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 Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 8:44 am
WARNING: this is going to be about sex.
if you're uncomfortable reading or talking about it turn back now. i'm not going to say anything inappropriate. everything i'm going to be talking about is clean.
anyways, the beginning of this month my boyfriend and i have decided not to have sex.
not like forever just for a few years.
we just don't want to end up making a mistake and get pregnant when we're not ready and unable to afford taking care of a child. plus, i'm in school and it would suck to get quit school when i'm almost finished.
so we've decided to wait on sex until we were ready for whatever is to come.
i've only had sex with two people in my life. the first time i had sex was with my first boyfriend when i was 17 years old. the second is with my current boyfriend. both people i was in a serious relationship with and in love.
i don't regret having sex at a young age. i do wish i waited though. it would have been nice being a bit older than i was.
i'm really enjoying not having sex. sure him and i are tempted to do things here and there, but all and all we have our minds set straight. and i feel like in agreeing to do this my boyfriend and my bond has grown stronger. i'm glad we can decide to do something together and stick to it.
what are your thoughts on sex?
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 8:51 am
Oral sex produces no babies and is still awesome...assuming it's being done properly ninja
But yeah, I see nothing wrong with not sexing, per se. For the longest time I was going to wait until marriage because of the whole not wanting to risk babies thing and all that (and to an extent, religious stuff that I guess I don't consider as serious as I used to). I eventually changed my mind, but I still don't think waiting is a BAD idea. Kudos to you for your decision. Here's hoping you both have the willpower to stick to it. Not everyone does ninja
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GoldDiggingWhore Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 9:39 am
Hey! Sushi is talking! yum_shrimp yum_onigiri
it's your choice, and Sushi thinks you're wise for holding off to get other things done first.
start a poke was on Facebook if both of you have one owo Fear the Sushi! :tamag:
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 12:34 pm
It's pretty cool that you've made that decision. It takes maturity. It should do awesome things for your relationship, since it doesn't appear to depend on sex, which I think is weird and unhealthy. What I mean is that there are so many people who just sleep with zillions of people and base their relationships around their sex life, instead of having a sex life within or after a relationship (or none at all, because there are asexual people who exist). But anyway, relationship strength=win. Plus, you don't seem to have a definite time length on this moratorium, so it's flexible, which could be good for changing plans and interests.
If you're looking for more personal info (instead of generalized opinions), I waited until marriage.
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 2:14 pm
When it comes to any part of a relationship, but definitly including sex, I believe comunication is the key. For what ever reasons you choose to follow the path you do, you and your partner should always have open communication about it.
As gold said, there are many different alternatives to reach physical bliss. And which of them you can and cant do, will ultimatly come down again to what you and your partner choose.
There are many reasons people may choose to cut certain things out of thier relationship, and I believe that having discucced them and came to a mutual understanding with your partner you are doing what is best for your relationship. Again to do with certain frustrations, you should consider the alternatives which can provide as much fun and can still have no risk of pregnancy and extremly reduced risk of any other transmitions.
Stay strong in what you believe and again, remember open communication is the key.
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 3:31 pm
GoldDiggingWhore Oral sex produces no babies and is still awesome...assuming it's being done properly ninja But yeah, I see nothing wrong with not sexing, per se. For the longest time I was going to wait until marriage because of the whole not wanting to risk babies thing and all that (and to an extent, religious stuff that I guess I don't consider as serious as I used to). I eventually changed my mind, but I still don't think waiting is a BAD idea. Kudos to you for your decision. Here's hoping you both have the willpower to stick to it. Not everyone does ninja redface oh believe me we're doing others besides that. lol. X3
i know we have the willpower to go through it. sex wasn't really a priority in our relationship anyway we always called it a great bonus.
as for my past relationship, sex after awhile become a barrier for me when i didn't want to communicate anymore. and that's when i knew that relationship had to end.
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 3:34 pm
Shannon Kyra Liannanon Hey! Sushi is talking! yum_shrimp yum_onigiri
it's your choice, and Sushi thinks you're wise for holding off to get other things done first.
start a poke was on Facebook if both of you have one owo Fear the Sushi! :tamag: thanks. ^^ and yes i have a Facebook. and i'm already having a poke war with DMS. x.x i guess it won't hurt to start a new one and add you as my fifth friend (i only have 4 guild members... and only built my Facebook for guild members. i really don't use it and come on to it here and there. My Facebook
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 3:38 pm
thedenomerator It's pretty cool that you've made that decision. It takes maturity. It should do awesome things for your relationship, since it doesn't appear to depend on sex, which I think is weird and unhealthy. What I mean is that there are so many people who just sleep with zillions of people and base their relationships around their sex life, instead of having a sex life within or after a relationship (or none at all, because there are asexual people who exist). But anyway, relationship strength=win. Plus, you don't seem to have a definite time length on this moratorium, so it's flexible, which could be good for changing plans and interests. If you're looking for more personal info (instead of generalized opinions), I waited until marriage. well i would hope to be mature at age 22. ^^
and my relationship definitely doesn't depend on sex. i would hate to have a relationship that was. trust, respect, and communication always come first.
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 3:46 pm
gdapw When it comes to any part of a relationship, but definitly including sex, I believe comunication is the key. For what ever reasons you choose to follow the path you do, you and your partner should always have open communication about it. As gold said, there are many different alternatives to reach physical bliss. And which of them you can and cant do, will ultimatly come down again to what you and your partner choose. There are many reasons people may choose to cut certain things out of thier relationship, and I believe that having discucced them and came to a mutual understanding with your partner you are doing what is best for your relationship. Again to do with certain frustrations, you should consider the alternatives which can provide as much fun and can still have no risk of pregnancy and extremly reduced risk of any other transmitions. Stay strong in what you believe and again, remember open communication is the key. communication has always been involved in my boyfriend and my relationship. there was just two years of communicate before we actually got together. we talk all the time about everything. so communicate has never been a problem.
and as i said to Goldie, my boyfriend and i consider sex as a nice bonus. ^^
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 3:55 pm
xxXSleepy_NinjaXxx communication has always been involved in my boyfriend and my relationship. there was just two years of communicate before we actually got together. we talk all the time about everything. so communicate has never been a problem.
and as i said to Goldie, my boyfriend and i consider sex as a nice bonus. ^^ Indeed, comunication is just key for me in many things hense why I wrote something like this http://www.helium.com/items/1042721-why-its-important-to-have-an-open-dialog-about-sex-with-your-partner That was back in 2008...my writing style...yeah...I would probally change a few things about it. But all in all yeah your relationship sounds healthy which is a really good thing ^_^
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 4:13 pm
gdapw Indeed, comunication is just key for me in many things hense why I wrote something like this http://www.helium.com/items/1042721-why-its-important-to-have-an-open-dialog-about-sex-with-your-partner That was back in 2008...my writing style...yeah...I would probally change a few things about it. But all in all yeah your relationship sounds healthy which is a really good thing ^_^ i think its written very well. thanks for sharing it with me.
i have a healthy relationship indeed. ^^ he's my bestfriend after all.
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 4:18 pm
xxXSleepy_NinjaXxx i think its written very well. thanks for sharing it with me.
i have a healthy relationship indeed. ^^ he's my bestfriend after all. Thanks, yeah I did quite a lot of writing back in 08, back when I was in uni and was in the habit of doing lots of writing anyways, so yeah I have 80 or so articles on that site.
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Fashionable Autobiographer
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 4:35 pm
It's good that you both are happy with this decision, and that it's making you happier. It's pretty responsible too. I personally find that it's something that makes me feel wonderful for a variety of reasons including reduced stress, and I feel closer afterwards lying with my boyfriend. In my perfect world, sex would be at daily thing. So basically what you're doing now I could never do, because it's simply not for me.
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 4:58 pm
Ginhi~kun It's good that you both are happy with this decision, and that it's making you happier. It's pretty responsible too. I personally find that it's something that makes me feel wonderful for a variety of reasons including reduced stress, and I feel closer afterwards lying with my boyfriend. In my perfect world, sex would be at daily thing. So basically what you're doing now I could never do, because it's simply not for me. yeah, sex was good when i was stressing in school. it eased me a lot through last years set of classes (i even ended up doing it in the school one weekend. lol.) but i really don't need sex to relieve my stress. as long as i get to orgasm every now and again i'm good.
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 6:16 pm
well lets see... with something like this its always your decision on what feels right to both you and your boyfriend. And as goldie said theres plenty of other things to do besides that XD those things are also fun.
Myself....well I'm a believer of not giving it up unless you're in love with the person. So i can count on one hand how many people Ive had sex with. But I did start when I was....17. and I don't really regret it. restraint takes a lot of will power though. and if you're both totally on board then sure not a problem! If either one of you wavers though it could turn into an issue. holding yourself back from what you really want is.....well difficult and sometimes it makes people wander if theyre not getting what they want from someone. not saying that'll happen but.... just be careful ^^
Plus theres ways to have sex and be safe. Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we waited.....6 months to have sex. and we've always had protection in the form of a condom or birth control for me. and its worked out. just be smart about it and its usually quite alright smile
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