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 Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 10:03 am
Well, this was a new one.
It was a Saturday afternoon and she found herself home alone with Harmony at work and her husband out doing...what was it he was doing? She was sure he told her but she couldn't remember now for the life of her. She was left all alone. All alone, that is, except for Nathan. The younger Darrow didn't seem to have a mind to get to know her or bond but Kyndall was hopeful. She wasn't a wicked stepmother. She wasn't making him wear rags and clean the house. She mostly kept a hands off approach to him.
Deciding to be a little proactive she baked some chocolate chip cookies and carried a plate of them to where he was, either in his room playing video games or, well, somewhere in the house. Who knew with him? He was in that awkward stage where he was no longer a boy and not quite a man yet. She was sympathetic for his plight, trying to find where he fit in. She was lost like that for a long time until one night's mistake brought everything into focus and she prayed he didn't need to learn -that- way.
"Nate? I baked some cookies. Would you like some? They're still warm."
Call it her olive branch.
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Posted: Fri Aug 31, 2012 11:36 am
Nathan was not interested in getting to know most people, even on a good day. His own senshi allies were the limited exceptions, and even then his brand of talking to them and hanging out generally involved getting into ridiculous amounts of trouble or just infuriating them.
He was sitting in his room, playing a video game as suspected. He was planning on heading out for some senshi stuff, non specific as always, later, but for now he was content bashing faces on his PS3.
Hearing her call to him, he grunted and ignored her.
There were many things he had learned he didn't need in his life. His mother was one of the first things he'd learn to get along without. After his father, of course. If he could manage without them for the better parts of his life span, then why would he possibly need a new, fake mother and, on top of that, a fake sister?
What Tony did with his life was his deal. Whatever, so long as he didn't drag Nate into it. He was just here for the shelter and food. Free room and board, as it were.
He considered telling Kyndall he was allergic to chocolate, which was a lie, but rejected that because it would require acknowledging her. Instead, he just mashed the buttons on his controller harder.
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Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2012 10:48 am
Kyndall sighed, sitting on the edge of his bed and putting the plate to the side. She considered the video game he was playing, shuddering at the violence of it and her own newly squeamish disposition about that. He just didn't seem to want to let any of them, not even his father, in. She knew if she pushed he'd push back but how did someone try to get to know someone else without, you know, trying?
"I know you can hear me. You haven't gone deaf in the last few moments."
She could say all the classic things about him, probably. Lack of parental influence. No discipline to speak of. Maybe a lack of a mother? She hadn't talked to Tony about is mother much. Part of her really didn't want to know. Especially if it was anything like her own experience with Harmony's father. It probably meant something different to his son, anyway. She wanted to get to know him, wanted to love him, but he wasn't making that easy.
"Nathan, I know this probably isn't ideal for you but this does benefit you. I'm happy to be here to help you along. You can't just sit and play video games for the rest of your life. What do you want to do? Where do you want to go from here? If you would only talk to me...I'd like to love you."
She honestly didn't know how much of what she said was getting through or if honesty and emotion could even work on the boy. It was like talking to a brick wall sometimes for all she could recognize in him but contempt or apathy. Hell, even the brick wall might yield before her stepson. She offered the plate again, trying in her own patient but not that patient way.
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 1:00 pm
Nate grunted his response.
He listened as she spoke, though he didn't show that was what he was doing. He put his controller down and looked at her, dark eyes that he got from his mother locking on her and appraising her dourly. One of the many problems he had with parents was the fact that they saw him as a do nothing lay about. Which was mostly true, when he was no out saving people from terrible monsters.
Of course, he didn't realize that both of his current 'parents' did the same thing.
Hell, he'd even met Camelot once.
"No thanks," he said, shaking his head. He did not want anyone to love him. If he wanted that, he might make a little bit more of an effort to be nice to people. Which he didn't do. So. He felt he was making himself pretty clear, and why Kyndall and Tony could not understand that was beyond him. They were just stupid, maybe.
He did take a cookie though, just so she didn't think he was politely declining those.
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 2:30 pm
Kyndall sighed thinking it might be this way. She was relatively new in his life and knew that would be an adjustment for him. She expected it and was comfortable with the fact that he wasn't taking to her as quickly as she liked. His father, however, was a different story altogether. He'd been with his father for a few years and still didn't seem close to the man at all. But, at least the boy was being polite at the moment.
"May I be honest, Nathan?" As if she'd give him a chance to say no. "I don't know why you're here."
From her perch on the bed she put the plate aside again. He had such a chip on his shoulder it was hard to imagine what kind of hurt must have put it there. Some of it was immaturity, sure, but if he kept pushing away the people that would love him unconditionally in the years to come by the time he realized how precious those relationships were it would be too late to form them. Bitterness only breeds bitterness.
"Your father desperately cares for you. Whether you accept that or not, he does. You're an adult now and are capable of caring for yourself so why you're here allowing that man to shelter you and care for you still with no intention of ever returning his affection just seems unimaginably cruel."
Ok, she hadn't meant for it to sound that way but she didn't always have time to plan her words when they came and she had a thought. And she meant well for them both, she really did, and if this wasn't her place they'd just both have to understand. Kyn only said these things with love and marrying into this family made it her place in her own eyes.
"Parents are important. Children are important. I know it must be hard for you to deal with all of this, a father you never met before and trying to cope but he is trying to make it right. He can't try any harder than he knows how to try."
She paused, sighing, toying with her wedding ring. It was a symbol of her love and commitment to his father. If only families could become whole as easily. She quieted, deciding to share something with him that was personal, private. She'd never had a son before and wanted to know what it was like.
"Harmony and I weren't so very close until just a while ago, nearly a year. It took her...almost dying to realize how much a part of me she was. If I had lost her it would have taken from me something vital. I'm afraid if you push him away much more you'll lose him for good and by the time you realize you need him it'll be too late."
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 1:57 am
Nathan frowned at her when she asked him to be honest, considering saying no. But she pressed on before he could get the word out. She was not really asking him for his permission, of course, but if he could have stopped her so easily he certainly would have liked to.
He did not take well to lectures.
Especially from people who did not understand him. And how could anyone? Not anyone in this house. He was a goddamn Senshi: he dealt with things they could not even dream of. And even before he powered up, he had his own experiences that they would never understand. As far as he knew, anyway, though he never bothered to ask.
He had heard this before, he was sure of it, but he still glared at her as she berated him.
"When I came here, looking for my dad," Nathan said, after a long silence, "i wanted to get to know a man I could look up to. When I found him, he was in the hospital and no one knew if he was going to wake up. Like half the rest of the city. I needed him when I was a kid, and when I came to find him he was unavailable. So yeah, maybe I'm just using him for room and board, but that's how it's always been. I don't need you, or him, to take care of me. You want me out? Then I'll leave."
He shrugged, as if it made no difference to him if he was with his family or not.
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Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 11:27 am
Kyndall sighed. There was the bitterness she expected. He had a right to it in his own way and she tried to be understanding of that. It wasn't easy to be, though. He didn't make it easy for anyone.She got up to pace a little, thinking, wondering how to approach this.
"Nathan, he couldn't help that. He had no choice being in that hospital bed. No one did. But he's here now. He's available to you now and all he wants is a relationship with you, to spend time with you where you don't look at everything and everyone with contempt. He loves you but you make it so damn hard for anyone to do that I'm not sure how much longer he can keep trying."
She wasn't trying to lecture him so much as make him understand what was happening around him. She was worried for him. When he casually tossed aside his family she felt her heart break a little. With all of the turmoil she felt in the second part of her life it was hard to feel her family breaking away, too. She wasn't sure she could bear it and if Tony found out she'd run Nathan away he'd probably never forgive her. Family was deeper than love, she knew with Harmony.
"Stop being so damned stubborn, Nathan! You can't just toss aside the people that love you so easily, can you? Your father and I deal with more than you could ever imagine and what we're asking isn't so very hard."
Of course she couldn't out either of them as knights just in case he was blissfully unaware of this war. But that stress was heaped upon them and made their lives dangerous and complicated. He certainly wasn't adding to the solution. If he only knew how hard they worked to make sure that this city was safer for everyone, and the things they'd seen and done in defense of civilians.
"I'm not trying to lecture you, Nathan. Like I said, I only want to love you but there's this wall I can't get passed. Your father only wants the same thing. If you miss your chance to get to know that wonderful man I'm afraid it won't ever come again. You may be surprised what you have in common and what it would feel like to have people around you that you can count on for anything. And you can."
She came close and laid a hand on his shoulder, nearly begging him to give them all a chance.
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Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:16 am
"Yeah, well, I do more than you think I do, but all you notice is the bad stuff. So why bother with the good stuff? Anyway, I've got my own s**t to deal with and stuff at home? Not anywhere near as important to me. This is just a house, where I sleep and play video games. And you people live here too."
He grunted and returned to his game, though he died almost immediately after unpausing it and could not get back into the flow of the game.
Still, it was a good distraction.
"for not trying, you certainly are doing a good job. Maybe you're just a natural at nagging? I can see why Tony likes you so much," the sarcasm dripped from his tone, though he was being reasonably tame in his insults and retorts.
When she touched his shoulder he grew tense, and stared harder at the screen in response.
This was the last thing he felt he needed right now, though probably the first thing he actually did need. With all his complicated feelings for Navi and the strange situations he found himself in while powered up, a normal civilian life would be excellent for him. Even he didn't know wy he was resisting it. Maybe just out of bullheaded pride.
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Posted: Tue Oct 02, 2012 12:02 pm
Kyndall stooped so she could look at him in the eye while they spoke. He was right about one thing, for telling herself a whole host of things she wouldn't do she was certainly checking a lot of those things off the to do list. She paused and cleared her throat, trying to decide how to proceed. He didn't seem happy. He never seemed happy.
"This isn't just a house and you're not just a guest in our home. You're family. I don't know if you've ever really gotten to know what having a family is like but if you give it a chance we might surprise you. Sure, we'll butt heads and might get into fights but there are other times that make up for it."
She imagined all the fights she had with her own daughter and all the times they'd disagreed while Harm tried to find the right fit for her own life. She thought of the fights she'd had with Tony, too, some literal and some with only words and for different reasons. She wouldn't trade any of it away. Not one moment of it. It was all worth something to her. It was all important.
"Family can drive you nuts and can make you hurt until you're sure you're bleeding from it. They can rip you apart without trying. But the other side of that, the better side, is that they help you. They love you without ever letting go and they lift you up when you're knocked down. They only want what's best for you and that makes all the struggle worth it."
She gently pried the controller out of his hands and set it aside, game paused again for good measure. She looked up at his face and caught his eyes, violet to brown. She didn't know why he was resisting, either, but it hurt. She smiled at him.
"Are you happy, Nathan? Really happy this way? What could it hurt to let us in and be the family you deserve?"
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Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 1:13 pm
Nathan did not like the idea of family. He had never really had one, with his mother being who she was, and his father not being there. Sure, it was not by his design, but still. He'd left to better his own life, and didn't take Nate's mother with him.
That was the only family he really knew.
Ever since coming to Destiny City he had been resisting bonding with the father he had chosen to seek out. It was not fair to insert himself into Tony's life, then not give the man a chance at having a son, but maybe that was the point. Subconsciously, he was making up for how he had felt, growing up.
Or something. It was really too deep for him to want to think about.
He frowned at her when she took his controller from him, watching her tensely. She made him feel uncomfortable, if only because she was trying to make him feel anything.
"Do whatever you want," he said, getting up and moving to leave the room. His instincts were always to run away, though he paused at the door. "The cookies are good," he said, before he left the room.
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