problem, believing in someone that had only let her down and breaking apart every time she had to fight someone on the other side. It was the thing causing this breakdown and cutting her off from all of the good things she used to cherish. The only good thing her heart did at the moment, so far as she could see, was continue to beat and love her husband and daughter.

"I loved someone on your side once. He hurt me."

Benitoite had destroyed her from the inside out and at the time he hadn't known what he was doing because he didn't know who she was. Was she partly to blame for the way he was by cutting him off the way she had or were they doomed to this rivalry anyway? The squire sighed and covered her eyes for a moment, trying to compose herself before she started crying. It wasn't just Benitoite and this feeling was not just the night's challenge.

The last time she'd met with a Negaverse agent she'd wanted to kill him. The time before that she was fighting Beni and tried very hard to break his foot. Everything was complicated and hard. Everything was painful. But it was also not Navi's burden to bear. It was hers. She couldn't bear the idea of imagining the girl hurt or fighting for her life.

"Just because I have to say it you shouldn't be fighting in this war. You should be enjoying your adolescence with all of the other teenagers. You seem like a smart girl, Navi. I know you probably don't want my advice but here it is anyway. If you are lucky enough to have love away from all this mess I suggest you hold onto it and leave this war behind. It's not good and it's not something anyone should give their lives to least of all a bright young girl as pretty as you."
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 8:03 am


Oh... Well, that did complicate things, didn't it? Navi had nothing she could say to that logic, so instead she offered only a rather useless roll of her shoulders. Loving someone from the opposite side was something she was familiar with, but having everything turn sour? Not so much. It wasn't something she liked to think about either.

Her relationship with Chaonis, however you wanted to label it, had every chance in the word of ending badly, and not even just from one of them ending it. Still, what they had was real, and there was always that chance it could work, right?

Nose wrinkling, Navi pushed the thoughts away to focus on what the Squire was saying, then promptly rolled her eyes. What was with the older Knights and feeling as though it was their duty to save her and anyone else they thought was too young, or mislead. "My normal adolescence ended when I was abducted from my room and wound up stranded on the moon with a large handful of other civilians."

Whatever calm she'd managed to maintain throughout the whole of their conversation was seeping away. "As for love." She turned on the bench so she was facing the squire. "I lost my family and all my friends when I came into my power. Everything I knew and lived I had to walk away from." Oh yes, her hackles were definitely rising now. Her role in this war, and what she'd had to give up, her life, all of it was an extremely touchy subject.

She hadn't gone looking to join up in this endless battle, it had found her, and when Ares offered her a chance to survive and hold her own she took it. Now she had meaning in her life, something to work for, so why did people want her to just drop all that and walk away? "You don't understand." The predictable words of a teen, but in this case she felt they applied nicely. "And to assume you have any idea at all what I, or any of my court is going through is very high handed."

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Beejoux


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ZaiaFantasy

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 9:10 am


"So you were one of the ones abducted. My daughter was, too. She died up there."

Except she'd been brought back to life and had the good fortune to be able to come home intact. Kyndall's heart had ached to miss her, to worry about her. If it hadn't been for Tony or Camelot she might have gone mad. Shalott had no clue, of course, that everyone had died. She also had no idea that this girl was in a relationship with her powered up stepson. Or even that her stepson was powered. But details...

"That's my point, Navi. Who decided that you should walk away from everything you know? Who gets to decide that your life is an appropriate sacrifice to their ends? This isn't your war. Before they brought you into it you had a life, friends. Why should you have to give that up because someone you never met said so?"

Shalott felt her despondency channeling into something else and this felt better. Anger. Anger at this war, these unseen forces that dictated their futures, at the foolish way they seemed to just run along with it and never question anything else. She used to hold solid to the idea that she was actively protecting civilians by doing what she was doing but was that even true at all? Had she saved anyone lately? Ever? Destroying one youma didn't stop any others from appearing.Did strange things stop happening because she took up the sword?

No. Nothing like that had happened.

"What the hell is this war all about, anyway? Have you seen the bigger picture? Have they kept you in the loop about why we're all running about like religious zealots killing each other in the name of our chosen God? Cause no one's been so kind as to tell me."

Maybe she'd gone a bit mad after all...


Beejoux
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 9:54 am


What had started at a relatively civil conversation between opposing members of this magical war was quickly dissolving into an argument. Navi was mad. Mad at the people that called her evil because of the chaotic aura that surrounded her. Mad at those that thought they knew what was best for her without even knowing her or her situation. Hell, even she was guilty of pretending ot know what was best for people at times.

The more the Squire spoke, the quicker Navi's patience evaporated, and she was on her feet again before she even realized it.

She could have ranted on about how the White Moon was to blame for them all having been abducted in the first place, and if not for them then she wouldn't have lost everything, but it was Shalott's last point that Navi honed in on. This at least she had an answer to.

"Oh but you see, this is where you and I differ. Unlike you poor souls of the White Moon Kingdom I have a queen that is not only present, but active in her plans to better our court and strive towards a better future for us, her people." She had poked her fingers against her own chest, and there was a definite note of pride to the teens voice now. She believed in her queen and her court, she had a purpose. "Can you say as much? Where is your monarch?" The question was rhetorical, she knew damn well Serenity was gone. "We're fighting for a new life," she added quickly.

"Maybe you're on the wrong side if you can't see the purpose in yourself." Why fight at all if you didn't know what it was all for?

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Beejoux


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ZaiaFantasy

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 10:10 am


"Ah." The squire quieted considerably and her anger seemed to dissipate as well, leaving only quiet understanding. "That seems to be where you and I differ. I'm not doing this for any monarch. I'm doing this for the innocent people that get caught in the crossfire. The civilians like you were, like my daughter. People who don't have a choice but get wrapped up in this war anyone. The people that have their lives toyed with and their energy drained by youma or..."

People like you.

The words unspoken seemed to hang in the air. Her assessments about their own leadership were fair and accurate. She'd only seen a princess once and certainly never saw anyone of any leadership stature take a stand or try to unify anyone. There was no general in the trenches with the rest of them willing them on side by side. In that Navi was very correct.

But Shalott was hoping to change that. Why should they be without guidance when the other side so clearly had it? Why should they fight in a faceless war without a bigger picture. It was like a never ending movie with no plot to speak of save little pockets of action here or there.

"I can see you are a very passionate young woman as well. There's no point in arguing politics." Not if they wanted things to remain civil between them. "I'm afraid this is why I should be alone with my thoughts. I am not fit company for anyone at the moment. My problems should be my own."

Beejoux
PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 10:26 am


"If you think all we do is just for our queen, then I think you missed my final point." Dark clad arms folded. "We're building a better life. To me, that's something worth fighting for." Even now, with no clear end in sight the teen had already gained so much. She had lost her old life, but she had gained a new family, and new friends. And she wouldn't trade one for the other.

An unfriendly look was passed down to Shalott as conceded and backed out of the discussion, though in all honesty Navi was tired of arguing.

What remained clear though was that this Squire had lost her path. "As you are now, despondent and indecisive, you're no good to anyone. What's the point of even powering up if you're not going to act?" No point. She wasn't helping anyone just sitting around lost in her own unhappy thoughts. Not that Navi wanted her brand of help, but that wasn't really the point.

For a moment the DMC just stood there, staring down at the other woman as if she might say more, but as the seconds ticked by and nothing came out it became clear she'd thought better of it. This wasn't her problem, and she wasn't going to continue to let this Knight make her frustrated.

Instead she turned, walking back towards the shadows from which she'd come. Disappearing into the night before vanishing completely from Shalott's radar as she found a mirror and slipped through it.

ZaiaFantasy


Beejoux


Wrathful Demigod


ZaiaFantasy

High-functioning Garbage

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 10:33 am


"Why, indeed?"

Shalott whispered that to herself once she was sure Navi was gone and puzzled what ought to be a relatively simple question. What was the point in pretending she had a firm grip on the situation when clearly she didn't? The Squire simply powered down where she sat alone and sighed, shivering in the cold she was not dressed for.

"Why, indeed..."
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