Rashida & Azrael:
Azrael felt helpless. He was useless, of that he was sure. He couldn't begin to understand why he had thought his boys could find their way back on their own.. Or how he could have thought that they would be old enough to actually.. do as they were told and not get into trouble. His heart ached, despite what he showed on the outside. Azrael was more misunderstood than he was cold. He was cautious, and closed, but it was to keep hurt from being able to worm its way through his body.
But this hurt.. This hurt he didn't understand.
Rashida had a strong face, her features unreadable as to her pain. She was doing what she had to do to survive. Her heart broke, the ache in her body at the loss of her children was enough to want herself to dive off a cliff and stay that way. But.. she knew better than that. Her babies needed her. Castiel was more torn up about it than the other babies, but.. Cas was sensitive. He was special..
She was trying to sleep, lying on her side and twitching here and there. Sleep was impossible, and she was merely waiting for her mate to return.
Castiel Ansoomse:
Cas sat huddled in the entrance of the den, hunched in his pelt, one paw absently touching his clasp every few moments. He hoped, prayed to any god that would listen that his father would bring his brothers back, but he knew deep in his heart that the only way he would get his brothers back would be if he was the one to get them back. He was older, he was the big brother, he should have watched out for them, should have... Had there been anything he could have done, really? He had Samm and Dene and Sae and Ani, four little siblings and just one of him. He had thought Dene was smart enough to watch over Samm. Ani and Sae, he'd also trusted them to be able to take care of themselves, too.
But they hadn't been able to, Samm and Dene were gone, lost. They weren't dead, he was sure of it. But they weren't at home and they weren't coming back.
He looked over his shoulder at his mom, lying there in the den with Sae and Ani. His ears flicked back and he turned his attention back to the outside world, waiting for his father to come back empty-pawed.
Rashida & Azrael:
He saw the cub sitting at the entrance of the den before he saw anyone else. Azrael's heart dropped and he took a deep breath. How could he face Castiel now? Hell, how could he face any of his family after what he had done. He had to remind himself that he hadn't killed the boys, he had merely not watched them. But that could have been the death of them. He took another deep breath and continued advancing. His eyes avoided Castiels, but he walked past him with a pat on the head. How he wanted to bring his son to his chest. But he could feel the burning dislike that Cas had deep in his belly. That would be a rejection Azrael couldn't face at the moment.
At the sound of the approaching lion, her ears flicked, and she almost lept tot he front of the den. Her heart pounding in her chest like a captured rabbit the females soft blue eyes stared out around her. She was at Castiels side, and when Azrael returned alone, Rashida's heart broke into two pieces and her tears fell from her eyes.
"Oh no.." She breathed.
Castiel Ansoomse:
Castiel couldn't look at his father either, but felt the pat on his head.
"I didn't stop it, it's my fault," he said with a small shake of his head. Somehow he had known his dream wasn't just a dream. But he'd ignored it. Dene had convinced him it wasn't real, that nothing bad would happen.
He wasn't angry anymore, at least not at his father. He was more angry at himself for failing to protect his brothers. He wouldn't let it happen again. He didn't hate his father, but at the same time he most certainly did not trust him with the safety of his other brother and sister.
Rashida & Azrael:
Azrael leaned down after hearing those soft words. His eyes were sad, but firm as always. "You did not do this. Do you hear me boy? You did nothing to cause this." As much as he would have liked his guilt to be on someone else he would not be okay with it being his children..or his mate.
"I failed to protect them." He sat back up, looking at Rashida. "I'm sorry.. I tried, I looked everywhere." In fact he had not even found their scent after awhile. He had caught it, but after a while it had been linked to another scent, and then that scent covered it entirely. He frowned, leaning in to nuzzle into Rashida's neck.
"You're sorry? Azrael you should have watched them. Being lazy is not the way to parent, and look where it has gotten us! If you wanted nothing to do with it, you should have told me and I'd have taken them with me." Her voice was loud, hurt, and above all..guilty. But taking a deep breath, she gulped.
"Im sorry, Az.. You didn't mean for it to happen." She said in between sobs. Her sad eyes looked down at Cas, whom she nuzzled into his neck.
"My sweet, sweet baby."
Castiel Ansoomse:
He cuddled up to his parents, more to his mother than his father. He looked up at his mother and shook his head.
"But I knew... Mama, why didn't I believe that I knew?" he asked, his ears as far down as they could ever go. He looked down and touched the wing on his chest. It was like his father's, gold. Like Dene and Samm's. Would he ever see them again? It was all his fault. He should have known that his father couldn't keep track of them, he should have known his dream was real, like the visions he got sometimes.
At least... now he knew that he could change things. Nothing was set. He wouldn't jump, wouldn't leave Ani and Sae alone. They needed him. Samm and Dene... he wasn't big enough, wasn't strong enough to rescue them. Maybe someday, but not now.
Rashida & Azrael:
Rashida shh'ed her cub as if she was soothing a baby. Her features were soft, loving as she stared down at Castiel. Her babies would always be her babies even if they were old and gray. They were her babies.
Azrael sighed, leaning in to nuzzle Rashida once more. Just begging his guilt, his pain, to all be taken away. Short of death, he knew it wouldnt happen. They had to be out there somewhere. But then his eyebrow arched.
"How.. How did you know, Cas?" He asked, voice stern as always but it had a tinge of something else. Possibly curiosity
Castiel Ansoomse:
Cas looked from his mother to his father, then back to the ground, leaning against his mother's strong body. She would always be strong to him, the things she did... She had to be.
"I had a dream. They were playing and they disappeared. You were there, you could have stopped it but you didn't. Maybe you couldn't, I donno. They were calling to me, Ani told me not to go after them, but I went anyways and then I woke up and Dene was there, but I can't, I'm not big enough," he replied with a shake of his head. He was too little.
Rashida & Azrael:
The way his son spoke, Azrael arched a brow in surprise. Had he really seen this happen? He didn't inform the boy that had he paid much attention he might have been able to prevent it. But then again he knew the cub likely knew that already.
"You.. you saw it?" He asked, wondering if he.. If he had the curse. He looked at Rashida, who smiled a bit with a nod. Her face still sad, she had to be there for Castiel. It was hard to be a seer, or so she had heard.
"Yes. He has been given the gift. He feels them.. He feels that they are alive." She said, her words holding that tinge of hope.
"We will find them Cas. You will be big someday, but we will find them before that. I will not give up." Azrael said with a nod, ebony mane falling into his eyes.
Castiel Ansoomse:
His father didn't look too happy about what he had said. He wasn't sure why, was this something that not many had, that one wasn't supposed to have? Well, that didn't matter, he had it and it wasn't going away. He would still see things seconds before they happened or have dreams sometimes that unsettled him.
"I don't know if it's this... thing or not. But... I know, they can't be gone forever, they just can't be," he replied with a firm shake of his head.
Rashida & Azrael:
Rashida clung to that little bit of hope, praying her baby did indeed have the gift. She half wondered if this was all fate. After all, what were the odds two babies would dissappear and the third would be able to know they were okay? It was a pleasant feeling, but.. Then again nothing else was very uplifting at the moment.
"They have to be okay. They are strong, after all. Strong like their father, and smart like their mother." She smiled weakly, trying hard not to show sadness.. But failling.
Azrael sighed. He was obviously not as strong as he'd like to be. That much he was sure of. If he had been strong, he wouldn't have been so stupid. But then again, who said you needed brains with brawn?
