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 Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 5:07 pm
“I’m glad you like your present,” Paris said, “but you should give it a rest for a little bit and come swim with me.”
The Gallos’ backyard was crowded with people whose names he could barely remember, most of them various members of Chris’s overlarge family coming to wish their cousin or nephew or something-twice-removed a happy twentieth birthday. Some of them he’d seen over various holidays. Most of them he’d seen on this very day last year, though last year they’d all been under the impression that he was a girl. Now that that shroud had been lifted, well… he was having a difficult time not feeling a bit awkward around some of them.
He’d taken refuge in the pool when Peter and a few of the other kids had decided to ditch their party clothes for swimsuits, splashing around and trying to have fun while ignoring the feeling he got every once in a while that told him he was being stared at. He figured the staring could be for a couple of different reasons, but he couldn’t say he liked it either way. It was annoying and disconcerting, and mostly he’d like to just go back inside and hide out in his room for a while.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t do that. He didn’t want any of Chris’s snootier relatives to think that they’d actually won.
Paris swam his way over to where Chris sat at the edge of the pool, strumming away at the ukulele he’d given his boyfriend earlier that day. He crossed his wet arms over Chris’s knees and bobbed there in the water, looking up at him with an expression that was meant to be inviting but probably looked more like “I’m uncomfortable, come make me feel better.”
“You can keep practicing later,” he said. “Come on, I’m lonely with just the little kids.”
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 10:44 pm
"I love my present," Chris corrected, pulling his fingers over the strings of the ukelele as he grinned contently down at Paris in the water. Being surprised by something he'd never really thought of getting definitely made it special. And the fact that Paris had been the one to get it... well, it just went to show how well he knew him by now.
But since he didn't want to upset his boyfriend by ignoring his request, he lowered the instrument to reach out and gently poke Paris's nose, laughing as he did so. He wasn't really sure what he had expected when he woke up that morning, and while he never really liked large parties, he could at least appreciate the company of those he cared most about.
"Alright, alright..." he consented, turning just slightly to be able to carefully place the ukelele in its case and then placed it on top of the lounge chair next to the water, not wanting to risk it getting wet. That would just be horrible!
He could see a couple of his relatives glancing his way out of the corner of his eye, but he did his best to ignore them, sliding into the water next to his boyfriend instead. It upset him a little. Not because he cared about what they thought, but because he hated being judged for such petty things.
"Happy?" he asked, turing his attention instead to Paris. All Chris wore was a pair of navy and white swim trucks, and even though he was in the water, he didn't dip underneath yet, still a bit self-conscious about his hair when it got wet and dried weird. Yeah, he was strange, but whatever... he was allowed to have weird quirks.
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 5:24 pm
Paris scrunched his nose up and rolled his eyes as he was poked, but he smiled in amusement nonetheless, shaking his head at his boyfriend as Chris finally put his present away and slipped into the water with him. He didn’t venture out to the deeper end of the pool all that often since he wasn’t the strongest swimmer, but with Chris joining him he felt a little better about risking it, and he gave Chris’s arm a tug to pull him a little further away from the younger kids.
Satisfied that they had as much privacy as they were going to in a backyard full of people—half of whom seemed to take issue with one thing or another—Paris slipped his arms over Chris’s shoulders and draped them loosely around his neck, bobbing there in the water without his feet touching the ground.
“I’m mostly happy, yes,” he answered, able to show him a genuine smile.
He certainly hadn’t been cured of his grief yet. That would likely take much longer, if he was ever even cured at all, but he was getting by—better now that he had been. He didn’t know if it was the therapy or the medication he’d been put on or if it was being with Chris again that did it, or if it was a combination of everything. Whatever the case, he felt a little more like his old self and he was doing the best he could to settle his issues. So far he couldn’t really complain.
Of course, there were still things left unresolved that needed fixing.
“Now that I’ve got you all to myself,” he began, pausing to lean in to steal a quick kiss, “I wanted to talk to you about you and me and living together.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 10:40 pm
It was easy for Paris to not touch the pool floor when he was only five three… but Chris? He was a full foot taller than him. And as such, he was still able to touch the bottom, even as they waded out to where the floor started to slope down to deeper waters.
Seeing Paris smile like that, though… Chris’s heart made a funny flutter and he couldn’t help but smile back. It had been a good day so far. Even with relatives and family friends who weren’t as accepting as his own parents had been, it wasn’t enough to bother him too much.
Maybe it was the therapy and medication that had Paris acting like he used to when days were happier and much more simple… but Chris like to think it had something to do with him as well…
Of course, that just meant he was a jackass for putting Paris in such a situation in the first place, but… he was now over his strange inability to come to terms with his feelings when all he really wanted was to be happy, but especially for Paris to be happy.
Chris stared at Paris after he kissed him, surprised about the topic of conversation, but not because he didn't want to talk about it, but because he felt guilty for rushing Paris into it the first time. "Are... you sure?" he cautioned, his hands at his boyfriend's waist to keep him better afloat, although he seemed to be doing a decent job on his own. "Like... oh... just in general...? You're not thinking about wanting to again, are you?" he frowned nervously, not wanting to get his hopes up or make Paris feel like he was being pressured into anything.
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 10:52 pm
“Well, I know you want me to move back in with you,” Paris replied, playing with some of the shaggy hair at the nape of Chris’s neck.
This wasn’t anything they hadn’t discussed already. It’d been a topic of conversation almost as soon as they’d gotten back together—even though they hadn’t ever really been apart in the first place—and one that Paris had taken a little extra caution with this time around. He certainly didn’t want it to feel rushed. More importantly, he didn’t want Chris to feel rushed, though Paris would admit to missing the days when he and Chris had shared his boyfriend’s apartment together.
But that was part of the problem. It was Chris’s apartment. No matter how much time Paris had spent there, it hadn’t ever really been his. He hadn’t earned it or paid for it or been able to say he owned it in anyway. It’d just been a place he’d stayed at—a nice place, a comfortable place, but he’d always thought of it as “Chris’s place” and nothing more.
He didn’t want it to be like that this time around.
“I told you I’d think about it,” he continued. He watched Chris cautiously but kept a relaxed expression on his face all the same, leaning in every once in a while to peck Chris’s lips or nuzzle his cheek. “And I have been thinking about it, and I thought maybe we could compromise.”
Paris pulled back just far enough to be able to look straight into Chris’s eyes as he said, “I want to live with you again, but not in your apartment. I want us to get our own place.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:13 pm
All Chris could do was stare at him, not really sure he'd heard him right at first. Paris wanted to move back in with him... but not in his apartment...?
"What's wrong with my apartment?" he asked, trying not to sound offended, but he felt a little hurt that there was something was apparently wrong with his apartment. His big, spacious apartment with its pretty walls and floors and giant window and retractable blinds and heated floors in the bathroom, and just... everything.
He liked his apartment! He liked his bed and his kitchen that he rarely used except to put stuff in the fridge or the microwave, but it was one that Paris and his mom could easily use. And Anna liked it too!
"Is it because of the bathroom thing...? Because I swear it won't get like that again," he whimpered, not sure he liked the idea of getting another apartment. Hell, he didn't even have to pay rent. His grandparents owned it, so... why not?
"And it's the beginning of the school year... most leases start at the beginning of the year... I mean... I'm not saying no, I just..." he paused, frowning and looking worried that he was going to end up offending his boyfriend. "I like my apartment..."
And yeah, he knew he was a big, spoiled baby...
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:27 pm
He expected the whining.
Paris certainly hadn’t thought this conversation would be easy. He didn’t think it would be too difficult either, nor did he suspect that it would end in an argument, but he knew his suggestion wasn’t something that Chris was going to agree to right away. Chris was spoiled, Paris knew that well enough. And, to be quite honest, he didn’t usually mind it. If anything he thought it was cute—and there was a difference between being spoiled and being selfish, he knew, and selfish was something that Chris most certainly was not.
All it would take was a little coaxing, he was sure—a gentle voice, a few reassurances, his reasons why. Chris would likely continue to whine about it for a few days yet, even if Paris managed to get him to agree to it now, but in the end Paris knew that it would be good for the both of them.
“There’s nothing wrong with your apartment, Pooh Bear,” he said, lowering his voice around the nickname to keep anyone else from hearing it. He did at least try to keep some things between the two of them. “Or at least there wouldn’t be if it was actually yours.”
He met Chris with a level stare and continued. “You know what this is about. It’s come up before. When we first moved in together I told you I wanted to help pay for things,” he pointed out. “Well, now I think we should take it a step further. I know you didn’t break things off before because you really wanted to be independent, but I think a little independence from your parents will do you some good. We can find a place before school starts. You’ve got money saved up, I’ve got money saved up, and your scholarship money and my loan money’ll help, too. We can afford a decent place together.”
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 11:44 pm
He would never understand Paris's need to pay for things he didn't have to. Chris had money. He had plenty of money they could throw around if they wanted. No, it wasn't responsible and wasn't in his character to just be completely needless in his spending... But Paris didn't have to pay for s**t.
"Ugh, do we really have to discuss this??" he whined, rolling his head on his shoulders as if he was trying to stretch out a kink. That kink being Paris's incessant need to pay for things. "Why can't we just stay at my apartment and you can save up even more money? We'll worry about getting a place later... like... after college or something. You've got four years, so..."
This was dumb, they shouldn't be arguing about this. He did appreciate that Paris kept that ridiculous nickname quiet, though... As much as he was amused by it in private, he didn't exactly want his younger brother or younger cousins to start calling him that... or his aunts and uncles teasing him.
He was a very self-conscious individual when it came down to it! At least when it came to how people thought about him and how he looked... It wasn't anything he obsessed about, but... still.
"Paris... I just..." he started, and then let out a breath he didn't know he was holding as he deflated a bit. He didn't want to hurt Paris's feelings. But... his apartment!! He kinda loved it...
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Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 4:44 pm
“Yes, Christopher, we have to discuss this,” Paris said decisively.
He could have easily just gone along with his boyfriend and moved back into Chris’s apartment, and maybe things would have even been okay if he’d done that, maybe things would have been different this time around and they’d have had more success, but relying on generosity—as nice as it was to receive sometimes—wasn’t something he was entirely comfortable with. Paris liked working, he liked being his own person, he liked living his own life and being able to say “I own this because I earned it.”
When it came down to it he and Chris were just from two completely different walks of life. They had similar views on many things, but then there were moments like this when Chris just couldn’t seem to understand where Paris was coming from—and if he did understand then he didn’t want to, because it meant that he’d have to admit some things about himself and his privileged life. Paris had spent eighteen years with his father working long hours, and a childhood with his mother taking on extra shifts to put herself through school and finance Paris’s dance lessons; Chris, on the other hand, had a father with an important career and a mother who could afford to stay home and give her kids everything they wanted.
Paris didn’t think either instance was better than the other, but he thought there was something that could be said for having experiences outside of what one considered “the norm.” He’d already immersed himself into Chris’s world. Now he thought it might be nice for Chris to get out of his carefully cultivated comfort zone and stretch his wings a little bit.
“Can’t you at least think about it?” he wondered, sliding one of his hands behind Chris’s neck to gently massage it. “I really think it’d be good for us, and for you. Besides, you know it wouldn’t be any different if we waited until I graduated. You still wouldn’t want to do it, and you’d probably prepare some other excuse not to in the meantime.”
Despite the mild disagreement, Paris still couldn’t help but smile brightly, his heart giving a happy little flutter to think that Chris already planned on being together that long, four years from now when they’d both be out of school and hopefully out in the world making the most of their lives. It was what he’d wanted, what he’d come to envision during the time in which he and Chris had been together. Hearing Chris talk about it like that too made him feel indescribably happy.
The grin on his face was probably the widest it’d been in months.
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Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 8:21 pm
Chris opened his mouth to argue with Paris some more, but was stopped by the look on his boyfriend's face. He just looked... way too happy for the conversation they were having. In particular the way he was acting like a spoiled little kid who wanted to keep the comforts he was used to.
"What...? What did I say?" he wondered, not against seeing Paris look so happy. He just didn't know what he'd said to have him react that way. He certainly hadn't agreed to anything. Or maybe there was a booger or something embarrassing on his face...??
He shifted uncomfortably on his feet and sighed lightly, relaxing under the gentle massaging at the back of his neck. "I'll think about it..." he consented eventually. It wasn't that he didn't want to be with Paris. Of course he wanted to be with him and live with him and whatever... He just was used to having everything the way he wanted it. If he was honest with himself, he would be able to asmit that he really didn't like change all that much. At least not when it came to his personal life. Consistency was nice. It was easy.
But maybe that was the point? Maybe Paris was right. Maybe it would be good for both of them to just strip away everything they already had and just... start fresh.
That didn't mean he wanted to agree to everything right away, though.
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Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 8:36 pm
“Nothing~! I just love you!” Paris said in a happy, lilting voice.
He did a sort of merry wiggle in the water, that either looked like a weird attempt at a dance or a little kid needing to use the bathroom. The smile remained on his face even though he didn’t immediately get the type of agreement he wanted. He didn’t even expect Chris to really think about it all that much, despite what he’d said, but he was feeling a bit too delighted by their situation to care.
Hearing “I love you” had been an experience in and of itself. Hearing something along the lines of “I expect to have a future with you” only served to reinforce that. All of a sudden Paris’s mind went down a happy path where he and Chris were together five, ten, twenty years from now, living their lives free of war, dancing and playing ball and hosting bougie dinner parties for their equally bougie friends. It was at once charmingly peaceful and sickeningly sweet, and Paris had to pull himself out of it before he got too far ahead of himself.
“I’ve already been looking up some places,” he admitted, shaking himself free of his foolishness and getting back to the original topic. “There’s plenty that are actually pretty affordable, and in a decent part of town, and I’ve made sure they allow pets so we don’t have to keep Anna and Sassy here. So, you know, if you could maybe think about it in the next day or two, we could go take a look at some of them.”
Paris plastered on an innocent “Aawwww, but you love me~!” expression just in case Chris was about to start fussing again. “What’s the difference between staying in your apartment and getting our own place together except that it probably won’t be as big or have heated floors in the bathroom? You’ll still be with me~” he said.
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Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 8:51 pm
A pause and then a sigh. He couldn't stay frustrated or displeased when Paris sounded all happy like that. Maybe he was just pathetic. Maybe they were both pathetic... Was this what being in love did? Just completely melt away any kind of anger...? No... that wasn't true. It just happened to work that way for them. Because they had the personalities to allow themselves to push everything they didn't like aside in favor of the other's happiness. They were just... strange. Or maybe that was how it was supposed to work.
"I love you, too," he said softly, trying to ignore the kids in the water nearby and their splashing and fooling around. Or the others hanging around the grill or lounging on the patio... He could feel their eyes on them every so often, but he tried keeping his attention focused on Paris.
"You alread-- ugh," he whined, feeling like he was already fighting a losing battle. "Why bother asking for my opinion when you're just going to do it anyway? And I know I'll be with you. I just... I like my apartment!" It didn't have anything to do with wanting or not wanting to be with Paris! He just liked the comfort of his damn apartment with its heated floors and all the comforts in the world.
He was sure Paris already knew he'd won... it was probably why he'd already started looking at places. Part of him was saying to just suck it up and be an adult about it, or be happy of the fact that Paris wanted to live with him again. But Chris never said he wasn't difficult.
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Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 9:06 pm
Paris’s smile immediately turned into a small, concerned frowned.
“I didn’t say I didn’t want your opinion,” he gently pointed out, going back to massaging the back of Chris’s neck. “And it’s not like I went ahead and made appointments without you. I was just looking to see what was out there. I wanted to know what our options were before I even brought it up, so you didn’t just think I was doing it on a whim or something. I’m serious, I think this is a good idea.”
There were other ways to achieve something of the same effect, of course. They could start paying for things on their own when it came to the apartment Chris was already using, but it was an expensive place and while Paris was sure the electric, water, and cable bills wouldn’t be any problem for them, the rent itself likely would. And there was a part of him that wanted a clean slate, that liked the idea of making their own home together instead of borrowing a place that didn’t truly belong to them.
He wished he knew how to explain that without sounding unappreciative or making Chris feel bad for having so much. This wasn’t about that at all. This was about the two of them making a future on their own, creating a new foundation and building up from that.
“If you really don’t want to then… I don’t know, we’ll figure something else out,” Paris allowed. He tried not to look too disappointed, because he certainly didn’t want Chris to agree just to appease him. “I just… I like being independent. I like the idea of us being independent. I love your parents, I’m thankful that they’ve let me stay here for so long, and I’m thankful that your grandparents let us use the apartment, but don’t you think there has to come a time when we go off on our own? Why not try it now? We have enough saved up to last us a while, and I’ll be working again once school starts next week…”
Paris trailed off and wondered if this was just another instance of him trying too hard. If Chris had a problem with not being independent enough, perhaps Paris had a problem with being a little too independent.
But there had to be some sort of a balance, and he was doing what he could to find it.
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Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 9:20 pm
He didn't want Paris to be upset. That wasn't his intention at all! He was just... trying to figure out a way that they could both be happy.
Chris glanced shyly away when Paris's smile fell, feeling guilty that he was being so very difficult about this when it was obvious that all Paris wanted was a chance for them to have something of their own. He could understand that. Or at least he was trying to understand that. Yes, he was used to having things spoon fed to him when it came to the comforts of his life, but... that didn't mean there was anything wrong with not wanting to be taken care of by others.
"I'll think about it, okay?" he said, glancing back to his boyfriend and leaning in for a quick peck on his lips as he tried to reassure him. "I'm sorry... I want to live with you. I think it's a good idea for us to just... go off on our own... I'm sure that, if we do find a place... that I'll learn to like it just as much as the one I'm in now. Hell, if it wasn't for you, I don't think I would give a s**t about it..."
Maybe he was more emotionally attached to his apartment than anything else. It was the apartment where Zirconia broke in and Chris found out that he was really a knight. It was where the Jovians had their first meeting (even if they didn't all know it was his apartment roof they were standing on. It was where he and Paris had spent many long days and nights curled up together on the couch or in bed, getting to know one another...
If his only real argument for wanting to stay in the apartment was the "heated floors", well... he didn't think he had much of a case.
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Posted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 9:44 pm
Paris could agree that there was some emotional attachment to Chris’s current living space. He wasn’t completely immune to sentimentality, after all. He’d stayed there and gotten comfort when he’d found out his father had taken ill, he’d revealed himself as Ganymede there, he’d helped Chris when he was injured, they’d decided to reestablish a committed relationship there after Christmas, they’d spent an awkward first Valentine’s there, and he stayed there for weeks when he’d fallen ill, letting Chris take care of him for once.
But they weren’t all good memories, and maybe that was one of the reasons he wasn’t anxious to return to it so quickly. Chris’s apartment was where he’d exposed himself as a liar and a fraud, it was where he’d drunken away the hours when his father died, it was where he and Chris had broken things off a second time, put their relationship on hold and tried something different.
Going back there would make him happy on some level. He felt comforted and safe every time he was there. From the moment he’d first set foot inside, he hadn’t wanted to leave. Yet, to Paris, returning to it wouldn’t result in them pushing forward, but settling back into something that had already been through too much change. Their relationship was different now than it’d been the last time they’d lived together there.
He wanted to encourage that, to nurture and grow it and make something out of it.
“I want to be with you, Chris,” Paris told him, returning the brief kiss and inching a bit closer in the water, his arms still slung over Chris’s shoulders and around his neck. “I love you. I want to do it right this time. I want it to work, and I know that’s not something we can force, and I don’t want to, but I think we need this. And I think, when you do take the time to think about it, you might start looking at things a little differently, too.”
He paused to kiss him again, holding it a bit longer before clinging to Chris in a tight hug. “We don’t have to come to any sort of decision right now, okay?” he said. “You can take your time. I just wanted to mention it, so you’d know what I was thinking.”
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