Mot wasn't sure if he felt anything at all. He felt like he should be sad, like he should feel disgusted with himself. But he didn't.

He went about his day like nothing was wrong. Nothing was amiss, besides the changes to his routine lately. He slept at night. He ate breakfast, lunch and dinner like a normal reaper. Jogging in the morning. Coffee at noon. Exercises of sit-ups after bookwork. All the things Hel always wanted him to do. But he no longer did these things for her. He did them for himself.

Was that why he felt nothing after he'd left her? He was sad that she felt sad.. but aside from that? He felt free. Free of burden. Free of chains that bound him. The chains of titles he gave himself and others. The chains of needing to impress others. Chains that had choked himChains that held him back, and chains that dragged him forward when he wasn't willing, or even ready.

Now? Now he was his own man. He wasn't looking to impress his mother, looking to get his father's attention, looking to make anyone proud. Now, he was only out to be proud of himself. He wasn't looking to rank himself against others, fighting his way to keep up with his peers. He'd never be happy if he spent his life chasing a line that kept moving at an uncomfortable pace. He needed his own source of gratification. It was not up to anyone but him to find it. His friends were there for support just as he wanted to support them. But he couldn't lean on them for everything. It was not up to them to give him what he wanted or needed. That wouldn't be fair.

Of course he did feel badly. He'd broken her heart too many times to count, and she'd done the same to him. He'd strung Hel along, and even done something intimate with her; something he thought was reserved for couples who were terribly in love.

He didn't mean to. He loved her, he'd wanted her, but in the end, it wasn't what he truly wanted. He'd bedded her out of pure physical desire, and not much outside of that. In his whole life he had never been so selfish. He knew she'd wanted it too, and Mot was always inclined to give what was asked of him. But he should of held back. Held back, because his feelings were still uncertain. He'd only realized after that night, that he wasn't ever going to love Hel quite the way she did for him.

They wanted very different things in life. Their relationship had become a battle he wasn't sure he wanted to fight for anymore. Hel had preconceptions about what she wanted; marriage, and other grandiose plans that Mot didn't want.
Mot was a simple man, with simple plans and simple goals. He'd hated getting badgered by her to want more, to strive and fight and struggle when he just wanted to rest.

He wasn't running. He wasn't being a coward. He was just doing things at his own pace now. He'd never be stagnant, he'd just be himself. In the end, he just wanted to be himself again. Changes would come when he wanted them, not when someone demanded it of him.

Mot was his own man.

Chains would not bind him ever again.

If he did fall in love again, if he did feel that string tie himself to another, he would let it progress naturally. He wouldn't push himself to be what she wanted. He would be himself.
All his life, 90% of what he said to others was pure flattery. He was scared of offending others, scared of chasing people away. If there was one thing he knew he wanted to change, that was it. He needed to be honest with himself.

That would be the last of the chains. That was the last chain that kept him from real freedom. He would be himself. He would be honest with himself and others. They deserved that much, and so did he.

The reaper opened his eyes, taking in a deep breath. He sat in the center of his room. His room was clean, and cleared of all personal objects. He was going to start over. A clean slate. His walls were bare. His usual western themed knick knacks were packed in boxes. He wasn't getting rid of them. He would put them up again, piece by piece, but only when he was ready.

For now, this room was his place of serenity. A place to clear his head.

FooFoo sat on his left, and Cat to his right. The cat normally hated the reaper, but for one reason or another, it seemed content to enjoy inner peace alongside him.

"A fresh start." He murmured, breathing in deeply once more.

Cat meow'd.

FooFoo yipped.

Mot smiled.