Fuu knew better than to ambush Selene in any place where they might be overheard. They rarely had meaningful conversations but the easy-going lord was slowly running out of patience and he knew it was time to talk. It would have been impossible not to notice that Selene was upset about recent events, particularly the official marriage of her old beau to her niece. They had very briefly discussed Mazin before, he didn't think it was entirely useful to discuss him even now.. not quite.
He also knew better than to start a serious discussion in busy, public areas of the pride. While the den might have been the easiest place, they were more likely to be overheard- especially by her parents, and he knew that while they were on his side in many ways, it would be worse for him to involve them. So he had proposed going for a walk.
Now that they were off well-worn paths, it was time to talk.. but he didn't know how to start and remained silent.
Selene wasn't stupid, she knew why Fuu had asked her to join him for a walk and why they were avoiding areas like the dens or waterhole. This was something she had done when they were supposed to be wandering around, being seen together, early in their relationship.. at least when the time came to actually start talking to him instead of just showing him off.
She also knew all the things he could say, it would be all the same things her parents tried to scold her for or pressure her about. It would be all the same things she felt guilty about. It would be all the same things Fuu had been trying to hint about.
But he didn't say anything.
"So," she said loudly and purposefully, trying to prompt him into starting, walking calmly by his side.
Fuu was a planner, of course he had a plan but the problem now was he didn't honestly see it going his way. He was dedicated to her and this pride, he had given up a lot to come and stay here. He wasn't so sure of her loyalty, with arranged marriages extremely rare and separation not unheard of.. did she really have to be?
"We need to talk," he said finally, hesitating before continuing carefully, "I know you don't want to but we've always done what you want."
Ah, a guilt trip. She wasn't fond of it but she couldn't decide if Fuu was more likely to be expecting or hoping for her to become defensive at the observation. It would probably help his case, whatever it was, if that was how it started, so she suppressed her annoyance. Besides, she knew they needed to talk.
"I know," she said, her tone similarly cautious. She hesitated like she might make the first move but she ultimately closed her mouth again. He was leading this conversation, she wouldn't get into anything he didn't bring up. There were so many issues that were just best left alone.
OK, not so bad so far.. but she was being careful now too and she was very good at putting on a calm, indifferent face when she was upset. It was a valuable skill.
He stopped walking, unable to help but glance around before saying anything else. They hadn't noticed anybody around but it didn't hurt to be careful.
"I don't think you've been very fair to me," he said, realizing too late that he started out on a very accusing note but continuing in hopes of justifying his statement, "I left my pride and my family to come here and help your pride and your family. I've been here a long time now, cubs born shortly after I arrived are almost adults now."
He hesitated, trying to read her expression.
When he stopped walking, she walked ahead of him and turned around so they were facing each other. She didn't care for his accusing tone (maybe it was in her head?) and she didn't care for his self-important assessment of his role here in the pride. She knew what the situation was, she knew why he had come and what he had done and how long it had been.. she knew it was hard on him, too. But what about her?
"Life isn't fair," she hissed before she could stop herself, taking a moment to collect herself before continuing, "This isn't something I had a choice in. I didn't do this to you, you weren't what I had in mind."
Perhaps that was the reason she had so much trouble really moving on.
"Arranged marriages are, sometimes, the price of nobility," Fuu said calmly when she tried to redirect the blame for their situation, "No, it's not fair that you haven't been given the same trust and respect that others of your standing typically have but this is what we do."
Fuu may not have been as important as Selene when he was in the West House but he was a noble. Even as arranged marriages became less common, it was always the more likely scenario for him if he took a mate. And maybe that why he was more accepting of this than her, perhaps why, despite everything, he cared about her.
Which made everything more frustrating.
Selene didn't like that he had a point. She didn't need to be told that, she had always known it was sometimes a thing. It was common for male heirs but it wasn't unheard of for female heirs, she'd always just assumed it wouldn't need to happen to her. And that didn't change that this wasn't her fault. And as much as she wanted to yell at him, she was capable of being diplomatic and paused to weigh personal satisfaction against potential outcomes.
"What do you want from me?" she asked in a careful but dangerous voice.
Maybe he hadn't started the conversation off right, blaming Selene.. but she was the only one who wasn't trying with him. The only one who mattered, anyway. In fact, she was the only one who mattered for him out of any of them, no matter what they thought. Another thing that made it so frustrating.
"For a while, we were friends," he said, his voice just as careful as her's, "Then something happened, I don't know. You put distance between us and I've kept trying because you're important to me."
He hesitated, he hadn't meant to say it that way but it was out there now. He continued on, hoping she didn't cut him off just yet- remarks like that were irrelevant.
"It's very lonely," he said, getting to his major point, now speaking with more confidence, "I need you to be my friend again and I need you to start trying harder to be my mate. You're stuck with me."
She could tell how careful he was being but, even when he was claiming they were friends once, she didn't soften. Not until he said she was important to him- and that was when it struck her that he might actually like her. The idea was almost as suspicious as it was reassuring, she didn't know what to make of it.. but then when he said he was lonely, she felt bad. He wasn't wrong saying she had put distance between them.
"There are so many eyes on us all the time," she said, "Our marriage isn't perfect, it isn't even very good. How am I supposed to fix anything with everybody putting pressure on us, on me?"
Her parents had been careful about it but they had been hinting about cubs from the beginning. But they weren't so important now, she had plenty of sisters that could step in, she didn't need her own heir now. At least with them, she was just annoyed. Fuu's hinting about wanting a family was part of what had made her shut down, it scared her. Because his opinion on the issue did matter and she wasn't there yet.
Fuu sighed, glancing down at his feet when she pointed out the greatest obstacle in their relationship. They really weren't being given much of a chance and while he was able to work through it, she couldn't. And he couldn't imagine everything else that was going on, mainly with Yareha and Mazin, was helping much.
"Let's leave, then," he said, looking back up.
"What?"
Running away was a ridiculous idea, especially for a pair like them. He might have implied he liked her but the idea was far more romantic than either of them were and she was sure of that.
Fuu could see how her mind was working and he supposed he came to his conclusion rather quickly without explaining.
"Let's go to the Tianxia," he explained, realizing more and more he wanted to go home and visit his family, "We'll visit my family, I've told you about them. My mother would love to meet you, I'm sure."
It would help him feel less lonely and give Selene a break from all the pressure of her own family and pride. In the Tianxia, they might be asked personal questions by his family but it wouldn't have the same weight as it did around here. It might even help Selene understand how hard it was for him to come here.
"Oh."
Duh. It felt obvious now that he had mentioned it. The idea of returning to the Tianxia for a visit had come up not long after Fuu arrived but it had been forgotten over time. As unnerving as it sounded, going to another pride and submitting herself to the judgement of his family.. it sounded very nice, being away from her own family, pride and responsibility.
But could they do that?
"We'll have to check with my parents," she said slowly, thoughtfully, "And we might have to take a guard or two with us."
He blinked a couple times but then perked up considerably. She was being very careful in agreeing but it sounded like they might actually get to go home. Now that it was a possibility, he was letting himself realize just how homesick he was. He'd manage, of course, if they couldn't but.. the idea that he would see his family and maybe even have an opportunity to get closer to Selene.. this wasn't how he expected their conversation to go but now this was exactly what he wanted.
"OK, let's go."
Selene blinked in return but smiled as he nearly bounced in a circle to head back towards the royal dens. He was right, she wasn't always very fair to him and this was the first time she'd really seen him look happy.
"Right now?"
"Yes," he said simply, smiling and hoping she would agree. Fuu was eager to make the plan official and part of him didn't trust Selene's interest to stay. The tone of their conversation had changed so suddenly, he was expecting her to stop and overthink it. With that in mind, he toned down his outward excitement.
Sigh.
"OK," she said, turning around and starting their way back to the dens, "Mom should still be around the den unless something came up."
Selene wouldn't get her heart set on anything until she had an official OK to go, this seemed so strange but hopeful. She was used to having more time to consider her plans.. not that she'd had any this important, and it was just a visit to an allied pride.
Fuu followed along with Selene, letting her lead the way just enough so she wouldn't have to see his silly smile.
Fin!
