{ OFFICE } MARK'S LAIR OF AWESOME

[Zoobey]

A passing Hunter looks at you funny.

Do you really, really want to go visit Mark? You could seriously ask anyone else for sensitive classified information, you could totally ask his division leader inste- oh wait. Yeah they see your problem. Okay, fine. Two floors down, basement of the main HQ right wing. You'll probably need a secret password or something, oh and, good luck.

The Death assistant is currently chilling wearing a Jedi Master t-shirt. The door, other than the ten thousand KEEP OUT, AWESOMENESS AT WORK stickers on the front, is half-open, revealing a small army of beer bottles in various states of use. There are exactly six and a half - one of them was currently being refurbished - Runic computers and one laptop at work, all humming oddly in unison. Around Mark is pretty much everything from tiny collectible Star Wars action figures, to porno mags, to several disassembled Runic tech, to a large and growing stack of files titled "CLASSIFIED" to a small printer humming and putting down what seemed like a steady chart - HALLOWEEN, FEAR READINGS - in the background.

It takes him a while to to spot any visitors, but his response is always the same: a very slow turn of his swivel chair as he steeples both fingers together. "So you require my services." A pause, more steepling and eyebrow wiggling. "But can you afford its price." Another pause. "You know, like, in money. Cash. Moolah. I require monies for information okay."

OOC

Anyone can visit Mark's office, but he indeed does require money, you'll need to ask him for an estimated quote, depending on what kind of information you want
- Yes, he does indeed need to be bribed.

 

[Zoobey]

Five whole seconds before recognition finally dawned in his somewhat two-week old beer addled mind.

Bottles went clanging everywhere as Mark stood up, and quickly began grabbing random things - his stack of papers - a few beer bottles - half the sheets still printing. "ERROR! This uh, this user is not available right now! Please log in and try again!!"

Unfortunately Kat was still there.

"Error error error ABORRRTTTT!!!"

lividpeas

 

[Zoobey]

Papers went flying everywhere as Mark visibly jumped a foot in the air, involuntarily jerked his arms up in defense, and possibly, very possibly, might have almost wet himself.

Seconds later, a sniveling, dirty ragtag mess of a Death assistant was hiding behind his desk, for some reason checking the printer's results at the same time. "What- what do you want? Is this a misery thing, oh god please don't tell me its a misery thing. I'm sorry Billy, I tried."

Lividpeas

 

[Zoobey]

"Well- uh, Mark is not here, leave a message." Pause. "BEEEEP!"

He didn't get out from behind the desk, though at some point he took out a cross, stuck it above the desk with a triumphant a ha! Pause. Clunk. The cross was put down in favour of two hands waving in the air. "Exorcismus spiritus .... omnus..... demon be gone!"

Lividpeas

 

[Zoobey]

"It did?" Mark backed up as far, far as he could without upsetting the printer, which was a grand total of one foot back. Two t-rex arms were back waving at Kat full force. "Potentus... uh.... spiritus...... more omnus..... demonica...... John Travolta..... Luke Skywalker...." At this point he was just mumbling words, "... Demon be gone times infinity."

A pause as Mark stared right up at Kat. "So are you like, not evil now?"

LividPeas

 

[Zoobey]

"I did it?" He looked like he doubted himself for a second, but thankfully, Mark remembered exactly how awesome he was. "I did it! I am so freaking awesome, phew, HIGH-FIVE!"

He suddenly remembered who he was talking to, and put his hand down and sat meekly back down in his corner. "So um, now that you're not evil and stuff, are you gonna leave so I can do like, work? You know, in peace cuz I wouldn't mind you watching but this is super awesome secret Jedi mind trick hacking technology here and it is so like, super sensitive." A haughty sniffle.

lividpeas

 

[Zoobey]

"Oh," Came the rather cautious and severely disappointed reply. Mark tried his very best to edge around Kat to his other computer screen that was currently blipping 'Processing complete' without actually touching her or really, getting within a one foot radius of her in case he caught like, leftover evil demon spirit stuff or something. Evil demon vibes. Nasty stuff. "Was that before or after the part where you were evil?"

Lividpeas

 

[Zoobey]

"You can't- you can't be both! That's like - that's like being a Jedi Master and a Sith Lord at the same time! Just not possible, nuh-uh, nope, no way." Mark stroked his chin and then seriously began to consider it. "Well, maybe if you were born to a Sith Lord, and raised that way, but realized halfway that you were always meant to be a Jedi, or I guess there's always the whole Anakin thing, but we like to pretend the last three movies didn't exist, for obvious reasons. Shame. Such great shame."

Mark was also amazing at stalling for time, intentionally or not. A pause as he continued musing and then finally a- "Well.... it depends. What can you offer to me for my services?"

Lividpeas