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 Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 9:41 am
Kalanu was walking rather slowly to where she and Poa had agreed to meet next. She could see where the meeting spot now so she wasn't in as much of a rush- and Sesere, who was flying high above her now, had finally left her alone. Glancing up to the sky, she couldn't help but roll her eyes a little bit. Sesere rarely ever followed her to visit Poa, of course she was following today though. Stupid bird.
When she reached her destination, she sat down to wait for Poa to arrive with a sigh. She was clearly tired.
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 9:47 am
He moved silently along to the meeting point, his motions fluid and graceful despite the heavy mane that framed his face. His tail waved slowly from side to side as he went, his ears darting about his head; ever alert for signs of trouble. The unending peace in the lands had not made him lax to the potential for it to arrive. He'd never forgive himself if he let his guard down and allowed danger to pass him by. His clan relied on him and the other guards to protect them. If he couldn't do that, then what use was he?
Kalanu, as always, was easy to pick out against the landscape. Her midnight black fur and brilliant tattoos - that almost seemed to glow - stood out against the greenery. Today, however, she seemed different. She seemed...sad, perhaps?
Concern gripping him, he hastened his pace and gave a low call to announce his arrival, speaking only when he was within comfortable hearing distance.
"Kalanu?" He phrased her name as a question, slowing to a halt.
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 9:53 am
Kalanu perked up when she heard Poa announce his arrival, turning herself about to watch him come closer. She smiled at him despite the questioning tone, obviously he could tell something was up and she knew if she tried to compensate any more it would be worse. She pushed herself up to her feet and brushed against him affectionately, something she'd been doing more and more lately.
"How was your morning, Poa?" she asked brightly, staying close.
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 9:57 am
He blinked, leaning into her a little as she brushed against him. He was slowly getting used to this whole 'dating' thing now. Strange really, considering he had never even considered it before. But now that he was, he was starting to realise that there was more to life than work. That it was nice to have someone to talk to. He'd never been one for talking with his family much about his thoughts and feelings, but he had begun to think that with Kalanu it would be different.
"We had a successful hunt this morning. A lot of content lions are dozing right now." He even smiled a fraction at that. He had gone out to meet them and aid in dragging the carcass back. "So all in all, it has been good."
He paused, canting his head a little. "What about you? How was your morning?"
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 10:03 am
She smiled despite herself at his story about his clan's successful hunt, knowing she'd been a little less than useful in that area lately. Or a lot less than useful, depending on when you asked. Still, the fact that Poa was smiling was enough to keep her smiling- until he asked about her morning. If she didn't say something now, she wouldn't say anything. She glanced up to the sky for Sesere, not seeing the little black bird anywhere but knowing she was watching and waiting.
Sighing, she took a small step away so they could see each other better.
"Poa, we have to talk about something," she said, trying not to frown but unable to hide it.
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 10:07 am
Uh oh.
His heart dropped in his chest and a strange cold wave of worry washed over him. What followed those words were never good. He'd heard them uttered many times before, usually before someone was scolded or told that they couldn't do something. The talks were always serious and, from his experience, little good ever came of them. His ears pinned back against his mane as he looked at her, his breath shallow but fast as he tried not to think into the situation too much.
"Sure." He replied at last. "Is...is something wrong?"
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 10:15 am
It took her another minute to speak as she tried to sort out her words again but she knew what she needed to say, she was just afraid to say it. Surprisingly, though, she managed to keep her eyes on him until she was ready to speak, then she looked down at his feet.
"I can't keep visiting you," she said, her voice started out louder than it finished, "My clan is on the move again, it has been for a little while. I was OK walking farther but now they're at least a day ahead of me."
The clans had been nearby for quite some time now, this was inevitable but somehow it still surprised Kalanu, even as she actively worked against it to keep a reasonable distance between her and Poa.
"I have to catch up to them," she murmured, finally looking back up.
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 10:28 am
Oh...
He swallowed, wondering whether this was better or worse than he had imagined. His tail came to a halt, coming to rest on the ground behind him and for a long moment he was quiet, turning over her words in his head so he could understand them fully. This was a situation that was bound to happen, of course. No one ever stayed put forever in these lands and there were always going to be times when the clans were closer together or further apart. The Shadows themselves would be moving again, soon, now that Phib and Amedia's litter were growing stronger and better able to travel without tiring or needing to be carried.
He wondered how long it would be before their clans crossed paths again. Wondered how long it would be before they could see each other again. From Kalanu's face he began to wonder if it would be too long.
Realising that he still hadn't responded, he sat heavily and expelled a soft breath. "I guess it was inevitable." Was this a goodbye, then? "Being too far away from your clan is dangerous, especially if you're travelling alone." He certainly didn't want to bring any harm to her. "Do you know where your clan will be settling?" Maybe, if he could find someone he trusted to cover his patrol shifts, he could take some time out to visit her?
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 10:38 am
She was trying to figure out what was going through Poa's head but his face was hard to read, as usual. He'd been smiling before but not now, and while that said something it didn't really say much. His questions, however reasonable, forced her to look away again. First she glanced down to the ground but then she looked up to the sky. Still no sign of Sesere.
"I know they are headed for the river crossing now but where we'll end up stopping after that I'm not positive," she said, almost glaring up at the sky, "But I have Sesere and having a bird to help you makes it a lot easier. We'll be able to find our way."
She looked back down to Poa, now looking more passive than nervous or upset.
"You- you could come with us," she suggested, her voice very quiet. She didn't expect him to agree but she wouldn't have been able to stand it if she didn't put it out there.
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 10:46 am
But having a bird with her wouldn't protect her from danger. The very thought of it worried him. How could he just allow her to keep risking herself each and every time she had visited? He'd taken it for granted up until now but the very realisation made him angry with himself. What if something had happened to her? It would have been his fault and he would never have forgiven himself.
He opened his mouth to say so but then she hit him with the possibility of him leaving with her. His jaw hung agape for a moment and then he snapped it shut, a horrible nauseous feeling starting in his gut. Leave his home and clan? Leave them unprotected? Leave his family? His heart began to hammer as he panicked about the possibility of it and he took a small step back, trying to keep his emotions in check and failing. He was needed here. His work...his duty...his family...they needed him, right?
"I-I can't." He finally said at last, his voice filled with pain and sadness. "My clan...they need me." He choked around an apology and looked away from her.
This was why he never got close to anyone. Too much heartache involved.
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 11:01 am
Kalanu knew what Poa would say before she ever asked, she knew it was coming when he stared at her in panic as the implications of her suggestion ran through his mind. The only good thing was that she knew his answer wasn't about her- but, as it happened, she realized that hurt even more. She'd been very patient with him since the time they first met, she hated that clan migration made it impossible to maintain the pace they were comfortable with.. but she'd put it off so long now, catching up to the Mantis clan would be no easy task.
She nodded but she didn't trust herself to speak once he refused and looked away. Glancing up to the sky, she finally spotted Sesere and wondered if the sneaky avian had found a way to eavesdrop undetected- she seemed to know it was time to go now.
"OK," she said, clearing her throat as one measure to keep her voice calm as she continued, "I'd better go."
She caught herself before she mentioned again how far she had to go and before she moved closer to Poa to say goodbye. As terrible as it felt, she simply turned around and started back the way she had come.
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2012 11:09 am
His heart hurt. It more than hurt. It felt dead and cold and heavy in his chest. So heavy that he seemed to sag forwards as she answered simply, getting up to go. So this was it then. The end of their...their...relationship. Their friendship and whatever else might have come of it. He tried to speak but the heaviness in him made forming words difficult.
This was his fault. He should have ensured that they stayed friends or that she stayed away entirely. Then this pain would not have existed and the thought of doing his job wouldn't now have seemed so hollow. And then she was leaving and he was just standing there, silent and sad and unsure what to do.
It seemed to him that no matter what decision he made, he would lose. He would lose her or his family and choosing between them. How could he make that choice?
And when she was too far gone to hear he whispered a faint 'goodbye', still standing there watching long after she was out of sight.
He'd made the right choice, had he not? But if so, why did he feel like he'd made the biggest mistake of his life.
/fin
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