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Name: Esme Blanchard

Nickname: Ez, Ezzie

Age: 16

Birthday: October 1

Sign: Libra

Gemstone: Opal

Blood Type: B

Fav. Food: Ice cream crepes, waffles, custard, cheeseburgers, sweets!

Hated Food: Salty stuff, grapefruit

School: Meadowview High School

Hobbies:

Writing Fan Fiction - Esme is a huge fan of shipping ... well, everyone. Kirk and Spock are just the tip of the iceburg. Edward x Jacob? Done. Harry Potter x Severus Snape x Draco Malfoy? Already finished last week. No fictional character - book, video game, movie, or otherwise - is safe from Esme's romantic meddlin'. People keep trying to tell her that she should focus her creativity on writing real fics. But really, what would her fanbase do without her? And boy, does she have a fanbase.

Collecting Dolls - Esme has an obsession with dolls. Whether they be plushies or Barbies or action figures - Esme MUST have them all. She keeps up with the latest in toy news and is a member of countless fanclubs from major brands like Hasbro to the smallest of toy companies. The space in her room, and her checkbook, suffers because of this hobby. "It's not a hobby. It's a way of life."

Observation - She loves to observe people, to watch their movements and to note them. What are they doing? Why are they doing it? It's so much fun to guess! More specifically, she loves hot boy (and girl) watching. She loves to fantasize about the latest guy she's seen at the mall. What would it like to get married to the girl behind the counter at the fast food joint? O, the possibilities are endless!

Virtues:

Optimistic -- Very rarely does Esme ever get sad! And when she does, it's usually on account of a sad scene in a movie or somesuch. Even after a sad scene, Esme always finds a way to bounce back. She has to. She is always up for cheering up her friends and making them feel extra special! Because they deserve it.

Adventurous -- Esme is not afraid to get her feet wet and try things out. Likewise, if something's scary, it's better to just face it rather than run away. It won't go away if you just leave it alone! And you'll never know if something's good unless you try it out~

Creative -- Esme is a creative thinker both on and off the field. Off the field, she loves to write her crazy fanfiction and to doodle. Her friends seem to think that she would make a good writer. On the field, her observation "hobby" proves to be an asset. Whereas some people are strategic, others fly off in the face of danger through the heat of battle. This is where Esme is good at guessing others' moves and countering them. And if one counter doesn't work? Well. She leans even more from that experience.


Flaws:

Idealistic -- Being idealistic can be a virtue, but it can also be a major flaw. Esme's head is in the clouds. She lives mostly in a fantasy world and she does not realize that actions have consequences. As a gullible sort, she thinks that everyone is her friend and that no one would dare hurt her. Why shouldn't she trust this random stranger? He's so cute! :3 It's hard to lose her trust - a guy breaks her heart, a person turns out to be a White Moon senshi. Maybe they just don't understand her that well yet!

Spontaneous -- Esme tends to forget to think things through. Why do that when there is so little time to have so much fun? Combined with an adventurous attitude, it tends to get her into more trouble than not. This doesn't mean that she'll conveniently forget about an order from Ares or that she'll leave her friends behind - she knows that these are important! But if she's feeling like a burger in the middle of the night, you'd best assume that she's getting that damn burger... sweet potato fries included.

Yandere -- Esme gets ... a bit obsessive over whoever she lays her eyes upon and becomes friends with. She is far too passionate for her own good. Once someone is in her sights and becomes her friend or lover, there is nothing that will stand between her and them. Nothing. Not even them. Be afraid, be very afraid. While she wouldn't pull a knife on her friend/lover, she would playfully punch them a bit toooooo hard. On the other hand, if an enemy were to attack her friend/lover, all bets are off.


PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Pink, oval/wide.

Hair: Pink, long and flowly, jagged bags.

Face: Round face free of complexions.

Clothes: Meadowview High School

First of all, Esme seems like a really interesting character and she seems like she will be a load of fun in roleplay!

Glancing over her civilian part, I noticed is that she has more flaws than virtues, and when it comes time for stamping, the more they know about her, the better! From what I've heard, in addition to having a few good sentences to describe each virtue/flaw to see how you intend to play it, it's best to have the same number of virtues and flaws so that people can get a good, rounded idea of your character. I think the virtues and flaws you have in place will play off of each other, but I do recommend having another virtue just so things even out. (If you’re having a hard time coming up with one of them, the first thing that popped into my head was ‘creative’ since she writes fanfiction and also daydreams, but there are a multitude of virtues to choose from!)

Of her hobbies, you have ‘watching’ listed, and to me it seems like that hobby is more like daydreaming while using the people around her as her subjects, though it might just be how I was reading it!

On her powered side, originally I was questioning the sphere of romance since ‘love’ is one of the locked spheres, though after thinking about it, I felt that romance and love were different enough that I didn’t think it was a problem, however it is possible that one of the stampers might think differently (or I’m just paranoid!). Just in case, you might want to consider a backup sphere! [Maybe senshi of the Dawn? Aurora is the Roman goddess of dawn if you'd be interested]. As for the title of Aurora, I think it is helpful if you can offer a link to the celestial body somewhere in your profile (Are you using the asteroid, Aurora?)

For attacks, the names you’ve chosen are very fun! xD

The parameters of first attack seems pretty good to me, though for her second attack, it doesn’t seem like an upgrade as much as it does a different attack. Of her second attack, I am questioning the kiss of the companion. There are a lot of times when enemies don’t travel in numbers, so they could end up wandering around in a daze for a long time! I think adding a time effect for this instead of a kiss to cure it might work better. Maybe they could remain in a daze for 10-15 seconds and then have the effects wear off?

And, on a side note, it might help to include information like, what happens if they get attacked while in the daze? Will they remain in the daze or wake up?

For her eternal attack, I feel like this has the potential to do a lot of damage—and it might be a little too much. It’s okay to do damage, but dozens of tiny knives might be a little overkill.

I think the important thing is to remember to stick with the sphere and have attacks reflect ‘romance’. Sailor Venus, as a senshi of love, also used hearts as her attack, and there is Sailor Ganymede, Senshi of Lust (I know it's not exactly the same as love or romance but thought he was worth mentioning!) and Sailor Alnair, Senshi of Roses here. As long as you could incorporate some romantic aspect behind Aurora’s attacks (Like, maybe for her second attack, where the victim goes into a daze? Maybe include it as a dreamy, romantic daze?) I think you can make the attacks work.

Her second attack is absolutely my favorite, so maybe it would help to consider attacks that have more of a romantic effect on the target than a physical effect so you keep with her sphere? This could be done in any number of ways—maybe for her eternal attack, the target is suddenly overwhelmed with romantic feelings towards the first person they see for fifteen seconds? This could be either an enemy or an ally of theirs (in which case, one target could become a distraction for another opponent if there are two opponents in the area).

All of these are just suggestions, though! And I realize I’ve said a lot, so I’m sorry if I’ve overwhelmed you with words! I kinda ended up talking in circles some, but if you’d like to bounce around attack ideas, I hope I can be clearer! Before investing too much time in contemplating what I’ve said (particularly over attacks) it might be really helpful to double check with Indu or Iris that Romance is an acceptable sphere and not one in a weird gray-zone!

All right! I finally had some more time and glanced over your changes!

This time, I’m just going to repeat some of the things that have been told to me while I was receiving crit and ask questions! Mostly these are just things to flesh out her character more and give her more of a rounded feel by looking at her virtues and flaws again.

Now, the personality traits themselves look very interesting to me! I love the idea that she is hardcore shipper and that this isn’t just in fanfiction but in her life as well! (Taking her out in public and letting her people watch seems like it would be a hoot! xD)

The thing I would focus on is how do they affect her?

Like, for optimistic—optimism is the act of being hopeful about the future and looking for the better side of things. I assume Esme rarely gets sad because she is always looking for the good in life! But what about when she does get sad? How long would a sad scene in a movie affect her? Or—what if it’s something bigger? What if she’s really optimistic about a job interview and she totally bombs it? Is she able to bounce back quickly?

For adventurous, even though it’s a virtue, don’t be afraid to explore how it can get her in trouble! You cover how her spontaneous flaw can bring negative affects, but how will those around her perceive it? If they aren’t as adventurous as her, will she push them to join her or will she leave them behind? If they offer a sense of reason, will she listen to them or is she completely driven?

I think her creative virtue is pretty well written! You could always include how her creativity benefits her or serves as a negative influence. (She can guess other people’s moves, but what happens if she guesses wrong? Or do a multitude of possibilities pop into her head and she is able to come up with a reaction for all of them?)

Regarding idealistic, I had ‘gullible’ as a flaw and one of the questions I was asked that really helped me flesh my guy out was ‘how gullible is he/does he learn from his mistakes/how many times can someone trick him before he learns?’ So! I want to pass those questions along! How long can Esme remain idealistic before someone can bring her down? What happens when someone does hurt her? Does she learn not to trust them anymore or does she just keep giving them chance after chance? And how does her idealism affect her? If she thinks that everything will work out well, does she still try her hardest or does she take shortcuts?

For spontaneous, how spontaneous is she? “Let’s go skydiving!” in the middle of class or “let’s go for ice cream!” in the middle of the night? Is she spontaneous within reason or is it completely up for grabs what will come out of her mouth? And something I was curious about—regarding her spontaneous and adventurous attitude, does this make her a less reliable person? If she’s invited to brunch with a friend but she finds something more interesting going on while she’s on her way, will she stick to plans with her friend or just change plans, spur of the moment? Is she the type of person to spontaneously cancel prior engagements if something more interesting comes up?

For yandere—I think this is a really interesting flaw, and not one I’ve seen before! For people who might not be familiar with the term, it might help to include this in your description so when it comes time for official staff critique they don’t have to go google it. On Wikipedia, the definition states “Yandere characters are mentally unstable, and sometimes are incredibly deranged and are not mentally sane, often using extreme violence and/or brutality as an outlet for their emotions” and that “Sometimes, they can just be played in a comedic, usually exaggerated, context.” Would you describe Esme as being mentally unstable in the sense that she would violently attack someone she cared for, or is it more like a playful punch that might be a little too strong? I don’t assume she’s the type to come up to a love interest with a knife and blurt, “LOVE ME OR ELSE!” but if she is, I’d love to see this clarified! And, regarding whatever violence she might show towards people she is close to/sees as a love interest, is she able to back off if they threaten her or does she see that as a sign of requited love? Will she back off if the police become involved?

This quickly turned into another wall of text, I’m sorry! Only a few more things, I promise! The rest is just about her powered!

Aurora is a lovely name, though I am curious, is there a reason you picked that title to represent the sphere of romance? While the senshi’s name does not have to represent the sphere (I have Remarque, Senshi of Puppetry, for example) it can be really fun to play with. Many Deities are dedicated to various forms of romantic feelings and have celestial bodies (such as Cupid, Eros, Frigga and Lada, but there are maaaaaany more!).

And then, her attacks!

I think, this time around, I’m more focused on the descriptions rather than parameters. Hearts have a clear connotation to love, so I imagine they’re like a ‘sparkle effect’—something to fancy up the attack as it’s being casted. The same with the bubbles and sparkles! However, they kinda give me a foo-foo feel about them, and while I do think of a romance scene from a girly shojo manga, I wonder if there is a way to give her attacks more of a ‘romance’ feel?

When I think of romance, I think of a rush of passion and love for life—colors are brighter, smells are sweeter, sounds are more pleasant. The first attack’s parameters seem awesome to me, but I think I might be looking a little too hard to answer the question of “Why would a Senshi of Romance have this sphere? What about this attack has the spice of Romance?” I think this could easily be remedied if you tossed in something like “For as long as they are ensnared, they will also feel a euphoric sensation”. The sensation wouldn’t have to affect them like her second attack, but it still caries through with the romance theme, I think.

For her second attack, I’m kinda in the same boat. I feel like it could be a good attack, but it doesn’t have that tie in to romance. Again, when I think of romance I think of euphoric, good sensations, and not necessarily outright attacking anyone. I would suggest tying in (next to the drowsy and feeling in a stupor) something about euphoric feelings. Maybe her attack makes them think about a current or previous crush that they suddenly find themselves infatuated with? And perhaps they could still attack their friends if, say, their friend tries to ‘wake them up’ from their thoughts? I mean, I could imagine if I was having a really euphoric daydream about a crush, I would be annoyed if my friend was nagging me and trying to pull me out of my happy zone xD

[Also, maybe it would be easier to have the attack be “This effect lasts for fifteen seconds or ends after they have been attacked” instead of “This effect lasts for fifteen seconds or ends after their first attack on whoever is closest to them” since if they are in a euphoric, dream like state, they might not even be aware of their actions enough to wake up after throwing a punch.

For her eternal attack, I feel that this is a good representation of her sphere! It reflects the infatuation you mentioned wanting to lean towards and I love that you included that they cannot attack or harm themselves! I think the only things I can ask about this one is: you say that if the target is Sailor Aurora, she can issue a command as long as it isn’t to harm themselves. Say there are two Senshi and one of them comes under the effects of ‘Romantic Overture’ and the first person they see is their ally. Is their ally able to issue a command that would be followed or would their words fall on deaf ears? If Sailor A is the target of Aurora’s attack and sees Sailor B and starts running to Sailor B with open arms, and if Sailor B blurted “What are you doing!? Attack her!” would Sailor A pause and try to attack Aurora to win Sailor B’s affections, too?

I apologize for this wall of text, too! I know this should probably only be a fraction of the length, but I tend to get wordy when I am trying to explain my thoughts on things! One day I will learn to be succinct, but in the mean time, thank you for letting me offer some long-winded suggestions!

Thanks for the crit! <3

I'm torn between keeping it as Romance or changing it to Infatuation.

What would you suggest for Romance powers?

Maybe try Infatuation as a sphere? If it isn't already taken, anyway...

Unfortunately by incorperating all of our ideas the powers now have too much going on at once.

A stupor/distraction attack that also heals people is too much for one attack, especially the low leveled ones.

Usually we prefer powers stay along the same line so the change from healing/distraction buffs to suddenly being an attack that has nothing to do with the first two attacks is just too much of a difference.

Thank you for explicitly stating that she can't force them to join the DMC heart

It looks good to me. Your quest is ACCEPTED. Good luck getting her!