Cats and chickens
written by Da Fuji Apple
“I saw all of this coming you know,” Debs said with a nod as she towed a boy along by the wrist, ignoring his frequent attempts to break free, “See, I said to my coworkers, ‘Just wait! There’s going to be zombies next week!’ and I told them to get their bags packed, but did they listen? Did they?”
Debs looked expectantly back at her current rescue mission, who gazed down at her with wide, pleading eyes. When no answer was offered, Debs merely continued on, oblivious to the boy’s renewed struggles to break free.
“Of course they didn’t! They thought I was crazy. ‘Debs with the cats’, ‘Debs the half-wit’, ugh! But who was right? I was! And looks who’s not infected!”
A half hour later, the boy had given up trying to break away from Debs and had become resigned to his fate of being dragged off to Base 9, even though he’d insisted he wanted to be left alone. The matter was made worse by the fact that Debs refused to stop speaking, and by the time they were rolling up on Base 9, the boy had learned everything he could possibly want to know about the freckly, round faced girl while she knew practically nothing about him, a thought which occurred to her only once they were standing outside the gate.
“By the way, what’s your name?”
“It’s Jude, and do you mind? I didn’t ask to be saved.”
Debs frowned at the boy, Jude, and then shrugged, “Sure you did. You were aiming a slingshot at that poor cat. Obviously you needed assistance of some sort. I mean, who hunts a cat, huh? They’re poor, sweet, adorable, innocent creatures who exist purely to be cared for and loved by-”
“I was hunting for my dinner. I didn’t need help.” Jude insisted, missing the look of horror on Debs’ face.
“You were going to eat that cat! If you were just hungry, why didn’t you say so? Could’ve saved me a trip! I could have gone off finding people who really needed it, but no, I wasted my time yanking you all the way here. Oh now where was that…”
Debs pulled off her pack and began to rummage through it. Curious, Jude leaned forward, earning a brief glimpse of the contents in her bag. Where’d she manage to get a working flashlight from, he wondered, before she pulled out what she’d been looking for: a Mars bar.
Debs smirked at Jude’s expression the moment the Mars bar was in sight. His eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened. Her smile broke though as he threw himself at the Mars bar in her hand, knocking both of them to the ground.
“Hey!” Debs shouted, pushing him off with a well-aimed kick to the stomach.
Debs hurriedly scrambled to her feet as Jude rolled on the ground, clutching at his stomach where she’d kicked him.
“What was that for, freckle-face?” Jude gasped, tears in his eyes.
“What do you mean what was that for? You tried to steal my Mars bar!”
“You were offering it to me!”
“I was sharing it with you, dork!”
Debs held out a hand to help Jude get to his feet. His cheeks were still red and he seemed to be having trouble speaking normally.
“Now you have to work for it.” Debs decided, her hands on her hips.
“What? Why? You’re the one that cost me my lunch earlier!” Jude snapped, although he recoiled slightly as she took a step forward towards him, jabbing the Mars bar under his nose, “Ok! Ok! Fine. You’re lucky I don’t hit girls or I’d so be going Hulk on you right now.”
“Good. Now follow me.”
Jude remained firmly planted in the spot, his arms crossed, “Tell me what we’re doing first? Playing Resident Evil with our little friends out there?”
“Nope,” Debs replied, smiling once again, “We’re going to go help a friend.”
“A friend? Who, your boyfriend?”
“Not exactly. Come on.”
Jude’s shoulders slumped forward as he complied. Debs, looking rather pleased with herself, made sure to keep her axe at the ready as she casually walked along through the deserted streets. Most of the area had been completely decimated by plagues of people looking for supplies after the zombies had hit. Nearly every town around the US looked like this one. Barren streets, shattered shop windows, broken and empty shelves; it was like a scene out of a movie. The only thing it thankfully lacked were bodies. Those were taken care of by either the kind cleaning crew known as the zombies, or the local crows.
“You’re not from around here, are you?” Debs asked, looking back at Jude.
“Not really, no. I’ve been traveling.”
“Alone?”
Jude made a face, “No, with my imaginary friend Barney. Yes I’ve been alone. Fantastically and wonderfully alone. No worrying about people falling behind or friends dying or sharing food.”
“Sounds depressing.”
“No, it’s safe.”
“Still sounds depressing…and boring. I mean, who do you talk to?”
“My volleyball.” Jude snapped, “Or Santa! Whoever is around? I had a whole conversation with a chicken once and it was the best damn conversation I ever had.”
Debs stifled a laugh, “Oh yes, clucking chickens make fantastic companions. I think this job will help you a lot, you know.”
Jude arched an eyebrow at Debs, “How?”
“You’ll see.”
The continued on for more than an hour with Debs leading the way. Jude grumbled most of the time. He continuously took out his blonde ponytail and slapped it back up. Debs noticed that his fine hair didn’t really like the string he’d used to tie it and she pulled a small rubber band out of her pocket, handing it to him.
“What?”
“It’s bothersome. How can I keep a train of thought when you’re throwing your hands up in the air every two seconds? Use this. It should hold.”
Jude complied. He was just tying up his hair when Debs noticed something move out of the corner of her eye. Instantly, she grabbed Jude’s wrist and pulled him behind a mailbox. Holding her axe at the ready, Debs peered out from behind the blue arch, looking towards where she’d seen the movement.
“What?” Jude whispered again, “Did you see something?”
“I think so…just keep quiet a moment will you?” That was a sentence Debs never thought she’d say. Usually people were telling that to her.
Jude pulled out his own weapon, which Debs noticed was the slingshot he’d used earlier. That was pathetic. Then she saw what he’d loaded it up with- firecrackers. Shooting flammable objects was always a good option she supposed. Not as good as an axe, but it worked.
Debs’ eyes narrowed as she spotted the movement again. This time she was certain of what it was and she jumped out from behind the mailbox with a whoop of joy.
“KITTY!”
Jude popped out from behind the mailbox like a prairie dog looking incredulous, “Are you serious? Don’t tell me this is why we came out here!”
“I told you we were finding a friend.” Debs said cheerfully, gathering the ginger cat up in her arms and stroking its fur, “He’s such a handsome gentleman. Here, he’s for you!”
Jude sputtered in disbelief as Debs handed him the cat. Surprisingly, he didn’t drop it.
“Are you mad? We came all this way for a stupid cat?”
“He’s not a stupid cat. He’s a friend. Now you won’t have to travel alone.”
Jude looked from the cat to Debs, before letting out an exasperated sigh, “Fine. He can stay with me…”
“And no eating him.”
“Yes, and no eating him.”
Debs looked satisfied and with that, she once again led the way heading back the way they came. Jude remained somewhat melancholy while they walked, but it was an improvement from his attitude earlier. Debs was quite pleased with herself. Saved a cat and a person all in one day! What a fantastically accomplished day. Everything had gone perfectly to plan…except for the zombie that was no running towards her and Jude.
Debs reacted first by raising her axe and using it to bat the oncoming zombie in the face. She expected to see a firecracker soon following after it, but none came. Debs briefly glanced back towards here Jude had been and saw that the coward was running away. She had no time to be annoyed. The zombie had recovered from being smacked upside the head. Before it had just been your typical ‘rawr I’ma eat yah’ crazy, but now it was pissed.
Debs planted her feet firmly on the ground as the zombie came at her once again. This must have been a new zombie. He wasn’t nearly as clever as the other ones. All it took to dispatch him was a well-aimed swing to the neck as he charged and the head went flying. Debs remained alert for a few moments longer, but when it became clear there were no other zombies, she lowered her axe.
“Hey Chicken! You can come out now!” she called.
Jude slowly came over back to Debs, his arms clutching the cat like a teddy bear, “Ah…”
“No need to explain. At least you didn’t pee your pants like some guys do.”
“Hey, I’m not afraid. I just…running seemed like the smarter idea this time.”
“Sure…come on Chicken. Let’s get back to Base.”
“I told you I’m not-“
“Just to get you food.”
“Oh…” Jude looked down, temporarily calmed.
The rest of the journey back to the base was peaceful. Jude even managed to make some conversation with Debs, although at the mention of his favorite hero Superman she snapped. Apparently that was one thing that miffed her. Returning the conversation to the topic of cats though quickly fixed the mood.
Once they returned to base, the two shared the previously offered Mars bar under the condition that Jude would not eat the cat.