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 Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:34 am
Flyn and I got in a rather lengthy argument about this.
Would you date a transgendered person?
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:45 am
Absolutely. But I'm the type of person who believes in loving the spirit, not just the body. If they are truly important to you, what they look like doesn't matter.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:51 am
At first, I was on the boat of, "Omg, you're such a d**k if you wouldn't, why can't you be open minded!? Blah blah blah."
Then I remember once, I was talking to Kishi and she was like, "I think that if you didn't like boobs, you wouldn't like girls..."
And that's no true, I like girls for other reasons.
But at first, I was shocked and went on the defensive like, "Omg! That seems pretty shallow!! Of course not!!!"
And Kishi was just like, "Makes sense to me. I mean, if you don't like something, you don't like it."
Which is, SO true.
You have the right to identify as whatever you want. Be my guest. I'll support you totally.
But can you honestly expect a straight guy to be one hundred percent immediately comfortable with spending time with a girl, and then when things get serious, and clothes hit the floor, her being a guy.
I mean!
Sure, transgendered people have the right to identify as whatever they want.
I'm just saying, you like what you like.
And I personally think it's a little unfair to say that someone is a closed-minded d**k for not being comfortable with dating a trans person...
We all have comfort zones okay?
And while sometimes, you need to step out of it, sometimes, for some things, it should never be breached. Sinful Nana Absolutely. But I'm the type of person who believes in loving the spirit, not just the body. If they are truly important to you, what they look like doesn't matter. I'm not saying I wouldn't date a trans!
I totally would.
I mean, I'm pansexual and I think personality is most important anyways.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:57 am
Pug, the situation you just described would be one quite similar to a Christmas morning for me. Best. Present. EVER.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 4:05 am
Sinful Nana Pug, the situation you just described would be one quite similar to a Christmas morning for me. Best. Present. EVER.
Omg, Nana xD <3
I imagine she'd be absolutely adorable! 4laugh
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 4:14 am
Ephynas Puggle Omg, Nana xD <3
I imagine she'd be absolutely adorable! 4laugh See? Even you can't say that it wouldn't be quite a surprise! And most of the time, one of the best ones.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:53 pm
I'm not opposed to the idea.
It bothers me when people make assumptions about those who say that they wouldn't date a transperson. It doesn't mean that they're a bigot or close-minded. If the attraction just isn't there, there's not much you can do about it. Not all transmen and -women choose to have SRS (nor should they have to), and that can be a factor for people who have more specific preferences.
I am generally attracted to men rather than women, but I'm not a Kinsey 6. But if I were 100% homosexual (or hetero), it could be problematic for me to date a FTM or MTF person. The emotional attraction might be there, but the sexual aspect of the relationship might not work. It all depends on the individuals involved.
My friend (a gay male) was in love with a FTM guy. Absolutely head over heels. He never had any problems seeing his boyfriend as a guy, but their sex life was ...well, it just didn't work, not for either of them. It's a real shame. sad
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 4:09 pm
Taeryyn I'm not opposed to the idea. It bothers me when people make assumptions about those who say that they wouldn't date a transperson. It doesn't mean that they're a bigot or close-minded. If the attraction just isn't there, there's not much you can do about it. Not all transmen and -women choose to have SRS (nor should they have to), and that can be a factor for people who have more specific preferences. I am generally attracted to men rather than women, but I'm not a Kinsey 6. But if I were 100% homosexual (or hetero), it could be problematic for me to date a FTM or MTF person. The emotional attraction might be there, but the sexual aspect of the relationship might not work. It all depends on the individuals involved. My friend (a gay male) was in love with a FTM guy. Absolutely head over heels. He never had any problems seeing his boyfriend as a guy, but their sex life was ...well, it just didn't work, not for either of them. It's a real shame. sad The thought of that honestly breaks my heart. That the two of them could find such happiness, and yet be unfulfilled. For me, I'm so genderfluid that it doesn't bother me, no matter what the body of the other is. I can see how, though, if I were attracted primarily to men how a female body wouldn't do it for me, even if the spirit inside was male. I hope your two friends find happiness somehow.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 4:26 pm
Sinful Nana The thought of that honestly breaks my heart. That the two of them could find such happiness, and yet be unfulfilled. For me, I'm so genderfluid that it doesn't bother me, no matter what the body of the other is. I can see how, though, if I were attracted primarily to men how a female body wouldn't do it for me, even if the spirit inside was male. I hope your two friends find happiness somehow. Thank you for the thought. Unfortunately, they've been broken up for quite some time. sweatdrop
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 4:29 pm
Taeryyn Sinful Nana The thought of that honestly breaks my heart. That the two of them could find such happiness, and yet be unfulfilled. For me, I'm so genderfluid that it doesn't bother me, no matter what the body of the other is. I can see how, though, if I were attracted primarily to men how a female body wouldn't do it for me, even if the spirit inside was male. I hope your two friends find happiness somehow. Thank you for the thought. Unfortunately, they've been broken up for quite some time. sweatdrop Happiness can be found apart as well. I still wish them the best. I do believe that would break my heart to shreds.
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2012 5:51 am
I could never date a trans person, for one of two reasons. One of the following is true, or perhaps both hold degrees of truth.
• This is an issue largely dependent on gender roles. A belief instilled at child birth that said "Men must be this" and "Women must be that," is a something that I regard as a societal illness and anathema. I detest and eschew nearly all gender roles, so someone who so firmly believes in gender roles that they take issue so strongly that they live their lives contrary to the body that they were born in does not have ideals that I could ever agree with.
• I simply don't understand them. Not because I haven't talked to some and have not tried, but because no one that I have spoken to has been able to articulate to me differently.
There is the added level, of preop transgendered people, where the body issue is also a large factor. I am attracted to personality types that I have only truly seen demonstrated in females, so in both body and nature my attraction is limited. Either one being male would prevent any attraction on my part.
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Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 1:33 pm
If I'm intellectually and emotionally attracted to someone, gender identity is irrelevant. That means that there would be some trans people I'd be interested in dating, others I wouldn't.
@Matasoga: While I think I understand what you're saying about eschewing gender roles (which I'm in agreement with), I think you're conflating roles with identity. Can one not intuit that one is female and still wear pants or enjoy dirtbiking? Not all transwomen are those hyperfeminine cartoons that are portrayed in films. Then again, if a woman (or indeed, a man) enjoys wearing high heels and flamboyant makeup, can they still not be empowered individuals if they choose it for themselves?
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Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2012 6:31 pm
Iconoclast Enthusiast @Matasoga: While I think I understand what you're saying about eschewing gender roles (which I'm in agreement with), I think you're conflating roles with identity. Can one not intuit that one is female and still wear pants or enjoy dirtbiking? Not all transwomen are those hyperfeminine cartoons that are portrayed in films. Then again, if a woman (or indeed, a man) enjoys wearing high heels and flamboyant makeup, can they still not be empowered individuals if they choose it for themselves? The examples that you gave are still just extensions of gender roles. "Women don't do this," and "Men don't do that," are still certainly gender roles. One must also never estimate the powerful influence of society on ourselves, whether or not we are actively aware of it. No one lives in a vacuum. In fact I can easily imagine seemingly small things in my immediate social environment that, had they been part of my life, would have left me as a completely different person.
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Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 6:26 am
I would totally date a trans! Gender to me doesn't matter. I'd much rather date a trans who admits that they were born a woman with man parts or vice verse than someone who stays a man and doesn't change but feels like a woman and hides it. So I guess what I'm trying to say the only true thing that matters to me is that the one I fall in love with or date or whatever the case may be is themselves. I accept every part of the person I have interest in...and if being transgender is something that is part of them then it's fine by me.
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Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2012 6:26 am
It really depends for me. I'd love to say I don't have an issue with it but in all honesty I probably would. But I'd have the same issues that I would with dating a man. Post op MtF then quite possibly. I'm all for loving the spirit over the body but when it comes down to it I'm only sexually attracted to women.
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