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 Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 7:39 pm
Some time had passed since 'that night'. Mot had lingering concerns, but chose not to address them right away. No, best to let them sit and simmer.
Now seemed as good a time as any. Hel was on the floor of his room, working on something, while he sat at his desk whittling some wood into a decorative chopstick. Time passed, and Mot set down his work, moving to the floor to sit with Hel.
"Hey.. um.. I think we need to talk."
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 7:59 pm
Mot had lingering concerns, and Hel had lingering hopes. They’d broken past some barriers. Maybe now they could…be together again? Officially? Not stuck in some kind of weird…friend-thing-limbo? She had felt a lot better after…and they had talked about and worked through some of their issues…surely they could now, right?
Right?
But she hadn’t pushed the subject yet…in a way, waiting to see what Mot would do next…and when he spoke up, she suddenly wasn’t sure this was the move she had been hoping for. There was something ominous about this all of a sudden, and Hel looked up from spinning more fox fire fur into thread a bit warily.
“…Ah…certainly…always….what of, Mot?”
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:04 pm
This was going to be hard. He didn't want to do it. He wanted to hide in limbo forever. However, he needed to be mature about this. Realistic. He took in a breath and spoke, "Look.. I just want something to be clear here..." He coughed into his hand, keeping his voice low.
"What happened... while it was wonderful and... well, amazing; it doesn't mean we're.. together."
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:12 pm
Ouch, right in Al’s Hel’s feels.
The reaper stared at Mot like he had just socked her in the gut, and her expression twisted in a disbelieving grimace, that she tried to smooth out. Okay, just a moment. She took a deep breath. She could do this. Be mature and talk it out. “…W-well…ya…I mean…we did not talk about it before so…ya….” She paused. “…But…we could be now…right?”
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:16 pm
This was painful. Horrible. He was horrible. A despicable person for what he did and was doing. He'd ended up toying with not just his own feelings, but hers.
Mot grimaced, shaking his head. "No Hel. I've been thinking about this a lot since then. We have problems. A lot of problems. Most of our time together, I feel like we only end up butting heads. Doing what we did the other night? That doesn't magically heal us."
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:26 pm
Aw, Jack. This was exactly not what she wanted to hear. Mot had wanted her back, and she said they should wait until he could love her like she wanted…and he had…so…why now? Why couldn’t they try? What other problems were there? Maybe she had thought that that night had fixed something…or possibly opened a door to a better future. Had she been placing too much hope in the idea?
How lost she felt was apparent on her face, and her mouth fell open a bit. “…Buh…but…” She slowly placed her current project on the ground. “But we have not butted heads for a good while! We had that talk and…and you touched me and held me…you said you wanted us together again…wh-what happened?” Hel held her hands up now. “What…problems are there now? Why can we not be together?"
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:33 pm
Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow
Mot's face contorted, unable to hide his hurt. Hel was in pain. He understood why. Heck, even he wanted to just let things go on as they had been. But he knew it wouldn't work like a fairy tale ending.
"Not recently, no. But Hel, you have to understand. A relationship is more than simply being in love. Think about this; our beliefs? They are so terribly different from each other. I know you try to understand, and I do try to keep yours in mind, but.." He breathed in, shuddering.
"We fight. Whenever something important comes up, we fight. Hel, it would just be a long future of constant altercations. You like to push buttons, and as much as I do try not to let myself get bent out of shape about things, it's tiring."
"Hell. I do not want you to change for me. You are a beautiful and firey ghoul, and you should change for no one. I know someone out there is perfect for you. Someone who deserves your passionate spirit. But that someone is not me."
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:52 pm
Oh no. No, no, no.
Hel’s heart just plummeted right into her stomach. She hadn’t even…done anything to raise ire…and she was getting a talk like this!? “Do not lecture me about love, Mot, like I am some scareling!” She cried at him. “I know it takes more than love! It takes work and dedication, two things I am more than willing to put into this!” The ghoul leaned forward a bit, resting on her hands, her eyes going wide. “I do not care what we believe in! It does not matter, and I would be alright with a long future of al-alter—“ Oh, ******** that word. “Of butting heads, because it would be you that I am butting heads with!”
The ghoul looked offended now. “When was the last time I pushed buttons!? I have not pushed buttons as of late! You are using old subjects against me, Mot, how is that fair!? You are changing, and I am changing too!” That had to mean something, right? Sure, it took a while for things to finally get through her thick skull, but she was trying! Tiring. It’s tiring. That hurt. That hurt a lot. She was tiring? Hel didn’t even know what to say at his last few words.
She sat back, her mouth pulling into a firm line, and she stared at him for long while, going quiet. “…Do I still upset you, Mot?” She asked quietly. “Being myself? Does that upset you? Being me?”
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 9:07 pm
Mot waded through the words Hel was saying, taking them into consideration. He wasn't going to let her do this. She wanted to win. She was willing to fight their whole lives. Mot was not.
It was true. They hadn't really butted heads as much. But only as much. Even when he'd mentioned DETH and gotten attitude, she'd held herself back. "You're right. We don't do it as often."
"That doesn't mean I don't get cross. I'm sorry for drudging up last week's garbage, but maybe it's important to me." His hands gripped at his legs, his mouth forming a thin line as he held his breath back a moment.
"You're right. We're changing." He murmured then, his eyes softening.
Her questions hurt. A lot. "No, you don't. But Hel.. you have to understand something. I'm not saying all this to make you mad. I love you, very much. But it's just not what you may feel for me." He breathed out slowly. "You're a good friend. A close friend. I feel like I've realized something.. and you won't like it."
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 9:10 pm
She was ready to spout off more, and was going to, until the tail end of Mot’s words.
For some reason this felt even more foreboding and ominous than anything he might have said before, and even she could feel it. Her shoulders slumped as she stared at him, and she stared at him for a long time, her mouth going in a thin line. She had to enjoy this moment, she thought. Where she could pretend for a few seconds longer like she had some kind of fighting chance for him as she stared at him.
But she couldn’t hold onto the moment forever.
Hel couldn’t help herself now. All that rage gave way to something else, and her lib wibbled as her eyes watered. She swept a hand out before her, as if she was presenting the so called floor to him. “I have not liked any of this talk since it started. Please, Mot, my love, keep crushing me. I am waiting.”
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 9:43 pm
Mot winced.
But it needed to be said.
"I love you as a dear friend. Not as...." How could he put it delicately... No, delicate didn't work with Hel. He had to be up front with it. As much as he hated being so direct. "Not as anything else ...other than a friend."
Please don't cry.
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 9:47 pm
She didn’t say a thing. She didn’t even bat an eye lash. She just sat and stared. She just stared at him for a very long time.
“…This entire time?” She questioned softly, breaking the silence.
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 9:51 pm
"W-what? No, not the entire time." Mot clarified, wishing he could hug her, but uncertain if he should. "Just... my feelings... faded."
He felt horrible. How could someone just lose those feelings? Little did he realize that was just how life worked, but to him, in that moment, he felt like he was dirty. Dirty, and wretched.
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 9:59 pm
“…Oh.”
Her eyes were wide and glossy as she stared at him, her hands slumped on the ground beside her as her shoulders sagged even more. Somehow, this was worse. His feelings for her faded. He didn’t love her anymore. Deep down, part of her knew that that wasn’t true. He still did love her, just…not the way she wanted him to. On the surface though, the larger part of inner-conscience could only be bent on the thought that he didn’t love her anymore. Every stupid thought, every dumb dream she ever had of them living together after Amity and maybe even one day being married shattered into a million pieces, and it rained.
“…What am I suppose to do now?” She asked him quietly, staring down at her knees now. “I still love you with all my heart.”
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 10:04 pm
Mot's heart fell. He'd caused her so much heartache. Her hopelessness, dreams shattering around her. The grim reaper couldn't hold back. She was still his friend, and although it was his fault, she was in pain.
Mot leaned forward, resting his hands on her shoulders. "Hel... I am not the whole world. I will be by your side, just not..." He shook his head. It was best not to drill it into her skull so much. "Look, Hel. Look at me. Your heart will heal. Your heart will find another."
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