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Hel felt terribly, terribly proud of herself.

As she flung her door open, letting it bang against the hall wall, she grinned. She had gotten Mot’s hat back. The cowboil hat was held securely in a fair hand after she had spent some time cleaning and polishing it back up again. It had human germs on it. No way was she giving that back to her Motty with human germs on it. But now, not only that, but after that victory, she tore up some comic books that that stupid Hunter left, and she had battled another Hunter to the point of drawing blood. Not only that but she was blowing excess steam off by fighting at night. For seeds.

Hel was feeling pretty damn good right now…even if her cheek was swollen. NO MATTER.

The reaper marched across the hall and knocked on Mot’s door, holding the cowboil hat behind her for the time being.

The reaper’s expression brightened even more once Mot answered the door.

She was in a really good mood apparently. But she also ignored Mot’s inquiry about her cheek and dismissed it. “Bah! That is nothing, Motty!” Her grin widened and she swayed back and forth on her heels for a moment. “But this…this is something!” She then presented his leather cowboil hat to him. Back where it belonged and clean of human germs.

The ghoul wiggled the hat out at him, urging him to take it now.

“I battled the hunter that took it in the Haunted House!” She exclaimed. “I fought him and then he ran away like a little scareling, ha! I then took it back and ah, no worries! I cleaned and polished it! There is no human filth on it anymore!” Hel stared up at the cowboil with wide excited eyes, waiting to be praised more.

Damn it, Mot. Putting a damper on her good mood already with your disapproval.

Hel’s expression faltered briefly, and her arms drooped to hang at her sides, still clutching the hat. “…Well, Mot.” Oh dear Jack, Hel, please insert your foot right into your mouth. “I am capable of standing my own, alright? Also ah…do as I say? Not as I do?” Really, Hel, really? That was the best you could come up with? At least she wasn’t saying it in a haughty tone…no…it was rather tentative…

Waiting for that mine she just stepped on to go of…

Gone. All gone.

Hel’s shoulders slumped even more as she stared up at Mot, and the look on her face was pitiful. Defeated. That’s how she looked and felt. Like she couldn’t do anything right and it always, always ended with Mot being upset at her. Was she doing it again? Doing things because she wanted to? Doing things without thinking of anyone else? Hel looked down at the hat now. No…she had been thinking about seeing Mot smile once he had his hat back…thinking about surprising him with what would have been a good thing…

“…Yes, Mot.” She murmured. “It is fun bearing scars on my back because of false reapers.”

Did she do it because it was fun?

Well…kind of. Yes. Battling was always exhilarating to her…but she went off on her own trying to get something back that she’d never get back again really. Vengeance for her loss. Still…it didn’t excuse anything, did it? No. It never did.

“…It is not fair.” She murmured again, running her thumb along the rim of the hat as she stared down at it.

Hel was just quiet, frowning at his somewhat mocking statement. It wasn’t that it was hard. She just didn’t think of it…oh yeah, she was so not going to say that and give him more ammunition. Also as well, Hel was an impulsive creature…she just did things. She…she couldn’t hold onto this hat anymore. It made her feel awkward and if she kept on holding it she was bound to twist it and ruin it with her hands. The reaper came closer, and leaned around the cowboil, reaching out to hang the hat on his door knob and pulled away, turning around and letting her hands hang by her sides once more.

Then he said it.

I can't just pretend things don't bother me… I'm the one that always gets mad, so maybe it's all me.

The ghoul’s fists clenched, and she whirled around, and unfortunately, exploded.

“Ya know…if I could go back in time, I swear, Mot, I would stop myself from ever picking you up off of the ground and taking you into the sky that one day! Because ever since then, it feels like everything I do bothers and upsets you!” Hel grit her teeth, clenching her eyes shut briefly. “It feels like I can not do anything good…and…and ya know…I was avoiding you after I returned from the Isles and after we fought again….because Mot…because when I am not around to <******** things up, we do not fight! I…” Her shoulders shook.

“I do not like fighting with you either…but…I do not know what do anymore.” Her fists unclenched and she turned a bit away from him once more. “…and honestly…sometimes I truly wonder if I need to stop being selfish and stop hanging onto you…because maybe if I let you go, you would be happier. But Lizzy…Lizzy says that is a selfish way to think and…” Hel covered her mouth for a moment before lowering her hand a bit, choking a bit of a laugh. “…I guess that way of thinking fits me then. Selfish.”

Hel whirled around now to stare at Mot wide eyed as he spoke. Her heart clenched as well as she had a feeling…this was going somewhere she really didn’t want it to. She had thought about this though, hadn’t she!? She had thought this would be best for him, but now that it was seemingly happening, she didn’t want it to…she didn’t want to let go…but she should.

…relationships aren't easy and they do take effort...but there's a fine line between needing to work it out and clashing entirely…

Her heart ached. … you make me upset for being who you are…

...happy medium, yanno? But uh...that requires talking...and forethought. Which I don't think you're good at…

First impulse was to scream and shout that no they shouldn’t take time to think about this. She didn’t have time! What if something happened today…or tomorrow…or soon…and…and she regretted that they weren’t on a better page if something happened. It was a rare moment in which Hel took a few precious moments to actually thing things through right now. As much as it hurt…maybe this would be a good thing for them. It…it had to be better than what they were doing right now. She just wanted him…happy.

If that had to happen without her…so be it.

Hel let out a shuddering breath as her posture slackened. “…I am sorry too, Mot. I am…so sorry. You are right…this…needs to happen. We need…time. You are right.” She looked down, silent for a long moment. What did this mean now? Were they…not together anymore? Could she still hold his hand? What could and couldn’t she do? Oh…were they still going to prom together? That thought made her panic a bit...she should…do what she thought was best for him…!

“…A..ah…Mot….” She murmured. “…Um…if you want to go to prom with…someone else or…just…ya know…what is that term…ah…stag…? Then…that…that is alright…ya?”

For right now, a numbness started to set it, and for right now, that was probably the best. Hel was rather volatile depending on her emotions anyways. She didn’t want to be here anymore, but this whole prom situation really needed to be sorted out.

Hearing that she was still a best friend at least made her feel like all hope wasn’t lost…but it reaffirmed many things too. No touching. It wasn’t working out. Just friends. Going as friends though meant no commitments…and that was good…right? “…I mean…I invited you to my sister’s wedding as a friend…ya?” She hoped it was like the same thing as she nodded her head a bit. “But…I…I really want you to have a good time, Mot…so if you would rather go by yourself…and…do not feel bound or honored I just…want you to have a good time, okay?”