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 Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 3:59 pm
It was getting late. Not very late but late enough that dorm rooms were closing and people were bedding down. Bix was in his PJ pants, Pac man to be specific, and wandering the halls with a can of coke and a candy bar. It probably wasn't helping him sleep but that was besides the point. Where were all the night owls? Jude's door seemed to be cracked, a sliver of light peeking through. Maybe the other young man was awake? They weren't close friends but they were friendly enough to hang out. He knocked lightly on the door, hoping the other was awake and not that he'd just forgotten to close his door.
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:07 pm
He was settling back into routine again - at least routine before he was suddenly forced to spend the night in the bunkers for seemingly eons in a row, one eon too many if you ask him. Oh sure, there were good memories made, bad ones as well. Mostly? He was glad to have his own space again even if it wouldn't ever amount to anything much in the end of it all. Jude sat at his desk staring down at the black logo of his red Thundercats shirt in a thoughtful manner.
Then the knock came causing him to sit up a bit straighter and then eventually stand up on his feet to open it a bit wider to show...Bix.
Jude tilted his head but gave a small smile, "What's up?"
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:16 pm
Bix shrugged and smiled a bit at the blonde. "Nice shirt!" He was wearing an orange shirt that looked like a prison uniform. It said 'Arkham Asylum' and only barely matched his dark blue pjs pants.
"Nothing up actually." He shrugged and offered a segment of his chocolate bar. "Your door was the only one with a light still on. I'm just... not tired."
Bix peered over the other man's shoulder at his dorm. "Nice.. completely intact. Me too. We're the lucky ones."
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:23 pm
Jude stared down at his shirt and then glanced over at Bix, "Oh, hey thanks. Dig the pajama pants and the shirt," he said in kind. Jude himself was wearing just a simple pair of black pajama pants nothing too flashy but then the young man didn't wear a lot of different colors either tending to prefer blues, reds, or black before he wore other shades.
"Yeah, I have a lot of issues sleeping. It's weird I got used to having to sleep on a cot and now I have to train myself to sleep on my own on the bed again," he shrugged a bit as he shuffled off to the side gesturing to Bix, "come on in if you want."
"It is good to be lucky for once," Jude smirked a little bit, "I seem to attract bad luck like a magnet some days."
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:28 pm
"Cool.." Was all he said in response to being invited in. He took a sip of his soda and took a look around. Of course at their core, every dorm on this floor was the same, but they'd all been there long enough to have a few personal touches.
"So glad to be out of that bunker though." Bix smiled and stood around a moment before he sat on the edge of the bed and curled his feet up and under him. He chomped down the rest of his candy bar and wadded the wrapper. Looking for a trashcan, he was ready to do a basketball shot.
"How ya been lately? Ups.. downs.. girls.. boys.." Yeah. Nosey. "Whatever. I don't think you and I have even hung out before." Bix grinned.
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:45 pm
"It is nice to be out of that bunker, yeah," he chuckled as he just half-assedly closed the door again. He trusted Bix to not just suddenly be a murderer and he also didn't really tend to close the door all the way unless he slept anyways. One day it might bight him on the a** but for now it simply worked. He moved to turn his chair to face Bix deciding to take that seat for now.
He made a small face at Bix's line of question mostly because of the word 'boys', a lifetime of teasing along that line had made it a sore spot but for the young man perched upon his bed he let it slide, "Nothing new to report really. Just readjusting and trying to get past a few things," he shrugged a bit.
Memories were often hard to wrestle with especially when a box of old memories sat under the bed waiting to taunt him.
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:52 pm
Bix had missed Jude's brief reaction. Of course he hadn't meant anything by it. He just didn't know what ways most people swung. It didn't make much of a difference to him. When Jude spoke of getting through some things Bix nodded, seemingly understanding.
"What sort of things?" Didn't stop him from being curious. "I mean.. you don't have to tell me. I barely know you.." That sometimes wasn't too bad a thing though.
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:02 pm
His nose wrinkled a bit as he dealt with an oncoming inner debate as to whether or not he should tell Bix about the one sticking point he was currently having to deal with but then again - it got easier each day to let go and it helped to talk about it sometimes. He crossed his arms over his chest obscuring the Thundercats logo, "I have been dealing with a loss, that's all. Someone I was waiting to wake up...Didn't wake up. So I have been trying to work through that."
Jude shifted a bit in his chair, "It is just one of those things I hadn't honestly considered when we signed up and now whether I want to admit to it or not someone important to me is gone."
Depressing thoughts and heavy air he didn't like subjecting people to his problems so he cleared his throat, "How are you?"
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:12 pm
"Oh you know.. superficial stuff." Bix had a few things on his mind but he couldn't really put them ahead of what Jude had said. Bix had a loss of his own in the past, and it had a much more open ended conclusion.
"I'm sorry to hear about your loss." He frowned. "It's tough and it'll take a while." He nodded knowingly to Jude. "You'll never forget them and even years down the line you will wish they were there, but.. You have to just cherish the memories."
He seemed confident in his advice.
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:42 pm
"Well better superficial stuff than terrible stuff," Jude said in reply. Unlike Bix he wasn't too terribly nosey unless something dictated he should be nosey. He didn't pry he didn't like to pry not unless it was something that was going to be useful to the Hunters as a whole and as long as Bix seemed happy enough Jude was glad to let it be. Now, if Bix was sad or upset Jude might have been a bit more persistent.
When Bix resumed talking about what had happened to him recently Jude was about to object before he fell silent and listened before he offered a bit more of a sincere smile and nodded, "Yes, thanks. I appreciate that you care," he said reaching up to rub the back of his neck, "but I doubt you want our first hang out session to be with us all bummed out over death. I mean...I appreciate you're willing to talk to me about it but..."
He shifted a bit in his seat, "I don't want to depress you is all."
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 5:48 pm
"It's not depressing. Well I mean, yeah it is, but I've been through and so I know sometimes it's good to talk about it. Sometimes it's not too, depends on you I guess." He finished his soda and leaned to drop the can in the trash.
"I lost my brother years ago. Worst part is we never found him. No body no.. evidence." Bix shrugged. "I've had years to sort of.. work on it. He was young too." A whole life ahead of him. Bix couldn't help but sometimes be envious of those who at least had a corpse to put in a grave.. or knew 100% with no doubt that their loved one was truly dead.
Bix had done the mourning but there was always a part of him that wondered if he was just somewhere else, growing up and living.
"Talking.. letting it out.. never a bad thing."
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 6:07 pm
Jude digested a bit of what Bix was telling him - at least he was willing to listen to others rather than shutting everyone out but then Jude had changed and opened up enough to where that was possible if it had been at the start when he first woke up he would have just given up completely by now. He smoothed over the wrinkles of his shirt quietly, "Sorry about you brother. I can't even imagine how that must be like to not have a body to see but then ... the person that died? I have to take the upper management's word for it that she died. They'd already cremated her and buried her before I was told anything for sure. I just have to trust them, right?"
Seeing the body made a world of difference sometimes but Jude could understand why the protocol it was set up this way.
"I just...feel really responsible for what happened to her sometimes. If it wasn't for me...My Susannah would maybe be alive somewhere," Small bitter smile appeared, "but who knows, because it is done now." Jude shifted to stand up on his feet, "She wouldn't want me to think that way. Is that what helped you with your brother? Knowing that he wanted you to move on?"
Or was that just a crock of bullshit one tells themselves?
{Whatever worksss, Champion.}, Yom's voice answered his unsaid thought.
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Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 7:22 pm
Bix nodded though, understanding that Jude didn't trust the management. The other hunter wished he could assure him that trusting them was alright but he couldn't. He stayed silent on that topic. He nodded, noncommital, but frowned all the same. "He was a bright person. Full of energy. He didn't even like me sitting in my room at the computer. So.. I think he'd want me to keep going. He was little, not deep, maybe it's better off anyway. We've learned how awful this all can be sometimes.." how this 'real' world was dangerous and complicated and sometimes they had to do disgusting things. Susannah? She at least was kept from that. Especially if she was as precious as she seemed to Jude. "I'm not sure I would have come here without him. Without that happening."
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Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 4:47 pm
Jude let out a soft 'hum' within his throat and then nodded, "I just like to think that our loved ones that are gone now would ... want better for us rather than just pining away." He frowned a little bit at the thought it was almost like he wasn't confident about what the deceased would want from the living but then again ... he truly didn't.
The young man stretched his arms up over his head for a moment, "I dunno. I miss her a lot and some days are better than others - time heals nothing but it does get easier to deal with the pain, at least that is what I learned."
Time didn't heal it just moved forward - plodded steadily onward with marching feet and it ran over anyone stupid enough to resist it or even do nothing.
"...Thanks for talking with me over it though, if I ever annoy the s**t out of you let me know," Jude said with a small shrug and a chuckle, "sometimes even I annoy myself with my moods..."
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Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:24 pm
Bix nodded to everything Jude said. He wasn't the first hunter here he'd spoken to about loss. They all seemed to have it in their past and every once in a while it caught up to one of them. "I don't mind talking.. or listening. I pretty much run my mouth 24/7 anyway.." The albino hunter joked and scratched his head. "We all get moods. Haven't been so hot myself lately. But I think I've been trying to force myself out and around, hoping it'll just pass." Or one day he'd just wake up and the funk would be gone.
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