So, um. Don't kill me for being excruciatingly inactive and disappearing from Gaia entirely for months on end only to come back and ask for advice. I've been through hell the past few months... if not the past year or so. I wont go into detail, but my current problem is.. well -- depression.

Surprise!

But my mother has noticed it and is going to place me into therapy. Tomorrow we'll be heading over to the offices to file paperwork. I've never been in therapy.

However I feel as though my depression has spawned from being indoors all the time. Now, if any of you remember how I was last I was active in the guild -- you should know that I loved staying indoors and not going outside frequently. At this point in my life I want nothing more than to go socialize and make friends with people.

I realize that if I stay inside all the time, I wont get anywhere. Like... ah ha, that sentence sounded badly formed, but you get what I mean hopefully. As of the moment I'm looking for a job, to hopefully get out of the house and to help my mother pay bills. My step dad finally got a job and is going back to school soon. Things are looking great.

As for me. Well.

I'm failing school. Mom threatened to sign me out of school and force me to get my GED. Well, gee mom that's just great. The thing is, is that I'm home schooled. So again that adds to I'm stuck inside all day.

The whole "shutting myself in my room all the time" has literally put me at an awkward social stand put. I shake nervously, and look around all paranoid when I'm outside the home. I also cannot and refuse to look at someone in the eye anymore. It's almost as if I have no confidence in myself to be out in public.

To be quite frank the internet is depressing me but it's the only alternative I have to social contact.



P.S. This is "Mini o 3o"
I.. am not entirely sure if anyone remembers me.
So I will apologize for my absence here,
and hope no one is upset with me.