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 Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:27 pm
Tendaji had to talk to Esen. Tujil-dasu was back from wherever she’d gone and now his head was all a muddle. “Talk to Esen,” Tujil-dasu had said, so that was what he was going to do.
He tried not to think about the other things Tujil-dasu had said, or rather implied. That Esen didn’t love him. That he didn’t love her… a small growl escaped him as he paced around the place where he typically met Esen. Where they’d slept together… what was he doing? That was something only mates did! And Tujil-dasu was right – Esen had never said she loved him.
Esen was taking a nap, but snapped to full wakefulness as soon as she heard Tendaji pacing around, a skill she’d acquired during her tenure as a guard. She lay still a moment, keeping her breathing regular, but soon sat up and headed over to where Tendaji was. He looked pretty upset… she grimaced, not in the mood to sooth whatever was wrong with him. She liked him well enough and certainly enjoyed the nights they spent together, but she didn’t have the patience that Tujil-dasu possessed. When was that damn dog coming back anyway?
Tendaji stopped his restless pacing as he heard Esen approach. “Esen,” he said.
“Golden eyes.”
Tendaji resumed his pacing, but soon stopped. “Tujil-dasu’s back,” he said, not facing Esen.
Esen took a moment to digest this new information. So that was it. But why was Tendaji here, not with Tujil-dasu? She wasn’t any good at soothing wounded souls damn it!
Tendaji turned to face Esen. “She said… she said we should talk. You and me.”
“Ah,” said Esen, not looking forward to where the conversation was headed. “Did she say what about?”
Tendaji sat and stared at his paws. “She said… I should ask…” He took a deep breath and looked up to face Esen. “Do you love me?”
“No,” said Esen. Her stomach turned. She liked Tendaji well enough, but he didn’t… he didn’t love her, did he? She wasn’t the least bit interested in that kind of thing; there was much too much to do to settle down! And she missed the trees; she’d only come here on Tujil-dasu’s request and she didn’t intend to stay much longer.
Tendaji looked stricken. “But we slept together,” he wailed.
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:31 pm
Esen stared at Tendaji, perplexed. This wasn’t at all the way these things were supposed to go! Where on earth had Tujil-dasu unearthed this strange male?
“Yes we did,” she said carefully, “but it was just a fling. I don’t love you.”
Tendaji wanted to cry. This was… it was awful! Hadn’t his mother taught him better than this? Never, ever sleep with a female unless you were mates. No hit and run flings. Because then the female would get pregnant and have babies and they wouldn’t have a father and -
“You’re not pregnant, are you?” he blurted out.
“No!”
“Oh, okay, I…”
Esen gave Tendaji a pitying look. “You don’t love me.”
“Yes I do! I totally –“
“No,” she said, cutting him off. “You don’t even know what love is! You’re nothing more than a blushing adolescent.”
“Stop it,” Tendaji growled.
“No I won’t,” said Esen, standing up so that she towered over Tendaji. She thrust her face in front of his, forcing him to lean back. “This – what we have – isn’t love. You’ve spent a lot of time talking about how pretty I am, but this is the first time you ever claimed to love me. And you don’t even know what you’re talking about. We’re friends and we sleep together, that’s all.”
“But only mates sleep together!”
“Are you blind? Your own brother Safi –“
“I know what Safi’s done!”
“Then learn from it! You and I, we’re adults. We make our own choices. I chose to sleep with you so get over whatever guilt complexes you have locked away in your head.”
Tendaji took a deep breath. Esen was right: he’d never loved her. He simply hadn’t wanted to admit it to himself. The thought of sleeping with a female he didn’t love…
“But why did you sleep with me?”
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Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:33 pm
“Silly boy,” Esen sighed. She circled around Tendaji, deliberately brushing her shoulder against his. “Do you feel that?” she breathed in his ear. She pressed her body against his and rubbed her cheek along his neck, purring.
Tendaji took a deep breath, suddenly finding it very hard to concentrate. “Y-yes.”
“Well so do I. You’re a handsome boy, if inexperienced.” She smiled. “And the last is already half mended. I like you just fine Tendaji, I just don’t love you.”
“Does that mean… you’ll stay?”
Esen snorted. “Idiot! Don’t you ever listen? This is nothing more than a fling; I’ll return to my home soon enough. Although you’re always welcome to visit,” she teased.
“But then why did you come?” he asked, perplexed.
“You should have heard the way Tujil-dasu talked about you! How could I resist such a handsome, charming male? Little did I know you’d be so tongue tied and naïve.”
Tendaji stared into space, processing this information. Tujil-dasu, it all came back to her. Of all the lady leopards she could invite, why did she pick Esen? He had a nagging suspicion that he wasn’t Esen’s first. He certainly wouldn’t be her last! Hadn’t Tujil-dasu realized Esen would only be interested in a fling? Or… had she known all along? Was that why she picked her? The thought horrified him.
“Tujil-dasu was right about the handsome though,” Esen murmured, distracting Tendaji.
Tendaji blushed, but his relationship with Esen was long past that point. He knew the look in her eyes well enough. And maybe he didn’t love her and she didn’t love him… but was that really so terrible? It wasn’t like he had a mate he was cheating on, it was just… just friends sleeping together, right? He gave in and followed Esen’s lead, but not before suddenly recalling something Tujil-dasu had told him once: ”There’s a difference between making love and being in love.” It was an interesting thought and one he wanted to pursue further, but Esen was very good at being distracting.
Word count: 1,045
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