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Heidla was feeling nostalgic (again!) Since when it has become her favourite mood, she wondered. It was quite an ill-suited one, anyway. It both blocked her ability to rise up to the occasion and made her weak and sweet - both qualities she hated. But it was so easy to fall under the spell of being weak here, to let someone decide and care for you - if she could only find someone to care for her. Despite the sad setting of her thoughts, she couldn't help grinning. It would have been a curious experiment to imagine someone who could actually care for her - who was brave enough to offer her care! There she was, a little heartache, a little pain in the a**, at least that's what she always meant to be.

And then, there was no-one else. The priestess was walking around the new premises Clansmen of all the four clans tried to build in reminiscence of their former glory, and feeling useless. It would have been nice if she could help, but she was in no helping mood, and that irritated her. Why couldn't they see that it was all irrevocably lost, it would never be the same, they would never fit? They were, after all, quite a mismatched crowd, - originally different Clans could not mix well, that was a funny idea, they were too self-absorbed to match, to fuse in! Now, brought all together in a closed space they had to construct a new future together - and Heidla still was not sure whether it was a good idea after all. She was wary about the Famine and the War; and as much as she tolerated the Conquest, there was still a touch of unease whenever she tried to break the ice. She desperately wanted to get back - to see her clansmen - her fellow priestesses, after all! True, she must admit, they had their moments of envy and rivalry, but now it all seemed so petty and insignificant. Shared sense of loss and misery brought them together closer than ever, and now she longed for a comprehending smile of one of her trance companions.

Wait... could it be that she saw Erintis? She waived her hand hesitatingly.

Heidla smiled and joined the other priestess. It was warm to be with someone with whom you shared your past - more than your past, your pride and hope and wisdom and way of life! She never realized it before, but their sisterhood meant a lot to her; at least they could understand each other without haunting pauses, as with other clansmen, or awkward miscommunications, as with other horsemen, or distrust and wariness as with Halloweeners.

"I have been stuck in my turret", she hastened to explained her disappearance upon arrival to Amityville and general unwillingness to take part in the life of the new community. "Too many visions, and I seem to have collapsed of exhaustion".

She blushed a bit. That was not exactly true. She didn't have too many visions, and she wasn't exhausted, just.... washed out. Washed out of her will to live and fight, and of her moods as well. She hoped Erintis would understand her. Priestess shared the same sensibility about their trance - so Heidla hoped that at least this helplessness of hers, this inadequacy, inability to adapt - was a common thing among her kind. They have always been pillars of the Death society - strong enough to guide and to fight, but now, robbed of their former duties and rituals, they must understand her feeling of loneliness and despair.

Heidla paused for a moment, then continued: "So.... how has it been going... here?"

Guardian? Heidla shuddered. She banned those thoughts from her mind. Not that they were exactly on good terms, but he was a faithful creature... as it was his duty, of course (a splash of Heidla of the Death Isle, proud and impetuous, rose up, but was subdued)... as he never found her here, it seems that he was... no more.

She smiled ruefully. "Don't ask me about it. I have not been looking for him, and he... he never found me, so I guess...", she tailed off in a faint hope that Erintis would not press for details. "Let's go. I like it spending time by the water, it reminds me of the old days. Shall I help you? What are you carrying?"

"Alpacas!" Heidla smirked. "The small ones are so fluffy, they look like little seals - and you know how particular I feel about them... I wonder what the headpriestess has about her alpacas... "

"Like, you know, I do believe that eventually the seals will help us to regain our memories - do the alpacas have a special place in Medea's plans? If they do, I would like to know what it us.... Now, with us having lost so many things, every bit of information is important, don't you think so?... I haven't done much yet, so I skipped the alpaca quest - hope it won't bring me into disgrace, - have you found it?... Alpacas, heh..."

She actually didn't remember whether Erintis cared about any pet in particular, but as it was not so uncommon among the priestesses, she just asked bluntly. "And have you found any new useful pets here?"

Then a thought occurred to her, "Have you met other clans, now? We haven't known much about them - not that I really wanted to, really! I have always thought other clans are annoying - but I guess now, I can't afford thinking so anymore. We need them, don't we? Too few of us left to do it on our own. Now, have you seen them[/i]" she emphasized the "them" part trying to show that she was in no particular liking of other clans.

"Are they useful? Sorry to pour out all those questions on you, but I'm really.... I mean, I feel I missed out so much by having withdrawn from life! But I felt so... so miserable", she signed.

Heidla smiled, "The other day I was all but attacked by a Famine Clanswoman who demanded that I should find water for her. Have they ever seen a priestess before? Do they really think that we have sunk that low? Our lives are spent in silent studies, and our help is that of spiritual kind" she pouted.

"I have never in my life done anything practical", she smiled bitterly. "Next time they would ask me to cook dinner for their whole community. It is so irritating! They show neither respect nor comprehension. Good there was one of the jewelcrafters who went instead", she felt uneasy about admitting that actually she felt so lonely that went with him.

Loneliness..... was there any way out from it now? Would they ever be able to be the way they were? They walked in silence for a while, as it seemed that it was easier to communicate in silence. There were some things that words just could not enclose - that feeling of loss. Then Heidla continued, "Have you seen the head priestess recently? What would she say about it, I wonder? Guess she does not know we get treated like some low-class servants by other Clans.... Probably, she's too busy", the priestess signed. "Do you think they will finally manage to get separate accommodation for different clans? Or is it - just another thing from the past?"

"As for the wells, there is something I wanted to share with you. The ornament on the one I found reminded me of one pattern I found in one of our old books. Dragons and trees; is there something familiar in it for you? To be precise, it looks like the dragon is eating the roots of the tree - and I am almost sure there was a legend I read once; the story is sooo familiar", Heidla frowned. " I asked one of our jewelcrafters to copy the pattern for me, but you know it might take time, as we're all busy now...."

"I was also thinking about a new library - don't we need a new space to keep all our logs and calculate fear and stuff... Also, I learn so many new things here everyday!" her face brightened. "It is so different from what we had back home!"

Could it be that her voice seemed enthusiastic? That she actually enjoyed meeting new people and cataloguing them, that for her, personally, this field study experience that Amityville turned out to be, was both useful and changing her into a better person? She wouldn't think about it, it was far easier to sulk over the past, but there was something new in her, some new eagerness manifested in the way she hastened to share her discoveries. "Do you think anyone mentioned a new library already? I guess, most of the priestesses should be up for it.... I imagine we could build something spikey, same way as we had back home", she smiled. "You remember all those spires? Have you seen anything similar here, in Amityville?... and about other clans.... aren't you at a loss how to interact with them? After all, they are different from the way they were described in books.... don't you think so?"

"Your books?" now Heidla was curious. "Have you managed to save anything? I have several scraps, and my own research and writings, and that's about all. Were you luckier in getting some of the manuscripts sneaked here?... I wonder if other priestesses have something left. Or if other clans, say the Conquest nobles, managed to save some of their manuscripts."

The priestesses were grown in the world where the written word was deemed to be the most important treasure, so the lack of books was having a deep impact on them. "Do you know if they have libraries here, in Amityville? They have the Academy, they should read something!"

"And you, have you spotted anything interesting? Anything worth of entering our lists? I have spoken to some of the creatures here - and I must admit they are far more.... developed than I expected them to be..." , then, seeing that the other was preoccupied with washing, she hastened to add: "Should I help you?" and added silently: knowing how bad at menial tasks I am.