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*BOOM* the ground rumbled uncontrollably for several seconds. Screams of fright resounded off the walls making my ears throb. " Sam!" I turned just in time to get knocked over by my sobbing best freind. "Sam, I'm so scared." she cried. "Okay Ali lets get you to bed." I said softly. She let me drag her to her room where she collapsed tiredly on her bed. There was a loud banging on the door and it was suddenly blown in . I trained my gun on the mans head taking him by surprise. " Whoa." He cautioned, "Put down the gun. I'm not gonna hurt you." I narrowed my eys in suspision and kept my gun amed at him. He took a step closer and I squeezed the trigger.
The blood was everywhere and Ali was still sobbing hysterically. "Get some rest." I ordered as I left the room.

Thnx ill keep that in mind next time. biggrin

Woulda replied earlier but the dogs were freaking out. Anyways, what you have is good so far. As mentioned above, every time a new character speaks a new paragraph or line is started. I also suggest using more commas and just delving into detail in general. I would love to see more! smile

I staggered to my own room exhausted and shaking. Laying in my bed I thought about life before Russia decided to drop bombs on the U.S and start a war.
"Why?'' I whispered in the dark tears streaking down my face. A knock resounded the room making me jump up and train my gun on the door.
"What?" I demanded louded and starined my ears to hear their reply.
"Can I come in?" I heard Ali answer weakly.
"Come in." I replied somberly and lumbered towards to unlock the bolts and chains. I opened the door and bowd with a flourish. The ground quaked again making my teeth rattle in my skull. Ali smiled and gave a high pitched, nervous giggle.
"Alrigh now get some rest." I pointed to the spare bed and put my hand on my hip and mocked the tone of voice my mother used to use on me.
"O.k" She nodded somberly.
"Good." I answered gruffly and clambered into bed and feel into a dose.

thnx a bunch

I staggered to my own room, exhausted and shaking. The past horrors were too close, and returned grudgingly in my thoughts. I thought about how life had been, before Russia decided to drop a bomb on the U.S and start a war.
"Why?'', I whispered in the dark. The only answer came from the stillness of the room. A quiet knock. It made me jump. The gun in my hand trained automatically towards the door. A weak reflex to an abrupt call of caution. Caution or...fear?
"What?", I demanded, straining my ear to hear the reply.
"Can I come in?", A weak voice. Ali's.
"Come in.", I replied with an inaudible gasp, as I lumbered across the room to unlock the bolts and chains. The ground quaked again. This time, it made my teeth rattle against my skull. Ali smiled and gave a nervous giggle.
"Get to bed. You'd need some rest, if at all.", I pointed to the spare bed and mocked the tone of voice my mother used to use on me. An endearing, endearing mockery.
"Fine..", She nodded, sighing in submission.
"Good."
It was relief at last. The darkness of the room can grow to suffocate the sleeping. Her looming presence was a flicker of sunset. A presence to anchor me to immediate reality.

Darkly.

Note: You don't need to put an adjective before every action. Though some contemporary fiction-authors use that technique, it is generally an immature style. It drags on a sentence till it loses its essence. Keep your sentences short for a strong impact, especially if you want to express a certain feeling. Do not use too complex sentences that lead towards undefined objects. If you want your dialogue to be conversational, put a 'tone' into it. Some of your dialogues tend to lose their significance. If you want to portray a certain female character, don't stereotype with words like "High-pitched" or "giggle".

youre a realy good writer keep up the good work heart redface