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Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 10:21 pm
Name: Madelyn Caspian Nickname: Maddy, Mad Maddy Age: 26 Birthday: March 22 Sign: Aries Gemstone: Diamond Blood Type: O Fav. Food: Freshly made chicken alfredo with steamed vegetables Hated Food: Hot dogs and Ramen noodles (her endeavors in college has forever ruined these cheap food) Occupation: Bank teller/freelance journalist Hobbies: Iron Chef -- Madelyn may not have taken any formal culinary classes while in college but she’s always had a place in her heart, and stomach, for home cooked meals, even if she has to be the one to cook. On her spare time, she constantly keeps the tv on the cooking channel and feels that she is learning from the best there is. While she understands cooking in theory, the practice is something that is still being worked on, with her younger sister as the guinea pig sometimes. Her specialty? Steak and mashed potatoes! (Likely due to it being Gwen’s favorite and fairly easy to make.) Glamour and Glitz -- If there is one thing that Madelyn enjoys more than home cooked meals, it’s the feel of jewelry on her persons. Anything from bracelets, anklets, rings, necklaces, even earrings and hair pieces, Madelyn is a fool for the trinkets, and she literally has drawers filled to the brim with them. It’s where most of her extra cash goes, shamefully so, and it does make getting gifts for her easy, but expensive. Her taste in motifs may change periodically, as one week she’ll like elephants, then the next week would be dolphins, and then the one after that, flowers and insects, but one constant in her tastes is that she can’t get enough of jewelry, and a girl must ALWAYS look her best. Blog the Night Away -- Ever since she was little, Madelyn wanted to be a journalist, and while she did attend college for an English and creative writing degree, she never really had the opportunity to make a career out of it, or at least not enough to pay the bills. This doesn’t stop her from posting various nonsense up on her blog, though it is not where near as professional as it could be. In fact, most of her entries include rather lengthy rants, explaining the life of a young adult who had her baby sister thrusted upon her with little means to care for her besides the measly checks that her mother and stepfather sends them monthly. However, she does write something worthwhile every so often and even has a small fanbase to encourage her to keep at her writing. Virtues: Shrewd -- Madelyn may not look it, but she has a keen eye for even the smallest of details, details that would otherwise go unnoticed by most other people. Perhaps it was her times spent reading mystery novels or the classes she took in college that required her to read between the lines and search for a deeper meaning to things, or even her love of jewelry; whatever the cause may be, Madelyn tends to always dig a little deeper on a subject, regardless of what the matter is. Her keen eye of detail has given her some leverage at work as a teller, as she was able to spot a few counterfeit bills and Canadian coins that have snuck into the deposits. She will also hang onto words and diction, often seeing through another’s lies and bringing them out into the open. Everyone’s Big Sister -- Madelyn remembers the time when she was an only child, and in truth, she doesn’t miss it. Though she may whine and complain about having to share an apartment with her little sister, she does take some pride and enjoyment out of being a parental figure to others. Part of her blog consists of others asking her for advice and she will always give it in full. Whenever Gwen needs help with her homework or someone to bail her out of a situation, Madelyn is immediately there to assist in whatever way she can. This courtesy is not just for her younger sister but to everyone, and she will never think twice before offering her time and self in helping anyone out. She can be extremely compassionate and will assist others, often times without being asked or seeking a favor in return, which makes her quite popular among her coworkers as she’s willing to babysit, pet sit or even house sit from time to time. To her, it’s a compulsion, and the desire to shower those dear to her is an impulse that is never pushed aside for Madelyn. Sharp Memory -- They say that an elephant never forgets, and apparently, the same can be said about Madelyn. From a very young age, she has been blessed with a great memory. Anything from dates, events, places, Madelyn can usually remember them well, and compounded with her keen eye for detail, this has helped her in various ways, such as estimating the time a suspicious bank robber had arrived, what they did and when they left. It has also helped her in her studies, as well as with helping Gwen out with hers, as she usually remembers her sister’s homework and assignments better than Gwen herself. Flaws: It’s a Conspiracy! -- Her occupation as a bank teller, as well as her many sociology courses that she has taken in college, Madelyn has become rather... untrusting... in her later years, and what started off as natural skepticism in things such as there being a Santa Claus or Easter Bunny has grown into borderline paranoia. Now, she’s not so paranoid in which she doesn’t trust anyone she meets, but it will definitely take some convincing to get her to trust most people she runs into, whether they be friends, or foe, alike. Once she warms up to someone, she’ll be able to overcome this natural suspicion, but everyone, at some point or another, will get the stink eye. Control Freak -- If her sister Gwen is known as a tiger, then Madelyn is definitely a bear, as she proudly demonstrates her rather overbearing nature at times. Madelyn means well in wanting to help others, regardless if they want it or not, but if she does help, then be prepared for her to either take over the project completely or push the others into her way of thinking entirely. According to Madelyn’s mindset, everything she does is right, and if you want something done, you must do it herself, a feat that she constantly displays any time her sister comes home with a project and the friendly helping session turns into an all-nighter with Madelyn completing most, if not all of the work (usually against her sister’s will). This courtesy is often given to others, both in the work area and even in her other extracurricular activities. Madelyn simply doesn’t trust other enough to do the job right! Grudges -- Like the infamous villain of Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan, the same phrase can be said for Madelyn. It takes much for Madelyn to forget something, especially if it’s a slight against her. Rather it be something as minor and forgettable as cutting her off in traffic, or something big, like robbing her at gunpoint while she was at work, it is hard for Madelyn to forget or even forgive past mistakes or actions against her or her friends, and this leads to Madelyn having very few on-going friends in the long run. So long as you remain on her good side, she is your greatest friend and will remember and do much for you, but the moment one crosses her, it’s likely the end of the road for them as far as Madelyn is concerned. PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION Eyes: Round, light brown. Hair: Black hair ; no red flower in hair Face: Round, chubby cheeks; nose is pivoted upwards, almost Elfish. She always wears makeup and her dolphin earrings that she proudly shows off to everyone she can. Clothes: Regular business attire, skirt with dark stockings. However, she always tries to wear a red neckerchief with black and yellow stripes. She’s really attacks to that neckerchief.
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Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 10:22 pm
Knight Title: Jotunheim Page of Polaris Challenge: “There is always a way to win!” Uniform: Top -- Light blue form fitting uniform, with a white coat over it like this. Instead of the pointed shoulders and poofy parts around the neck, white fur. Bottoms -- Skin-tight violet dance-pants Gloves -- Gloves except that the gloves are light blue to fit with the uniform, and the fur is the same as the fur around her neck and shoulders Belt -- none Shoes -- Except colored violet with the fur being whiteShoulders -- CC Accessories -- Hair piece like this (where the flower would be in the sample picture posted. Color= Blue. Weapon -- Scroll Page- No magic for Page! Squire: Polarity DisruptorJotunheim pulls out her scroll to half length and holds it open for the opposing forces to see. While the scroll is open, it creates a 5 foot radius shield around herself that emits an magnetic pull, protecting those within the shield and preventing others around them from attacking. The limitations of this attack are as followed: only areas that the scroll covers are protected, meaning allies would have to stand directly behind or around Jotunheim to be protected, and the effects last 30 seconds. Knight- Polarity Maximum CrisisSecond verse the same as the first, except now Jotunheim can open the scroll to its full length of ten feet and she uses it to its full ability, stepping on the bottom and holding it up horizontally to her full standing height, and once again, herself and those within the ten foot radius are protected from physical attacks. Much like her first attack, its limitations are as followed: only areas that the scroll covers are protected, meaning allies would have to stand directly behind or around Jotunheim to be protected, and it lasts for 45 seconds.
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Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 10:22 pm
And open for well-needed critiques!
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Posted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 10:04 pm
Hey there, Gingi! Sorry for the bit of the wait!
Your hobbies look pretty solid for me! I think that they really make Madelyn seem like a pretty fun character! I have a few things I want to touch on with your virtues and flaws, but it isn’t very much! I’m going to look at all of them in order now!
Eye for Detail – This virtue seems pretty solid, but perhaps you might want to change the name of this virtue to shrewd, just because that seems like what it almost turns into by the end! Everyone’s Big Sister – This virtue seems pretty good as well, though I think you might want to throw in just a few more phrases to make this more of an admirable trait! Like, to show how she is compassionate and understanding towards people’s problems. and things like that! Sharp Memory – This is a virtue that you have to be careful of your phrasing! Using phrases like ‘crystal clear’ and the ‘exact time’ really makes it seem like she is a bit OP, I would focus instead on how she can remember a lot of details or how she has the ability to recall things quickly!
Now on to her Flaws! Again, I’m going to go one by one!
For her It’s A Conspiracy flaw, I’m not sure if I’m quite happy with this one, it seems as though there are two flaws crammed into one! At first, the flaw really seems to be talking about her paranoia but as you reach the end of the flaw, it seems to be more focusing on how she is stubborn and unrelenting to change her mind!
Her Control Freak flaw seems pretty solid to me, I don’t have anything that I want you to change with this one!
Grudges: Again this flaw seems to have language that is much to strong! I would really caution you to avoid using words such as ‘Never forgets a face or any event’. It would be very difficult to have so much of a memory that you could remember every person that ever stepped on her foot! I would just change some of your language around to make her seem less over powered with her memory!
Now on to her powered information! I think that your outfit design is pretty solid, and I have nothing bad to say about that, so let’s move on to her weapon and magic!
First off, this is just a curiosity thing for me, but is there a reason that you have chosen a bamboo scroll over a normal scroll? The only reason I am wondering, is that a bamboo scroll doesn’t really fit with the technology aspect of Mercury!
Another point I want to mention is that knight attacks do not work in terms of how many uses, rather knights draw their power from a pool of magic, so the attacks would be based on how long she holds them up and not how many times she uses them. I think a pretty acceptable overall summon time would be about 30 seconds for the Squire magic, and maybe 45 to 50 seconds for the Knight magic.
Your magic itself is okay, but I want to caution you that the only people in the Chaos faction that has any sort of magical attacks are the DMC or a Corrupted senshi, or maybe the strange Nega who has a small bit of magic with their weapon upgrade!
This is just a suggestion, but perhaps instead of the magic shield, the scroll could create some sort of energy shield that has a sort of electric hum and can prevent physical attacks within five or so feet near to Baikal? Since most senshi have a radius of about that, it would pretty effectively prevent them from attacking as well, and it would be a much more effective deterrent!
All in all, I think your quest is pretty solid, and I wish you all the luck in getting the character! Please quote me with any changes you might have so I can get you trial stamped!
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 3:45 pm
Orangeish Sherbert Eye for Detail – This virtue seems pretty solid, but perhaps you might want to change the name of this virtue to shrewd, just because that seems like what it almost turns into by the end! Done! Quote: Everyone’s Big Sister – This virtue seems pretty good as well, though I think you might want to throw in just a few more phrases to make this more of an admirable trait! Like, to show how she is compassionate and understanding towards people’s problems. and things like that! I added a bit more to that- let me know if I need to further elaborate. Quote: Sharp Memory – This is a virtue that you have to be careful of your phrasing! Using phrases like ‘crystal clear’ and the ‘exact time’ really makes it seem like she is a bit OP, I would focus instead on how she can remember a lot of details or how she has the ability to recall things quickly! Tweaked that section a bit as well- let me know if it still seems too OP. Quote: For her It’s A Conspiracy flaw, I’m not sure if I’m quite happy with this one, it seems as though there are two flaws crammed into one! At first, the flaw really seems to be talking about her paranoia but as you reach the end of the flaw, it seems to be more focusing on how she is stubborn and unrelenting to change her mind! Dropped that last part to see if it made more sense. Quote: Grudges: Again this flaw seems to have language that is much to strong! I would really caution you to avoid using words such as ‘Never forgets a face or any event’. It would be very difficult to have so much of a memory that you could remember every person that ever stepped on her foot! I would just change some of your language around to make her seem less over powered with her memory! OP is bad. Tweaked it some, let me know if it needs further tweaking. Quote: First off, this is just a curiosity thing for me, but is there a reason that you have chosen a bamboo scroll over a normal scroll? The only reason I am wondering, is that a bamboo scroll doesn’t really fit with the technology aspect of Mercury! Done. Quote: Another point I want to mention is that knight attacks do not work in terms of how many uses, rather knights draw their power from a pool of magic, so the attacks would be based on how long she holds them up and not how many times she uses them. I think a pretty acceptable overall summon time would be about 30 seconds for the Squire magic, and maybe 45 to 50 seconds for the Knight magic. Your magic itself is okay, but I want to caution you that the only people in the Chaos faction that has any sort of magical attacks are the DMC or a Corrupted senshi, or maybe the strange Nega who has a small bit of magic with their weapon upgrade! This is just a suggestion, but perhaps instead of the magic shield, the scroll could create some sort of energy shield that has a sort of electric hum and can prevent physical attacks within five or so feet near to Baikal? Since most senshi have a radius of about that, it would pretty effectively prevent them from attacking as well, and it would be a much more effective deterrent! I've taken all of these into consideration and changed the attacks/spells, so hopefully they'll seem more fitting now. Let me know if they need to be explained further or changed! Quote: All in all, I think your quest is pretty solid, and I wish you all the luck in getting the character! Please quote me with any changes you might have so I can get you trial stamped! Thank you so much for the crit! Let me know if there's anything else I need to do!
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Posted: Sat Dec 01, 2012 3:11 pm
Alright, considering a few things, I decided to switch her up to being a Polaris knight as opposed to a Mercury knight, so I went about the profile and made a few changes. Let me know if this clashes with anything in regards to the change. ^_^
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Posted: Wed Dec 19, 2012 9:15 pm
Changes look good to me, Gingi! Best of luck getting her!
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Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2012 7:15 am
Ohhh I didn't even know you were questing a Polaris knight, very cool.
Her personality and powers look great to me. My only concern is the amount of black on her uniform. Because it's a heavy Negaverse color we try to keep black to a minimum on knights except for a couple exceptions (Saturn and Mercury). Because Mercury and Polaris already share some visual similarities I'd like to try and keep them seperate and keep Polaris knights to lighter hues. Might I suggest white or a dark blue or purple for the area's you've asked for black?
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Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2012 9:51 am
Iris_virus Ohhh I didn't even know you were questing a Polaris knight, very cool. Her personality and powers look great to me. My only concern is the amount of black on her uniform. Because it's a heavy Negaverse color we try to keep black to a minimum on knights except for a couple exceptions (Saturn and Mercury). Because Mercury and Polaris already share some visual similarities I'd like to try and keep them seperate and keep Polaris knights to lighter hues. Might I suggest white or a dark blue or purple for the area's you've asked for black? Oh, dagnabbit, I thought I corrected all of that stuff from when I was changing her from a Mercury knight to a Polaris knight! Thanks for the head's up, I'm going to go change them now! Edit: Alright, changed them. Sorry about that- I must have overlooked them!
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Posted: Sat Dec 29, 2012 3:44 pm
No problem at all. You're ACCEPTED. Good luck getting her!
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