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She noticed she hadn’t been singing all that often anymore. That had to do with her mood. When Hel thought about, she had stopping singing and humming ever since…s**t started to hit the fan. Hel never been this…down before. She had never been so depressed that she stopped singing…but she was.

It made doing this task even more frustrating without the act of singing to sooth her nerves.

Hel had neglected to sew up a lot of her tunics from before the Haunted House incident. No point in letting them go to waste if she could still wear them…but she needed to sew up the backs. She didn’t have wings anymore after all but…sewing…that was not something Hel was skillful in. Sewing required having delicate fingers…and her fingers were anything but. More than once, Hel had torn her thread just trying to get it through the needle, and way more than once, she had jabbed her fingers with said needle. More than once she had bent a needle.

It was a pathetic sight, really. Hel was kneeled on her floor surrounded by her tunics, scraps of thread, and band aid wrappers from the multitude of small band aids on her fingers. She had managed to finally thread the damn needle, and had started to work on sewing up one of the wing slits…but her stitches were piss poor and loose and sloppy.

Hel huffed as she pulled the needle through the fabric…only to p***k her finger again.

She exploded, sticking the finger into her mouth as her chest heaved.

“Ow! ********>!”

If the needle would have been satisfying to throw, it’d be across the room right now. Hel scowled. But no, it’d just be a pain in the a** to try and find later, and with her luck, she’d step on it.

The reaper rocked back and forth out of agitation, quite fed up with everything at the moment, until a voice outside her door made her freeze. Hel’s head whipped around to stare at the door and her eyes wide. No…no surely that couldn’t be…

But then he pushed his way in, and Hel almost wanted to cry at how ******** unfair it was as she laid eyes on him. As bad as it was, out of sight out of mind had been working for her. If she didn’t see Mot, it hurt less. She pushed it to a little corner while she was out and dealing with others, and now that he was here…it just hurt all over again. Why was he here? What did he want? Why was he acting like nothing had happened? The wingless valkyrie looked utterly helpless for a few moments before she scowled and snapped her gaze down to the tunic on her lap and took her finger out of her mouth.

“…Just pricked myself. That is all.” She muttered glumly. “…What can I do for you, hm?” Distant…like he was dropping by for a favor, maybe.

Hel kept staring down at the tunic. The atmosphere, for her, felt tense again already. She had no idea what to say to Mot. Sure…they were still friends…she thought? She hoped? But it still hurt too much to even try and pretend like she was alri—

Her head snapped to the boil once more as she stared at him wide eyed and her mouth hung open.

She stared at him like that for a long time as her chest tightened. ******** you, Mot, seriously. She got the worst case of emotional whiplash when you were involved, it never failed and it was painful. She couldn’t believe her ears. He was sorry? For what? He wanted to forgive her? Really? He wasn’t…mad anymore? Her brows furrowed and her shoulders slumped. She was utterly disarmed.

“…I…do not understand. What are you…apologizing for?” Better that with that one first. It wasn’t like he had been the one sleeping with anyone.

She couldn’t smile back.

Even if her expression could shift from surprised to scowling, it was not capable of smiling at him yet. She watched with dismay as he came closer and then took a seat across from her. It still hurt. She was foolish enough to hope that the hurt had started to fade, but it really hadn’t. Hel was quiet, and winced whenever he said she had hurt him and that he felt betrayed and that his confidence was shaken.

She knew.

She knew what she had done, and if he was here to rub it in her face what she had done, she didn’t appreciate it “…I…I know.” Hel stressed, softly. “…I know what I did to you, Mot. Are…are you here to rub my face in it again?” She didn’t mean to sound hostile, but that was the hurt talking. He’d probably understand that, considering how long he had known her. She signed and her shoulders slumped again.

“…Ya, I know.” She muttered. “I can not fix anything. Only break it.” She glanced off to the side. “…Did…you fix it yourself…then?”

Hel was disarmed again, relaxing every so slightly as Mot assured he wasn’t here to rub her mistake in.

“…Oh.” So he hadn’t fixed it yet. She glanced up at him as he said she didn’t only break things, about to cast him a skeptical look until he claimed she picked him up multiple times. “…Ya…a lot of good that did, hm? I do not think you truly believed in me when I tried.” Her tone, luckily, was not accusing. Just pointing out how she felt. “I have tried more than once to encourage you that you can become a Boogeyman…yet the last time we spoke you still doubt yourself.” There was her point. She huffed softly, blowing her bangs out of her face. “…Ya, thank you. I know nothing comes easy for me.”

She almost looked away from him again, but she caught his eye as he caught hers, and seemed to try and hold it. Hel quietly listened to him. For things to be right between them. What did that mean? She sighed again. “…What is right for us, Mot?” She questioned, genuinely curious and not mocking. She didn’t know what he had in mind exactly. “If everything does not have to end…what is it you want for us?”

The reaper fell quiet as Mot spoke. She let him have the floor, and in the meantime ended up pushing the tunic and needle off of her lap and to the side. She then folded her hands on her lap and just listened. As tempting as it may have been to look away, she didn’t. She stared into his terra cotta eyes as he spoke, and once again, she found her world spinning as Mot continued.

Jack damn it, Mot.

The more he spoke about how he didn’t feel confident in himself, how it affected how he treated her, how he didn’t know what was right and how they had issues, she found her chest feeling tighter and tighter. He…knew what he wanted? At his last bit of words…Hel felt like she had been punched in the gut. This…this undermined everything she had been trying to build back up. That she did exist before him, that at one time she had carried on without Mot O’Boyle at her side. While his words gave her hope…a hope she had tried to ditch…she wasn’t so naïve as to throw herself back into this without thinking.

But still…all the emotional whiplash. Did this mean he wanted her back as more than friends? Did…he just want her back? But only as a friend? He could have her without them dating…it was possible.

Hel teared up regardless, and buried her face in her hands. “I hate you, Mot.” She choked out helplessly. “I hate what you do to me. I hate that this is hard and even though I am mad and angry and hurt…I still love you too…but…but I am thinking this through. How do you want me with you…because we will…always be friends, right?”

Hel lowered her hands once that initial hard rush of emotions passed and she got her questions out there. They went back to rest on lap, fisting and twisting the fabric of her tunic. “…More than…that…” She echoed softly, as in disbelief. He…did want to be more than friends again? Oh Mot. Why did you do this to her? Threw her world upside down and then punted it. “…Mot…you are…you are slaying me.” Hel choked out a bit of a humorless laugh. “…I…just…you end us and now you want…” She bit her lip. “…You are making my head spin.”

She fell silent though as he admitted what made him mad. Part of her felt glad to hear that he had been jealous. It meant he had been thinking of it…even if he never hinted to wanting her like that. What could she say though? She already apologized for the mistake she made…she wasn’t going to apologize again. He said it himself…what was done was done.

“…I did not think…you thought about that so much, honestly.” Hel replied softly. How could she? Mot was never open about that aspect of their relationship. It had been practically non-existent.