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Posted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:58 am
She was in the kitchen, a place that was becoming a familiar and most comfortable haunt, but Ofelia wasn't in there to bake or cook or do whatever. Instead of calming herself down she was throwing things back and forth, glad no one was around, and as a bag of flour exploded against the wall she could give less of a s**t about who came in and how much they yelled at her. It was easy enough to clean up, it was easy enough to go out and buy more supplies.
It had been a long, long time since Ofelia had last had a temper tantrum, probably about six or seven years. She was old enough to know better and the fact that neither her aunt nor her brother tolerated such actions usually prevented it. Yet they weren't here, she was fuming, and the poor kitchen was taking the brunt of her wrath as well as a kitchen full of sharp objects and other wonderful things could.
The bag of flour was settling as she kicked it with her bare foot, a dusty cloud settling in and covering her tanned skin with a layer of itchy white. She'd need to shower after all this, people may ask questions, but screw all the people. The bag of flour was kicked again, this time sailing out of the kitchen into the hallway.
Ofelia didn't care.
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Posted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:35 pm
You never really knew how much you took some things for granted until they were taken away. For instance, fresh food. Even if it was cafeteria food. It was still real food, and being able to slip into the kitchen and pilfer a few ingredients for a sandwich between mealtimes was overlooked as long as you didn't duck kitchen duty when it was your rotation and didn't take too much. Jordan figured that the gratitude for the little things would wear down back to normal levels after a while, but he was still appreciating it. Or he had been, anyway, until a bag of flour came sailing out of the kitchen door, narrowly missing him to hit the wall nearby, and releasing a massive white cloud that obscured the whole hallway for a few seconds. Jordan hastily covered his mouth and nose with his hand to avoid choking on airborne flour. When it had settled enough, he picked up the bag of flour and stepped cautiously into the kitchen. "You know, flour can actually be explosive under the right conditions," he started, and then stopped as he saw who was in the kitchen, expression going carefully blank.
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 8:16 am
"Really now? Ah'll have ta remember that fer a point in time when it's actually useful ta know sommin' like that." Ofelia's tone was cold, flat, but her words had a sharp edge to them as she looked at the new arrival. For as much as Ofelia adored Jordan, for as much as his company was one of those that she actually sought out the most, his arrival right now was hardly welcome. The Sun trainee hadn't wanted to see anyone, she'd come to the kitchen to be left alone (since meals weren't going to be ready for a while), and to have her personal place of getting pissed off interrupted by one of the people who'd pissed her off was not a good thing.
Her whole body was still covered in the flour, her bright red hair now looking dusted as though she'd been out in the snow or. . . had gotten covered in flour. There were places on her face where she'd managed to wipe it all away, and the glaring empty socket of a missing eye without an eye patch stared back at the unwelcome intruder. "Sommin' Ah can help ya wit', ta getcha on yer way? Yer obviously not here fer mah company, ya got better stuff ta be doin', right? Better places ta go, better people ta see."
She sounded like such a brat, felt like such a brat, but she wasn't going to take back anything she said. If she happened to lose another friend in the process, it was fine. He'd chosen his side the moment he didn't believe her. He'd dug his grave, slowly but surely, the moment he called her a liar without saying any words.
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 10:04 am
It made things easier that she was angry. That he could deal with. "Just came to grab a sandwich," he replied with bright and brittle cheer. "I'll be on my way shortly. No need for you to trouble yourself." You aren't trying to repair things? Ferros asked cautiously. Not a good time. She's angry, she won't listen to me. Jordan hesitated a fraction of a second, slipped into the deeper, silent mode of communication that they shared so he could directly show Ferros the complex, hidden tangle of emotion he felt regarding Ofelia: pity mixed with affection, a protective urge that fought with the irritated wish that she'd learn to take care of herself; a wistful liking all bound up in the deep, sharp hurt she'd inflicted and a simmering anger born out of her refusal to let him remain neutral in this conflict. Not, perhaps, that he could. He was biased. He knew that. But he had tried to keep it separate from his attempts to mediate, and her disbelief was a wrench thrown into a carefully balanced inner system. He hadn't dealt with his own problem yet. How could he address one that involved someone else as well? Ferros rumbled comprehension and worry and affection, coiled his sympathy deep and quiet around his human's mind. Jordan made his way carefully around the edges of the mess towards the big refrigerators. He wasn't going to let Ofelia's presence drive him out; he would get his damn sandwich. That was what he'd come in for.
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 10:41 am
Ofelia moved, as if she was going to let Jordan pass, when she stepped on a bowl that she'd kicked onto the ground earlier. It slid on the flour trail, knocking her leg out from under her, and the teen found herself flailing in the air for a moment before she connected hard with the ground. She was face down, her eyes were swimming with drops of white that turned to flashes, and she groaned.
Inside her head Rue was cackling a million miles an hour, the voice of the boo hag doing no favors to the possibly threat of a headache. She wasn't really hurt, her FEAR shield had seen to that, but the whole effect of it was somewhat humbling and totally deflated the rage she'd been feeling up until that point. Now all she felt was embarrassed as she lay on the ground, the tips of her toes still in the bowl.
Maybe if she stayed still enough Jordan would go away. He seemed to be avoiding her anyway, not that her whole curt words didn't have anything to do with that.Prolixity sorry, i fixed it ;;;;; *wanders off into sunset*
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 11:17 am
The sudden crash and Ofelia's subsequent stillness wiped away some of the resentment and brought the worry back in full force. A tiny, cynical part of Jordan wondered if she'd done that on purpose. The rest of him was occupied with concern. He hurried back to crouch down beside her. "Hey, are you okay? Do you need a hand?"
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 11:27 am
"Nah, Ah'm good. Jus' havin' a talk wit' the floor, seems it wanted ta get ta know me a bit better. Also it felt like listenin' ta me an' stuff." Ofelia sort of waved her hand while still being awkward and laying down, finally giving in and pushing herself upright. Her face was red but not hurt, as Rue had at least done her job of preventing the impact from leaving too much of a mark.
Any more of a mark, Rue hissed, would not be fun. For now.
Shakily, seeing as she didn't want a repeat of the bowl incident, Ofelia got to her feet and dusted herself off, taking care to step out of the object of slipping and kick it into the wall. It shattered and Ofelia winced. She'd have to go and buy a new bowl along with the replacement bag of flour. "Ya should probably get yer sammich an' then get back ta yer . . . ugh.. . what the hell would ya even call 'em? Boyfriends? Companions? Help me out 'ere, Ah dunno the term fer it." The teen tapped her temple as she looked around, pretty much doing everything in her power to avoid eye contact with her fellow Sun hunter.
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 11:37 am
Jordan gritted his teeth and stood. Help and sympathy flatly rejected. He stalked back over towards the refrigerators. "Despite what you might think," he said as he took out sandwich ingredients, "my entire life does not actually revolve around my boyfriends." He stressed the last word slightly. Yes, that was the term. "Obsessive focus on the other persons in a relationship, romantic, friendly, or otherwise, is an unhealthy and damaging mental state."
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 11:45 am
"Hmmm. Well, good ta know. Ah guess it does kinda explain stuff, yer datin'a Rep an' Harrison an' what have ya." Ofelia dusted her knees off. "Explains why when Ah told ya Rep threatened ta kill me, an' then tried ta kill me, ya jus' went on ta defend him an' say he didn' mean it. Ah'd wondered 'bout that, but Ah jus' f'gur'd ya were always nice 'bout everyone. Now Ah know different."
It was weird to finally have the dots connect, to finally make all the sense of it happen. Still there was an unhappiness there, a stinging pain that Jordan was picking sides. It reminded her too much of home before she left, the reason for one of the fights with her brother the night before she left. Was this. . . no, she wasn't going to dwell on it.
You just can't stand to see people happy, or with someone else. You want everyone to be alone with you. Rue's comment screeched in the back of Ofelia's head, the boo hag always glad to add words that didn't need to be said. Ofelia tapped the side of her head.
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:03 pm
Jordan's shoulders stiffened, and he set about putting a sandwich together with exaggerated precision in his movements. "When you refused to tell me what had happened," he replied in clipped tones, "all I had to go on was my personal knowledge of Rep. Given that, what I said about him is what I felt was the most likely explanation for his behavior. It doesn't excuse him being an a*****e, but it does provide some context." He found a plate in one of the cabinets and dropped the sandwich onto it, then took the knife he'd used over to the sink. "Incidentally," he added coolly, "I'd suggest that when someone tells you that they want to be left alone, that you listen."
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:14 pm
"An' there ya go again." Ofelia's words were soft and she looked down at the ground, her feet somewhat shuffling on the flour'd grounds. "Jus' like b'for', jus' like always. No one will believe me, no one will stand' wit' me. It doesn' jus' change, mah judgement's s**t." She shook her head, her gaze not leaving her toes. "Ah dun want an always defender, Ah jus' want someone, fer once in mah life, ta not call me a liar an' say it's all mah fault." Her last sentence was practically a whisper, and she rubbed at her face to get more of the flour off.
Rue's screeching in her head had stopped. Apparently Ofelia's digging of herself into a hole was just fine, the knuckledusters didn't need to add anything to it. Watching her partner self-destruct mentally instead of physically was just as much fun as anything else she could think of at the moment.
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:29 pm
Jordan stilled. His hands folded around the edge of the sink, gripping white-knuckle tight. Ah jus' want someone, fer once in mah life, ta not call me a liar an' say it's all mah fault.Shame and hurt and anger all at once. I don't want to hear you boys telling stories. I'm not raising liars. A constant parade of authority figures, calling truth lies and all the more pleased when fed carefully edited untruths. Psychologists and psychiatrists and learning to pretend to take pills and flush them down the toilet later. He hadn't been there. How could he say who was the liar? How could he believe Ofelia's assertion when his knowledge of the man he loved said otherwise? What she perceived would remain the same. She saw his belief that she was mistaken as a deliberate contradiction of her. "Does it have to be one or the other? There's no room for mistakes?" He couldn't keep his face blank and his voice even at the same time; he stayed turned away from her.
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:37 pm
"There's room fer both, but sometimes ya gotta lean ta a side ya've never taken b'for'. Ah'm not sayin' ya always gotta take mah side, or always gotta take Rep's side, but . . . .the way ya jump'd in an' took me down, not even askin' how he'd acted or tryin' ta see how he acted. . . jus'.. . . " Ofelia trailed off. Aside from being called a liar, aside from many other things, she hated having to defend herself. As far as Ofelia was always concerned she was in the right, her actions never needed to be corrected.
She'd apologize, but she never meant it. She'd take the blame, but she never honestly felt like she deserved that treatment. Lately at Deus all she did was say sorry and it was turning into a bitter pill in the base of her stomach and the back of her throat. It was burning, she hated it, and Ofelia just sighed deeply and placed her hand on her face. It wasn't to brush off more flour, it was to prevent herself from being seen in case she started to cry.
"Never mind, ferget it. It's wrong'a me ta be makin' ya defend yer boyfriend, it's only natural ya'd do it. Jus' like people step in fer their kids or spouses or whatever. Ya dun really know me an' Ah'm jus' someone wit'a death wish."Prolixity . . . i am so sorry she's so emo omg . ____ .
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 12:50 pm
The anger flared again. "I asked you," Jordan said. "I asked you what happened, and you refused to tell me. How am I supposed to make a call on a specific incident when all I have to work with is general knowledge?" He turned to stare at her, the corners of his mouth pulling down slightly. "You're right, it's only natural that I'd defend someone I love given no details to prove me wrong. It's a judgment call, all on perception. I don't think you lied. I believe that that's what you perceived and that's what you thought. Think. Lying implies an intent to deceive." Rown all the delicious conflict~
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Posted: Fri Jun 08, 2012 1:01 pm
"He told me not ta tell anyway he was gay. Ah mean hearin' that yer together now totally makes that a moot point, but Ah had promised Ah wouldn' tell, even if he said no one would believe me. Wouldja have believed me then, if Ah'd said that Ah told Rep he was self-hatin', an' he shouldn' really live that way? That Ah jus' wanted him ta be happy, an' then he pulled a weapon on me an' if Killzone an' a table had been there he would'a hit me? What now, huh? Ah could tell ya everything now but yer wit' him, it doesn' change anythin'. It wouldn' change anythin' then either, or so it seems. He's already nearly killed me once, Ah was too stupid ta leave him alone when he looked sad, an' as a result'a me tryin' to get ta know him better Ah get threatened an' hated."
She hated this, she hated herself and she hated Jordan. She hated the sound of Rue cackling happily in her skull, the boo hag's voice a grating scream against her nerves and thoughts. Her other hand, the one not on her face, moved to the massive still-fresh scar that decorated her chest. It was pink compared to the rest of her tan skin, and her fingers dug into it.
There are sharp objects in here, you know. Ofelia ignored it all.
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