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 Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 12:01 pm
One more night. That was all the time she had left here in the hospital, and possibly as a hunter. In the morning she'd go to her division lead and tell them the bad news, but for now ...
For now she had one more night.
She was spending it going back through her journal. Her back had finally let up enough to let her sit up against a few pillows on the bed frame. She couldn't sleep, not when she knew what awaited her in the morning. So she was flipping through pages upon pages of details about Deus, as though the more she read it, the more easily it would be imprinted in her mind.
A smile crossed her face when she saw small comments from Junpei, things he'd insisted she write on the worn pages. It would be quickly replaced by a frown, as her hand went to the hairclip pieces in her lap. It hurt, all this faking with people, all these false smiles and reassurances that she was fine. She was most certainly not fine. She was cracking down the edges and trying to keep the pieces together until tomorrow. It was hard to say who was more broken between her and Junpei.
A door shut somewhere in the hallway, and Ami shoved the pieces back in her pocket, book slammed shut and set beside her legs. She closed her eyes and slid down an inch or two on the pillows, feigning sleep. It was probably some Lifer come to bother her, and she didn't want to deal with them at the moment.
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 4:38 pm
Wilson could only imagine what had happened to the captured hunters. Did it leave behind physical scars as well as mental scars? How deep did the injuries go? How battered and broken were they? Did he really want to see?
If he was going to visit them, he figured he should start with the one he knew best. He could recognize the trainees by face and maybe by name, but the only one he had actually held multiple conversations with was Ami.
Except they never had a chance to patch up the awkward before the invasion had happened. Well, nothing better than making up after a bunch of trauma, right?
Right.
He held a pot of congee in his hands. As he walked toward the hospital, the pot’s warm aroma wafted around him. Wilson breathed deeply, making sure not to take in a giant whiff of the delicious soup. The smell was nostalgic. He hadn’t gotten sick in a long time. The congee didn’t taste exactly like how his mother made it, but it was close enough.
When he opened the door to Ami’s room, she was already asleep. Figures. He set the pot aside and pulled up a chair. It was creepy to sit here and look at Ami. Wilson knew this.
He just didn’t know what to freaking do.
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Posted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 4:49 pm
Ami couldn't see who had come in, but she knew the weight of his steps, the tone of his heavy sighs. There was only one person who would sit and stay with her if it wasn't their duty- rather, only one person who was nice enough to stare at the ugly carnage that covered her arms and backside.
And it hurt. She'd already steeled herself shut, locked all the doors to her person. Slowly she'd been cutting everything off, severing ties that would be useless come morning. To fake a smile for nurses and strangers was easy, but for Wilson? A monumental task. A burden she really didn't need at the moment, but had to hold anyways.
She fluttered her eyes open to simulate "just waking up." When her eyes locked on him, she looked at him with cold indifference, the same look she had given everyone when she first came to the island. It wasn't a mean look, she didn't hate Wilson. She didn't know how to look for him, so everything reverted to a blank slate.
"Wilson," she said, a tiny, fake smile painting across her lips. "Did they put you on duty too?" Ami couldn't fathom why he'd be here for any other reason. She'd ignored him or awkwardly avoided him since her enormous blunder.
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Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 3:23 pm
The injuries were ugly, but Wilson made himself stare at them anyways. It could have been him instead of Ami. Rather, he probably would have preferred it that way. He wanted his friends to be happy. If it meant putting himself in the way of danger, then so be it. He didn’t want them hurt or in pain, but he knew that was an impossible task when all of his friends were hunters. Maybe he should have never come to the island. Maybe he could have convinced Em not to come either. They could have been living in the city still with their college buddies, but it was too late for that now.
He clasped his hands together and propped his elbows on his knees. Intertwined fingers were held in front of his mouth while he examined the injuries on Ami’s arms.
Then the blonde woke up. Automatically, lips curled into a smile and he put his hands down. The cold look was unsurprising. Didn’t Ami usually give him looks like those? Plenty of others had given him similar stares, some even icier. Wilson kept smiling. “They didn’t.”
The trainee leaned further into his seat. “I’m glad to see you’re awake.” His attention lingered on her smile. “You don’t need to smile. It’s okay.”
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Posted: Tue Aug 21, 2012 11:46 am
Ami adjusted on her bed, trying to keep it all together. It was nearly impossible in this traumatized state, but somehow Ami did it. Her finest point had always been her self-control.
The smile didn't leave her face. It was her defense, her barrier. "Why not? I'm back on the island, they're," She gestured to bandages wrapped around her arms, "Fixing me up. I get released tomorrow even."
She looked back at the ceiling, and began to recite slowly, "When thou wilt swim in that live bath, each fish ... will amorously to thee swim, gladder to catch thee, than thou him." A smile back at Wilson. "Donne's my favorite you know."
She felt like an idiot, reciting poetry for the past week or so. It was all she had to do in this damn infirmary- read poetry for hours on end, memorize lines over and over again. Of course, she failed to mention that most of Donne's were already in her repertoire. There was a reason he was tattooed on her back after all.
Her eyes flicked to the journal sitting on her bed. She'd failed to put it away. She went back to staring at the ceiling. Her logic was that if she ignored it, Wilson would too.
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Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 3:46 pm
Wilson eyed her smile carefully, his lips pressed together while he considered his reply. “Well, if you insist.” His smiled mirrored Ami’s as he slid deeper into his seat and locked his fingers together. “You’ll be checking out tomorrow? I’m glad to hear the physical injuries weren’t too serious.”
He closed his eyes once he realized the blond was reciting. When he opened his eyes again, he still saw her smile. “I’m afraid I’m not familiar with a lot of poetry.” There was a long pause, almost as if he was going to leave it at that and let the conversation shrivel away, but then he piped up again, “Is it your favorite poem? The one you recited just now.”
The journal was not difficult to spot. He had noticed it a while ago, but the man wasn’t one to pry. Whether it was a journal to record her thoughts or poetry or other snippets of writing, he didn’t intend to ask. “Do you eat a lot here?” Wilson half-nodded toward the pot of congee. “I made you something in case. It’s light so you should be able to eat it.” He turned away, lips pursed. “Are you okay?”
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Posted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 10:39 pm
"No, my favorite is probably-" Ami started, but stopped. Wilson didn't like poetry. He wouldn't care. "Sorry, I'll stop." A genuine smile crossed her face, the same one that always seemed to creep around when she lost herself in conversation with Wilson. "You don't want to open that can of worms," she jested.
She looked at the pot of congee. Her stomach was killing her- one could only live off supplemented nutrients for so long after all- but the idea of eating made her want to throw up. Just having Wilson in the room like this made her appetite disappear entirely. still, she said, "Thank you." It was just like Wilson to even think up a food her stomach could handle in such a fragile state.
To his last question, Ami stumbled a bit. She wanted to say she was doing fine. Things were going okay, she was going to be good as new tomorrow. Physically, she was doing wonderfully. Being a hunter accelerated healing like no other, and the Lifers were working wonders on her. She could just say "yes I'm fine, and thank you," and Wilson would walk out the door, thinking nothing was wrong. It was exactly what she'd told all the nurses, all the various people that had come to her, and they'd turned away, just like she suspected Wilson would.
But all that came out of her mouth was a quiet, "No."
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Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2012 3:11 pm
He mirrored her sincere smile. “You don’t have to. If talking about it makes you happy then I would love to hear about it, but in the end it’s your choice.”
“I hope you don’t mind the taste, or lack of it, really,” he laughed softly.
Wilson nodded at her answer. “I figured.” He kept his fingers twisted together while he pressed his lips together. Where did he go from here? Should he leave Ami to her own devices or should he stay? He looked over at the pot. “Are you hungry?” As soon as the words left his lips, he sighed and shook his head. Now he was avoiding the topic he wanted to talk about. “When you check out of the hospital I hope we can…be friends again.” Awkwardly, he rubbed the back of his neck. “It’d be nice if we could talk normally like before.”
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Posted: Sat Sep 01, 2012 10:39 pm
Ami nodded gratefully, but held her stomach. She wasn't really in the mood for food. Well no, she hadn't been in the mood for anything the entire time she'd been in here. Food just sounded bland and tasteless no matter what it was.
Wilson changed the subject to something even worse though. Good job Wilson.
Tears welled up in her eyes, though not for the reason Wilson was probably imagining. She couldn't be friends with him after this. There wasn't going to be an after this. As soon as the hospital was done, it just meant ... pods.
She talked through her tears, almost as though they weren't even there. It was the first time she'd cried since losing Junpei to Soren. It would only come in front of Wilson, in front of someone she felt entirely comfortable with. "I ... yeah ... friends. We can do that."
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Posted: Fri Sep 07, 2012 5:08 pm
He regretted his words as soon as they left his lips. His nails dug deeply into his palms, but Wilson kept his calm expression. Silently, he averted his eyes away. The tears were because of him. Maybe they weren’t for what he thought they were for, but he knew he at least had his hand somewhere in making Ami cry. Please don’t cry. A part of him wanted to hug her, to pat her back reassuringly and say something to make her feel better. The other part wanted to leave right now because how do you console someone cry when you made them cry in the first place? It was like he was a little kid again, hiding under the covers as he heard his mother quiet cries.
“You don’t have to force yourself.”
Wilson stood up and slid his hands into his jacket pockets. He headed for the door, but just before he pushed it open he stopped. “It’ll be fine.” His tone sounded cheery as the familiar phrase tumbled out. “Everything will be fine.” I’m fine.
“Try a bit of the congee when you’re hungry, okay?” He turned his head slightly to look at her one more time, but decided to leave without a second look. I’m fine.
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2012 11:10 am
Ami quickly wiped her face with her sleeve, trying to compose herself. It was heart-wrenching and confusing when Wilson was here, but it was even worse when no one was around. At least with him there she could talk and forget. Without him, she'd be forced to sink into her thoughts- right now, that was the most volatile place on Earth.
"No- wait! Wilson..." she said, trying to get a hold of herself.
It was too late though. He was already out there door.
Her arm was wet with tears now, and Ami chastised herself for it. She hadn't done it since the corridor, and now it was coming back to kick her in the butt again. This happened every damn time. She didn't used to be such an easy crier.
A few snivels, and she curled up around the pillow left on her bed. She felt so alone between the nightmares and the empty visits that filled the space when she wasn't asleep. Why did she always word things so coldly and cry all the time? She didn't mean to make things hard on people. She didn't mean to drag up old feelings. Not everything she said was meant to sound like an insult. Now even Junpei wasn't here to comfort her. The only time she'd felt like this was after Adam, when she'd been subject to living alone with no real purpose anymore.
Maybe it would just be better for everyone if she threw herself in a pod.
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