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 Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 9:24 pm
The pain wasn't going away.
It hadn't been long. Maybe a day or two. While Mot had been the one to officially end the relationship with Hel, it still hurt. That pain of losing his trust in her, the pain of his pride having fallen and shattered like fragile glass.
Still, he knew it was unhealthy to stay in his room forever. It wasn't making him feel any better. So he decided to take FooFoo, his Dreamdust Foxfire, for a walk.
The small puff of shiny white fur bounced happily in a park, chasing after whatever caught it's eye, while Mot watched from a park bench. If his aura could be seen, it would have been like a dark, thick cloud of misery. His posture was slouched and his demeanor gloomy. He looked like a shell of a man torn apart inside.
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Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 10:06 pm
Amarus was doing nothing. The slacker she was. Actually, she was hauling around like 5 books about baking, because she was too embarrassed to ask for help (and even if she wasn't, who would she ask). But those would remain a secret, if she could help it. She had tied them up in a brown cloth, and was looking for somewhere to read them. Jin was in tow, her Firelands Wyvling, faintly hissing to himself as he slithered along. Like singing. Singing for Wyvlings.
He had not enjoyed the minis portion of prom. Amarus was taking him out for a walk to reward him for not trying to eat any of the other minis while he was there, though-- it was a recurring problem with Jin. And so the first one between the two of them to notice who was around was actually not Amarus, but rather Jin, who spied FooFoo and got low to the ground.
Like he did when he was stalking his pray. Amarus noticed, and shook her head, bells ringing: "If you try to maul something, I am wearing you as a scarf for the next school year-- don't even think about it." Jin, defeated, stared in the direction of his prize.
Which led Amarus to see Mot, sitting on a park bench. She hid the books behind her, aura brightening upon seeing him. She practically bounded over. And didn't notice until too late that Mot was the picture of misery. She leaned over, until her face was close enough (probably in his personal bubble, actually), and tilted her head, watching him.
"This time I know better than to ask," she said, dropping the books and nudging them under the bench while Jin slithered over to watch FooFoo. She took a seat on the bench facing him, but with her feet up, back against the other arm of the bench. ... It was very hard not to ask.
She flipped open her phone, and texted.Because maybe it was easier to text it, than to ask? She knew she couldn't ask, but at least he could ignore it if he didn't want to talk about how he was. Amarus was not sure why she was so overwhelmingly concerned. But she was. Even if she wasn't... showing it. Her naturall calmness coupled with the fact that she was elated to see him meant that the ghoul was pretty much impervious to his bad mood. "... You don't have to answer that, if you don't want to." Just in case there was any doubt.
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Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 10:19 pm
Mot sucked in a sudden breath as a face appeared before him, orange eyes staring back into her glassy gray peepers. It didn't help he hadn't been hiding his misery, so there was no way to wave it off as nothing. He couldn't very well hide it yet anyway. It was too fresh, too raw.
He slid his back against the back of the bench a little as she settled opposite of him. Feeling his phone buzz in his pocket. Pulling it out, he saw who Amarus had been texting. Him.
He looked up to regard Amarus as she spoke, his sad eyes settling on her rather than his phone. "I'm not okay." He answered honestly aloud. He considered her a friend, and he wasn't about to make a bad rift by lying right off the bat.
"I um..." Mot hesitated, not because he didn't want to talk, but he was worried about putting all his misery on his new friend. "I broke up with my ghoulfriend.."
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Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 10:26 pm
If he had lied, she probably would not have believed him. Probably being the key word. Mostly because until she had a handle on this "I feel things" aspect of her second year, she would have to rely on verbal confirmation from others. Because what looked sad to her wasn't necessary ... truly sad? In this case, though, she felt like he could probably summon a few dozen misery-spirits with the way he was hurting.
She was moderately surprised when he turned to look at her, though. And then answer. She listened for a moment, tilting her head like she tended to do as he spoke. After his initial hesitation, upon telling her what was wrong, Amarus shifted first so that she was sitting with her feet on the ground, like one should likely sit on benches. And she looked off into the park. Took a deep breath out of habit.
"I imagine that hurts quite a lot, right?" She couldn't say from experience, but... she could only imagine. It must suck to be used to something and find it is suddenly gone, right? Or suddenly changed. If feelings were this bad without such attachments, she certainly did not want to experience the raw grief of becoming attached and losing it.
Amarus' aura flickered low to her skin, and she naturally sought to calm him. Which meant that, in a gesture not intended to be affectionate, she very slowly shifted on the bench so that her arm was against his, and leaned her head on his shoulder. Just for a second, if he'd let her-- not to be comforting in the traditional sense, but because her essence worked by proximity.
And it looked like he could use a dose now, however weak or fleeting it might be. Just a bit, to make this next hour easier. "How long ago? Have you been sleeping at all since...?" Amarus knew, from their conversation before (or at least thought she remembered??) that Mot, unlike her, had trouble with insomnia. So she worried now that he had not been sleeping, if he was particularly upset.
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Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 10:36 pm
"It does.." He murmured, clasping his hands together anxiously.
Her gesture was actually appreciated. Despite the nature of his loss, having someone sit close felt a lot less lonely. Her natural aura and it's calming properties helped numb the pain, if only slightly. Any relief was welcome and needed. "A couple days? And no.. I haven't slept a wink." He admitted solemnly.
FooFoo frolicked nearby, sniffing things and prancing about, not realizing or caring that another mini was stalking him.
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Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 10:44 pm
"Don't clasp too hard, or you'll break your nice hands," she cautioned, teasing. She reached one hand out and gently flicked his clasped hands before leaning her own on the edge of the bench on either side of her again.
At least he hadn't recoiled. That was a start. Amarus had no clue what to do in these situations, except for rely on her natural ability to bail her out of wanting to help and not knowing how. It had better get jacking easier to do this, or she would just quit feeling altogether. Yeah, that wasn't a real option, but sometimes she dreamt of days where it had been.
"... only a couple of days? No wonder you look like the dead," Amarus admitted, wincing. And he hadn't slept at all? "You realize I'm going to stalk you until you get some sleep now, right? As a natural narcotic, that is now my duty. And a pleasure." Amarus was half-kidding about stalking him; half, because she probably would follow him around for now, until he got some sleep. He needed sleep, didn't he? Amarus was fairly fond of him, and would rather he did not die.
"Did you... want to tell me about it? Anything at all. I am a blank slate, and no one will hear a word I say. On my honour. So... anything you want, Mot. Even nothing. I can take it. I'm tough," she said, rubbing her knuckles on her left collarbone, as if dusting herself off and reveling in her awesomeness. Yeah, she could be tough; but seldom in matters such as these. As some saw in prom, especially when she was walking around sulking at Kettil and Lark.
Jin, for his part, was slithering towards the foxfire, as his owner appeared to be entirely distracted. He was preparing to pounce. He wouldn't eat it, just... nibble a little? Yes? This was acceptable?
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Posted: Sun Jul 01, 2012 10:57 pm
Mot unclasped his hands, letting them rest on his knees for now. Obedience came with depression it seemed.
Mot couldn't even manage a polite chuckle to her response, simply nodding in defeat. Yes, let him be stalked into slumber land. "Thanks." He murmured softly. He could use the help. Xiu's tea was hardly working anymore, a resistance having been built against it long ago.
His eyes drifted to the side, wondering if it was alright to divulge. "Okay.. just... it is between just us." He reminded with a soft sigh. "We had been on a break of our relationship, since we tended to butt heads on a few issues. Some were my fault, others were hers. We were not seeing eye to eye." He tried to push this out of himself, feeling maybe saying it aloud with give him clarity. "I suggested we take time apart, and see if we could let time clear our minds."
He frowned even deeper. "She told me a few days ago, that a short time after that day? She and my best friend's boilfriend became intoxicated on cider. Apparently one thing led to another and they.." He hesitated to say it aloud in the presence of a lady, but let out a defeated breath after a moment. "And they had s..... they slept together."
Not to mention the boil in question was a well built and much more handsome reaper than himself. A blow to the ego for sure.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 12:26 am
It was, perhaps, slowly sinking in just how sad Mot was. Amarus wasn't ruffled by it, except that she felt something nagging in the pit of what would be her stomach-- his pain was, in part, hers? Which she assumed was an unpleasant side-effect of caring for someone. She just watched as he unclasped his hands and nodded in defeat. "If you wake up with no shoes, I didn't do it," she replied, in response to his thanks. "So save any gratitude until you've been unconscious for a few days straight, and when you wake up shoeless and in a dress, hopefully you will have won Miss Prettiest Amityville and not like... I dragged you around pretending you were my sister. In a coma."
Now she was just wracking her brain for the weirdest possible outcome. "Although if you were my sister, I would be graced with very handsome family. My, what lovely black hair you have," Amarus joked, reaching up to jokingly twine the tip of his hair around her finger and release it, providing he didn't move away again. Once more, an excuse to push her essence over to him. To ease the difficulties.
And then he was explaining what happened, and she nodded to cement her promise that on her honour, nothing he said would be spoken to a single soul again, living or dead. Or undead. She listened quietly, bringing her legs up so that she could wrap her arms around them and rest her chin on her knees, listening. She kept her side close to Mot's side, if possible. Long pause. Amarus' people skills were still kind of lacking, but she was sure as jack going to try her best right now.
"And of course it meant something to you that she did that?" she asked, resting her head on his shoulder again, bells ringing out. "Well, of course it did... Are you sure you don't want me to challenge him to a duel for your honour?" she asked. "Because I'll do it, you know. I'll challenge them all to a duel! One by one. Everyone."
In the end, it was her best asset, according to her own opinion; her strength was all she had to offer, because she wasn't sweet, and she wasn't always very smart, and she was really pretty technologically incapable... so, what could she do but offer to fight his problems away? If Mot's sadness was a tangible threat, she'd totally try to punch it in the face.
"I never liked cider," she added, as an afterthought. "But I cannot challenge cider to a duel."
Finally, trying to see if she could be more serious at all, she added: "Sincerely, Mot, I cannot imagine what the conversation would have been like when you found out..." Because she couldn't. She'd never been in a similar situation. But she could understand that would it not hurt to have someone who was yours ... be someone else's, even in passing? Amarus' shoulders sank a little. She was doing a terrible job of this, wasn't she? Even if she'd never admit it aloud.
Helping was a lot like hard work, is what she was noticing. Hard work for someone who'd shown her a kindness, and although at first she had merely wanted to repay the favour, she felt as though she was in a headlong collision with caring for Mot, and that it had become inevitable she would worry for his wellbeing. And also stalk him to make sure he slept.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 7:07 am
Mot stared at the ghoul as she joked about shoes and pageants, scratching his cheek sheepishly. "Well, if I sleep so deeply I don't remember such things it can't be all bad." He didn't pull away as she tweaked his haie, offering the faintest of smiles, however defeated it looked.
"No, no need to fight on my behalf. It's a rather private situation." Mot appreciated her vigor and kindness, whether or not she was jesting about dueling someone. "If anyone were to fight, I would rather it be me." And oh how he wished he could pummel Mac into putty.
"It wasn't pleasant." He agreed with a small nod. "Thankfully I heard it from her rather than anyone else."
Mot sighed, slouching further back in the bench. Everything just felt heavy, dreary. Even Amarus's essence could only do so much to mask the depression. "I thought being outside might help, but I still feel miserable." The reaper pouted slightly, defeated eyes turning to the pink haired ghoul beside him. "Sorry, I wanted our next meeting to be on much better terms.. but thank you for listening."
Meanwhile, FooFoo sensed danger. Danger in the form of a slithering minipet. He whined.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 8:37 am
Amarus stared back. Well, at least she got a small smile. It didn't have to be much. She smiled back and returned to staring off into the distance for a moment, silently as she was listening.
"You know, Mot, I am known for picking fights for no discernible reason. Well, I used to be," she said. So it was in her "nature" to fight, regardless of the cause. Not that she was seriously recommending he let her fight. "In these cases... well, I do not know much of them personally, but it is like poison? And everyone has different ways to deal with them, but I think taking the poison out of it is the important part. I think?" She held her hands out, palms open and upwards, and then looked at him, as if to say I'm grasping at straws here, do I make any sense? "What I mean to say is... some view combat as violence and aggression. I do not see it that way; for me, it is creating an understanding, and in some cases it is drawing the poison out. You cannot fight what he has done to something you cared for, but you can fight him in order to say I am not okay with this."
She was clearly rambling again. But, for the first time ever, she finally got a chance to explain to someone why she fought. It wasn't because she was angry; she seldom felt anger at all. Out of all her emotions, that would be the very last to return, if it ever did. Being a Lotus Eater ensured that. It was kind of hard to feel anger when your natural state was a pleasant empty calm, stretching on infinitely like grey ocean. Didn't help that sadness, hope and joy were rocking her boat, though.
"Going outside does not help if you go outside to wallow the same as you did inside," she told him, wrinkling her nose. Amarus turned to look at him as he turned to look at her, and she shrugged, reaching up to clasp his shoulder firmly as she spoke next: "For me, seeing you is always good terms-- you are not in a good state, but what is that to me? Apart from that I am sorry you feel this pain and I can't take it from you. Ease, but not take... couldn't used to feel this at all, Mot, so it's kind of a prize for me."
That probably made no sense. She didn't know how to articulate it, of course. But it was a "prize" to be able to sit with Mot and talk to him about... well, what he felt. Because before, she had never done anything like that. Having little desire to get to know anyone like that ensured that most of her activities involved throwing things, fighting things, breaking them or setting them on fire. Mort was the only one she'd 'talked' to, and that was when she was really new, and confused; she had asked Mort what a soul was. How to know if she was one, or had one. What it was that souls did. You know, the standard existential questions.
"Mot, you seem to me to be a sad, unlucky boil. I am going to take you away from the dorms for a day, and we are going to do something to remedy all of this. Got it?" Although her voice was firm, her face was gentle. She tipped her head, bells ringing again, and rested it on his shoulder like she had been doing. It was just kind of nice here.
Amarus had to gloss over how sad it was making her that Mot was so hurt. She did not like to dwell on that, but rather power forward; Mot could grieve for himself all alone. She, while feeling a dulled form of that, felt like it would be better to grab him and run. Even for a day, build an environment where he couldn't be so comfortable being miserable. Distract him.
Jin looked over at Amarus as the foxfire whined, to see if she or its owner had heard, and he'd be in deep trouble. No such misfortune, as far as he could tell... so he slithered faster, closer, and prepared to pounce. When suddenly he became a Wyvling-troll and instead of pouncing just slithered right by the foxfire in a hurry, laughing internally insofar as Wyvlings can laugh, before slithering back to the bench and hiding under it.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 8:59 am
He supposed fighting could be a form of release. Hel had been the same way. Mot never really felt that way. The most he;d done in that sort was challenge Shun to a duel once to regain his honor. But that was because he respected Shun. However..
Mot did not respect Mac. Not at all. He would get no duel.
"You have a point." He responded, knowing somewhere within that no matter where he went, if he didn't push for a mood change on his own, the environment wasn't going to do it for him. Her followed words made little sense, but she seemed eager to try and talk things through with him, for his sake.
Mot smiled softly at her offer, nodding. "Got it. I wouldn't mind a day away."
FooFoo got spooked as the Wyvvling rushed by, yapping tirelessly at air and bouncing about angrily.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 9:09 am
There was definitely a disconnect between Amarus' views on fighting and Mot's views on the subject, but given she was the odd one out so far, she had no place to say anything about it. She didn't believe it was the valid view, it was just the only one she had.
There was a time to grieve. Amarus knew that. There was a time to lick your wounds. It was just that she, by nature, tended to keep on moving as she grieved, and keep trying to build even if what she had was knocked down. Every single time. It was not hard to hide grieving when her face was naturally kind of blank, though. She just looked disinterested in everything unless she was paying attention. Okay, again, except when Kettil had noticed her sulking. She did not look very good that night.
She never did find that shoe...
"Good. I will bring food. And drinks. I will not make either of them, so don't worry-- they will be edible. But no more cake," Amarus finished, grimacing. She had fallen asleep under the table with that plate of cakes, having eaten no more of them, and rolled over onto the plate in her sleep. Waking up with bits of cake plastered to your face was not enjoyable. If she had been a breather, she would have probably died from cake. What kind of ghost would she be then, terrified of cakes? An extreme aversion, at best. Baked goods. Eugh.
Her face was kind of distant as she thought of all these things, and her eyes started to droop. Sleep was threatening to take over again. She reached up and played with one of her ribbons in order to disturb her bells and wake herself.
The tireless yapping alerted Amarus to the fact that Jin was nowhere to be seen, which was about when he slyly slithered onto her lap and curled up there, flaming wings flickering gently. She stared at him. "You were up to no good. Don't even act like you were."
Sighing, she decided that at least the foxfire appeared to be un-nommed. And she turned to look at Mot: "It's a deal. Don't try to back out of it," she cautioned him, teasing. Yeah, in the end, getting over this was up to him. It hadn't been long, so she couldn't imagine he'd be magically better just because she dragged him out. But it was something to do while he healed. So why not?
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 10:32 am
Would it be bad to tell her he didn't eat much? Probably. He just smiled and nodded. Hopefully she wouldn't bring too much. Or he could bring FooFoo secretly and feed the pup his scraps. Good plan.
Speaking of FooFoo, the yapping was starting to annoy the glum reaper, narrowing his gaze and sitting up straighter. "FooFoo, chill out." He grouched. The foxfire growled, and then started to roll around in the grass like nothing just happened.
Mot nodded to the ghoul. "It's a promise. Or um, deal. I look forward to it." The reaper rolled his shoulders back a bit, letting out a breath. "I'll also be heading to Lizzy's house for the weekend. I think all these distractions may help me pull out of this funk."
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 10:41 am
Given she was a ghost, Amarus didn't really need to eat anything, and usually preferred not to. It was only during recent social events she'd bothered at all. So it might not even occur to her that he wasn't eating much, but if she noticed, there would certainly be hell to pay. No wonder Mot looked like he had such a poor constitution.
"At least irritation cheers you up," Amarus noted, watching him finally straighten his posture. "Your foxfire is adorable. I want to bury my face in it." She said that before she could filter out her inner thoughts from her voice. Her foxfire, Ashbel, often served as a feel-better pillow when Amarus was alone in her room. Especially when she'd come back from Conquest and missed all her friends.
"Promise is okay too," she added. "Oh? Lizzy's?" Amarus smiled awkwardly. "Lizzy seems like a good influence. If nothing else, maybe she will cram so much cheer into you that you can't help but feel better." Amarus wondered if that tecnique actually would work better. "Well, when would you like to do your surprise trip, since you will be gone on the weekend?" She pulled her legs up onto the bench again and wrapped her arms around her knees.
On second thought, for a moment, Amarus untangled herself from around her own knees and buried her face on Mot's shoulder again, reaching on arm around him in as unawkward a hug as one could be while sitting on a bench side by side. "You'll be okay, right?" she asked. She did not know how terrible these kinds of things could be, and she had taken it for granted that it would subside fairly easily. Just because that was how she was. But for a moment, she let herself be unwarriorlike. After all, Lotus Eaters by nature were calm, peaceful, and soft. It was something about Amarus in specific that had made her take that calm and turn it into a warrior's nature. Whoever she had been before death.
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Posted: Mon Jul 02, 2012 11:09 am
Mot managed a short chuckle. "He makes a good pillow when he decides to stay still." Mot joked. He let out a whistle, beckoning the foxfire closer. FooFoo pranced and leapt toward them, eventually jumping onto Mot's lap. The reaper gave the ball of fur a pet and scratch or two on the head. Ah, pet therapy.
Mot smiled every softly at mention of Lizzy's disposition. "Yeah, her cheer is rather contagious. She usually makes me feel better whenever I feel low." He refrained from bothering her for this problem, since it not only involved her, but he felt like he was leaning on her for support much too often.
"We could go sometime after I return? I'll give you a text when I do."
Mot was surprised and caught off guard as he was suddenly hugged by the blank faced Lotus Eater, orange hue eyes staring down at the pink head of hair on his shoulder. "Um. Well, yes, eventually." He stammered, baffled at her sudden worry. His arms reached up enough to hold her back. "I can't say when, but.. I mean, I was fine on my own before her.. so it will just take time to adjust, is all."
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