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 Posted: Wed May 30, 2012 3:37 pm
Wesker
Basics ::
xxxxxName: Wesker
xxxxxNickname(s):
xxxxxFaction: Clubs
xxxxxAge: Unknown
xxxxxHeight: 7'
xxxxxBody Type: Somewhat muscular
xxxxxBlood Type: AB-
Poké-basics ::
xxxxxPokemon: Snorlax
xxxxxPokemon type: Normal
xxxxxNatural Ability: Thick fat
xxxxxPerma: No
xxxxxMoveset:
Psychic
Thunder
Flamethrower
Strength
Personality ::
Positive
Gentle - He's generally not gonna be moving about or active, unless you take his food or wake him up. The gentle side of things comes to pass when he is giving someone a massage; he only really applies extra force if asked, never using any of his strength unless absolutely needed. Outside of his job lets say there's an argument going on or some sort of confrontation; He's either going to attempt to defuse it by being some sort of mediator or convince the two parties that all they need to do is take a deep breath, relax and take a break.(Hmm....This one might give me more trouble than I wanted, so I may or may not change it.)
Alert - Despite being a narcoleptic, he tries to always attempt to prevent himself and anyone else getting hurt whenever he might end up passing out without his own knowledge. Also when he is asleep he tends to be able to listen and remember most things, and even has a habit of responding to something someone says while asleep as if he were conscious.
Neutral
Ambitious - Wesker has the dream to become one of; if not THE best Masseur in all of wonderland, Even his narcolepsy won't stop him from trying to achieve this wonderful dream he has of providing and spreading relaxation to all of the inhabitants of this wonderful world. On the other hand this abition has made the snorlax a few enemies of other masseurs and masseuse's. As well as stealing customers from some other people who offer relaxation services.
Negative
Stressed - His narcolepsy makes it a challenge on all fields, whether it be personal, social or business. The illness makes all of it quite the challenge. Socially he really doesn't like to start anything serious with too many people since there is a high chance he might end up passing out during it or onto the poor person, it's much the same with his business as well, though he tends to lose money more than any friends, which hurts his goals. This also causes him to become quite depressed; especially if he ruins a clients time of relaxation and a good time. It can sometime get bad enough to the point where he even stops eating for quite a while.
Awkward - He's pretty dangerous when he ends up passing out, especially when in the middle of doing something, even every day things might cause chaos and mayhem. Socially and in contact with others he tends to avoid all eye contact and sometimes says the wrong thing and might be a tad...blunt at the wrong time, making things quite awkward.
xxxxxStrengths: Sleeping, moving heavy objects, being a glutton, talking in his sleep.
xxxxxWeaknesses: Being awake(Due to narcolepsy.), trying to socialize; he always makes things awkward with some comment or another, clumsy
xxxxxLikes: Fire, food, warmth, contact, sleep
xxxxxDislikes: Ice/snow, ghosts, tricks
xxxxxFavourite Food: All foods
xxxxxHobbies: Sleeping, Reading, Eating, giving massages
xxxxxInterests: Horticulture, Fishing, massage, a little cooking
xxxxxFaction Opinion: He loves the amount of technology the clubs have to offer, not to mention all the available chemicals to create his own massage oils, and other items for his profession.
xxxxxAspirations: To become the greatest Masseur in all of wonderland, maybe find some sort of chemical combination to help combat his narcolepsy.
xxxxxFears: Falling asleep forever/death
Employment::
xxxxxTitle: Masseur in training
xxxxxJob: Masseur
Appearance::
xxxxxHair: Short, platinum blonde hair.
xxxxxEyes: Red-orange
xxxxxSkin tone: Dark tan
xxxxxPalette: Blackish blue, ten, violet and orange
xxxxxClothing: Steampunk theme.
Upper body clothing - A thick blackish-blue leather garment that looks like a snorlax's upper body with a hood and paw-like sleeves.(The end of the sleeves are like a paw on a snorlax(Though the palms are much much softer due to his profession, and they are fingerless so his fingers can poke through.) A Lax incense is usually found tied to some sort of string or small chain like a necklace about his neck.
Some of the vital spots on his upper garment are padded to prevent injury to himself and some others.(Like the stomach and chest area.)
Lower body - He's got a pair of cargo jeans it seems, also padded like his upper clothing. The pockets generally filled with some sort of long lasting snack and massage oils.
Accesories - A rather large pack to hold his tent, massage supplies and a foldable table he can store in it too! As well as a decent sized pack for foods and more gentle items not suitable for his main pack.
xxxxxAdditional: He's got what seems to be some sort of blast scar in the middle of his eyes, it spreads around his eyes almost like the mask of a super hero.(A result of an incident in childhood, shortly after his narcolepsy surfaced.)
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Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 2:10 am
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Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 12:13 pm
Okay, heyo! Gonna work from top to bottom, so you can run down it with me.
First off, I think we've all established that this is a really funny idea xD
Coming up with an interesting idea for a character is, to be honest, half the battle with questing.
Calm & Gentle : Now, one of my big things about doing personality traits is trying to pick one word for it and focusing on it. In this case, you're focused on Gentle, so why not throw out calm and focus on the gentle aspect of his personality? You'd be able to incorporate him being calm if you like, it would just take a little bit of development.
At the same time, I think this trait could use some development in general! As it stands, you only really talk about how his gentle nature applies to his job, and you might want to try including how his gentle nature applies to his life outside of his job!
Alert : I think this is a nice trait, and fits well with everything else. That said, I want to discuss what you've described as his ability to “listen and remember most things.” What you've described does sometimes happen with narcoleptics, but only during the REM phase of sleep, and it's otherwise very difficult to remain aware whilst sleeping, because with sleep comes the loss of consciousness and, by extension, awareness. I say this because I want to tell you about the physical limitations of such a condition, in case you want to change it. You might even say that Wesker is a fairly poor sleeper, and wakes up rather easy, which would make sense.
Also, something I want you to keep in mind is the effort and strain that might go into staying this alert all the time, because I feel like it would have a definite effect on the body! I'll get back to this later.
Ambitious : Now, you've written this as a positive trait. The point of the neutral trait is to describe a facet of his personality that can either positive OR negative. Ambition is a good trait for neutrality, because it has its obvious benefits, but drawbacks, as well. Maybe you might think on how his ambition could get him in trouble? Rivals, maybe?
Narcoleptic : You're right, because this isn't so much a personality trait. It's a neurological disorder, which brings it into the realm of physical weaknesses, which the quest form has a neat little section for! You've already used it, so I suggest parking it there.
Now, that leaves this slot open for another negative trait. Not to worry! I left that thought hanging a moment before, because I want to pick it up now. You may want to consider making Stressed the trait that goes here, because it would make absolute sense with the character you've been explaining so far.
Clumsy : Now, this trait fits too, and I think it does pretty well! That said, it doesn't tell me much about Wesker's personality! How does it affect him as a person? How does it shape his reactions with others, his occupation, and his everyday life? Think about how you might expand this to explain a little more.
Okay, that's all for now! I'll see you next time you're ready for a crit!
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Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 12:27 pm
OK thanks for the response, and the help!
I totally wasn't sure which to use with the first trait(and forgot that there was a physical weakness spot as well, haha.
I actually thought a bit more about the alertness, and since snorlax learns rest and sleep talk that it might be able to play a bit into that...though might be more viable if those were some of his 'moves' I guess.
*gets back to work now.*
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Posted: Thu Jun 28, 2012 1:24 pm
I think I am ready for crit #2 O UO, Kept alertness the same to see your opinion on what I mentioned before I changed it.
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Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 8:45 pm
Hey hey heyo! TIME FOR MORE CRITS
So we're definitely making some progress! And progress in the right direction, to boot, that's the best kind of progress, you know.
Gentle – I'm glad you took what I said about talking about his life outside the job and expanded, but... Unfortunately, you've written the second half of the trait as if it were Lax, not Gentle, haha. Lax and gentle aren't quite the same thing, though they can go together, but I don't think lax would do very well given his alertness. So let's try to think of how Wesker might be gentle outside the workplace, maybe he's soft-spoken? You say he doesn't start arguments, maybe he tries to talk confrontation down gently? Think about it.
Alert – I actually understand what you're saying, and I'm totally sorry I tried to force my own sense of reality onto your quest xD I think this can stand as it is.
Ambitious – I actually had doubts that this would ever turn out completely workable in the end, but you've gone and proved me wrong. You've definitely riffed on this and it's looking a lot better.
Stressed – Now, I think this is a good trait, a very real depiction of how someone with narcolepsy might deal with his illness. If you think it needs more work, we can definitely work on it further, but don't sell yourself short, this isn't bad at all. It's nice and developed, encompasses plenty of his life, gives explanations... it's how I might write a trait.
Clumsy – The more I look at this, the more I think that it's a good trait, but clumsy isn't the right word. Clumsy might be something you put into the weaknesses, and change the name of this trait to awkward, because it's how you've written the trait. What say you?
That's all for now! Again, you're making wonderful progress, and I'll talk to you again when you're done editing, or if you have any questions.
Ta-ta <3
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Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2012 11:07 pm
Changed a few things, edited what needed to be edited! I think I am ready for another! D: I've also added a few more interests and a bunch of other little things below the personality.
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 12:51 pm
Gentle - This trait is rather jumbled at the moment. It has more than one trait, some of which are unrelated to him being gentle. Perhaps him giving gentle massages could just be a skill? Other than that, until this has more focus to it, I can't offer much more advice.
Alert - I checked through numerous science websites and also checked to see if this is a trait of Snorlax (it's not). This is not physically possible, at all, as the brain specifically does not process most information when you are asleep, let alone retain it. Also, I saw the notes about Sleep talk, and it uses random moves, so there's no real cognitive thought going into that move.
Ambitious - This isn't a neutral trait in almost every case. If he's an Ambitious cut-throat, it immediately becomes negative, and if he just accidentally steals customers and doesn't realize that he's being competition, it can only be seen as positive.
Stressed - Stressed isn't really a trait, just a state of being, though perhaps fretful? Does he focus too much on his condition? All that I'm seeing from this is a legitimate concern that exists only because of the Narcolepsy, not an actual characteristic of him as a person.
Awkward - This is a very jumbled trait. Also, the only part related to his personality, him being blunt or avoiding eye contact at times, don't really relate to awkward at all.
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