Welcome to Gaia! ::

Awake and Alive plays, as flashing white lights from above pulsate in unison with the opening orchestral music. As the more heavy rock portion of the song picks up, Jimmy Monera steps out onto the ramp, clad in... A pastor's robe? He steps down further, as Nathalie Roth follows behind him, clad in a similar outfit. Lester Cryden and the tag titles are nowhere to be seen.

He climbs up the steps, a white briefcase in hand, and once he's on the apron, he holds open the ropes for Nathalie. She climbs in under them, and he follows, motioning the cross on his chest as the music dies down. He produces a microphone from within his robe.

"After I saw that I wasn't going to be included in the first episode of this new, so-called 'reboot' of the wrestling federation that I've given the last year and a half of my life to, I was confused. I may have even been angry, being overlooked on such an important day. But after talking to my new wife about it..."

He motions to Nathalie, who proudly holds up her hand, showing off an expensive wedding ring.

"I was reminded of the fact that God has a plan and a purpose for every single person on earth. There was a reason I wasn't given a match tonight. It may not be what management intended, but it was what God intended. And I believe that purpose was to give this aging, rotting federation a TRUE rebirth."

He passes the briefcase to Nathalie, who holds it up so that he can open it. He pulls out a bible, as well as a small vial of water.

"In a moment, we are going to be celebrating the rejuvenation of this company, which is a true miracle in the face of an unfit management team, countless resignations, and some fairly stiff competition. And it will be the first time, in the history of our glorious sport, that a wrestling ring has ever been baptised. So if there's anybody in the back who's interested in joining us, and entering into the covenant of Baptism alongside us, then now's your chance to come out and make your selves known."

He pauses, to see if anybody will join him at ringside.

Jimmy waits patiently for Brody to stop talking, more amused than anything else. He ignores the audience, as he's learned to do over the years, and raises the microphone back up as Brody gives him the signal to answer.

"You 'literally' have no idea who I am, well I guess that's fitting, because I don't know who you are, either. Then again, that's what happens when a rookie like you starts his career in a new place... He eventually meets the veterans. And hopefully, when these encounters take place, the rookies in question have the common sense to trade some respect for some understanding."

He pauses for a second. Nathalie backs away a bit, as if she's expecting Jimmy to club this newcomer over the head with his microphone. Jimmy doesn't seem to notice this. "Now, I realize that in your case, you're not out here to insult me, or to embarrass me. You're out here with me because you have a serious question. And it wouldn't be right for me, as a man of God, to ignore that question. So allow me to indulge you."

Jimmy hands the briefcase, and all of it's contents, back to Nathalie. The only thing still in his hand is his bible, which he continues to hold against his chest. "God never closes a door without opening a window. His messages and plans may not always be clear, but with a calm mind, and the right perspective, you can find opportunity in ANY crisis that you may face. I could choose to believe that my schedule was free on the perfect night to give this federation the christening it deserves, but I don’t. Because I have faith in God, and I have faith in God’s plan.

Jimmy approaaches Brody, and looks him directly in the eye. ”Now that I’ve addressed your concern, whatare you goingto do? Are you going to remain out here, and take part in this historic event, or are you going to go back to the locker room and generously mind your own business?”

Jimmy nods, showing an unusual amount of self-control. Compared to previous behavior, at least. Rather than angry, he's just starting to look bored. He'd yawned twice, his only noticeable reactions to either Brody's athiest rambling or the crowd's reactions.

"Before I say anything about your arrogant criticizing the world's most popular belief system, there's something else about you that's been bugging me. I don't think you really know how to use the word 'literally' in it's proper context. 'Literally' means the literal use of a word or phrase. Meaning you’re not being figurative, symbolic or metaphorical. It's not meant to replace words like 'seriously,' and if you use it like that, you sound like a moron. You don't literally sound like a moron,you just do sound like a moron.

"You know what? I'll give you an example. If I was to say 'I'm literally going to punch you in the face for being a noisy little brat,' it wouldn't work, because I just said exactly what I meant. However, if I said I was literally going to kick your a**, then instead of saying that I was about to beat you to a bloody whimpering pulp, I'd be saying that I was going to shove my foot directly up your a**. I really hope that clears things up for you."

He pauses for a second, not really caring if he's bored the audience at this point. He's not here for them.

"In any case, you're not the first person to stand in my way and try to stop me from slowly saving this place. There was one more, during my first ever run here, who was an actual manager. A selfish and corrupt manager, but still a manager. He'd interrupt me in this ring, even backstage during my interviews, because he didn't want my beliefs anywhere near this building. He even tapped my phone calls, and tried to take away a hard-earned title shot. But I persevered. He couldn't stop me from delivering my message, and he had actual authority over me. What chance do you think you have? Some random ignorant welp who tells me to keep my beliefs to myself right after preaching the equality of our country? Some idiot who thinks the guy with the fake tail is a real demon? Some ROOKIE I've never heard of who thinks he's cool because he's got some 'profile,' or whatever the hell you mean by that? Are you talking about your haircut? Or are you talking about the WWF website? Because if you are, that doesn't make you special. Unless there's been some embarrassing management oversight, EVERYBODY has a profile on that thing."

Jimmy pauses to catch his breath. He holds his hand out to Nathalie, who hands him his briefcase. "This is happening... Um... You. Rookie. Whatever your name is. I'm baptising this ring, so that maybe, just maybe, the healing of this godless cesspool can start. I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't needed. You can either get the hell out, or stand by and watch."

At a certain point during Brody's long winded monologue, Jimmy's bored face finally begins to crack. At the mention of "Notorious G.O.D.", a thin smile creeps onto his face, quickly turning into a smirk. Behind him, Nathalie's reaction is much more visible, as she's actually had to clamp a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing and interrupting them.

Finally seeing Brody break for a breath of air, Jimmy raises his microphone back up. "You know, I find it very strange that you said you've 'literally' never heard of me, and yet somehow, you know what the name of my tag team is. So that means one of two things... Either you were lying, and you knew exactly who I was all along, or you and I just have a very similar sense of humor."

He pauses, and instead of focusing on Brody or his wife, or even on the fans, he shoots a mischievous gaze up the ramp, seeming to look right through the curtains to some far off individual. There's someone else who he wants hearing this next part.

"Since you so graciously brought it up, it's true, I don't have a profile on the company website. Which is exactly why I said 'Embarrassing Management Oversight' earlier. Now, since you're still new here, so green, and quite obviously a little on the naive side, I think it's important that somebody tells you what kind of company you're working for. It's my duty, as your senior and all."

He shrugs, as if it's some burden that he has no choice but to perform. "To start out with a little history lesson, the owner of this federation decided to leave us all high and dry right before Wrestlemania. Some other things happened, none of which I was particularly interested in, and what's the first thing this guy does when he suddenly comes back? He moves everybody's site profiles into some 'archives' section. His idea, if you can call it that, was that anybody still interested in being employed would move their own profiles back to the main page. But in his infinite wisdom, he forgets that that archive only has one page of storage space. So several peoples' profiles, including my tag partners' and mine, wound up getting deleted. And without a word of apology for the inconvenience, he expects us to rewrite them ourselves. Which we'll get around to. Eventually. The point is, you just signed up to work for a company that's being run worse than Wal-Mart."

He shoots his eyes back to the entrance, wondering if there's going to be a reaction, and somehow not even caring what it is. With no response in sight, he just shrugs again. "Well, since you're here now, let's check out that profile of yours."

He walks away from Brody, and right past a confused looking Nathalie, and rolls out of the ring from under the bottom rope. He roams the barrier for a few moments, ignoring his reception from the crowd, until he sees a skinny college-age kid taking a picture of his with a smart phone.

"Excuse me, can I borrow that for a second? I'll autograph it before I give it back to you."

"Umm... Yeah, sure." He hands it over a little reluctantly. He doesn't appear to be a fan of Jimmy's, but the promise of an autograph from ANY level of celebrity can be appealing.

Jimmy takes it, and starts pressing the screen, humming to himself for a bit until he comes to the page he wants. "Let's see... Brody... Robinson, right? It says here you're also a boxer... That explains a lot, actually... Umm... Pretty unoriginal moveset you got here. I mean, it's not that difficult to invent moves... The only hard part is describing them to people." He moves his finger around a little more, before looking backup to Brody. "You look like a hobo in some of these pictures."

Satisfied, he turns back to the strangely cooperative fan. "Hey, do you use this thing to text?" The fan nods, so instead of handing the device back, Jimmy just drops it on the floor, and starts to stomp on it, while the fan starts screaming at him for it. While a security guard comes over to make sure the fan stays behind the barrier, Jimmy leaves the broken piece of technological cancer on the floor in pieces, and returns to the ring.

"You know, Brony Robinson, I've never had a problem with non-religious folk. God gave us all free will so that we could choose our own paths, and earn our spot in the afterlife. I can't very well fault people for choosing the godless path, and ignoring the opportunities I create for them. What I really can't stand is all the atheists."

Out of nowhere, his tone has started to change, becoming a little lower, and a little more serious. Any hint of humor has left his face, leaving only a scowl. "Most people don't realize that there's a difference between the two. Non-religious folk are people that have decided that they don't need God in their lives. And you know what? It's not my place to judge them. I'll try to change their minds, of course, and show them the right path, but in the end, it's up to them to decide whether or not to make that leap of faith. A non-religious person would watch what I'm doing in the ring right now, and not get offended by it at all. It's just another piece of entertainment to them... Just one more kooky character expressing himself on-stage."

”But the Athiests... You people are different. You wear your lack of faith on your sleeves. You battle religion, especially when it comes to public displays of it. You’re always complaining about anything even remotely christian being displayed in public, stating that it’s offensive. You know what you people treat christians like? You treat us like ******** smokers. You beat us back into the shadows, and call us ‘radicals’ and ‘extremists’ just because we want to openly express the pride and joy that our faith has brought us. And you don’t do it to protect the masses. You do it to protect yourselves.”

By this time, the formerly riotous crowd has actually hushed. Whether they love him or hate him, they want to hear what he’s about to say, even if it’s just out of morbid curiousity. ”That’s the reason statues of the ten commandments get removed from government buildings. That’s why you never see manger skits during school Christmas Pageants. Because you people are afraid. More specifically, you’re afraid that if you even consider the possibility of God’s existence, you’d have to acknowledge the possibility of the afterlife, as well. You’d have to ask yourself some hard, brutal questions about the hedonistic lifestyles you’re all living. Questions you’re not mentally or emotionally prepared to ask. And if you’d like to prove me wrong, then tell me. Tell me, in explicit detail, what harm would have come if you had just stayed back there in the locker room, kept your head out of your a**, and just allowed me to have my eight-minute segment out here? A segment anyone could have avoided with a quick trip to the concession stands? That anybody watching at home could have avoided with a brief channel flip? What’s the worst that could have happened?”

He lowers his mike, and stares at Brody, waiting for his response.

With the majority of the audience growing more and more towards Brody's favor, even Jimmy... Who'd long since cast aside any worry over his own popularity... would start to get worried. This newcomer's play at being humble and benevolent was winning the crowd over to the point where Jimmy is honestly starting to wonder what kind of objects they'll start hurling at him.

"That was a very generous thing you did," Jimmy admits, as the crowd actually starts to applaud at his approval of Brody's actions. He has to bite his tongue to keep from screaming at them that he's not finished talking.
"But I have to wonder if you really thought it through. See, the only cell phones I've ever owned were all of the Nokia brand. So I really don't know all that much about the Apple brand. But from what I've heard, it's a really self-inclusive brand. So I have to wonder, would a Blackberry SIM card even work inside of an Iphone?"

He turns to the area where he'd last encountered that specific audience member, only to see he's not there. "Well, he's probably testing it out as we speak. So, in the meantime, I should probably clarify one thing I made a crack about earlier. I have nothing against the time-honored, illustrious sport of boxing. I was merely suggesting that maybe, throughout your career, you've probably taken a lot of hard blows to that arrogant little head of yours. It would certainly explain why you thought you were doing these people a favor by coming out here. And as for your other question..."

His intense expression finally cracks, twisting into a malicious smirk. "What would I do if a Jewish or Muslim man came out here and started preaching about whatever the hell they believe in? Well, you're right. I'd come out here and stop them, just like you tried to do to me. I would try to prevent them from spreading their false-prophet cultist crap to our fans. And I'd damn succeed at it. And before you start celebrating that fact, keep in mind what that means... That by your standards, you're just as bad a person as I am. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to."

He returns to the center of the ring, and holds his inviting arms out to the less-than-appreciative crowd. "Friends, today we celebrate life! We celebrate the miracle that is birth, the mystery that is called love, and the glory that is God. We rejoice with thankful hearts that God has called to us to be partners in the building of families, in the growth of this company, and in the renewal of Professional Wrestling as a whole. God has entrusted us with this ring beneath my feet, and today, we will be bringing it into a relationship with God and into a community of faith, so that God's boundless love, creating power, and renewing spirit can become a living, growing element of our work experience. In lieu of proper parents, my beloved wife and I shall enter this covenant with God, on behalf of the immortal WWF ring."

He holds out his hand to Nathalie, who happily takes it. With his other hand, he sprinkles the vial of water onto the ring, from the center all the way to the four turnbuckles. By the time he's done, the vial is empty.

"From this day forth, everything that takes place in this ring... From the sweet victories to the bitter tears of defeat, the bonds that will for to the ones that will be broken, each and every joy and transgression, shall be watched over by our lord Jesus Christ, and his father, our savior, the one true God. And in celebration of this blessed event, my wife Nathalie has chosen a song to perform for us."

He lets go of her hand, and steps aside... Incidentally, right next to Brody.

I closed my eyes and said a prayer
And when I looked down you were there
And you were placed into my arms
So amazing

Who am I that God would trust
His little one into my love
And now it all seems up to me
You’re small and helpless

Your steps are ordered
Your hairs are counted
I’ve been entrusted
With God’s beloved

How will I teach you how to walk
When I’m so prone to wander off
How will I teach you how to live
To love and give

How will I teach you how to trust
When I don’t keep my promises
How can I teach you all these things
I’m still learning

Your steps are ordered
Your hairs are counted
A life awaits you
Like a fountain

I am the only world you see
Your tiny hand reaches to me

So I take you by the hand
Close my eyes and pray again
Today I place my dreams for you
In His hands

And one day when you are grown
And walk with Jesus on your own
I know you finally will be
In good hands

Through the tears and
Through the laughter
The Lord goes with you
Before and after

He is longing
For the moment
He can walk with
His beloved

Our steps are ordered
Our hairs are counted
He has never
Missed a moment...

As her song ends, the crowd actually starts to clap... If for no other reason, than for the beauty of her performance. Jimmy claps too, and then nudges Brody to get his attention. "You don't want to be rude, do you?"