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 Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 11:07 am
... and probably going to sound off. But, my older sister(the person who said I could ask her for motherly advice, after my mom passed) pretty much told me something, that I could never do to someone else.
Back story, for a few months now... like three... I was talking to someone on the internet, and I am starting to like her(more than just friends kind) and she as admitted the same. I know she could be lying and all, but I don't see a reason for her to lie. We wish to meet each other, if we can get the moneys... but that is another issue...
My sister's dating advice was just meet her somewhere, have a one night stand and walk away.
I know it is a long way off, but do you guys have any better dating advice?
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Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 11:53 am
Take the time to get to know her better... I don't like the idea of one night stands for anyone, just for the simple fact that you can never be sure of another person's motivations... but if two people really care for each other, why would you even think of breaking it off after the deed. confused
As for your sister's *ahem* "motherly" advice... Well, I don't think it sounds like something your mother would say... rolleyes
If you really feel that meeting is what you want to do, start making goals to make it happen... Good intentions don't go anywhere... I would start by checking ticket prices to wherever it is you guys would meet, and that would give you a general idea what you would be needing... After that, the ball will probably start rolling towards the eventuality that a meet up could possibly happen...
Good luck! xd
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Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 1:12 pm
just meet her for a date in a public place, dont just have a one night stand with someone you met online, thats what bars are for
my husband and i met online, it was a perfect way for me to get to know someone while keeping my distance. im an introvert and dont lik emeeting new people often. just make sure you stay safe and dont go out in the middle of the woods with this person on the first date or anything stupid like that
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 5:00 am
I met my wife online. We've been together since 2008 and we've been married for a year now. We just met in a public place and took it from there. I moved in with her in Idaho and slept in a spare bedroom, not the same one. I tried to be as romantic as possible and never pushed her to do anything I didn't think we were ready for, including having sex. My advice if you really like her is pretty much the same, but get to know her and pay attention. Everyone is different so everyone needs to be handled differently.
It is ok to be nervous. My wife and I now laugh about how, when we first met, we were tripping over each other's feet while trying to walk side by side holding hands. Neither of us really knew what to say. The important thing is you don't let being nervous be a reason for not doing something. Just try to clear your mind and relax enough to have a good time.
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Lord Alucard Ere Casanova
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Posted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 10:25 pm
Yeah everyone is giving good advice here. I met my fiancee online. We've been living together for 5 years now.
I would take part of your sister's advice about meeting her and having a date, but I wouldn't take her advice about the one night stand and never meeting her again. I had a one night stand once and I didn't find it very fulfilling or meaningful. I mean the sex was great but it was just kinda sad afterward since she didn't want anything to do with me afterward.
Edit: clarification
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 10:11 am
Can you guys phone or skype? That's a much more personal way to talk until you can meet in person.
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Lord Alucard Ere Casanova
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Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2012 1:29 pm
freelance lover Can you guys phone or skype? That's a much more personal way to talk until you can meet in person. This is very good advice. My wife and I first made contact via phone and webcam.
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 6:32 am
freelance lover Can you guys phone or skype? That's a much more personal way to talk until you can meet in person. We do; have Skype, I mean. That is how we are talking back and forth... Though, I lack a webcam, or any camera for that matter. So, it has just being uses as an instant messenger
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Posted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 12:02 pm
glitterboypilot freelance lover Can you guys phone or skype? That's a much more personal way to talk until you can meet in person. We do; have Skype, I mean. That is how we are talking back and forth... Though, I lack a webcam, or any camera for that matter. So, it has just being uses as an instant messenger
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Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 2:26 am
freelance lover glitterboypilot freelance lover Can you guys phone or skype? That's a much more personal way to talk until you can meet in person. We do; have Skype, I mean. That is how we are talking back and forth... Though, I lack a webcam, or any camera for that matter. So, it has just being uses as an instant messenger Indeed. I bought a webcam from Wal-mart for $20. It doesn't have to be terribly fancy with all of the bells and whistles. Just something so that you could see each other before you can actually meet each other. Or, if you have a headset equipped with a microphone, you could try using the voice chat on Skype until you acquire a webcam.
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Posted: Sat Aug 04, 2012 9:37 am
Get a webcam so you can actually see who you are talking to is step one. Sure, you may have pics, but pics are not the same and are not always to be trusted.
Two. Keep up the communication. If you think you are falling for her, you better make sure, especially after step one. Then, when you meet, you can discuss the matter further.
Three. Don't listen to your sister. Your sister may just be trying to get you laid because you are frustrated or something. Or she may think, because of the distance, that nothing will come of it.
Four. Some people, because of distance, do not have the ability to just meet for coffee. Some of them have to get hotels, so help with the expenses even if you don't stay there or whatever. If you do stay at a hotel room with her, make sure you have condoms. Desire can over ride logic fairly easily.
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 2:07 pm
Well, that was fun while it lasted....
I gave her my picture yesterday, just the picture off my school badge, and today... she will not even speak to me and all her posts on the different media sites says she is "done with love". As well as deleting my posts to her...
So, I quit... no more attempts to find anything remotely close to love.... If my image alone chases people off, what's the point... Laws of attraction are in place for a reason.... stare
I knew it was stupid to get my hopes up
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 2:44 pm
glitterboypilot Well, that was fun while it lasted.... I gave her my picture yesterday, just the picture off my school badge, and today... she will not even speak to me and all her posts on the different media sites says she is "done with love". As well as deleting my posts to her... So, I quit... no more attempts to find anything remotely close to love.... If my image alone chases people off, what's the point... Laws of attraction are in place for a reason.... stare I knew it was stupid to get my hopes up So....quitting because some girl valued looks? Did you know what she looked like? Are you only looking for someone because you are lonely or because of something else? What people find when they are lonely is generally not what they wanted, even if they fooled themselves into thinking it was real. I'll tell you what I tell others. Get out, go to a library, or go to a coffee shop at a book store or do something else that doesnt involve being around a lot of loud obnoxious dipshits. Read a book while sipping on coffee. Sooner or later, someone will notice you and you will notice them. They used to say you meet the best women at church, but ive met some real bitches in all walks of life and would rather avoid the added stress of having to go to the same church as someone who just pissed all over you. For internet relationships, always make sure a pic is one of the first things that gets sent.....that way you at least have an idea even though some people are lying little ******** ants who show pics of other people, but still...
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Posted: Mon Aug 06, 2012 3:31 pm
deadmanjay glitterboypilot Well, that was fun while it lasted.... I gave her my picture yesterday, just the picture off my school badge, and today... she will not even speak to me and all her posts on the different media sites says she is "done with love". As well as deleting my posts to her... So, I quit... no more attempts to find anything remotely close to love.... If my image alone chases people off, what's the point... Laws of attraction are in place for a reason.... stare I knew it was stupid to get my hopes up So....quitting because some girl valued looks? Did you know what she looked like? Are you only looking for someone because you are lonely or because of something else? What people find when they are lonely is generally not what they wanted, even if they fooled themselves into thinking it was real. I'll tell you what I tell others. Get out, go to a library, or go to a coffee shop at a book store or do something else that doesnt involve being around a lot of loud obnoxious dipshits. Read a book while sipping on coffee. Sooner or later, someone will notice you and you will notice them. They used to say you meet the best women at church, but ive met some real bitches in all walks of life and would rather avoid the added stress of having to go to the same church as someone who just pissed all over you. For internet relationships, always make sure a pic is one of the first things that gets sent.....that way you at least have an idea even though some people are lying little ******** ants who show pics of other people, but still... I will answer your questions, Quote: quitting because some girl valued looks? No, quitting cause it is always the same. Quote: Did you know what she looked like? I knew, what she looked like, because of 10+ pictures she sent to me.... All of the same lady, and different backgrounds, all matching the ones she spoke and posted on four different websites. Quote: Are you only looking for someone because you are lonely or because of something else? I wasn't looking, long ago, I decided it was better to be alone. We just started to talk.... and one thing lead to another. I was the last one to post a picture, because it has always been. They want someone honest, kind, friendly, smart, and/or strong... but realize, I am closer to Quasimodo, than prince charming and I stay in as a good friend. She might have been the one lonely, and just seen something that wasn't there first... and as a fool I fell for it.
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Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 8:03 pm
Babe...
I'm gonna give you some advice that might sound and even feel strange in hearing, but bear withe me, you gotta trust me...
Even if you never plan on getting hooked up with anyone, you need to start taking some pride in yourself... Body image is, by large, very illusory... but self image is important to every single one of us, and your self image has you so down on yourself that people forget how awesome of a soul you are when you distract them by how awful you believe you look... People who are 1 on the scale of 10 can get pretty far when they decide they will do what they can with what they have...
You are a beautiful person, and as such you have allot of value, but when you make it obvious that you can't look beyond your physical self to see your spiritual and mental self as beautiful... Well, you put people off. They are going to look at what you direct them to... You have to be positive about yourself before others can be that way about you...
So... Now for my strange advice...
DO something every day that makes you feel less visibly ugly... Do more than one something...
Go out and buy a hygiene kit, or put one together that includes the necessary face scrub, moisturizer, and even toner or astringent (make sure they are appropriate for someone your age: ask someone if you have to)... A razor, after shave, and cream that makes you feel clean when you use them... some wash and Cologne that suits you...
Go out and get a mani/pedi... a new hair cut... a new outfit...
Find a couple gay guy friends to give you advice on cleaning up a bit... I don't know a single gay man in my sphere who doesn't know a few tricks to keeping themselves maintained and confident, mostly because they seem to need ways to make themselves feel worth it after all the hell they are given... and I don't know a single one of them unwilling to help someone else do the same for themselves.
Not to mention keep up with work outs and good diet...
Yeah, it might sound uber feminine, but you will start to feel like you aren't so bad after you get over the awkwardness of it... Your attitude and confidence will improve, and you won't have to look so hard on the past but start anticipating the future.
Besides, although most guys won't admit to it, these kinds of things do a bit towards making pretty much anyone feel better about themselves... Guys don't express it verbally, but there is almost always a change of swagger when a guy finds a new self improvement routine that suits him... and that's enough proof for me that some of the things we ladies have loved a long time are just as good for the guys. LOL...
But seriously, try to do one of these suggestions every few days, and then try to keep up with yourself...
When you can post a picture of yourself before you even start talking to someone, then I will think you've made some progress...
...and honestly... I saw a picture of you on FB awhile back, by proxy, when someone dared to tag you... (yeah, I saw it, even though you mildly reprimanded the person who tagged you) and you aren't so bad as you make yourself out to be...
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