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Love and What It Means To You

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Djana Nana

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:04 am


Saber Talawyrm

What are your thoughts on love: what does love mean to you; what does true love mean? How does it affect who you are or how you behave?
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:05 am


Saber Talawyrm

I don't think love can be easily summed up at all. I think love is important and people treat it too lightly. A lot of people say they love you when actually they just mean that they really like you. Even though there are different types and degrees of love, some more easily given than others, all of them contain a complete acceptance of the other person no matter what may or may not happen between the two of you and at the higher end of the love spectrum moving closer to true love a willingness to sacrifice for that person. I believe that true love is the complete acceptance and willingness to do absolutely anything for that one person regardless of what the consequences may be.

That said love affects me differently depending on who I'm talking about, with some people, namely my husband, best friend and younger brother, the love there gives me a feeling of acceptance, of being at ease. I can be myself with out fear of what they may think of me. With my parents, love gives a similar feeling but tinged with a bit of fear and respect, I know I can be myself but still I hold some parts back a bit. Other types of love affect me/my behavior in other ways but this would be a very long post if I went into them all.

I believe that if you are going to tell someone that you love them you should be both 100 percent sure that you love them and be ready for how it will affect you and that person.

Djana Nana

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:06 am


Matasoga

I think this is just about romantic love, so I will limit my answers, thusly.
Love absolutely requires a willingness to sacrifice. With that, it's nothing more than "wuv," (as I derisively call it) which can feel pretty nice but is ultimately very unstable and not something that anyone should go believing in. The depth and nature of the kind of sacrifice one should be ready and willing to make will vary, based on the needs of your partner, but I can't imagine a relationship where no degree of sacrifice is required. Even if your partner is interested in lifestyle BDSM and is literally a willing slave then you've still given up the chance to have a partner on equal terms with you, which, at least at some point in the relationship, would be a sacrifice that you'd feel.
Of course, conversely, you can't, and shouldn't have to give up everything that makes you happy in life just for the sake of your relationship. If you're willing to, then you are close indeed to the very heart of love, to my point of view, but it's very unlikely that anyone that would ask this of you truly loves you. You should be readily willing to give up for yourself anything that you would ask of your partner to sacrifice. This is a good rule of thumb.
There's more to be said, but I think that's enough, for right now.
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:07 am


Saber Talawyrm

I don't suppose it has to only be about romantic love? That's how I originally intended it to be but I managed to go a bit off from that in my own post. It's what I get for making it when I was slightly more than half asleep I suppose. ^^;

Tamwyn_the_Mage

What is love? Above all things, love is a choice.

Contrary to common beliefs, love is much more then some wishy-washy, warm fuzzie feeling you have when you are around someone. It is more then just being happy with someone. More then sex, romantic dates, and living together.

For there will be times when these things are absent from the relationship. There will be times where there is mistrust, anger, depression, pain, and loneliness. What do you do then? For the majority of North Americans, its a divorse. But REAL love, it goes on.

It works through these times. It stays together, through thick and thin. in sickness and in health. in rich and in poor. for better or for worse. It goes on.

I am still young, only 19. Yet, even I can see what society has turned "Love" into. Couples will say their vows, and then live as though those promises were never made. When times of trouble come, they divorse...because they are too coward to work through it. from there, the cycle just repeats. You end up with people on their third and fourth marriages. Families that are broken. Children who are emotionally shattered, with no help.

We are taught that this is right. This is what marriage looks like. This is what LOVE looks like. We are all fools. and yet...do they know any better?

I do. What does TRUE LOVE look like? to me, it looks like this.
Sacrafice. Submission. Trust, Respect.

Sacrafice and Submission. Two sides of the same coin. When you truly love someone, you place them above yourself. Sacrafice and Submission. True love has these. True love is selfless. Is this one way? No! As will all of life, it's a two way street. One will Sacrafice for the other, place them first. The other, feeling the same way, will submit to the first, allowing them to be placed first, with out concete. Then, acting as the first, they will give back in kind...sacraficing for them as they were sacraficed for. a continual cycle of giving and recieving. and endless loop. and endless knot.

Trust. As with all relationships, when there is no trust, there cannot be love. Love is Trust. If you are to be bound to someone for live, should you not know them? And in kind...should they not know you? If you cannot be honest with your spouse...then there is no love. There are no locked doors, no secrets, no hidden things in love. Honesty is the key. without this, love cannot be released. it cannot be shown...for it is still locked away, in the hidden, secret places of our minds, hearts, and lives.

Respect. Without this, love is destined to fail. There must be respect. Love is selfless, yes, love is truth, yes. Love is EQUAL. there come times where one must step up. and there will be times where the other must step up in kind. But each will respect the other when these times come. In all things, There must be equality. Am i saying paychecks should be split 50/50? NO! the same with the tv, the bed, the car, the clothes. Each person has stregnths and weaknesses. And each couple must play their stregnths and weaknesses accordingly. but there are no lessers in love. where one is better in one aspect, the other is better in another. there is balance. there is only a lesser when one willingly places themselves as such. And at this time, it is the responsiblity of the other to lift them to their place as an equal...with respect.

Wrongs will happen. But if the love is true, there will be forgiveness. there will be healing, there will be growth. In the famed words of Daft Punk...what dosent kill me will make me stronger. same for love. in all things, there is growth. when trouble happens, and the love is broken, faded, or on the verge of collapse, true love will heal, mend, and grow stronger.

This is Love.

Call me an idealist. Call me a fool.
But i know it exists. And as long as I draw breath, I will not cease to seek it out.

Djana Nana

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:09 am


Saber Talawyrm

I agree with most of what you've said but I think sometimes it's okay to keep secrets. Sometimes even necessary. I love my husband but I have secrets that I've kept from him. Not because I don't trust him but just because they were transient things, that only would have upset him. I know he has secrets that he has kept from me as well, I don't think that means we love each other any less.

I think it's admirable that you were able to form such a pure view of love in this day and age especially when, as you mentioned, good examples are so few and far between.

Eternally-X-Kaguya

Love comes in many forms, and from unexpected places. Love is a wonderful thing to have but can also be completely self-destructing if you let it. Love does require sacrifice, but it also requires patience and understanding. Love and obsession are confused quite much in today's modern society, as are love and lust. I suggest that everyone realize which one they really have in advanced, so the other does not get hurt in the long run. Also, if one person loves another in a different way than the other individual loves them-Exp: romantic vs. friendly- Both can be hurt. I believe true love is only achieved when both "lovers" are in the same playing field of love and know each others limits enough to respect them.

Saber Talawyrm

Haruka- Yes, too many people confuse love with lust. I think people tend to go with what's easy instead of taking the time to truly think things through.
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:10 am


Liulfr Ragnvald

For me, love is something that is kind of hard to describe. There are many flavors of love. With friends, it is more of a wholesome thing and less dangerous for the emotions. The love I feel for a significant other is much different. When I fall in love, everything gets kind of intense. Things that mattered to me before cease to matter, and the only feelings that I'm concerned with are the feelings of the lady I love. I would do anything, be anything for her without a care. As long as she's happy, I'm happy. When she's down, I'm down.

As creepy as it might sound, the first thought in my mind when I wake in the morning is of her. "How is she doing? I hope she's okay." That sort of thing. Whenever I think of her I can't help but to smile. I would give anything to keep a smile on her face. If she's in pain, be it emotional or physical, I would do anything to be able to take her pain and suffer it myself, so that she wouldn't have to. As far as I'm concerned, she deserves the very best, and only happiness.

When I fall in love, I can't imagine life without her. There is no greater feeling, but if things should end, there is no greater pain. Love is tricky business.

Saber Talawyrm

I don't think that sounds creepy at all. Perhaps because I frequently do the same. It sounds to me like the lady you love is very lucky indeed.

Djana Nana

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:11 am


sicanne

Love is ultimately foolish, selfish, and it is the easiest weakness to exploit. We give other people the power to destroy our world, our lives, and ourselves, and we somehow trust them not to. But no matter who you are, love is not something you can live without.
When I find myself truly in love with someone, as depressing as it may sound, I no longer matter to myself. They are my only focus and my only goal is to make them happy, even if I can't do that myself. I sacrifice everything to them, and all I want in exchange is to see them smile. I would willingly throw my life, and everything in it away for said person. I would endure any pain, and smile through it. I suppose one could say I'd literally do anything for them.

Saber Talawyrm

sicanne- I am not very trusting and knowing that someone has enough power to so completely tear me apart scares me but even still I agree, seeing the one you love smile is worth everything.

Lil Candy Princess

I personally hate love. It always ends badly and becomes a nightmare. It's over-rated.

Intoxikace

Love is.. being able to be yourself around someone 100% at all times.
Being happy just seeing them, even for two minutes. Getting a text message and getting butterflies.
Of course love isn't perfect, but it's pretty damn close to perfect. smilies/icon_heart.gif
You stop being selfish and think about someone else. Love is beautiful.
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:12 am


Matasoga

You're both right. Whether love is bliss beyond compare or sufferings unimaginable is completely up to circumstance, only some of which are you likely to be in control of. Only singular devotion (in short supply, these days) can overcome circumstance.
It creates an addictive euphoria when you're on it (or in this case, in it) and sufferings similar to withdrawal if is suddenly torn from you. If it were a chemical not naturally created by the brain, it would be illegal, and rightly so. I'd go so far as to say that there's nothing that can make a man or woman more stupid, irrational, or illogical, aside from perhaps religion.
Love is incredibly dangerous. The only thing that makes it less dangerous than religion is that it involves fewer people at once.

Saber Talawyrm

Lil Candy Princess- I agree that love can be incredibly painful or nightmarish sometimes but I don't think it's over-rated. I think every major emotion is a necessary part of life.

Intoxikace- I think being able to truly be yourself around someone without having to hide anything is one of the best things about love. The butterflies are quite nice too. ^_^

Matasoga- I agree, love can make people do incredibly stupid things, things they never would have done otherwise. Though sometimes I think if there is enough between two people that the stupid things you do become not necessarily less stupid but less worrisome in some cases or more easily forgiven in others.

Djana Nana

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:13 am


Lady-Sanctuary

Love... Hmm where to begin!
I've always been a hopeless romantic really, I guess had some belief in something close to "True love" But then the whole thing has always been very confusing for me.


One thing that has always made me angry is people who say "I love you", or particularly "I'm in love with you" when they don't really mean it. If I don't mean it then I won't say it.
I feel that to have a proper true romantic and loving relationship with someone you often will both have to give as much as you get and you need to be willing to sacrifice things.
You need to be able to trust them, not only with your secrets but with yourself. You need to also have the trust that they love you too, that you don't have to second guess everything they do. Just trust them.
Love is when you see them your heart seems to be bigger than it was,
when you hear their voice or get a text or a letter from them it makes you smile like an idiot.
Love is giving yourself up completely to someone else and trusting that they will keep you safe. smilies/icon_heart.gif
Love is having someone who knows you better than anyone else, even yourself sometimes.
Love hurts, but it also heals ^-^
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:14 am


Lady-Sanctuary

*Hugs* I agree with you totally! smilies/icon_smile.gif

Saber Talawyrm


I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic also and I agree with most of what you said but these parts in particular.

Lady-Sanctuary Wrote:

Love is when you see them your heart seems to be bigger than it was,
when you hear their voice or get a text or a letter from them it makes you smile like an idiot.

Love is having someone who knows you better than anyone else, even yourself sometimes.
Love hurts, but it also heals ^-^

Lady-Sanctuary

Those were the bits that were much more personal than theoretical smilies/icon_smile.gif

Saber Talawyrm

Yes, it seems we have quite a lot in common. smilies/icon_3nodding.gif

Lady-Sanctuary

It would seem to be so smilies/icon_3nodding.gif
I think it's really interesting how one person's view of love can be so different to somone else's sometimes smilies/icon_smile.gif

Saber Talawyrm

Yes, it's been interesting reading everyones views here. smilies/icon_3nodding.gif

Lady-Sanctuary

Yeah, I agree. I'm a devil for asking people questions like that though smilies/icon_razz.gif

Saber Talawyrm

Heh, they're so hard to answer sometimes when you're asked on the spot. I don't usually ask people these sorts of questions but I do like hearing their answers. d:

Djana Nana

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:15 am


Sinful Nana

For me, love is about putting another person above yourself. To think that their well-being is more important than your own. Hopefully, the other person will feel similar and put you above their own needs as well, so that no one is neglected. It doesn't always happen.

And again, this is my own personal definition.

Necrofade

for me. Love is where you and your other are willing to work together. Neither expects the other to do everything. Granted both know where each excels and needs help.
It's It's putting up with the stupidity that is others. Cause in the end, it's your love for each other than can withstand the two faceness of so called friends.

Ephynas Puggle

There are a lot of different kinds of love. . .
The people I've loved most have all been in a way that wasn't romantic. I've only had those kinds of feelings towards like two people.

Whether its romantic, friendship, or family, love can change how you act and the way you think.

A parent/child kind of love is a great example of this. There is no love that's quite like a parent's for their child. And vice versa.
While children can be stubborn or difficult at times, small children will still, as a general rule, enjoy pleasing their parents and want to meet their expectations.
And parents often change their way of thinking and such after having children, whether its to be a better parent or soemthing else.
But its all because of love.

True love is romantic.
Though, there are loves just as strong of a different type.
True love is when you're willing to put that person before you.
You can love someone and still put yourself first. True love is when you willingly enjoy putting that person first.
True love can be onesided.

A lot of people say that true love is when the two people are totally in sync and adore each other and would give the world for each other ect . . .

But I think that it is possible for someone to love another person that much without being loved back.
PostPosted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:17 am


kefkadragon

Love isn't really a conecern of mine now. Nobody in my school is really to my standards and single. Plus, I've got a job and soccer to keep up with. My school's boy/girl ratio is about 7:1 and most of the women are so stupid I can't stand them.

Rhapsodius

Love is my life. Though I seem to have quite a bit of bad luck when it comes to it..The fact that I attract the weird and undesirable ones doesn't help either..

Sinful Nana

Love also is about finding someone who enhances you, encourages you to be your best. There's a passage in the bible that says something along the lines of "like iron sharpens iron." A true mate, like a true friend, will make you stronger, not dull the blade of your talents before others.

Djana Nana

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 19, 2012 12:59 pm


Love hurts. It is when you give the weakest part of yourself to another, hoping they won't abuse it but knowing that it is always possible.

It's something many abuse and destroy in others, just for a cheap thrill. Love is something that people continue to foolishly hope for just because they see one couple make it in the thousands of couples that end up failing.

Love can make you feel invincible, elated, like your floating on clouds. But it can also destroy you, making you truly wonder f any of it is worth it in the end.

Love is something many people continue hoping in, despite knowing better.
PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2012 8:27 pm


MoonlitWhiteRose
Love hurts. It is when you give the weakest part of yourself to another, hoping they won't abuse it but knowing that it is always possible.

It's something many abuse and destroy in others, just for a cheap thrill. Love is something that people continue to foolishly hope for just because they see one couple make it in the thousands of couples that end up failing.

Love can make you feel invincible, elated, like your floating on clouds. But it can also destroy you, making you truly wonder f any of it is worth it in the end.

Love is something many people continue hoping in, despite knowing better.

That's a very cynical outlook to have.

To me, yes, Love is giving the smallest, most vulnerable aspect of yourself completely to another person, and yes it is hoping that this person chooses not to abuse it. Personally, I had a less than stellar love life until I met my current boyfriend, but I still believe Love exists and that it should be pursued. I spent two years bouncing back and forth between two men, before deciding it was finally not worth it. I chose my current boyfriend, and a year later we're doing amazing. He doesn't judge me, nor I him, we accept each other's shortcomings, and enjoy each other's company. To me, that is Love: unjudging, accepting, and taking enjoyment from simply being with that person.

Kristabelle015

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