The Daily Bugle: Better than Daily Planet Trash Edition

[DarkReaper40k]

"Marvelites listen up, J.Jonah Jameson here, founder and owner of the Daily Bugle which if you didn't know is the best damn paper any where! We don't print fictional crap like those two bit hacks over at the Daily Planet, bunch of copy cats if you ask me!

NO! We print the NEWS! What YOU, the READERS, want to read! We're not going to distract you with some bimbo in a mini skirt who can barely tell a story, we've got pictures of Carol Danvers in a thong to do that! No, what I'm talking about is keeping you up to date on what the heck is going on in this blasted Marvel Universe with menaces like that wall crawling Spider-man and the feline felon Black Cat popping up! It's a dangerous world out there folks and if you don't keep yourselves informed who knows what'll happen to you, so read the Daily Bugle regularly and stop wasting your time with that rag of a paper they print over at the Daily Planet, it's all a bunch of none sense!

There I did the stupid introduction Ms Brant could have done, NOW WILL SOMEONE GET ME MY COFFEE?!?!"

 

[DarkReaper40k]

September 1st, Issue 1

"Robbie push back the Midtown Fall Formal to page 8 and give them 10% off, NO WAIT, make that 5% off. It'll happen eventually anyways, probably with some big villainous party crash! Ms Brant, where the heck is that Parker kid with more photos of that menace Spider-man?! I wanted them 5 minutes ago!"

Ms Brant interrupts Jameson's roll with a little reminder about this issues head lines.

"The what? Oh right... the re-invented heroes have begun their first day of the new school year at Midtown High like responsible young adults. About damn time if you ask me, maybe they'll even grow up to be productive members of society! (Unlikely but we can hope!) Any way, looks like some freakish snake woman is slithering her way into trouble down town and yet more trouble is brewing as that self obsessed kid Stark makes a scene at his newly-tranferred-to-school. Little p***k has enough money to even have S.H.I.E.L.D. agents protecting him! Oh yeah and rumour has it the Kingpin is preparing something which can't be good!"

Robbie pipes up about the release of the character limit on the rpg.

"The what and the who now?! No one wants to hear about that crap! THE NEWS! That's what I pay you people to bring me! Well don't just stand there, get going and find more!"