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 Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 12:46 pm
After the Deth outing, Shun had been a little broodier than usual. Somehow, he managed to get less sleep than he had been getting, as well as eating less. His heart bore a heavy weight that he just wasn't accustomed to having. It hurt a lot. Especially since a few of his fears regarding her condition seemed to be fairly plausible right now. That didn't stop him from picking things up for Mitsu, however. While she rested, he stepped out to go fetch something for her. Her strength was returning rather slowly, so he was trying to do what he could to help her restore it.
On the plus side, he was pretty good with the whole poker face deal. Most likely only those more familiar with him could see the subtle differences in his features. Regardless it still wasn't hard to see the he hadn't exactly been in a good mood as of late.
Looking down at the small bag of food, he decided to take a slightly longer route on the way back to the dorm. Mitsu would be asleep for awhile, and he needed some time to try and clear his thoughts a bit.
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 12:54 pm
Mot slowly ragged his feet around campus. He had no rea destination other than he really didn't feel like being in his dorm room. Sure, he was in a better state since fishing with Kettil. However, his goals were gone, and he felt lost. Weightless and lost.
The twiggy reaper noticed Shun not too far off, and managed a small smile and a wave. Just how was he doing? Mitsu had amnesia or something, and that had to be hard on him.
Him and Mot were not all that close, but they had known each other a long time. Seeing him now, he definitely seemed different.
"Uh.." He hesitated before greeting, "Howdy, Shun."
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 12:59 pm
Shun had been pretty lost in thought as he walked at a slower pace than what his usual stride was. Though, seeing some movement up ahead managed to snap him back to reality to an extent. Oh. It was Mot. Quietly, he nodded in greeting to the other reaper, figuring that the cowboy was just out for a walk or something to that effect.
"Hey," he added a few moments later.
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 1:12 pm
Mot stood there awkwardly for a moment. There wasn't really much to say, nothing that wouldn't rub the wound more raw for Shun. Mot wasn't exactly in a comforting sort of mood these days. He could barely help himself, let alone Shun of all people.
"S-so.. uh.." He sighed at himself and rubbed his temple. "Mitsu.. that whole uh.. nevermind.. anyway um.. are you holding up okay?"
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 1:28 pm
Coming to a stop as Mot began to speak a little more, Shun placed his free hand into his pocket, grimacing for a moment as he sounded like he was going to bring up something regarding Mitsu. The cowboy saved himself a bit there, however. Thinking for a moment, he considered just how he should reply.
"I'll let you figure that out. How would you hold up if someone you loved couldn't remember you and may never regain those memories or the way they once felt?"
His voice came out colder than he meant to.
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 1:33 pm
Mot's nervous smile froze, his eye twitching at Shun's cold answer. "Ah.." He squeaked, casting his gaze to the side. "I imagine... it to be the absolute worst feeling. Impossible to really cope.."
His hands fell to his sides, where his fingers fidgeted with the fabric of his clothes.
"It must be difficult." Why was he talking to him again? Oh right.. trying to be a good friend. Right. "But, you've continued to stand by her regardless. It's noble of you. I'm sure she needs you."
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 1:37 pm
"Noble.." Shun repeated under his breath. Was it? He didn't know. Judging things by that wasn't really something he did typically.
"She needs me.. for now. I don't stand by her because it's noble or whatever. She deserves support. And I've once promised her," he said while shifting his weight in place.
"It doesn't really matter how hard it is."
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 1:59 pm
"No I suppose not.." He muttered uncertainly. Shoot. He used to be good at making people feel better. Scratch that. He was good at making Lizzy feel better. Not only did he have no experience helping Shun, the subject matter was mighty heavy. What could he say?
Keep at it? Well duh, of course he would. It will be okay? Empty, and probably a lie.
Mot's mouth opened. Then closed.
Words wound't come.
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:03 pm
There was a moment of silence as Mot looked like he was going to say more, but ended up not saying anything at all. Shun watched him for a few moments, but then shook his head slowly to himself.
"None of this would have happened if I hadn't been so ******** weak," he muttered, more to himself than to the cowboy. He just started to continue walking.
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:07 pm
Mot shook his head, frantically turning and following after Shun.
"Being strong or weak has nothing to do with it." Mot of all people probably had no right to say it, considering he was the weakest of them all. "You train like crazy. You're strong, but.. look. The hunters had an agenda. They were prepared, that's all there is to it."
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:14 pm
Though he couldn't really see Mot following along, Shun could hear his steps lightly by him. Aside from that, the guy spoke up some more, which caused the reaper to pause and turn towards the other.
"Obviously, I was not strong enough. I train hard and often but look at what good that did when a time of need came around," he said while narrowing his eye before bitterly adding, "It's never enough. It's never been enough."
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:27 pm
Mot stopped as Shun did. At first his expression was nervous as usual, but soon fell. Solemnly, he frowned and cast his eyes down. "I'm sorry you feel that way." Mot murmured bitterly. "Must be nice to have all that strength and ability and cast it off as 'never enough'."
Mot took a step back. "Shun, it's not like you stood back and let it happen. You're a good man. Blaming yourself will never make you strong." Like he was one to talk. "It makes you weak, it makes you bitter." That much he knew for a fact, actually. "Maybe you're right then. Maybe you are weak. If all you have going for your is hatred, bitterness and self degradation? Then yes. You will always be weak."
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:39 pm
Shun actually let out a scoff when Mot said 'you're a good man'. The others here seemed to insist on such things didn't they? However, he didn't say anything right away and just took a moment to stare up at the taller reaper.
"Cast it off? I've only grown up being told just that," he said lowly. The scars he had were proof enough of that. Letting out a breath, he shook his head and added, "I might not have stood back and let it happen, but getting beaten down and forced to simply watch her get taken is not much better."
He shook his head again, then spoke a little more softly.
"In the end I've failed her. And now I have to deal with the consequences of that."
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:44 pm
"You only have truly failed if you give up on her. But you haven't." Mot insisted, brow furrowed as he stared down at Shun. "And I doubt you ever will. Blame it on love, blame it on stubbornness. The fact of the matter is you haven't failed. Not yet. Not as long as Mitsu is still breathing."
"Are you proud of the way you were brought up? Is that way of life so set inside you that you will never let anything else detour you? Going about things the way you always do leads to stagnant waters. You won't get better at anything that way. Either keep yourself open to new possibulities, or let yourself die on the beaten path until it fall from under you."
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 2:56 pm
Yes, Mitsu was still alive and she was back now. But Shun was not happy. Far from it still. Was it really a victory if she remained this way? If she ended up deciding that she didn't really like or love him all that much at all?
"No. I am not proud of it. I know no other path. Yes. I suppose I could try to stray but it won't do me much. Despite what you say, I am really not that good of a person."
He gritted his teeth for a moment or so.
"I can throw a punch. I can make things bleed. I can keep fighting through injuries. I can move swiftly. And what else? That's about it. My viable options are limited."
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