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 Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 7:38 pm
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Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 7:53 pm
Time had passed painfully, but all in all Samandiriel wouldn't have been able to tell exactly how long he had wandered blindly after this godsend of a companion. Looking up ahead at the rump that he had rested up against for many nights lately, Dir decided to ask. Quickening his pace for a few steps to catch up, he nuzzled her flank as he caught up to Aella: the survivor. Without looking at her, he asked quietly but calmly, "How long? How long has it been, now?"
She had found him when he was at his lowest and helped him lift his head once more, which in itself seemed like a mighty task. She had been there to console him, and to impart wisdom that would have taken him years, at least, to learn. Most of this time had been passed in a blur for him. A lot of stumbling and falling to his knees, and an ocean of tears, all common-place. She had found him well and broken, and had had the heart and strength to help pull him back together. He would never have a way of repaying his debt to her.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Wed May 23, 2012 8:43 pm
Aella slowed down and finally paused as she looked back at Dir. She'd become fond of him--a friend, almost like a son in a way. She'd not been used to having companionship--someone to share her voice or thoughts with. She was used to being alone. He had helped her just as much as she had helped him.
She pushed the hair out of her face, "A few weeks. Six I think. The moon is at it's quarter, I think." She looked into the vibrant blue sky which was still holding heat as the sun began to go down. She turned back to him, assessing how thin he looked--but better than a week after she had joined him. He'd looked near death, as if he was merely waiting for it's embrace. She remembered what sorrow like that felt like. She knew how crippling it was when she had no one to help her, so she had taken him with her.
"But you're doing well, it gets a little easier everyday, doesn't it?" Her eyes shone brightly as she looked at him proudly.
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Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 7:45 pm
He stopped at her side when she paused, and took the reply to heart. She was easing him back into life one step at a time, and he would be ever grateful for her help. Six weeks now... seemed about right, now that it was mentioned. A sharp nod and he raised his eyes back upto hers to catch her bright look. What was it that she had seen in him? He had been so far past respect that it was laughable, but she had persisted. But thanks to her he was beginning to learn to breathe again. To live, to move on, all as difficult as the last, but he was progressing now. He was on a path and he was moving forward, one foot in front of the other.
Picking up his hooves he eased back into a steady walk. He was never really leading, but there wasn't a specific place the pair had been heading either. He was no leader, but every so often he drew out in front of Aella and picked left or right. It seemed to be happening more as of late, perhaps having to do with him beginning to recognize his surroundings once more.
Nothing here was familiar, but there were trees and flowers now, instead of one big mix of dreary grey shadows. He was breathing, and he was beginning to see the world again, experience it and live along side it. What happened would never leave him, but she was right, it was becoming a little easier to cope with it every day. "One foot in front of the other," a small set of nods accompanied by, "Every day is a little more manageable." Only a little, but he didn't need to speak the pessimistic view aloud, as he knew it would not help. He knew he needed to stay positive and keep moving so that things would keep getting better. It was hard, but with her aide, he had learned he had to keep going.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 9:25 pm
Aella watched him repeat the mantra over and over again that she had taught him. It was easier to move on and keep breathing if one kept repeating the process verbally daily. First you had to do the awkward motions and keep it up even though it doesn't mean anything. Then one day, it would start to have meaning again.
Patterns were what saved you. They kept you focused, kept your mind from wandering into familiar yet tormenting paths. It helped you to be on auto-pilot for awhile, until it didn't hurt quite so bad to feel again. Then it was like waking up after a long nightmare.
"You are doing very well, soon you'll be able to go on your own if you like," she paused a moment. "You can stay with me as long as you like, you'll always be welcome."
She watched him step further ahead, seemingly leaded. "Is there somewhere you'd like to go?" Tilting her face up to the sun, she closed her eyes.
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Posted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 4:58 pm
Her encouragement and support really meant the world to him, but it never hurt to hear it aloud. Made him feel warm and secure that she would always see a friend in him. He couldn't ask for more. No words came to mind that would suffice as a reply to her ever-invitation, so he stayed silent and just offered a small nod.
A slight falter in his step, he had to pause a moment to consider what Aella asked. Was there somewhere he was headed in particular? Taking a glance around he couldn't say that this area told him about any place he wanted to go. Granted, he had grown up in a herd that had it's own territory which he never left, well not really anyway. Sure a few good running strides, but that was it. So in truth all of the outside world was new to him, unknown. But something just hit him. "It's not intimidating anymore." Flicking his ears he repeated it, more to himself than anything, "It's not intimidating anymore... I think..." Eyes lighting up he continued a little louder, for the purpose of sharing this time.
"I think the world isn't scary anymore. It's big and unknown... but I'm not scared of it anymore." Back to the point of the question, "I don't know of any places out here, so... no, I don't have anywhere in mind. I just... want to keep going. I think when I see it, I'll know it's where I want to be." Nodding to himself, that seemed to make the most sense to him. He would find his place in this world in time.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 1:55 am
The world was terrifying--a very terrifying place and that would never change. What did change was that the fact that you stopped being scared of the world. Sure you could worry about things, continue to worry--but you couldn't really do anything about it. It was hard not to worry--but it didn't help. It was better to just finally give up if you could.
She smiled at him, "Good." It had been nice not to be lonely anymore--to have a friend. Even though he wasn't that much younger than her, he felt almost like a son. Hadn't she in some degree raised him/helped him enough to warrant those feelings? Or maybe she was just the motherly type. He'd come so far though in such a short time. She was proud of him.
"It took me longer, but I didn't have anyone to help me Dir. And you're right, you'll know your place when you find it--until then you just search and help others along the way."
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Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 2:49 am
'--you'll know your place when you find it--until then you just search and help others along the way.'
Nodding, Dir found himself agreeing to a lot of what Aella shared with him. Not always right away, but as he spent more time with her, and keeping an open mind, he didn't find much conflict in her company. She was calm, collected and understanding. What more could a recovering emotional wreck ask for? Nothing.
It was time for him to speak his mind, while he was divulging his emotions. "I'm glad you stopped to help me, Aella. I couldn't ask for a better friend." Throwing his mane over his shoulder he looked back at her, a grateful smile playing his features. "There aren't words for all you've done for me. All I can really say is, once again... Thank you." Warmth spilled over his words even as he spoke them.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 3:24 am
Aella listened to him as he nodded and then thanked her. He was much happier than she'd ever seen him. He had been so angry and so tortured--he'd come so far in such a relatively short time. It was nice to see him come so far when it had really taken her so much longer--a fact that she was not really that proud of.
"Dir," she spoke gently. She wanted him to know and understand something. "It's really...I'm glad I've helped you, but really you've helped me as much maybe even more. I may have looked put together but I wasn't. I was struggling when I met you. You helped give me focus. So I should be thanking you too."
She smiled, her eyes watering slightly, "It's what friends do though right? We help each other through good times and bad. Maybe it's time for the good now right? It's our time to find our place, our home--maybe even families, or just others to help."
Turning her eyes to the sun, she kept walking. This was it. Standing on the precipice of a new life. She sighed, she was ready--they were both ready.
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